The cool October wind floated over Kurt’s face. He walked to the familiar patch of road he had visited religiously for the past two years. His heart jumped like it always did when he saw the white make-shift cross that stuck up out of the cold earth. Kurt fiddled with the flowers in his hands and crossed the asphalt, slowing when he reached the tree line. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes and he breathed a haggard sigh.

Two years without Blaine.

He glanced around the desolate road, looking for approaching cars. He set the flowers down on the cold grass. Every time he came here the same flashbacks passed through his vacant eyes.

—-

Kurt had been sitting in his living room reading a book. It was an October night in his senior year of high school and Blaine was coming over to watch a scary movie with him. He glanced at the clock every few minutes; it usually didn’t take Blaine this long to make the drive here. As if on queue the phone rang shrilly. Kurt walked over and picked it up, hearing a frantic Rachel on the other end.

“Kurt, Kurt, are you there?”

“Rachel what’s wrong?”

“Blaine’s been in a car accident. They won’t tell me what’s going on but it’s bad. Really bad.” Rachel’s breath hitched at the last part.

“I’ll be right there. Which hospital?”

Kurt wrote down directions and grabbed his coat. His mind was racing and nothing he was doing registered. He didn’t feel anything as he turned the key in the ignition. Blaine was hurt, maybe not even alive at this point. He hadn’t noticed he was crying until the road became almost too blurry to see.

When he burst through the doors of the hospital he saw Rachel curled in a waiting room chair. Her eyes were red-rimmed and a blank stare was cast across her face. Kurt sat down and shifted an arm around her shoulders. He tucked a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. She looked at him with a solemn expression and they waited.

“Rachel Berry?”

A grave faced doctor made his way to the two figures. Rachel hopped out of the chair and Kurt followed behind, taking her hands.

“Blaine’s lungs were crushed by the impact and his brain began swelling before anyone could be called. We tried everything we could but.. He didn’t make it.”

Rachel crumpled to the ground and Kurt stood there shocked.

Blaine was dead.

He would never see the smaller boy smile, he wouldn’t see the ever so constant sparkle in Blaine’s eyes, he wouldn’t see Blaine try helplessly to make his way across an icy driveway only to fall into Kurt’s arms. He wouldn’t be able to see Blaine sigh, or hear his musical laugh, he wouldn’t be able to call Blaine’s number and hear his beautiful voice on the end.

As if he couldn’t come to terms Kurt dialed the familiar number. It went to voicemail.

“Hi! You’ve reached -Kurt stop that tickles!- Blaine Anderson, please leave a message!”

He shook himself back into reality long enough to make his way to Rachel, who had been moved into a chair. Sobs racked her small frame and Kurt sat down, enveloping her in his arms and trying hard to keep the tears in.

For days afterwards Kurt saw the story on the news. Blaine had been driving the speed limit when a truck had side-swiped him in just the wrong spot that it sent him barreling into the tree.

 He took weeks off school, visiting the site every night. He spent days with Rachel, who had finally gotten a hold of Blaine and her’s dads. They had flown back from Fuji on the earliest flight. Kurt had been there to watch them run to Rachel. To watch them curl their arms around the broken girl, slowly becoming broken themselves.

When he had finally returned to school he got curious glances and several people sent their sympathy. He would link arms with Rachel hoping that their bond, both physical and emotional, would keep them from breaking down like they wish they could.

Occasionally when Kurt was visiting the site he would come across a glee club member. He would hold them in his arms much like he had for everyone. He never took time to mourn by himself. He was only there for others.

Graduation hadn’t been the same. Two anniversaries came and went. Everyday the memory of Blaine haunted Kurt in the worst way.

———-

He was brought back to reality by Rachel’s voice. They had become distant after high-school but still went out to lunch every now and then. She was in college to become a choir teacher and Kurt was at law school.

“I thought I’d see you here.” Rachel’s voice was choked up and she held a similar bouquet of flowers.

“Hey Rach.” Kurt went to put an arm around her but instead she wrapped her own around him. Welcoming when sobs that had been repressed for so long stained her shirt. Kurt leaned into Rachel’s shoulder and she cried too.

What seemed like hours later they pulled apart. Rachel cupped Kurt’s face in her hands.

“Kurt, you were there for me, for my dads, for your school, for everyone but yourself. You needed someone to be there for you. I’m always here, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Blaine’s always here too, just not physically. He’s in here.” She placed a hand on Kurt’s heart.

“Thank you Rachel. I’m so sorry.”

Rachel just nodded and held out her hand. “Want to have one of our famous sleepovers?”

“Sure.”

They walked back to their cars and Kurt sent a wary glance back to the cross. When the wind blew he thought he heard the soft laughter of a boy who would forever hold his heart.