Kurt drew in a sharp breath and Blaine’s mouth opened involuntarily. Blaine’s fingers clenched against the bed sheets. His back arched momentarily and his head rose from where it was buried in the sheets.
“Is that—“ Kurt gasped. He had a hand gripped against each of Blaine’s hips. “Is that okay?”
“Yes,” Blaine breathed back,” Yes.”
“It feels alright?”
Blaine only nodded. Hung in that moment, their movements static and positions unchanging, his body wanted to writhe and contort in ecstasy. He turned his head and stole a glance back. “Does it feel okay to you?”
This wasn’t the first time they’d had sex. Their first time had been a tumult of emotions, confessions, careful hands, careful words, and eye contact. It had drawn out with every heart beat. It had changed them. When the wildness and frenzy was over and cautions quelled, Kurt had been the first to admit it: It had changed them. It had meant something to their love.
Back then, because Kurt was tentative and innocent, and because he was unsure, Blaine had dominated. Now, with Kurt’s graduation coming up, they’d decided to try it a different way, this time with Kurt calling the shots.
Kurt’s perspective on sex had changed drastically since they’d started dating, in so much as that Blaine could tell when Kurt wanted it. Kurt thought about it now. He considered it an option. He liked going past passive glances and kisses that remained shoulders and up. He liked feeling Blaine’s hand run down his chest, and lower. He liked it when Blaine touched his ass. He liked to touch Blaine; to let his fingers explore every inch of him. He responded to Blaine’s breath on his neck and didn’t giggle.
Making out had become something religious, but that was as far as they’d come. They’d backed off since the first time and not explored intercourse in its entirety again.
This time, Blaine had asked, and Kurt had been willing to try.
Kurt’s fingers ran up Blaine’s side. “Yeah, it feels good,” he said. He shifted his hips.
Blaine gasped again. This was something new in his life. Being in Kurt had made him feel strong and connected. Feeling Kurt in him made him feel warm and thrilled and complete.
“You’re amazing, Kurt,” he murmured as Kurt slid slightly out, then in.
“It— it’s not hurting you?”
Blaine shook his head. Another push, the fingers on his hips clenched and his own dug into the sheets. Kurt moaned softly, out, then in again. Kurt’s breath was short. Blaine’s shoulders flexed.
Out, in again, then all of a sudden Kurt pulled out entirely. The grip on Blaine’s hips went away and the warmth against his backside left.
Blaine let his hips drop onto the bed and he turned himself. His torso was already damp with sweat and he felt light-headed.
Kurt tore the condom off his erection and tossed it violently in the direction of the bin. He turned away from Blaine and sat on the edge of the bed, his knees clenched together and his hands shoved into his lap to try to hide his penis.
“Kurt?” Blaine asked, with concern.
“No. I can’t do it,” Kurt said. The pitch of his voice was high.
Blaine took a deep breath, then sat up. He put a hand on Kurt’s shoulder, then moved to sit next to him. Kurt turned slightly away like he was embarrassed.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Blaine asked.
“No. No, you’re great,” Kurt admitted, staring at his own pants on the floor.
Blaine kissed Kurt’s shoulder. His own penis was still hard between his legs. “Then what’s wrong?”
Kurt crossed his legs away from Blaine and hugged himself. “It just feels dirty.”
“What?”
“It just—it feels like I’m violating you and, like it’s just wrong and I just can’t do it.”
“Kurt! You’re not violating me—“
“It feels like I am! It feels disconnected and messy and I was looking at you and I just thought, I just want to cuddle him, not ravish him, and I just feel predatory and exposed!”
Kurt’s cheeks were flushed. All of his soft, pale skin seemed tense and sharing in the feelings of humiliation. Blaine’s heart was pounding and felt too high in his chest. Kurt was so innocent and romantic and delicate. He always seemed strong, and it was hard for Blaine to remember that he made himself act that way—that underneath the lofty glances and quick humor, Kurt was more delicate than Blaine even imagined.
Blaine reached behind him and pulled the sheets up and fixed them like a cape around Kurt’s shoulders. Then he reached around the front of him and pulled the sheets around, bundling up his boyfriend.
Kurt looked over at him with one eyebrow slightly raised, features on the edge of a smile.
Blaine smiled, and then he pulled the covers from behind up over the top of Kurt’s head. This made Kurt grin and he looked away with a chuckle.
Blaine wrapped both arms around his swaddled boyfriend and leaned his head against Kurt’s shoulder. “It’s okay. You know we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“I didn’t mean to ruin it for you. I’m sorry, Blaine.”
Blaine nuzzled his cheek into Kurt’s shoulder. “No. Don’t worry about that.”
Kurt leaned his head against Blaine’s. “Sorry I’m such a … terrible gay.”
“Don’t be silly!” Blaine moved his head out from under Kurt’s, looked him in the eye, then ran a hand up his cheek and kissed him on the lips twice, each time slowly. “Not only are you the best boyfriend I’ve ever had—“
Kurt scrunched up his nose and frowned at the joke, but he was grinning.
“—You’re also the most amazing person in the entire world.”
Kurt sighed, gave Blaine a look, then shrugged and said, “I try.”
They both smiled. Blaine reached up and fixed the sheet over Kurt’s head so it was formed more like a hood. “And you know what else, Mother Teresa?”
Kurt’s whole face smiled and he laughed and shook his head at that comment, pulling his head back and the hood out of Blaine’s grip.
Blaine continued, “Before? I didn’t feel violated at all. You know what I felt?”
Kurt just looked at him. Big hazel eyes catching a run up Blaine’s naked body and focusing on Blaine’s beautiful face which was smiling lopsidedly at him.
“I felt… how much I’m in love with you.”
Kurt looked away, then smiled, then leaned in and kissed Blaine deeply on the lips. The hood slipped off his head and although he was holding the sheets around him with balled up fists, his shoulders and neck fell exposed.
“I’m in love with you,” Kurt sighed and he finally pulled back from the kiss.
Blaine looked up and down at Kurt. “Well then,” he breathed, “Kurt Hummel, would you do me the honor—“
“Yes,” Kurt answered before he could finish and they both grinned and kissed before Blaine was allowed to carry on.
“—Do me the honor of cuddling with me and discussing Meryl Streep’s new movie?”
“Blaine Anderson,” Kurt answered, “You had me at Meryl Streep.”
Blaine pulled Kurt back onto the bed, kissing him all the while, and they snuggled together. Kurt untangled the sheets so that they could both be wound up in them and they pulled each other close, their faces locked in kisses and lidded glances. Their naked bodies were touching just gingerly—enough to set off fireworks in every nerve cell and rock them eventually to sleep in the warmth of each other.

END