Kurt had a wonderful day with Adam, but for some reason he still felt as though something had been missing. When Adam grabbed his hand, sparks didn’t run up and down his arm, when he kissed Kurt’s cheek he had blushed but didn’t wish for more. 

He couldn’t get the feeling of longing out of his head long after Adam had left for the night and found himself opening the table next to his bed that has been off limits since that fateful night a few months ago.

Sitting on his bed he reaches inside and pulls out a stack of papers bound together and a small ring box. He opens the box but quickly sets it off to the side, already able to feel the tears gathering in his eyes but not allowing them to fall.

Instead he looks at the papers in his hands, he shuffles through them; a few letters from when he first moved to New York, pictures of him and Blaine from prom and graduation and random days they just wanted to remember, and lastly a page from a notebook featuring a heart with their names written inside from before they were even together.

Looking at the things he’s forced himself not to for so long, he knows what’s missing.

Kurt:I can usually drink you right off of my mind

But I miss you tonight.
I can normally push you right out of my heart
But I’m too tired to fight
Yeah the whole thing begins 
And I let you sink into my veins
And I feel the pain like it’s new
Everything that we were, 
Everything that you said, 
Everything I did and that I couldn’t do 

Plays through tonight 

Memories begin to run across his mind as he closes his eyes, letting them take over after he’s pushed them out for so long. Blaine taking his hand when they first met, their first kiss, Blaine saying “I love you”, their first time….

Kurt (Blaine in background):Tonight your memory burns like a fire

With every one it grows higher and higher
I can’t get over it I just can’t put out this love
I just sit in these flames and pray that you’ll come back
Close my eyes tightly. Hold on and hope that I’m dreaming
Come wake me up.

Back in Ohio Blaine sits at his desk trying to distract himself by checking facebook. He knows he shouldn’t check Kurt’s page, sure they’re friends now… but seeing the little things he’s missing out on still sends a pain shooting through his chest.

He does it anyway, but this feelings of happiness at how well Kurt is doing don’t overshadow the pain this time. A newly tagged picture of Kurt shows up and Blaine can tell he wasn’t aware the picture had been taken as his back is turned and he’s cooking. It’s posted by someone named Adam that Blaine’s never heard of and when he reads the caption he wishes he was still in the dark “Cute and Domestic? I think I’ll keep him”. Blaine shuts his computer quickly, trying to shut off the thoughts going on in his head. He’d been stupid to think Kurt would ever trust him enough to be more than his friend.

Blaine: Turn the tv up loud just to drown out your voice

But I can’t forget
Now I’m all out of ideas
And baby I’m down to my last cigarette
Yeah you’re probably asleep
Deep inside of your dreams while I’m sitting here crying and trying to
Sleep
Yeah wherever you are baby now I am sure you’ve moved on 
And aren’t thinking twice about me And you tonight

Blaine moves to his bed curling up as the memories take over like they have so many times before. Kurt singing Blackbird, transferring to McKinley, lazy days spent lounging in bed, their first time together…

Blaine (Kurt in the background):Tonight your memory burns like a fire

With every one it grows higher and higher

I can’t get over it I just can’t put out this love
I just sit in these flames and pray that you’ll come back
Close my eyes tightly. Hold on and hope that I’m dreaming

The tears come fast and strong as he turns to look at the stuffed dog that resides on his bedside table.

Laying back in bed Kurt finally allows himself to look at the bow tie ring displayed next to him.

Blaine: I know that you’re movin’ on

Kurt: I know I should give you up 
Blaine: But I keep hopin’ that you’ll trip and fall back in love
Kurt: Time’s not healing anything
Blaine: Baby this pain is worse than it ever was

Kurt gently reaches out and grabs the ring holding it closer to his heart.
Kurt: I know that you can’t hear me but baby I need you to save me tonight

Both boys lay in bed letting the feelings take over, tears falling, hearts breaking, as they yearn for the other.

Kurt and Blaine: Tonight your memory burns like a fire
With every one it grows higher and higher
I can’t get over it I just can’t put out this love
I just sit in these flames and pray that you’ll come back
Close my eyes tightly. Hold on and hope that I’m dreaming
Come wake me up.

Kurt: Oh I’m dreaming.
Come wake me up.

Blaine:Oh, I’m dreaming.

They both flick off their lights and try to get a good nights rest, knowing it won’t come…it hasn’t for months.