I just wanted him to approve,
To be proud of me for once,
To look at me as his son,
Not as his faggy child.
So maybe I convinced myself
A drunk kiss meant more.
Maybe I was straight,
Or at least bisexual.
I’d have his approval,
Even if I lost my best friend’s.

I went on a date
With a girl but
We didn’t kiss…
It didn’t feel…right.
So maybe I was wrong;
Maybe I wasn’t straight,
And certainly not bisexual.
But could I pretend?
After all, I’d have his approval,
But definitely not my best friend’s

She kissed me in the coffee shop
With my best friend watching.
It felt wrong.
And I knew then I was lying to myself.
I wasn’t straight,
And I wasn’t bisexual;
I was definitely gay,
And I think her for the realization.
I’d lose his approval,
But I’d have my best friend’s.

A few months later
I kissed my best friend
And sparks flew.
I was definitely gay.
In that moment,
I’d lost his approval,
But I’d have my boyfriend’s.
And as we danced at his prom
I knew I was out and proud.
Maybe in time,
I’d win my father’s approval.