Stolen Hearts… and Condoms

Blaine held his breath while he looked into the grocery store through the window. He turned around to see the Warblers huddled up in the corner of the alley, grinning like idiots. Wes, a member of the club's council, was giving him a thumbs up and making motions for him to go on. Blaine could barely hold his annoyed sigh. Stupid Warblers with their stupid rules.

Blaine gathered his courage and opened the door. His entrance was announced by a loud jingle. He looked around the store again, this time from inside. It was fairly crowded for ten in the morning on a Saturday, which would make his mission even more difficult. Stealing was hard but with so many people around - nearly impossible.

He really didn't want to do this but he had to, at least that was what the Warblers' rules said. See, the Dalton Academy Warblers had this polite, collected, one could say even dapper exterior, but underneath, they were noisy, messy, and were infamous for causing trouble at school. However, when it came to Blaine, he liked to think he was a good guy. He was polite because he couldn't even imagine being anything but. He held the door open for others, let everyone who seemed to be in a hurry get past him in a queue. He was happy doing so, however in Warblers' book it all made him boring and too predictable. They decided Blaine had to change. So when the boy announced that he wanted to audition for a solo, an emergency meeting was called in order to come up with a challenge for their club member to demonstrate he was worthy of the honour.

And the challenge couldnt have been not wear hair gel for a week or miss a class or two, it would have been too easy. They had to turn him into a criminal instead. They told him if he wanted to become a soloist he had to steal from a grocery store somewhere far from Dalton, like Lima. And not just anything, say a chewing gum or maybe a pack of biscuits. Blaine blushed whenever he thought of the things he had to steal, which were... an adult magazine and a pack of condoms.

Blaine had argued with the Warblers for days, questioning whether the traditions could be somehow modified. He even cracked open the Warbler's Rule Book to find an alternative, but the damned thing was there - a Warbler should deem himself worthy of a solo by completing a challenge reflecting one's extreme weakness - Blaine read it several times to finally get it into his head that there was no way out if he wanted to have a solo as a Warbler. The Book also stated that there should be no redos, so if he failed this test, he'd never get a chance to audition again. Everyone knew it was silly since real talent could have been wasted but rules were rules and they had to follow them.

“Can I help you, sir?” a smooth male voice woke Blaine up from his thoughts and he almost tripped over his own feet when he saw the owner of the voice.

The boy was wearing a simple apron, stating that he worked there. He was rocking it together with an airplane brooch. Blaine thought the boy looked handsome, like really really beautiful and then he looked away, because staring was impolite and Blaine was a polite boy. A polite boy who was about to steal a very suggestive magazine and condoms.

"Quit making out with your customers, Hummel, I'm bleeding. Ring up my pads or Im going to tear them open and put them on, right in the middle of the store," a frustrated voice called and the boy let out a terrified squeak.

"Sorry about that. Excuse me," the cashier said hurriedly and ran towards the counter.

Blaine started walking around the store and was pleasantly surprised to see that the boy he had met earlier was the only one wearing the store's apron. He cheered inside because it meant fewer eyes hawking at him. Unfortunately, he caught the cute cashier sending him weird looks, which only meant that Blaine had caught his attention. Which was bad, like really bad.

He knows, Blaine thought when the boy looked at him again. He must have given himself away somehow. He is probably about to call the police.

Next time their eyes met, the cashier smiled and looked away quickly, busying himself with sticking prices on new products.

Feeling slightly less panicky Blaine started walking around mindlessly, looking at some pasta bags when he heard a jingle of the shop door. He didn't pay attention to it until he heard familiar voices.

"I doubt hell do it," Wes said too loudly and Blaine rolled his eyes.

"I knew he would chicken out," another council member, David, agreed with him.

Moments later Blaine could hear some items being scanned. “These biscuits would go nicely with a good magazine, I think,” Wes spoke again. Blaine made a mental note to tell him he was being a total weirdo speaking like this.

“Yeah, hopefully our fellow Warbler will bring one today,” David said pretending to be nonchalant.

Soon the door jingle sounded again and Blaine guessed that the boys had left. It was so like them to come into the store to get on his nerves. They knew how much he wanted the solo and they also knew he was the best candidate, yet they insisted on their game, teasing him as much as they could just to make sure he went through with the plan.

Blaine reached the magazine stand, which, luckily for him, was in a pretty secluded part of the shop. He cursed himself for his poor plan - go in, look around, steal. Standing there he realised he should have done it differently. He should have visited the store earlier and formed a proper plan. It was too late for regrets now. He had to improvise along the way.

He skimmed through the covers of the magazines. He never realised there were so many of them. He had no idea which one the Warblers would enjoy the most.

Blaine reached for the one with a girl squeezing her boobs.

“I wouldn't take that one if I were you,” he heard the melodious voice again and turned to see the cashier standing next to him holding several tubes of lube. “A couple of customers complained that this issue wasn't satisfying them. As if it's our fault... I heard that you can never judge a book by its cover. And I can say, with the amount of silicon in those boobs,” he pointed at the cover again with a smirk, “this can be an exception.”

“What? So do you like them natural and perky, huh?” Blaine asked coyly, deciding to play it cool.

But he couldn't help but feel disappointed that the boy wasn't playing for his team judging by an awful lot of information on what natural boobs were supposed to look like. Not that he had a chance with the cute cashier before, he scolded himself mentally.

“Well, I do like them natural. But these magazines have way too many boobs and not enough cocks for me,” he replied back, winking and it made Blaine gulp loudly. Hot damn! Blaine whistled to himself internally.

“Me neither,” Blaine managed to squeak out, “I'm browsing for a friend.”

“Well, why don't you try this one?” the cashier said, picking out another magazine from the shelf. It had a picture of a girl with nothing but a leaf covering her...private area. Blaine couldn't help but grimace.

“Or maybe your friend would like to experiment?” he gestured at the newest issue of ‘Playgirl'.

Now that might be interesting, Blaine thought with a smirk. He finally chose the one that had a guy taking a shower in a locker room on the cover. Now that was something the Warblers wouldn't expect from him. They thought they would have some fun with any magazine with nudes Blaine brought if he did succeed in his challenge but most of them were into girls and would be disappointed seeing a magazine with naked guys. They should have realised ‘an adult magazine' didn't necessarily mean boobs. In Blaine's opinion, they deserved what they were about to get.

“I hope your friend has a great time with the magazine,” the cashier said with a wink that made Blaine uncomfortable. He didn't want the guy to think he was one of those people who masturbated in front of someone's photo.

“Yeah, probably... Maybe I will ask him first,” Blaine said when he suddenly realised his mistake.

He was showing too much interest in the magazine. He was about to steal it and yet he was taking advice from the store's worker on which magazine to take. When the guy eventually noticed the missing item, he would immediately remember him. It wasn't safe to steal ‘Playgirl', much to Blaine's disappointment.

“Take your time,” the cashier said and walked away leaving Blaine alone with his misery.

An old lady came over for some knitting magazine and Blaine could feel her judging look. She knows I'm a soon-to-be thief, he started to sweat more until he remembered he was still holding ‘Playgirl' in his hands. He put the magazine back on its shelf as if it had burned him, but the damage was already done. It went against Blaine's every instinct to walk away without apologising to her, trying to make it right and offer to help her pick up her groceries and carry them to her house. But, he had a job to do. His dignity was at stake, he couldn't even begin to imagine the ridicule he would have to endure if he failed this challenge. It would also make his parents proud if they ever decided to attend the competition.

He couldn't steal that magazine now, with the old lady looking at him suspiciously and muttering to herself about how the new generation was getting worse. Blaine saw the perfect opportunity when she looked away and carefully placed the boob squeezing magazine into his pants, but not deeply enough to have a weirdly shaped butt, and tried to cover it more by tugging his jacket over it. He hoped that it didn't make any sound or suddenly fell out of him.

Blaine moved with determination in his steps since he was half done with the challenge. It took a minute or two but he finally found the shelf displaying several packs of condoms after scanning the shop with his eyes. Blaine didn't give himself time to overthink and after double checking that no one was looking his way, he grabbed the nearest one, cherry flavored, he noted, and shoved it in his pants, the front this time.

Unfortunately, the swift movement caused the entire shelf to rattle. Blaine tried to steady it but it only made the rattling worse and several condom packs fell on the ground with a loud thump.

Shit, Blaine thought as he tried to put the packs back before someone noticed. Unfortunately for him, two teenage girls were staring at him, giggling at his helplessness and to make things worse, the uproar caught the cashier's attention.

“Let me put these back,” he offered with a smile.

Blaine was about to die of embarrassment. First he was caught staring at adult magazines and now at the shelf full of condoms and lubricant.

He still helped the store worker to tidy up his mess, feeling the magazine grazing against his ass with each move and the pack of condoms pressing sharply on his dick.

“I'm so sorry about this,” Blaine said for the millionth time after they were done.

“It's okay, I can see you are eager... to take care of your... ur, your friend's problem,” he mumbled glancing at Blaine's crotch. He studied several bottles and handed one to Blaine. “Your friend might need this little helper. It's pretty good.”

Blaine choked on air when he saw the outstretched item and took a step back. “No, I mean, I don't... my friend said he didn't want... anything,” he said shaking his head frantically. “I gotta go, bye.”

All politeness forgotten, Blaine ran out of the shop and into a group of overly eager Warblers. They were practically jumping up and down in excitement and it took all Blaine's strength to stop them from ripping his clothes off in their attempt to get the items right there, in front of the shop. They moved to a secluded corner and Blaine presented what he had stolen.

The Warblers each took turns to inspect the items, making sure they were real and they divided the condoms among themselves. David checked his pockets to make sure that Blaine didn't carry any receipt with him and the items were, in fact, stolen.

Wes sighed loudly. “Alright, Blaine Warbler. The solo is yours. Nobody else wanted to audition and you are our best singer after all. I'm glad I can officially say that now.”

Blaine cheered loudly and each Warbler stepped forward to congratulate him on his victory, as well as rightfully earning the solo. Blaine wanted to roll his eyes at their choice of words. Then David declared the meeting finished and the Warblers scattered.

Only Blaine was left in the city because he had come in his own car while other Warblers shared their cars, letting Blaine mentally prepare in silence while driving separately. He was standing all alone with one condom in his hand. He didn't feel right about what he'd done. A resolve settled inside him and he moved to the opposite direction his car was parked.

When he came back the store was mostly empty. Most customers had gone out for lunch except the boy who, of course, had to work. Well, good, that meant the boy couldn't embarrass him in front of everyone.

Because Blaine Anderson was there to confess and amend for the wrong he had done. He saw the cashier waving at him but ignored the boy. Instead of talking to him, he quickly went to the magazine stand and then to the condom shelf and took the same items he had stolen. He went to the counter with his cheeks burning in shame and put the items on it for the boy to scan them.

“Your friend changed his mind?” the boy smirked and scanned them.

“No,” Blaine muttered taking a deep breath. “I took them.”

“You took them?” the cashier looked at him incredulously. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I stole them. I... put them under my clothes... and... took them,” he finished. “I'm here to pay for what I stole. Please, don't call the police!”

The boy looked at him with confusion. “I haven't even noticed. Why did you come back? You would have gotten away with it.”

“It's not like me to steal,” Blaine explained. “In my glee club if you want to audition for a solo, you have to complete a challenge and I was forced to steal if I wanted my chance to perform alone at the competition.”

“What kind of rule is this?” the boy asked taking the money Blaine was giving him. “And the school is okay with that?”

“I don't think they know,” Blaine shrugged. “Keep the change, it's for your trouble,” he said when the boy started looking for the coins.

“I'll need much more for my trouble than some change,” he said crossing his arms over his chest and moved to put the items back in their respective shelves.

“How much more?” Blaine asked, trailing behind him awkwardly and opening his wallet ready to pay as much as he had to to buy the cashier's silence.

The boy shook his head. “I don't want your money.”

“Then... what is it that you want from me?” Blaine asked carefully, fearing what was to come. It was the worst day ever.

“You could start with a kiss,” the boy challenged him.

His day just got a whole lot better. “Alright,” Blaine said as it was no big deal and pushed the boy towards a shelf, successfully capturing the boy's lips.

The cashier let out a surprised yelp and scrambled away from his hold. “Didn't think you would go through with it,” he whispered, touching his lips dreamily.

“Neither did my friends when they told me to steal from here,” Blaine shrugged. “I guess I'm in a mood for some challenges today.”

“In that case, I challenge you to take me out for lunch,” the cashier said when a girl wearing the same apron as his showed up and they began walking back to the counter.

“I'd love to,” Blaine said watching the boy taking off his apron and stared unashamedly at the tight shirt he was wearing underneath. “I'm Blaine, by the way.”

“Kurt,” the cashier introduced himself. They walked out of the store together in silence before Kurt broke it. “You know, my dad  borrowed a police uniform for Halloween from his cousin. Say, how would you feel about getting back at your friends?”

Blaine smiled deviously at him. “I'm all ears.”