A loud smash resonated through the tiny apartment as a TV fell off it's place on a wall, effectively breaking its screen.
"NO!" A deep voice screamed. Cooper Anderson ran out of his bedroom, eyes flying in anguish to the destroyed TV. Obviously, only a monster would do something like this. Speaking of which, he spun around, facing his just as pissed off boyfriend. "Are you crazy? That was expensive!"
"I'm not crazy, you are!" Ryan yelled right back. "We've been together five years but you still can't show up to a date on time?" The remote joined the TV on the ground, the batteries flying out. "I was waiting for two fucking hours!"
"Ryan," Cooper said slowly, his voice unrealistically calm considering his boyfriend had just destroyed his most precious uses of down-time. "Everyone has their quirks, okay! So I come late to a lot of things so what's the big deal?"
"Oh-ho, you have no trouble coming early to some things," Ryan laughed mockingly, but he was not the least bit happy, "but when it comes to one lousy fucking date, you're suddenly preoccupied with something else!" He stormed off to the kitchen, not doubting Cooper would follow him. He flung his arm to the full sink. "You can't even wash your dishes after you eat! You can't even do your own laundry without me doing it for you! Goddamn, you bloody, dirty pig!"
"You know what Cooper?" He continued, walking away from Cooper and cutting off whatever he was about to say. He didn't want to hear it anyway. "My mom was right about you. I changed for you! Became the person who could fit in with your high-society friend and your high-society family. I even learned to cook for you!"
"I don't need those things! I never asked for them," Cooper said, stress lines forming on his forehead. "I liked you the way you were when we met - not the person you've become now."
"What exactly have I become, pray tell."
Cooper recognized the challenge in Ryan's tone, knew he couldn't over-step anymore boundaries or say anything else to piss him off. He chose his words carefully. "When we met, you had this spark. You were fun, knew how to let loose and didn't give a fuck about pleasing others. But now! Oh, god - now you're all clingy dn wanting to be with me all time. Just seriously, if I had wanted to be dating my mother I would have dated a girl!"
Ryan gasped, tears pooling in his eyes. Cooper knew he had done it this time, but apparently his mouth didn't. "And your cooking? Fuck, the hobo on our street corner could make better food with a hot sidewalk than you could with an actual stove!"
Ryan shook his head slowly, blinking the tears away and whispering, "Mom was right about you." And then, raising his voice, "Your family and you are not the kind of people I should be associating with! You're just a bunch of conceited, selfish cowards!"
"Selfish? Coward?" Cooper rounded on Ryan before he could get to the door. "Hey, asshole!"
That got his attention.
"What do you think of yourself? And your mother? You say that I'm selfish? Why don't you take a good look at your mother to see exactly what that looks like? You know what you are? A coward. Not me - you. I wouldn't be walking out on a fight like you are."
Cooper took a deep breath, finally resigning from the argument. "I can't do this anymore. We're done."
"What?" Ryan gasped in a little voice, confused as to how a fight (one of the many they had) turned into this. One look from Cooper told him all he needed to know, though. He shouldered his bag and looked his boyfriend - ex-boyfriend, he'd have to remind himself from now on - in the eye. "Fine! We're done!"
He got to the door, his voice cracking a bit as he repeated, " Mom was right. You're selfish and conceited! You don't deserve me!"
"Fuck you and your mother!" Cooper yelled at Ryan's retreating back, slamming the door with a loud bang before he had even gotten to the elevator.
After a moment, he slumped against the door. The sudden silence caught up with him. "Shit shit shit shit shit."
Then when the silence wasn't as bad, he was contemplating his new freedom. No attachments, no having to remember birthdays, anniversaries, bull-crap like that. No having to have sex with the same person for five years - not that the sex wasn't good. Ryan was a freak in the sheets, but still. He took another second to let it sink it in that he and Ryan were broken up. "Break up? Woo-hoo!"
That giddiness had lasted only until morning when he had his break down.
He couldn't he, Cooper Anderson, was alone. He had been with Ryan so long that he had forgotten how to be single.
God fuck, what was he gonna do now?
He dialed his brother's number immediately.
"Blaine! Glad you picked up! Hey, is that a party I hear in the background?"
Blaine smiled at hearing his brother's voice. He turned around to survey the party his friends had thrown for him. "Yeah. Wes and David threw me a party for my success in How To Succeed!"
"Ohh," Cooper replied non-comittedly, more important things on his mind as he toed through the fragments of his TV screen. "So that was a success? Listen, I gotta talk to you about something."
"Shoot," Blaine said, accepting a drink from the busty blonde who had been eyeing him the entire night. "Sorry, not on your team," he said sweetly.
She shrugged, "That's a shame, really." She made sure he had a good view of her ass as she walked away, though.
"I wanna get married."
Blaine spit out half of his drink. "Dude, what the fuck?"
Cooper rolled his eyes, he didn't have even patience at the moment for Blaine's clueless-ness. "I said I. Want. To. Get. Married. Did I speak slow enough for you?"
Blaine waved away the insult. "But..why? aren't you and Ryan a little youn-"
"I don't wanna get married to Ryan," Cooper felt a sting in his chest at the name. He'd have to warn Blaine never to say that name again. "We broke up."
"Oh," Blaine felt stupid. "Oh, I'm so sorry Cooper, I now you lo-"
"Let's stop talking about things that are a waste of my time and talk about my wedding."
Blaine straightened against the press of the open bar on his back. He didn't feel in a party mood anymore. "Cooper...you're single. How're you gonna get married now?"
"Easy," Cooper smiled, his reflection smiled back at him from the mirror on the wall. He stuck his tongue out at it. "You're gonna find me a husband."
All of Blaine's drink was on the floor now, instead of his mouth. He wiped away the remnants from his mouth in shock. "E-excuse me?"
"I. Want. You. To. Find. Me. A. Husband."
"Cooper, don't kid with me. What the fuck are you saying?"
"I'm saying I want you to find me a husband goddamn it!"
Blaine flinched at the angry voice yelling at him.
"Someone to fuck for the rest of my life, someone to take care of. Someone that won't judge me when I'm late for things or if I don't know how to do laundry. Someone who won't scream at me if i forget to do the dishes when it's my turn. Someone that won't leave when we have an argument. Someone, Blaine. Just someone."
Cooper's last words were so desperate, so pathetic - how could Blaine not agree to help him? After all, who better to plan your wedding that the person who know you best?
"I'll do it."