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When Everything is Broken

Now, as he let the tears fell from his eyes and the sobs escaped from his lips for the first time since he'd opened his letter, everything seemed to have vanished. All of the plans he'd made, the tagging of his possessions, every goodbye he'd plotted in his head was gone. There was nothing. There was no more dream. Kurt felt empty.


T - Words: 1,650 - Last Updated: May 27, 2012
581 0 0 0
Tags: hurt/comfort,

Please don't change, please don't break

'cause the only thing that seems to work at all is you

I didn't get in.

I didn't get in.

I didn't get in.

Kurt had to repeat that phrase over and over in his head probably a hundred times before he actually understood what the letter from NYADA had said. He didn't get in. And then the next hundred times he read it, Kurt was convinced that this was some kind of cruel joke. That someone had switched his letter out with the real one as one last hoorah before they graduated and this school, this town, this life became nothing but a memory and a place he came back to see his Dad and Carole on holidays. But the letter, his rejection, it wasn't a joke. It was real life.

When it finally hit Kurt that it was all real, that NYADA wouldn't be taking him in the fall, it was like the house had landed on him after skipping over the Wicked Witch of the West. It hurt worse than anytime one of his many tormentors had thrown him into a locker or a dumpster or a closet. One moment there was air in his lungs, and the next he was suffocating. It was as if the rejection had shackled him, paralyzing him in the middle of his bedroom.

His Dad and Carole weren't set to get back from Washington until the next afternoon and Finn was sulking over his own rejection letter with Rachel at her house. As feelings of the rejection from NYADA took over, Kurt was alone.

Kurt laid himself down on top of his bed which he'd made that morning like it was any other day. His dreams were in reach that morning. His future was right in front of him. NYADA and New York and Broadway were only months away. Now, as he let the tears fell from his eyes and the sobs escaped from his lips for the first time since he'd opened his letter, everything seemed to have vanished. All of the plans he'd made, the tagging of his possessions, every goodbye he'd plotted in his head was gone. There was nothing. There was no more dream. Kurt felt empty.

When the last of his tears trickled down his cheeks and his breathing became more regular, Kurt reached over to the nightstand to grab his phone. His heart constricted when he saw that he had a text from Blaine.

Hey, you didn't call. Is everything alright?

Kurt wiped a straggling tear from his cheek before typing out his response.

Can you come over?

A moment later Kurt had his answer and he'd never loved his boyfriend more.

I'll be right there.


When Blaine arrived, Kurt opened the door, grabbed him by his hand and led him up to his bedroom.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked as Kurt moved to close the door.

Kurt leaned against the closed bedroom door. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them to find Blaine's bewildered eyes on him.

"I didn't," Kurt said before pausing to compose himself, to get rid of the tremor in his voice, to make a weak attempt to keep the tears from welling up again in his eyes. If he said it out loud it was definitely real, "I didn't get into NYADA."

Blaine almost thought he'd heard Kurt wrong. Because Blaine had been at Kurt's audition. Blaine had seen Kurt absolutely destroy Not the Boy Next Door; he watched him move spectacularly across the stage. He was certain that Carmen Tibideaux had been, at the very least, impressed by Kurt's performance. There was no way that the words he'd just heard come out of Kurt's mouth were true. But the sadness that had overtaken his boyfriend's face and Kurt's red, swollen eyes told him that they were. That somehow, by my some unkind fate, Kurt hadn't gotten into the school of his dreams.

It wasn't more than a second later that Blaine launched himself toward Kurt, taking the other boy into his arms, wrapping them around his middle and holding him against his chest. Kurt collapsed into Blaine's embrace. Blaine would never use the word weak to describe Kurt, but he was not sure he'd ever seen Kurt like this. Kurt wasn't crying. He just stood in Blaine's embrace for a moment before Blaine felt his arms move to wrap around his waist, pulling their bodies a little closer.

They're quiet for a little while, standing in the middle of Kurt's room, Blaine holding on to Kurt as long as the other boy would let him while he tried to find the words to say. But there probably weren't any words that would make the pain in Kurt's chest go away. So Blaine just held on to Kurt.

"Thank you," Kurt said pulling away a bit but keeping his hands around Blaine, "I needed that."

"What else do you need?" Blaine asked reaching up and cupping Kurt's cheek with his right hand, "Anything. Just name it."

Kurt looked at Blaine the corners of his mouth turning up just a fraction, "Anything?" Blaine nodded and Kurt leaned into the hand at his cheek, "Then can we just pretend this isn't happening? At least for tonight. We can watch a movie or something like we'd planned."

"Okay," Blaine whispered because he wasn't about to argue with Kurt, not now. Not while everything was so fresh, the hurt so intense.

So they crawled under the covers of Kurt's bed after turning on the TV. The only sound coming from the Kardashian's marathon on E! Kurt's head resting on Blaine's right shoulder, Kurt's hand lying carelessly against Blaine's stomach. Blaine held Kurt close as he only sort of watched Kim deal with her latest 'crisis'. He still not sure that pretending everything was okay, when he knew that Kurt was hurting so badly inside was a good idea. But this was what Kurt wanted. And if only for that night, Blaine would give his boyfriend anything that he wanted.

Blaine's attention was pulled from the television and his own thoughts as he felt a tug at his shirt. He looked down and saw Kurt's hand pulling the front of Blaine's shirt into his fist. Alarmed, Blaine moved his head to look at Kurt who had buried his face into Blaine's shoulder. It wasn't long before Blaine heard a shaky breath escape from Kurt's lips and felt the wetness seeping into the fabric of his shirt. Blaine reached for the hand Kurt was using to grip at Blaine's shirt, replacing it with his own hand, holding it tightly and remaining steady when Kurt squeezed tightly into his palm. Holding on to Blaine's hand as if it was the only thing keeping him afloat. And maybe it was.

Blaine whispered 'I love you's into Kurt's ear as the other boy cried in his arms. As Kurt cried, Blaine held him close, running his fingers through his hair, down his arms, making weak attempts at comforting.

Kurt cried himself to sleep, the tracks of his tears drying to his perfect porcelain skin as his breathing evened out and his face became just the slightest bit more peaceful. A little while later, Blaine reached for the remote, turning the TV off before settling next to his boyfriend and falling asleep beside him.

It was late morning before Blaine woke up. The first thing he noticed was that Kurt's warm body was no longer at his side. But before he even opened his eyes, Blaine could feel Kurt on the bed. He opened his eyes to the morning and let his eyes adjust to the bright breams of sunshine coming through Kurt's window. He turned his head to the right and saw Kurt awake, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, and his hands entwined, sitting on top of his chest.

"My dad is on his way home from the airport," Kurt said his gaze never leaving the ceiling, "How am I supposed to tell him that I didn't get in?"

"Kurt, your dad loves you," Blaine said scooting a little closer to Kurt, "He's going to love you even if you don't go to NYADA."

"I just feel like such a disappointment."

Blaine closed the rest of the distance between Kurt and himself and put his hand on top of Kurt's as they still sat on his chest, "You're not a disappointment Kurt. Not to your Dad and not to me. And if NYADA can't see how amazing you are Kurt, then screw 'em cause-"

Blaine was silenced by the pressure of Kurt's lips against his own. It was chaste but it made Blaine pull Kurt closer to him. Kurt pulled away and then tucked himself in the curve of Blaine's neck.

"Thank you for staying with me last night," Kurt said.

"You're welcome," Blaine said running his hand down Kurt's back.

They stayed like that for a few minutes before they could hear the car door shut in the driveway.

"Okay, up," Kurt said pushing himself away from Blaine and then off the mattress. He ran his hands through his hair and made a failed attempt at making it look like he hadn't slept in his clothes, "I have to get this over with."

Blaine followed Kurt and removed himself from the bed, "Do you want me to go?"

"No! No," Kurt said moving around the bed to stand in front of Blaine, grabbing hold of his hand, "will you stay with me while I do this?"

"Sure," Blaine responded with a nod squeezing Kurt's hand.

"Good," Kurt said as he took a step towards the door, his hand still grasping firmly to Blaine's. Just as he was about to open his bedroom door, Kurt turned to look at Blaine, "I-I don't know what's going to happen next. But I have you right? I have you?"

"Every minute of every day," Blaine said leaning over to place a quick kiss on Kurt's cheek, "Now let's get this over with."

Kurt nodded at started down the stairs to greet his father.


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