Blaine sighed, running a hand through his wayward hair. It was gelled but it was starting to come out from boxing and from running his hand through it. There was one reason why he was boxing more often and having to suppress his feelings via wrecking his hair. Kurt Hummel.

Kurt had come back into his life but he only wanted to be friends. Of course he did, Kurt may not hate him anymore but he would never trust him like that again.

He needed to sing something. Needed to get out his pent up emotions and one song seemed to fit everything that had happened. He stood in front of single mic and waited for the band to go through the very short intro before starting to sing.

I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is to bring you down
I'll bleed out for you

That's what he had done, hadn't he? Bled out his hidden self hatred until it rested right on the surface for all to see. Bled out his pain and suffering until it had fled his body like water flowing down a riverbed, leaving him stranded. But now he felt empty, he actually missed the self hatred, hated the acceptance that had taken it's place.

So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
And I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you

He had counted his sins. Every. Single. One. He had two lists saved on his phone, one was sins he himself admitted to doing and the other was what he had apparently done. The latter was basically a place where he wrote every homophobic slur he had been called, every name he had been branded with.

When the day has come
That I've lost my way around
And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground
When the sky turns gray
And everything is screaming
I will reach inside
Just to find my heart is beating

It's how he feels nowadays. Like he's running on nothing. Like he is just moving from Glee club to Cheerios to Student Council without actually feeling. He is a zombie who has finally worked out that the one heart he wants he can't get to as it's behind a concrete defense.

You tell me to hold on
Oh you tell me to hold on
But innocence is gone
And what was right is wrong

That verse hurt to sing, it hurt to think about it. It brought back that night. It brought back Eli C. It brought the cheating to the front of his mind and the reason why Kurt would never want to be more than friends again. It was like a more torturous version of Dalton but he didn't get to see Kurt every day. It was more final.

'Cause I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is to bring you down
I'll bleed out for you
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
And I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you

It honestly felt like he was bleeding out. For Kurt. For his parents. For everyone. He was being torn apart and he was losing himself. The once confident and dapper boy who could control an entire choir group with just two fingers now could barely control his own life. What the hell had happened to him?

When the hour is nigh
And hopelessness is sinking in
And the wolves all cry
To fill the night with hollering
When your eyes are red
And emptiness is all you know
With the darkness fed
I will be your scarecrow

He remembered that first night he got home after he had admitted to cheating. He had cried. For hours. He felt like he had ripped his heart out but he couldn't talk to anyone as it was his fault. He was hopeless that he would end up with the love of his life. Or anyone. He was dirty.

You tell me to hold on
Oh you tell me to hold on
But innocence is gone
And what was right is wrong

Except Kurt didn't tell him. Kurt was too busy. Kurt wasn't his and therefore didn't have the need to look out for Blaine. Kurt may be his friend but friends only went so far. Plus it was awkward, though neither of them would admit it, especially after Mr. Shue's failed wedding.

'Cause I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is to bring you down
I'll bleed out for you
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
And I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you

He wanted to bleed out love, compassion but it wouldn't come. He could feel tears trying to escape but he forced them down. Anderson's don't cry. Especially over their own mistakes and in public. He would bottle up his emotions until he made it to the safety of his room. Then he could let his walls down and be the real Blaine Anderson, broken and unwanted.

I'm bleeding out for you (for you)
I'm bleeding out for you (for you)
I'm bleeding out for you (for you)
I'm bleeding out for you

'Cause I'm bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is to bring you down
I'll bleed out for you
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
And I'm bleeding out
I'm bleeding out for you

Blaine finished the song and let everything plunge into silence. This silence lasted a few seconds before a booming clap echoed from his left. He spun to come face to face with Kurt Hummel.

"Still as amazing as ever" He commented, smiling softly as he took in Blaine.

"Thank you" Blaine mumbled, wanting now more than ever to leave. He didn't deserve Kurt complementing him.

"Want to go for coffee?" He asked and Blaine couldn't say no. He could pretend for a little longer that he wasn't bleeding out inside.