May 13, 2012, 12:33 a.m.
We've still got tonight
What do you do when you're about to lose the person you love? Kurt Hummel sings.
T - Words: 1,938 - Last Updated: May 13, 2012 781 0 0 2 Categories: Angst, Songfics, Tragedy, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Carole Hudson-Hummel, Kurt Hummel, Tags: character death, OMG CREYS,
He walks swiftly down the quiet hallway. The walls are almost bare, with the exception of a few framed posters of flowers, ships and kittens, clearly mass produced, because he has seen the exact same selection in a different hallway, the last time he was here.
The last time he was here it was for the same reason – a heart attack – but not for the same person. Last time it had been his dad, Burt Hummel, who had had the heart attack. He had also been alone, and terrified. This time around he had his dad, his step-mom, Carole, and his step-brother, Finn, plus all of his friends. That would have helped a little, if it wasn't for the fact that the only one missing was the one currently in the hospital – Blaine.
They had all come home for the holidays when it had happened. He and Blaine had just been taking a walk around the familiar neighborhood when Blaine's hand had suddenly slipped from Kurt's and he had collapsed on the wet ground.
Kurt had screamed in shock and kneeled down to shake Blaine's shoulders, trying to get him to respond. He had called his name and Blaine had opened his eyes and then promptly squeezed them shut again, a look of intense pain on his face. Kurt had scrambled in his pocket for his phone and called 911, sobbing to the woman on the other end that his boyfriend was hurt.
And now he is here, on his way to Blaine's room. He hasn't been allowed to see him yet.
As he enters the room his breath quickens. There is Blaine, hooked up to different machines that are all blinking and making noise. He sits down in a chair next to his bed and grabs the hand closest to him. It's cold, almost like Blaine has already left him alone in this dark, cruel world. Like the only light he had to hold onto has slipped from his fingers.
As he's holding onto the cold, unmoving hand, the tears he has been holding all day start to fall. He cries for a long time, just leaning his head on the bed and crying. He finally falls asleep, all the tears having left his body. For now.
"Okay Blaine, where are we going?" Kurt is being led through New York by Blaine, his eyes covered by a scarf to keep him from ruining the surprise Blaine has promised him for their 5 year anniversary. "We're nearly there, Kurt. Just be patient for a little while longer."
It's a chilly spring night and Kurt is glad he put his jacket on. Smells from all over the world fills Kurt's nostrils, presumably from some of the many takeout places New York has to offer. The sound of late night traffic fills his ears. It's a comforting sound. After more than three years in New York it's become the sound of home for him.
They walk for a few minutes in silence, before Blaine stops Kurt. "Close your eyes," he says, before removing the scarf. He turns Kurt around, and says quietly: "Open them." Kurt does, and looks at the shimmering lights surrounding him. That's New York for you, a lot of lights.
Kurt looks down at Blaine, and suddenly notices that Blaine is on the ground. On one knee. And that he's reaching into his pocket for something. He pulls out a small black velvet box, and opens it. Inside is a silver ring, with a small but elegant diamond on top of it. "Kurt. I love you, and I know I won't ever want to be with anyone else. We've been together since High School, and yes, we've had our ups and downs, but we always got through it. Together. I want to be with you forever, Kurt. Will you marry me?"
Kurt stands there, stock still, trying to comprehend what has just happened. Then he's flinging himself into Blaine's arms and smiling from ear to ear. "Yes, yes, YES! Yes, Blaine, I will marry you!" And they're crying and laughing and hugging and smiling and in this moment there's nothing at all that can hurt them. Because they're young and they love each other.
A loud beeping noise wakes Kurt up. Blaine lies unconscious in the hospital bed, and the noise is coming from one of the machines next to it. Suddenly there are a lot of people in the room. A nurse is taking Kurt's arms and dragging him out of the room. He's kicking and screaming, not willing to leave Blaine's side. "Blaine! Don't you dare leave me! I need you!" Blaine doesn't move. The doctors and nurses are all doing things that Kurt doesn't understand. Not that he's trying very hard; as he's way too busy looking at Blaine.
He is crying now, not sure what he should do. He doesn't even try to fight. He's too tired, and the tears just keep coming. He looks helplessly up at the nurse. It's Carole, and she's steering him into a waiting room and pushes him down into a chair. Kurt didn't know she had a shift tonight, but he has never been happier to see his stepmother. "What's going to happen now?"
Carole takes his hand, and looks him into the eyes. "He had another heart attack, honey. They're taking him into surgery." "Will he be okay?" asks Kurt, not entirely sure if he wants to know the answer. Carole bites her lip. "Kurt… this heart attack looks very serious. I'm not sure he's going to make it."
In that moment it's as if something inside Kurt breaks. Tears keep sliding down his face and his grip on Carole's hand is probably hurting her. But there is something missing, as if the spark in his eyes has suddenly disappeared. He just sits there waiting.
After a while, a doctor comes up to him, a serious expression on his face. "Mr. Hummel, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Your boyfriend, Blaine, had another serious heart attack, as I'm sure you've been told." He gestures to where Carole is still gripping his hand. Kurt nods. "Blaine is stable and awake right now, but it doesn't look like he'll survive the night." Kurt's eyes widen, and he can't keep more tears from escaping.
"Can I – Can I see him?" he asks between sobs. The doctor nods, and leads him through the hallways of the hospital. When he stops at a room, Kurt's heart beats faster. He carefully steps into the room, and his breath hitches at what he sees.
Blaine lies pale as a ghost in the bed, chest barely moving. His eyes, however, are alert. They find Kurt's the second he walks into the room, and he opens his mouth to speak. "I love you, Kurt." It's barely more than a whisper, but Kurt hears the words loud and clear.
Kurt walks up to his bedside, and takes his hand carefully into his own and squeezes. Blaine squeezes back. "I love you too, Blaine. Always." "Kurt, I'm not going to make it. I want you to move on, after I – after I pass." Tears slide down Kurt's cheeks, and Blaine wipe them tenderly away. His moments are weak and jerky, and Kurt can tell that he's trying not to show how tired he really is. "Don't say that. Please, Blaine. No – No goodbyes. We've still got tonight."
Blaine nods, but Kurt can see the way his eyelids droop. He looks like he wants nothing more than to sleep. Kurt can't blame him. He doesn't know what makes him do it, but suddenly he's singing softly to Blaine.
If you're not home, I'll sit here on your doorstep
Button up my coat and wait
We'll go upstairs close the curtains and we're all set
To pick up where we left again
There's question marks hangin' over us
But we won't give the time of day, oh
'Cause all we got is these few stolen seconds
And we can't let them go to waste
Blaine joins him on the chorus, and they sing softly to each other. It doesn't matter that Blaine's voice is nearly gone or that Kurt's voice is thick with tears. They're singing it to each other.
The stars collide
We come back to life
We come back to life
The sparks will fly
One look in your eyes
My heart's open wide
I know time's running out now
But we'll hold back the sun somehow
See the sky?
We've still got tonight
We've still got tonight
Both Blaine and Kurt are openly crying now, but they never stop singing, and they never let go of each other. If this is Blaine's last moments then they're going to make the most of it.
Come 9am
I'm packing every suitcase
Leave you in your bed so warm
I'll do my best not to wake you but it's useless
Can't tiptoe 'round this no more, oh
It's gonna get much harder
Before it gets better baby and that's for sure, mmm
Just say you'll wait for my footsteps on the staircase
And I will walk back through this door
The stars collide
We come back to life
We come back to life
The sparks will fly
One look in your eyes
My heart's open wide
I know time's running out now
But we'll hold back the sun somehow
See the sky?
We've still got tonight
We've still got tonight
So keep your eyes open
There's no time to close them
Just hold on
So tight now
We still got tonight
Blaine's voice slowly gets weaker, and his eyes drift close more and more often. He tries to stay awake though, for Kurt.
If all we got is these few stolen seconds
We can't let em go to waste
The stars collide
We come back to life
We come back to life
The sparks will fly
One look in your eyes
My heart's open wide
I know time's running out now
But we'll hold back the sun somehow
See the sky?
We've still got tonight
We've still got tonight
Blaine's eyes are closed now, and his chest is barely moving, but he still holds Kurt's hand. His eyes flutter open for a second, and they're eyes lock. "Will you kiss me?" Blaine whispers. "I want you to be the last thing I feel as I leave this world." Kurt slowly leans over him, and whispers: "I know time's running out now, but we'll hold back the sun somehow. We've still got tonight." And then his lips are on Blaine's and Blaine draws his final breath.
Outside of the window, the sun is slowly rising, marking the start of a new day, and the end of Blaine's life. Kurt never once lets go of Blaine's limp hand. He doesn't cry anymore. Blaine is gone from this world, and he's never coming back. There's nothing more to cry about. There's nothing that can hurt him now.
There's a single bird outside, singing mournfully, as if it knows there is nothing good about this morning.
Kurt doesn't notice the nurses running into the room. He doesn't notice getting showed out of the way or doctors trying to save Blaine's life. He just stares at the bird sharing its song with the rest of the world.
It's completely grey, except for a thin black line on its wing. Like the black band someone who is mourning might wear to a funeral. Kurt wonders if the bird has ever lost a loved one. He wonders it too, has felt the emptiness he is feeling right now. The feeling that's threatening to grab hold of him and swallow him whole. "Being swallowed by darkness doesn't sound too bad right now," Kurt thinks.
That was their last night together. Kurt absentmindedly spins the elegant ring on his ring finger. That little band of metal held so many promises. Promises of a long and happy life filled with dreams and love and long walks outside with their children. Everything was supposed to be perfect. Everything was perfect. Until it wasn't.