Blaine didn’t bother waiting for the rest of the Warblers to catch up. He headed straight for his car, climbed into the driver’s seat, and locked the doors. Hands shaking, he tried to put the keys into the ignition, failing twice, before starting the car. He peeled out of the McKinley High parking lot, going twice the legal speed limit.

The trees whipped past, nothing more than a green blur. But if it was only because of the speed, Blaine couldn’t tell. He couldn’t see much of anything through the tears that filled his eyes. Blinking rapidly, he cleared them enough to spot a small park with a lonely swing set off on the right side of the road. He pulled into the parking lot before killing the engine.

His head dropped, hitting the steering wheel with a dull thud. His breaths came in short stuttering gasps, his fingers twisting together in his lap as they itched to pull out the phone that felt like a dead weight in his pocket. Without thinking, he pushed open the door and climbed out, heading for the abandoned swings. Sitting down heavily, the seat creaked gently and he wound his arms around the slightly rusted chain that supported him while the other dug around in the pocket of his blazer. Blaine pulled out his phone and stared at it, almost wishing it would do something.

He moved as though on autopilot, flipping through his address book until he found the name he wanted. Opening a new message, his finger hovered over the letters, not sure what to do. He barely had time to think before he began typing, the words pouring out of him before he could even think about stopping them.



Kurt,

As much as it killed me to let you go today, I could never regret it. The smile on your face, your laugh, your amazing sense of style…I have never seen you look as perfect. And I know that’s because you finally went home.

Dalton…Dalton was never right for you. I knew when I first saw you in the blazer that you were never meant to be contained by those wood-paneled walls and marble floors. As beautiful as they look to many, as safe as they may appear, they were nothing but a cage to you. The amazing man I met on the stairs all those afternoons ago, he never roamed those halls. That was merely a shell, a ghost of who you really were.

And I saw you today. I really saw you. I got to look at the Kurt that I’d only heard about. The Kurt with Broadway aspirations, who was going places, and no one and nothing was going to stop him.

And it took all of that and everything before – every look in the hallway, every time our legs brushed against each other’s under the table during our coffee ‘dates,’ every time I felt your fingers lace with mine as we sang together – to make me see that I am so in love with you. I know it’s why I feel like I’ve just ripped my heart out. And that may be the case, but I know that it’s in a much safer place now.

I’ve left it with you. You’ve had my heart since the beginning, and I’m an idiot for not realizing this sooner.

I love you, Kurt Hummel. And I know you told me you would never say goodbye to me, but I don’t think I could ever let you go, even if you tried.

I love you.

With everything I am,

Yours always,

Blaine



The phone slipped from his fingers and landed in the dirt at his feet as his body curled in on him. His body heaved as he let go, his emotions ripping through him like a hurricane.

Minutes passed before he was able to pull his body upright again. Wiping the tears away from his burning eyes, Blaine bent over to retrieve his phone. Reading through the message, he closed his eyes and pressed discard. Pulling up a new window, he typed up a quick message before walking back to his car to finish his drive back to Dalton.


Not even back to Dalton yet and I miss you.

I can’t wait for coffee tomorrow and movies on Friday.

- Blaine



He turned his phone off, not wanting to be distracted while driving in case Kurt sent a message back.

Pulling into his parking spot, he gathered his things and headed back to his dorm. He turned his phone back on to find he had two messages waiting. The first came from Wes, letting him know that practice had been canceled for that day, that the McKinley performance was enough.

His heart thudded heavily in his chest as he opened the second.



I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I need my ‘fix.’ And you know I don’t mean the caffeine.

I miss you too.

- Kurt


Blaine let one tear slip down his face as he smiled.

Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.