Teacher!Kurt fic. A substitute teacher teaches Blaine more than just English. He teaches him about love, hope, and hurt.
Author's Notes: Warning for slurs, offensive language, student/teacher relationship/ small amount of smut It's probably badly written, and it jumps a bit between Kurt and Blaine's perspective, so sorry if it confuses you at all
Blaine Anderson straightened his bowtie, checked his hair in the wing mirror of his black and white, 1970’s Chevrolet Chevelle, and got out. It was his final few months as a senior at William McKinley High School, and he was unbelievably glad of this. His 4.0 GPA, his dress sense, his involvement in the Glee Club and the fact that he was the only openly gay student (with the exception of Santana Lopez) meant he was a target for bullies. He hoped that they would forget about him now, and focus on their upcoming finals, but seeing as though most of them had football scholarships lined up, it was less than likely.
Blaine walked into the main hallway, and something felt… different. He didn’t know what or why it felt different, it just did. Maybe, Blaine thought, maybe it isn’t going to be so bad. His blissful thoughts were interrupted by the ice-cold stickiness of a slushie.
“Welcome back, fairy!” he heard, followed by a series of dark laughs, high fives and heavy steps. Everyone around him stared, but they couldn’t help him, they didn’t want to be the target of Karofsky’s daily torture.
Blaine wiped the slushie from his face, and walked towards the boys’ bathroom. It wasn’t even first period and he had to use his back-up clothes. He hoped to grilled cheesus that he didn’t get slushied again, because he’d have to phone his brother to bring him extra clothes, and he knew that Cooper’s boss wouldn’t be okay if he just walked out to bring Blaine a new outfit, after all, that’s how he had lost his previous job.
Cooper would do just about anything for Blaine, in the sense that he was a protective older brother. After their father had kicked Blaine out when he came out to them two years previous, Cooper mad him move into his apartment with him. Cooper hated his father for doing that to his brother, but it was expected.
John Anderson was a horrible man. He saw his sons as business prospects, not sons. He expected them both to jointly take over the family law firm, have high-profile wives and children who would also become lawyers. But that wasn’t going to happen. Cooper wanted to act. When he told his father this before moving to LA, John tried to cut off all ties with him, effectively removing him from the family. Blaine was only 10 when Cooper moved out, but they e-mailed every day. Four years later, Blaine was attacked after his school’s Sadie Hawkins dance. Cooper found out from his grandparents, who kept in contact and made sure both boys had substantial trust funds, and flew to Ohio on the first plane he could catch. Coop went to the hospital when he knew his parents wouldn’t be there, and talked to his brother. No-one knew why Blaine was attacked. Except Cooper. That summer, Cooper moved back to Ohio until his brother graduated high school, in case of the inevitable, Blaine coming out and John kicking him out the house.
Blaine checked his timetable (he had it memorized, but it was a force of habit), and walked into his AP English classroom. It was 5 minutes before the bell, so the classroom was clear and Blaine had time to relax before a surely thrilling lesson with Mrs. Peterson, their 70 year old teacher, who spoke in monotone and made no effort to make her lessons even vaguely interesting. Blaine looked up to the sound of light footsteps entering the classroom, and he saw the most jaw-droppingly gorgeous boy he had ever seen. No new student would come into an AP class this late in the year, so he assumed he had walked into the wrong classroom, until he saw the take-away cup of coffee in one hand and a large pile of papers in the other. He cursed himself for not being a gentleman, and stood up to relieve the boy of some of his papers.
“Thanks.” The boy said, as Blaine took the majority of the papers from him. “Just put them on the front desk somewhere.”
Blaine was pulled out of his focus on the boy’s high yet manly voice, and looked at the boy in confusion.
“But that’s the teacher’s desk.” Blaine informed.
“I know, and I am the teacher, so it’s my desk.” The boy-man- replied cheerily.
“Oh, sorry sir. Where’s Mrs. Peterson?”
“Sir makes me sound too old, I’m only 23, call me Mr.Hummel. Or Mr H. Or is that too childish?”
Blaine giggled at Mr.Hummel’s adorable rambling. No, not adorable.
“Oh, Mrs. Peterson quit. Figgins said something about students falling asleep in her lessons? By what I remember, it would be her falling asleep more likely.” Mr.Hummel laughed, as he put his coffee on his desk and sat down on the chair.
“So, you went here?” Blaine questioned, as he returned to his own seat, because he’d been left in a rather awkward situation.
“Yes. Treated like crap for being gay, and yet I came back. I’m not a total masochist, I swear.”
So his teacher was gay. An improvement on his previous crushes, seeing as though they had all been straight.
‘No.’ he told himself. ‘This is not an improvement. He is your teacher Blaine, your TEACHER. It doesn’t matter if his skin is flawless, his hair perfect and you could drown in his eyes. He is off limits!’
“So,” Mr.Hummel’s voice dragged him out of his head, “I never asked your name. I think I should actually get to know my students a bit seeing as though I’m here for the next few months, seeing as though your English final is the last one you have to take this year.”
“B-b-blaine Anderson sir.”
“Okay, B-b-blaine Anderson sir,” Mr Hummel said, giggling. “The bell’s going to ring in a minute, so if you’ll excuse me I have to prepare for the other 20 student who will storm into this room soon.”
Blaine blushed furiously at his stutter, and realised he was keeping his teacher.
“Sorry sir.” He said, ducking his head and reaching into his bag for his equipment.
Mr.Hummel turned round, and looked Blaine straight in the eye.
“It’s Mr.H, Blaine. ‘Sir’ makes me sound old, and I hate that.”
“Sorry Mr.H.” Blaine replied, annoyed with himself that he made Mr.H repeat himself, even though his voice was like heaven.
The bell rung and the corridor outside the classroom burst into life. Whereas before it was silent, as students were standing and talking outside their lockers, now they were slamming locker doors, saying goodbye to their friends and walking to their classrooms.
When everyone came in and was seated, Mr.H began to speak.
“Morning, I’m Kurt Hummel, your teacher for the rest of this semester, call me Mr. H.” Kurt said the last part smirking in Blaine’s direction. “Your English final may be the last one you all have to take, but it’s important. So, I’m going to get straight into it. Anyone remember which of Shakespeare’s sonnets you were working on before Spring Break?”
Kurt looked around, not expecting many people to raise their hand, though he expected more than just Blaine to. After all, he was teaching an AP English class, the students were meant to care about their education. Kurt looked at Blaine, expecting him to talk.
“Sonnet 116, Mr.H.”
He was about to reply, when a large boy sitting on the third row balled up a piece of paper, and threw it at the back of Blaine’s head. Kurt felt a pang of something in his heart, but decided it was not affection for the short, bowtie-wearing boy, but recognition. He knew what it was like to be tormented, and by the look on Blaine’s face, it wasn’t the worst he received.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He said firmly, glaring at the boy in the third row. “Throwing balled-up pieces of paper at other students may have been acceptable in past lessons, but not with me.”
The student muttered something in response as Kurt walked round to pick the paper up.
“What was that?” Kurt questioned.
“I was only sending him a message.” The boy said, louder.
Kurt felt his heart sink. Was he Blaine’s boyfriend? Kurt didn’t understand why he was like that. He had had a 5 minute conversation with the boy, and yet he felt completely enamoured. Kurt mentally slapped himself. This was his student, he couldn’t have these thoughts.
“Would you like to read your message out to the class then?” he replied, glancing at Blaine who was staring down at his literature book.
“No thanks.” The student replied, smarmily.
“What’s your name?”
“James Karofsky.”
On the sound of the name, fear rushed through Kurt, and then quickly disappeared.
“Karofsky? As in David Karofsky?”
“He’s my older brother. What about him?”
“Nothing.” Kurt said quickly. “Now, how about reading this letter out loud.”
He passed the ball to James, who un-scrunched it and started to read aloud.
“Sucking up to fairy boy, are we fag?” he recited, smirking and receiving laughs and cheers from his peers.
Kurt was outraged. He thought that maybe this school had changed in the four years he’d been gone, but it was still as homophobic and cruel and when he’d been here.
“That language is not acceptable in my classroom, or in this school. “ Kurt roared. You could see the fear in James’ face, along with several other students. But Blaine looked slightly relieved. “Physical abuse towards both a student and a teacher. Grounds for exclusion I think.” Kurt continued, slightly more calmly, as he returned to the front of the classroom.
“Principal’s office. NOW!” he yelled at the boy. “I’ll see you there when the lesson’s over, and I will be checking with the secretary that you’ve been there the whole time.
James rushed out the door, and the room was left in a deathly silence.
“I see that some of you found that amusing. Would any of you like to tell me why?” Kurt looked around the room expectantly. “No-one? I thought so. Because there is nothing vaguely amusing about tormenting someone. Now Blaine here may be gay.” He looked at Blaine for confirmation, which he received in the form of a small nod. “But does that mean you should treat him like dirt? No. Some of the greatest men & women to walk this planet were gay or lesbians. Freddie Mercury, possibly one of the greatest musicians, Ann Bancroft, the first woman to reach the North Pole, Alan Turing, whom we wouldn’t have computers without.” Kurt could see the look of regret in some of his new student’s eyes, so he looked at Blaine, who gave him a small smile.
“Anyway. Back on to today’s work. I’m going to read the poem aloud, then pass around a worksheet on the poem, to find out your knowledge of the work, so I know where to start next week. Okay?”
Kurt began to recite the poem from memory, it was one of his favourites, and he had studied it in both his AP English lessons and at college.
“Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.”
Kurt finished the sonnet, then passed around the worksheets, before sitting behind his desk for the final 10 minutes of the lesson.
The bell rang to signal the end of the lesson, and Kurt had to shout about the sound of the students.
“Put your work on my desk guys, and Blaine?” he paused, looking at Blaine to check he’d heard. “Stay behind for a minute please.” He continued, at a slightly lower volume.
Kurt watched as his class haphazardly threw their sheets onto his desk, half of them missing the desk completely, before they disappeared into the hallways. He sighed and began to sort the sheets in something that looked like a pile, before a pair of hands placed more sheets on top of the pile he created. He looked up to see Blaine standing there, with a shy smile plastered onto his tanned face.
“Thanks Blaine.” Kurt said with a smile. “I just kept you behind to say sorry if I overstepped or made you uncomfortable this lesson.”
“No, no, you didn’t. I wanted to say thanks actually, none of the faculty look like they even care. They see me being slushied and shoved into lockers, but they just look the other way and act like they didn’t see anything. They’re sympathetic and all, I can see that when I walk into their lessons minutes later, but it’s like ‘hey, if you’re gay, then you’re life just going to be miserable, get used to it.’”
“You shouldn’t have to put up with it. People were exactly the same with me; you could tell that nobody really cared, like it was all my fault. But hey, if anything happens, just come to me, I’ll sort it out for you. I may only be a substitute teacher, but most of the faculty were here when I was, and they owe me.” Kurt said with a smile. “But now, I better go see Principal Figgins and Mr.Karofsky.”
“Thanks Mr.H.” Blaine began to walk towards the door, before he paused and turned round, facing his English teacher. “Mr. H? When you said that it was exactly the same for you, does that mean that you’re…”
“Gay? Kurt finished. “Yes. And it was James’ brother who harassed me in high school.” Kurt laughed humourlessly. “We have a lot in common don’t we Blaine.” This time, the laugh was genuine, and Blaine joined in.
“Yes we do.” Blaine replied dreamily, as he left the classroom and head to the library.
Kurt was elated. Something at McKinley had changed, and Figgins had expelled James, even with the protesting from his parents and the claims from them that Kurt was taking out his unresolved anger with David on the younger Karofsky. That all stopped, however, when Kurt showed them the note that had hit Blaine and James admitted it.
He let himself into his apartment, dumped his things on his table, and sunk down onto his couch. His first day had gone surprisingly well, and he had met Blaine. Blaine was his perfect man, smart, gorgeous, great fashion sense, and he bet he had an amazing singing voice, if his speaking voice had anything to go by. He noticed his cock getting harder in his pants, and tried to take his mind off Blaine, but he gave in and slowly palmed himself through his jeans but it wasn’t the relief he needed. He unzipped his pants, grasped his cock firmly, and began to move his hand along his length, his pace increasing. He imagined Blaine’s tongue dragging along the vein on the underside of his cock, then taking the head in his mouth. He imagined the curly-haired boy with his lips around him, and sinking right down, whilst looking at Kurt through his long eyelashes. Kurt came with a loud groan, and collapsed backwards, immediately regretting what he had done. He had had the best orgasm of his life whilst thinking about a student. A gorgeous and completely off-limits student. He sighed as he walked into his bathroom and turned on the shower. He took his shirt and now come-stained pants off, and put them in the wash basket, before climbing into the shower.
Blaine was excited. He got to see Mr.Hummel every morning, due to his timetable, and twice on a Tuesday. Tuesday’s were Blaine’s favourite day, not only because of Mr.Hummel, but because he had Glee Club that afternoon. Glee was the only place he felt he could be himself, without anyone judging him or being malicious. Except Santana, she was a bitch to everyone, but she could be the best at times.
He pulled into the parking lot earlier than usual, eager to get to English, so he could have another conversation with Mr.H. It was two weeks since the Mr. Hummel had started, and two weeks of conversations which got him through the days. He walked down the hallway to his locker, got out his books, and went to his classroom. He was surprised to find Mr.Hummel already sat at his desk, frowning down at a book in one hand, and his coffee in the other.
“Good book?” Blaine said, chuckling as Mr.H jumped half a foot in the air.
“Jeez Blaine, give a guy a warning? And yes, maybe you’ve read it?” He said, bringing the cover of the book up to show him.
“OH MY GOD.” Blaine almost yelled. “Sorry. Of course I’ve read Harry Potter. It’s the greatest series of books of all time. J.K Rowling is my God.”
Kurt snickered at Blaine’s enthusiasm, and Blaine began to blush feverishly.
“It’s fine.” Blaine visibly relaxed at this, his face returning to its normal shade. “It is one of the greatest books of all time. Deathly Hallows is my favourite; I’m re-reading it for the film premiere in a couple of weeks’ time.”
“17 days.” Blaine said without thinking, and the blush returned to his face.
“Well someone’s a fan. Are you going to the premiere in Columbus?” Kurt was surprised at how easily he could fall into conversation with the boy.
“Of course.” Blaine finally moved from his spot next to Kurt’s desk and sat in his seat at the front of the classroom.
“You’re early this morning.” Mr.H said after a few minutes of silence.
“So are you.” Blaine countered.
“Touch�.” Kurt grinned. “Well, the Lima Bean was excruciatingly loud this morning, and I needed somewhere to read in peace.”
Blaine smiled to himself. He’d found out where Mr. Hummel got his coffee from every morning. He’d have to visit there at some point, the coffee was probably much better than the stuff made by Coop’s machine. He suddenly felt a pang of regret. Mr. H had said he needed somewhere to read in peace and he was interrupting that.
“Sorry Mr.H, I’ll go sit in the library until the bell goes, I’ll leave you to read in peace.” He whispered, standing up.
“No!” Kurt half-yelled, standing up quickly. “I mean, no, it’s fine, you can stay here if you want. Always nice to have a conversation with like-minded people.”
“Oh, okay.” Blaine muffled, before walking towards Mr. H’s desk and standing behind him, reading over his shoulder. “Which part are you up to?” Blaine breathed over Kurt’s ear, and Kurt felt shivers run up his spine. Blaine’s voice was un-knowingly sultry like that, and made him want to turn around and kiss him up against the black board. But he had to restrain himself. Blaine was his student, he could get fired and it would taint his record forever.
“The part where, erm, Herman-Hermione- and H-harry go to see Xenophilius Lovegood.” Kurt stuttered over his words, restraining all him primal urges.
“I like the next chapter, where Xeno tells them the story of the Deathly Hallows.” Blaine whispers, his breath still over Kurt’s ear.
Kurt doesn’t know whether Blaine is being intentionally suggestive or not, but he knows that he is going to lose all self-control, and that would be bad. Very bad.
“Hey Mr.H?” Blaine says after a few comfortable moments of quiet. Kurt turned his head round, and Blaine was closer than he expected. Their noses were almost touching, and Blaine’s breath ghosted over his lips. Blaine’s eyes looked as if he was searching for permission to move that couple of inches closer, so that their lips would meet. Kurt closed his eyes and felt Blaine move closer, lips hovering over his own. The moment was interrupted by the bell, Kurt’s eyes opening in shock, and Blaine running to sit in his place before anyone saw him. Both men were flushed and both were trying to inconspicuously arrange themselves in their underwear before the class rushed in.
The hour passed awkwardly, Kurt handed out the sheets from the previous lesson (Blaine getting 100% of course) and Blaine had to stop himself from staring at Mr. H’s ass, even though the extremely tight pants that he was wearing didn’t help Blaine at all.
At the end of the lesson, Blaine quickly packed his things up and ran to Algebra; he didn’t want to see Mr.H more than he had to. He was unbelievably embarrassed. He had almost KISSED his English teacher. He could get him fired, and then he’d never see him again. He spent the rest of the day trying to forget about what had happened, and was relieved when it got to Glee Club. He walked into the choir room and sat next to Mike, engaging in a conversation about the previous night’s Yankees game. Yes, he was gay, but he still loved sports.
“Right, listen up guys!” Will Schuester said as he walked into the room. “First day back, and Nationals are in a few weeks! So we’ve got to get straight down to it. We’ve got to bring our A game this year, Vocal Adrenaline beat us last year, and it’s our turn to win.” The whole club shared a nod in agreement. “So, I’ve brought someone along to help coach you guys, he was in Glee 4 years ago, when we last won Nationals. Please welcome, Mr.Hummel.” Blaine couldn’t believe his ears. Mr.H was in Glee? Mr. H is here now? He felt a blush rise up his face.
“Hey guys.” He said as he walked into the room. “I know some of you from my English classes, so I think we’ll be alright. I haven’t heard you guys yet, but I’m sure you’re all amazing, so it’ll be good to work will you.”
“How do we know you’re any good?” Olly Johnson, a senior on the football team questioned from the back row.
“Well, you don’t. Is it alright if I sing for them Mr. Schue?” Kurt asked.
“Go ahead. I still feel guilty about always having Rachel and Finn in the spotlight. How are they anyway?”
“That’s a conversation for another time.” He laughed “Now Brad? Remember Defying Gravity?” Brad nodded in confirmation.
“Wait a sec. Isn’t that a song for girls?” Olly interjected.
“Well Kurt – I mean Mr. Hummel – go ahead.” Mr. Shue replied.
Brad began to play the first few notes.
“Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes... and leap!
It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I am defying gravity
And you won’t bring me down!
I'm through accepting limits
'cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won’t bring me down!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you won't bring me down!
Bring me down!”
The whole choir room was silent whilst Kurt hit the high F without fault. They were in shock. Blaine was in shock. He had never heard a more beautiful voice in his life. The club burst into a standing ovation.
“Wow Kurt, that was amazing. Even better than when you were in the Glee club.” Kurt smiled in response. “So guys, this week’s assignment is simple. You just have to pick any song, within reason, and perform it as a solo to the group.” Mr. Schue informed them.
The assignment WAS easy, but Blaine was nervous. He’d have to perform in front of Mr. H. He had to find the perfect song.
The next week passed with awkward glances and rushing out of classrooms. Blaine didn’t go to the Lima Bean, nor did he turn up to lessons early. When Glee club came around, both boys were tired of the awkwardness and avoidance. Each thought the other had no feelings for him, and each knew that nothing could happen between them, at least for the next few months.
When Blaine walked into the choir room, just about everyone was already there, including Mr. H. He took his seat on the opposite side of the room to him, and talked to Tina, Mike’s girlfriend.
“Alright guys, who wants to start?” Mr. Schue said, as he walked into the classroom and put his briefcase on the top of the piano.
“Mr. Schue, if I may?” A girl, Sophie, who Kurt thought was surprisingly like Rachel, said as she stood up. Ultimately, Kurt wasn’t surprised when she burst out into a spectacular version of Don’t Rain On My Parade, and he and Will shared a look to say ‘yes, she’s this year’s Rachel’ and ‘no, I don’t give her all the solos’.
Kurt sat through another 10 songs, ranging from an amazing ‘Hey Big Spender’ to a not-so-good ‘I Will Always Love You’ to a surprising ‘Lying Is The Most Fun’ from Olly, which led to Mr. Schue reprimanding him on the subject of ‘public decency’. Everyone had sung, except Blaine.
“Okay Blaine, you’re the last one.” Mr. Schue said kindly.
“Brad, can I use the piano please?” Blaine asked, before taking his seat at the piano when Brad had agreed. Kurt was surprised, the other students had had Brad backing them up, or they had sung acapella, but Blaine was the first and only to play for himself. When Blaine began, Kurt didn’t recognize the tune, but when Blaine began to sing, he felt his breath being taken from him.
‘You think I'm pretty
Without any makeup on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the punchline wrong
I know you get me
So I let my walls come down, down
Before you met me
I was alright but things
Were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my Valentine, Valentine
Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete
Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
I'm a get your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
No
My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back
Blaine looked directly at Kurt as he sung the final chorus.
I'm a get your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight’
Blaine had a gorgeous voice. Everyone was in awe, they hadn’t heard Blaine sing with so much emotion or as passionate as they did then.
“Oh. Wow. Blaine that was… breath taking.” Mr. Schue said, after everyone had stopped clapping enthusiastically.
“Thanks.” Blaine said shyly, before returning to his seat. He could feel Mr. Hummel looking at him, and turned round, to see him quickly looking away again. The bell went for the end of Glee, and Blaine was one of the last out the choir room.
“Hey, Blaine?” Mr. H called, jogging to catch up with him.
Blaine debated for a moment whether he should stop, but he span round on his heel, and consequently made Kurt almost fall over, as he clearly wasn’t expecting Blaine’s quick stop. They stood like that for a minute, Blaine with one arm around Kurt’s back and their chests almost touching, the intimacy of the moment not clicking, and Kurt began to unconsciously move his head closer to Blaine’s, searching for the permission he hoped he’d find in Blaine’s eyes, before he realised where they were and pulled away sharply. He didn’t miss the whimper that escaped Blaine’s lips at the loss of contact.
“I er, I’m sorry Blaine, that was highly inappropriate of me, I understand if you want to leave my class or go to Principal Figgins, I just wanted to give you back your English book you left in the choir room, so here you go, and I’ll just go, again, I’m really…”
Kurt was cut off by a pair of soft lips on his, and melted into the touch. The feeling quickly left though, and Kurt opened his eyes to see Blaine smiling at him.
“Blaine. I. We’re at school. Anyone could have seen us, do you realise how stupid that was?!” Kurt exclaimed.
“But I. I thought you liked me.” Blaine whispered, looking down at his feet.
“I do.” Kurt put a finger under Blaine’s chin and lifted it until Blaine was looking at him. “But we can’t do this.” He said, sighing. “I’m your teacher Blaine, I could lose my job.”
Blaine looked deflated. “We could hide it?” he offered, reaching for Kurt’s hand.
Kurt snatched it away. “No, we couldn’t Blaine. And even if we could, I wouldn’t want our relationship affecting my status as your teacher. We can’t do this Blaine. I’m sorry.”
Kurt began to walk towards his classroom, tears threatening to spill over, leaving Blaine standing in the hallway, in the same situation.
Blaine got to his car, and the tears began to fall. He didn’t understand how he had fallen so hard for the man, in such short a time, and with such little knowledge of him. He drove home, and ran into his room, ignoring Cooper’s calls. He lay on his bed and cried himself to sleep, hoping that the day was all a dream, he’d wake up and everything would be fine.
The next morning, Blaine wasn’t in Kurt’s English class. At first Kurt assumed he was ill, but he checked the class list and realised that Blaine wasn’t on it. Blaine had moved classes to get away from him. He felt awful. He had spent most of the night before feeling like a teenager crying over a lost love, as he had sat in front of his TV and got through a whole tub of ice-cream, and he had realised that he had fallen hard for Blaine, and it was unlikely he’d get back up any time soon. He felt terrible for Blaine swapping classes, but he figured it would be best for both of them if they didn’t see each other. Then Kurt remembered about Glee club. Nationals were in a month, he couldn’t just leave them, and he knew Blaine wouldn’t abandon his friends. It was only two hours a week (rehearsals had increased due to their upcoming competition), they could cope with that.
Kurt kept telling himself that every time he caught a glimpse of Blaine in the halls. Blaine didn’t seem his usual self, but Kurt didn’t know that much about him, this could be his usual self, how he was with him may have been a persona, but he doubted that.
Tuesday came around, and Kurt took a deep breath before entering the choir room. He was the last one in there, and it seemed that everyone was waiting for him, as it was the auditions for a solo at Nationals. Kurt smiled and clapped at everyone’s performances, until it got to Blaine’s. Last time Blaine sung, Kurt fell a little bit more in love with him, and after had ruined something he never thought he would have. It wasn’t a relationship, but their conversations and Blaine’s presence made him happy.
Blaine asked Brad if he could use the piano again, sat down, took a deep breath, and began to play.
‘Guess we knew this was coming on
‘Cause you’re already gone in my head
You can tell me that I’m wrong
That you’re staying with me instead
When winter has come along and summer’s dead and gone
Is there anything left here to say?
I can put my arms around the emptiness I found
Find a way to make you stay
But I’m standing still, I’m standing still
As you leave me now
I’m standing still, I’m standing still
As you’re walking out
I’m just standing still
Never thought I’d be so strong
But pieces of me break so easy
What I thought would be the end
Is just the feeling that you freed me
Girl this ain’t giving up, it’s knowing where to stop
Knowing everything is over
I know my love is blind, I see for the first time
This ain’t gonna bring us closer
'Cause I’m standing still, I’m standing still
As you leave me now, yeah
I’m standing still, I’m standing still
As you’re walking out
I’m standing still…
I’m just standing still as you leave me now
I’m just standing still
When winter's come along and summer's dead and gone
Is there anything left here to say?
I can put my arms around the emptiness I found
Find a way to make you stay
I’m standing still, I’m standing still
As you leave me now, yeah
I’m standing still, I’m standing still
As you’re walking out
I’m just standing still
I'm just standing still
Yeah, I'm just standing still
Just standing still’
Everyone could see the hurt and pain in Blaine’s eyes, but only he and Kurt knew what caused it. Kurt was filled with guilt, and had to get out of there. He made his excuses and almost ran out of the choir room, leaving the Glee club bemused and Blaine on the edge of tears.
The next month went by quickly. Kurt only saw Blaine at Glee rehearsal, but they didn’t have to talk. Nobody mentioned the awkwardness between them, and they tried not to think of it themselves. They kept their distance from each other, and it was fine that way. Well, the mask Kurt put on to the rest of the world was fine about it. Kurt hadn’t got over Blaine. He couldn’t. Every time the boy opened his mouth, Kurt broke a little, but also fell in love with him a little more. He hadn’t used that word to describe what they had –love- but that’s what it was. He knew the feelings he was having were wrong, but seeing as though Blaine had a solo in Nationals, he sang almost every rehearsal, so it was pretty difficult to get away from him. The week before Nationals, Kurt and Will decided between themselves that Kurt would come to the final rehearsals, but would accompany them to Nationals, so Kurt would be almost as clueless as the judges about their set list, so he could give the group some feedback, before they got the results. This felt like a god send for Kurt, it meant he didn’t have to see Blaine for a whole week, and hopefully this meant he could get over him.
The week passed in a bustle of papers and marking, leaving Kurt no time to think about Blaine, or anything else for that matter. Nationals were in LA that year, so he told Will that he’d make his own way there so he could visit Mercedes and Sam, and agreed to meet the club beforehand to wish them all luck.
He got to the entranceway of the theatre Nationals were being held in, and quickly saw New Directions. He rushed up to them, and found that they were going on last, which was both good and bad. It meant that they were still fresh in the judges’ mind, but it also meant that they had to be good to follow everyone else up. They walked into the theatre, found their allotted seats and sat down. Kurt almost sat down next to Blaine, but he excused himself for the bathroom, leaving Blaine sat next to Will.
When he got back, the first group had already taken to the stage. Their singing wasn’t all that good, but their choreography was. The rest of the groups, Kurt thought, were amazing. New Directions had a lot to contend with.
When it finally came around to their turn, everyone was buzzing with energy, adrenaline and nerves.
“Okay guys, you’re on now, you’re going to kill it!” Mr Schue said, before the whole group walked on stage. Their first number was a group number, with just about everyone having a solo. The lights went down, the music started up, and a spotlight fell onto Olly, who had the first solo.
‘I did my best to notice
When the call came down the line
Up to the platform of surrender
I was brought but I was kind
And sometimes I get nervous
When I see an open door
Close your eyes, clear your heart
Cut the cord
Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?
Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Hear my regards to soul and romance
They always did the best they could
And so long to devotion
You taught me everything I know
Wave goodbye, wish me well
You've gotta let me go
Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?
Will your system be alright
When you dream of home tonight
There is no message we're receiving
Let me know, is your heart still beating?
Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?
You've gotta let me know
Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?’
Throughout the song, they gained more energy, and began to move across the stage. By the end, most of the audience were on their feet in a standing ovation.
The next song was another group song, as they were only told that they had to have at least one original song, and one solo.
‘Teenage dreams in a teenage circus
Running around like a clown on purpose
Who gives a damn about the family you come from?
No giving up when you're young and you want some
Running around again
Running for running
Waking up
In the midday sun
What's to live for?
You could see what I've done
Staring at emotion
In the light of day
I was running
From the things that you'd say
We are not what you think we are
We are golden, we are golden.
We are not what you think we are
We are golden, we are golden.
Teenage dreams in a teenage circus
Running around like a clown on purpose
Who gives a damn about the family you come from?
No giving up when you're young and you want some
Running around again
Running for running
Running around again
Running for running
I was a boy
At an open door
Why you staring
Do you still think that you know?
Looking for treasure
In the things that you threw
Like a magpie
I live for glitter, not you
We are not what you think we are
We are golden, we are golden.
We are not what you think we are
We are golden, we are golden.
Teenage dreams in a teenage circus
Running around like a clown on purpose
Who gives a damn about the family you come from
No giving up when you're young and you want some
Now I'm sitting alone
I'm finally looking around
Left here on my own
I'm gonna hurt myself
Maybe losing my mind
I'm still wondering why
Had to let the world let it bleed dry
We are not what you think we are
We are not what you think we are
We are not what you think we are
We are golden, we are golden
Teenage dreams in a teenage circus
Running around like a clown on purpose
Who gives a damn about the family you come from
No giving up when you're young and you want some
Running around again
Running for running
Running around again
Running for running
We are not what you think we are
We are golden, we are golden.’
There was more complex choreography for that song, and Kurt thought it was amazing how they achieved it in just over two weeks, every step was flawless, yet it looked relaxed and not too showy. The Glee club cleared the stage, and a piano was pushed into the centre. Kurt gasped inaudibly as Blaine walked back on stage, and sat at the piano. He wasn’t expecting that.
-
Blaine’s fingers ghosted over the keys and began to play. He was more nervous than ever before, not just because he was performing alone for Nationals, but because he had written the song himself and all the others had been so good. He took a deep breath, and sang.
‘Say, wasn’t that a funny day?
Gee, you had a funny way—a way about you.
A kind of glow of something new.
Sure—I’ll admit that I’m the same.
Another sucker for a game kids like to play,
And the rules they like to use.
Don’t you want the way I feel?
Don’t you want the way I feel?
Don’t you want the way I feel for you?
The sun: telling me the night is done.
Well I refuse to let it stop our fun.
Close your eyes—we’ll make it dark again
And kiss; there’s a thought, so how ’bout this?
Let’s pretend that both our lips are made of candy.
After all, we need sweets every now and then.
Don’t you want the way I feel?
Don’t you want the way I feel?
Don’t you want the way I feel for you?
Here we are: two strangers in a very different place.
Who knows what could happen to us next?
Here we are with nothing but this little spark.
It’s too cold outside to lay this fire to rest.
Blaine made eye contact with Kurt, and held it. He wanted to let Kurt know how he felt, but how he had imagined how perfect they could be together, and how they couldn’t be together.
Go? How so very apropos:
A goodbye just as soon as I said ‘Hello.”
Well alright, I’ll see you later.
It’s true: it’s just a fantasy for two.
But what’s the difference if it all could have been true?
I guess this is better.
Was it better? Was ignoring each other, avoiding each other, hurting each other, better?
But don’t you want the way I feel?
Don’t you want the way I feel?
Don’t you want the way I feel for you?
Oh, don’t you want the way I feel?
Don’t you want the way I feel?
Don’t you want the way I feel for you?
Don’t you want the way that I feel for you?’
Blaine got a standing ovation. The crowd were in awe of the emotion and how simplistic yet spectacular the song was. He hadn’t lost eye contact with Kurt though, and he could see that Kurt had tears in his eyes. Did he understand? He hoped so.
Blaine didn’t have a chance to see Kurt before the results were posted. Sophie (who was still slightly annoyed with Blaine that he got the solo and she didn’t) rushed up to the board, and the next thing everyone heard was her screaming.
“WE WON!!!!!! MR.SCHUE, MR. H, EVERYONE, WE WON!!!!”
New Directions burst into cheers and started hugging everyone around them. Blaine ran and hugged Kurt, but then pulled away quickly.
“Sorry Mr. H.” He said awkwardly, before being pulled away to celebrate with Mike & Tina.
------------
Kurt was elated, they’d won Nationals. Well, New Directions had. In the back of his mind, he was still thinking about what Blaine meant by the song. He knew it was directed at him, but he didn’t understand what he meant. That it was better that they weren’t together? That Blaine thought Kurt didn’t want him? The thoughts were dragged to the front of his mind when Blaine collided with him in a hug.
The final fortnight of school went by surprisingly quickly. Blaine only saw Mr. Hummel once, and that was from afar, so they didn’t talk. Blaine hadn’t gone to see Mr. H about the song, and Mr. H hadn’t been to see him, so Blaine figured he didn’t care. That Mr. H had moved on, so he should too.
But Kurt hadn’t moved on. He went to sleep thinking about Blaine most nights, dreamed about Blaine most night, and he had even jerked off thinking about Blaine a few times. However hard he tried, he couldn’t get over Blaine. He figured that it would be easier when school finished, he would move to NYC like he had always dreamed, and would find a place to work. He’d already started looking for positions, and a few permanent ones had popped up which looked appealing.
By the middle of the holidays, Kurt had had 4 job interviews, and had accepted one of them, in a high school in Manhattan. He’d be an English teacher and their Glee club director, so he basically got his ideal job. Living in New York also meant he got to see Rachel more. She was now the lead in some off-Broadway show after graduating from NYADA, but she was getting there. He, surprisingly rapidly, found himself an affordable apartment 10 blocks away from the school he was teaching at, and had found a place two blocks away for his coffee.
His coffee shop, Roasters, was surprisingly busy when he went in the next week. He ordered his usual, and looked around for a place to sit. The only place was on a table in the corner, which was already occupied by one person who looked extremely invested in a book.
“Excuse me, is this seat taken?” he said to the gent.
“Oh, no, it’s…” he paused when he looked up. “Mr. Hummel?”
“Blaine?”
“Sorry I’ll just go.” Kurt said, turning round to find another seat, hoping someone had left.
“No, no, it’s fine, you can sit. I’d be nice to talk.” Blaine said hurriedly, taking his satchel off the now-unoccupied seat.
“Oh, thanks.” Kurt said quietly “How are you?”
“I’m good thanks, I got into Juilliard for music.”
Kurt’s head shot up. “Juilliard?! Oh my god. Congratulations Blaine!” He was genuinely hapy for his ex-student.
“Thanks Mr.Hummel. And what brings you to New York?”
“Call me Kurt, Blaine, I’m not your teacher anymore. And I live here. I got a job in a school in Manhattan, teaching English and directing their Glee Club.”
“Oh, awesome Kurt!”
There was a comfortable silence between them.
“Do you…”
“Is there…” Both started to talk at the same time.
“Go ahead.” Kurt said, chuckling.
“I was just going to ask if you had a boyfriend.” Blaine said in a shy and hushed tone.
Kurt was taken aback by the question.
“I. Er. I was going to ask you the same thing. No, I don’t. I’m assuming you don’t either?” Kurt replied lightly.
“No, I don’t. I haven’t got over you enough to let anyone in. I. I fell in love with you Kurt.”
Neither spoke.
“I’m sorry, I’ve probably crossed some sort of boundary, I’ll just go. Congrats on the new job Kurt.” Blaine said, starting to stand up.
“No!” Kurt said hurriedly. “If we’re being honest, I fell in love with you too Blaine, I couldn’t get over you, however hard I tried.”
They looked at each other intensely.
“How about we start over?” Blaine suggested. “You’re not my teacher any more, there’s nothing to stop us, and we both still have feelings for one another?”
“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel, I’m a teacher at Baruch High School, I love Broadway and am addicted to coffee.”
Blaine giggled, and went along with him.
“Hi, I’m Blaine Anderson, I’m music student at Juilliard, I love Harry Potter and am also addicted to coffee.”
Blaine put his hand on the table, palm toward Kurt. Kurt grasped it and interlinked their fingers, not missing the fireworks when they touched.
End Notes: Poem is Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116.Songs are :-Defying Gravity – Wicked.Teenage Dream – Katy Perry (Darren Criss’ slowed down, piano version obviously) Standing Still – Roman LobHuman – The KillersWe Are Golden – Mika Don’t You – Darren Criss Sorry about the formatting, I can never get it right :/Please review, it would help a lot! :D