May 6, 2012, 4:04 p.m.
Dating Rules
Dating Rules 1: Burt Hummel's Rules
For the first time he understood why Wes had looked terrified when describing meeting his girlfriend's father.
K - Words: 1,547 - Last Updated: May 06, 2012 1,410 0 0 2 Categories: Angst, Cotton Candy Fluff, Humor, Romance, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Burt Hummel, Kurt Hummel,
“So you are going on a date with my son.” Burt said studying the boy in front of him.
Nodding Blaine said quickly, “Yes, Sir. Nice to meet you again, Sir. My name is Blaine Anderson, sir.”
“I know and I know you got drunk and slept in my son’s bed. Just as I know that the last time we met you talked about my son having sex.” Burt said wondering why his son would be interested in some punk.
Burt had no idea why his son was going on a date with a guy who would do such things, clearly the punk wasn’t worthy of Kurt. His son deserved to have a respectful, well mannered boyfriend who would take care of him, not one who would get drunk and leave Kurt to take care of him.
“I am so sorry about that, Sir. I will never do anything like that again. Sir, I respect Kurt and I promise to do everything to keep him safe and happy.”
“Let’s be clear, Kid. While my son may think you are perfect, I do not have blinkers on. Dating my son means following my rules,” Burt said holding out a piece of laminated card.
Worrying his lip, Blaine took the piece of card knowing it would be difficult to impress Mr Hummel. He knew he hadn’t made a good impression so the man’s distrust was only to be expected. Blaine had never realised just how intimidating Mr Hummel was but then it was great that Kurt had such an amazing dad. He knew Kurt had an amazing relationship with his father and that Kurt would not consider them to be truly dating until his father approved of their relationship.
Kurt’s relationship with his father was something Blaine would probably always be jealous of since his own relationship with his father was virtually nonexistent. He couldn’t imagine his father being so protective, caring and happy for him when he told the man of his relationship with Kurt. It was likely that his father would look at him with cold, disgusted, shamed eyes before walking away. After coming out three years ago, Blaine had come to accept it his father was always going to look at him that way, nothing he did was good enough for his father.
Pushing way such depressing thoughts, Blaine turned his attention to the card in his hand and slowly read each line. Blaine had never felt so terrified in his life, for the first time he understood why Wes had looked terrified when describing meeting his current girlfriend’s father.
Rules for Dating Kurt.
- If you are picking up Kurt for a date, you walk to the door and knock. Doing anything else means you will not be going on a date with my son. You clearly have no manners or give my son the respect he deserves.
- After your tenth date, you have permission to hold my son’s hand for no more than five minutes. If your hands touch him anywhere else or any longer, they will be removed.
- If you upset my son in any way, I will make you suffer. I have a gun and I know how to disable your breaks. Remember this or else.
- If you date my son, you date only my son. Should you date anyone else or even think about dating anyone else, you will out just how good a shot I am. Yes, this includes girls since I heard about your experiment.
- If you talk to my son in my household, your conversations will be monitored. Should you say or do anything inappropriate or upset him, you will be thrown out of the house.
- You only get one chance with my son. If your relationship ends, you are not to set foot inside my household again; you have clearly proven you are not worthy.
- If you do break up, do not attempt to get rekindle a relationship with my son. Clearly my son’s life will be better without you.
- You are not allowed to sing any songs to my son in public or in private that refer to sex. Yes I did hear about the Gap Fiasco and I am not impressed.
- Do not attempt to lie to me, doing so means you are not good enough to date my son.
- You will only use my son’s car when on dates; it has a GPS which I will be checking. If it shows you have been in one place for more than fifteen minutes, expect to be interrogated and I will have this information verified.
- You will listen to my son talk about his Glee club without complaint. If you use anything, he tells you against him in a competition, you will be given to Santana, Rachel and Mercedes to destroy.
- You will carry this card with you at all times. Should you break any of these rules, I will make you cry. Ignorance of these rules is not a valid reason.
"Let me make one thing Kid, if you even think about having sex with my son, I will destroy you." Burt said calmly.
Kurt walked into the living room where Blaine was waiting to pick him up for their first date and wasn’t that an amazing thought. He was shocked to see a satisfied look in his father’s eyes as Blaine looked at piece of card with a mix of fear and determination. Kurt had no idea what was on the paper but he had a feeling that it was best that he not see it.
Standing Blaine was once again marvelled at Kurt’s impeccable dress sense, there was no one else who could look beautiful such a mixture of colours and styles. Holding out the expertly wrapped box he had been nervously tapping his fingers on since stepping into the Hummel-Hudson household, Blaine smiled widely.
“You look stunning, Kurt.” Blaine said honestly.
Blushing Kurt said, “Oh Blaine, you didn’t need to get me a present.”
“I know. I saw it and knew it was perfect for you,” Blaine said with a charming smile.
Sitting on the sofa Kurt reverently opened the present, gasping in delight and shock at the beautiful Dolce & Gabbana scarf. A part of him felt slightly uncomfortable that Blaine would buy him such an expensive present for the first date but he knew Blaine wasn’t doing it to make him feel uncomfortable. Coming from an affluent family, Blaine didn’t think twice of paying over $200 for scarf, to him it was little more than pocket change and he liked buying presents just as Kurt liked receiving presents.
“It is beautiful,” Kurt said running his fingers along the material.
“I'm happy you like it,” Blaine said, about to take Kurt’s hand but quickly changing his mind at Burt Hummel’s cold glare.
Not noticing Blaine’s alarmed look Kurt put on his new scarf saying, “Dad, I promise to be back by curfew and I'll keep my phone on.”
“Okay, Kurt. Have a good time and be careful,” Burt said smiling at his son.
Kurt nodded and grabbed Blaine’s hand to lead them out of the house, not seeing Blaine’s nervous look. Once they were outside the house, Kurt smiled reassuringly at Blaine, feeling slightly reassured to see that he was not the only one feeling nervous. Kurt knew he had no reason to feel nervous since they were just going out to dinner, which they had done before as friends. At least they would be spared the more uncomfortable getting to know each other, and they knew what conversation topics to avoid.
“Kurt, do you want to take my car or yours?” Blaine asked politely.
Kurt considered the question, knowing there was a chance that whatever car was used would be damaged by the Neanderthals who had spent years harassing him. Barely a month ago, the headlights of Kurt's car were broken and homophobic graffiti across the bonnet and front doors in pink spray paint.
“My car,” Kurt said seriously.
“Okay,” Blaine said mentally jumping for joy since it was one of Burt’s Hummel’s rules.
Blaine got into the passenger seat and smiled reassuringly to his boyfriend, not wanting to look like some panicked wreck or make Kurt think he didn’t want to go on this date. Blaine wanted their date to be everything Kurt had dreamt of for years.
“Blaine, why are you so nervous?” Kurt asked worried that Blaine was starting to worry about going on a date in case they were attacked by homophobic idiots.
Squeezing Kurt’s hand reassuringly Blaine said, “I just want this night to be perfect.”
“It will be, Blaine, because I am going on a date with you.”
Blaine grinned widely, feeling all of the tension go from his body. Everything would be okay because it was Kurt he was dating, Kurt who was the most beautiful soul he had ever known. Kurt wasn’t going to think he was crazy when he talked about talked excitedly about Vogue or Prop 8.
“You’re right, Kurt. Tonight is going to be amazing.” Blaine said grinning.
As Kurt started driving Blaine could help but wonder just how much ribbing he was going to get from David and Wes if they caught him memorising the Dating Kurt Rules and he would memorise them. He had no other choice because breaking a rule would result in him losing Kurt and he wouldn’t be able to cope without Kurt in his life.
The End