There were five steps between Kurt’s front door and the spot in Kurt’s living room where Blaine left Kurt before he walked out of it. Each step Blaine took away from him, each step Blaine took towards the door, felt like a lifetime to Kurt. Long moments laced with memories, regrets and what ifs all echoing in harmony with the sound of Blaine’s sneakers connecting with the floor.

Blaine’s right foot went forward, and Kurt’s heart wasn’t breaking, it was exploding into a million jagged pieces cutting Kurt even further than Blaine’s ‘we can’t be together anymore’. With one footstep Kurt was suddenly back in the senior commons of a school he’d gone for safety, for refuge from a environment where he wasn’t safe. But he’s not attending school, he’s spying, and he’s watching the boy that’s walking away from him now sing a rendition of a Katy Perry classic that will forever be burned into his brain. That was were their story began. That was the beginning of Kurt and Blaine.

As his left foot stepped forward, Blaine pulled his hand out of the Kurt’s desperate grasp. It burned Kurt’s skin as the contact was broken. The cold air burning his pale skin instead of reliving the pain that only intensified with each passing millisecond. It would probably be the last time that contact was made and the severing of something that rocked Kurt to his very core. Kurt had always thought that the touching of hands was one of the most simplistic, yet the most bold statement of affection; the strongest way to connect two people. He’d held Blaine’s hand countless times, in many different situations, and the sensation of Blaine’s warm hand wrapping around his own was empowering. Now that Blaine was walking away, and no longer holding his hand, Kurt had never felt so weak.

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Right foot again. The tears that fell down Kurt’s face were hot and stung his skin, burning him; they were determined to leave the scar of this night with him for a long time, possibly forever. Kurt wiped at them furiously, but it made no difference. He could still reach out and grab Blaine, it would only take one step. But instead Kurt wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hold himself together, and trying to protect himself from what additional pain was coming his way. He doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want Blaine to go, but his lungs feel so heavy, and the heartache is paralyzing. He’d spent his entire life fighting. Fighting for solos and against bullies, and he was pretty persuasive when he tried to convince Blaine to transfer to McKinley, so why now, when it was something more important than any solo and something that was destroying him worse than any bully, could Kurt not open his mouth? Why couldn’t he make the words come out?

His chance to change everything was becoming smaller, as Blaine’s left foot took another step away from him. They say that before someone dies, their entire life flashes before their eyes. For Kurt, as he realized, that this wasn’t the end of his life, but of one of the most important relationships that he will ever have, and each moment, big and small flashed before his eyes. Their meeting on the stairs at Dalton, their first kiss, Kurt’s junior prom, the first time they told each other that they were in love with the other, the first time they made love, Blaine meeting Kurt in New York. All those moments, those precious moments and so many more flash before Kurt in just the moment it took for Blaine to take a single step. The next part of this story, the story of Kurt and Blaine, was sad. It was their goodbye. In a moment, Kurt and Blaine would only exist as separate entities, and would no longer be part of a unit. The story would be over.

Kurt wanted to call out to Blaine. He wanted to scream for Blaine to stop, or scream ‘no’, this wasn’t what was supposed to happen. To say something, anything that could make him turn around and take those five steps back. Kurt was ready to forgive, if only Blaine would make the move. But he doesn’t. As Blaine’s hand curled around the handle of the door, Blaine only stopped for a second, but never turned around to look back at Kurt. He never turned to see the desperate, yet silent plea in Kurt’s eyes that begged for the boy he loved, and would always love, to turn around and be with him. But Kurt knew Blaine. Kurt knew from the look in Blaine’s eyes before he had kissed his forehead and began the torturous journey towards the door, that Blaine had already made up his mind. That there weren’t words that existed in any language, that would change the outcome of this moment, and stop the pain from vibrating through Kurt’s chest.

Kurt took a deep breath as he watched the door open, Blaine disappear, and the door shut behind him. The sound of the door clicking into place was deafening.

Kurt felt empty.

Kurt had spent the last two years with Blaine in love. Kurt had given Blaine love, and Blaine, until today, had given Kurt more than he could even imagine was possible for a gay boy from a small town in Ohio. It was what he’d planned on doing forever, giving Blaine love. But now, there was nothing, nothing that he could give to Blaine, because Blaine wasn’t there to take it.