March 29, 2013, 4:27 a.m.
Who Knew
Kurt comes back to McKinley after The Break-UpHe has a song to sing.
K - Words: 1,030 - Last Updated: Mar 29, 2013 652 0 0 4 Categories: Angst, Drama, Songfics, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: hurt/comfort,
Kurt takes a deep breath and looks out at the empty auditorium, before he opens his mouth and starts singing, bright and hurtful memories flashing in front of his eyes.
You took my hand, you showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh, that's right
I took your words and I believed
In everything you said to me
Yeah huh, that's right
"You move me, Kurt." Lips touching, teeth clashing together, a flutter in his chest. He can't believe this is finally happening.
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever, who knew?
"I'm sorry Kurt, I just can't do this anymore." No. Why is this happening. "Stop, stop, stop." Suddenly, Kurt is running. Away from Blaine, from his words, from what they mean.
Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no, no no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you a friend
I'd give anything
"Hi," says Blaine quietly. He hadn't expected this. He couldn't meet Blaine now. Not like this. He wasn't prepared. He wasn't ready. "Hi."
When someone said count your blessings now
For their long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
"You are the love of my life, Kurt."
But they knew better
Still you said forever and ever
Who knew? Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we, until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened?
"You can't be here anymore, Kurt." "I get it, I know, I'm pathetic." Kurt looks down at his hands. He doesn't want to hear this. "No, no, no, Kurt. You're not pathetic, it's just that you're stuck. You don't belong here anymore, you belong in New York."
New York. Where it had all ended.
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
And that last kiss I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes it harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling, who knew?
"Blaine. Blaine!" Kurt cries out, trashing around. Soft lips. That's all he remembers when Rachel comes running into his room to wake him up. "Kurt, are you okay?" He's shivering. He's cold, so incredibly cold. He can't shake the memory of the soft lips, and his hand brushes lightly over his own.
My darling
My darling, who knew?
My darling I miss you
My darling, who knew?
Who knew?
He doesn't realize there are tears on his face until he's finished the song, sniffling quietly. He doesn't know why he's here. He doesn't know why he let Rachel drag him back here to watch that stupid play. He doesn't know why he didn't just go home afterwards. He doesn't know why he's standing here, on this stage, singing his heart out when he knows it won't change anything.
"Kurt?" calls a soft voice, making him jump as he turns around. Blaine. There he is. Tears are still running down his face but he doesn't care. "Blaine." The word is barely a whisper, but Blaine hears him, stepping forwards into the light. He looks stunning, as always.
"Are you okay?" he asks softly, and it makes Kurt want to throw up and rage at the same time. "Okay? Does it look like I'm okay, Blaine? Does it really look like I've been okay ever since that night?" he doesn't remember deciding to shout the words, but apparently he did just that, because he can see Blaine flinching slightly.
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't keep holding you back." It's the same words. The same words he said that night. The same words he's been repeating to himself all this time.
"Can't you get it through your thick head? You weren't holding me back! You were keeping me sane. You were what kept me from going crazy. Even with Rachel there with me I was terrified of my dreams never coming through. Of having to go back to Lima and spend the rest of my life working at the Lima Bean. You were what made my dreams seem possible. And then you just left me there, alone. How do you think that made me feel?"
The silence that comes when Kurt has finished shouting is deafening. His quick breath is all he can hear now, and it takes him a minute to register that Blaine is speaking. "I know I screwed up." His eyes are closed shut, but Kurt can see tiny tears forming in the corners.
He takes a step towards Blaine, as quietly as he can so as to not let him know what he's doing. "I'm sorry, but it was just too much for me to handle. The insecurity, the loneliness. I couldn't stand it anymore. I didn't think. I just acted. And then it was too late." Kurt inches his way towards Blaine, very slowly.
"I still love you Kurt, and I want us to be together, if you'll give me another chance." Blaine opens his eyes when Kurt is just inches from his face, and before he can jump away in shock Kurt's hands are at the back of his head, pressing their lips together. They are just as soft as he remembers. Just like in the dream. Kurt doesn't know how long they stay there, but eventually they break apart, both breathing heavily and staring deeply into each other's eyes.
"So you'll forgive me?" Kurt shakes his head slowly. "We still need to talk about this, but for now, I just want to stay here, with you." Pressing his lips against Blaine's once more. He finally feels okay again. He's finally whole.