“I wouldn’t have pegged you for the comic book type,” Kurt’s voice startled Blaine in the quiet library. But Blaine just smiled from his sitting position on the floor, surrounded by books.

“Neil Gaiman,” Blaine explained, holding up a thin graphic novel for Kurt to see. “Ever heard of him? Mans a genius…”

“Do I look like the type of person who reads comic books, Blaine?” Kurt gave a little laugh and a questioning look. “Although it may be your thing, I’m not 5.”

Blaine shook his head and spoke, it took a minute for Kurt to realize Blaine wasn’t just talking, he was reading from the pages he held in his hands, “Have you ever been in love?” Blaines voice was soft and sure, as if he read this passage many times. Kurt was almost instantly entranced at the boy he had yet to profess his own love for. “Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” 

Kurt sat down on the floor and crossed his legs, wanting to hear more, wanting to hear someone convince him that loving Blaine was a bad idea. “You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you,” Kurt almost nodded in agreement, he had been putting up those defenses since high school, being tormented for being who he was, it was easy to decide who to let into his life and who wasn’t worth it. 

“Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you.” The more Blaine went on the more Kurt was sure Blaine rather had this memorized and could recite it without the book in his hands. Kurt on the other hand understood completely at what this man was saying. “They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you,” Kurt smiled wide at this, remembering the first day he and Blaine had met, how much he knew in that instant that they were going to know each other for a long tine 

“And then your life isn't your own anymore. “ Blaine took a small breath and Kurt almost panicked, thinking it was over, he wanted to cry, it couldn’t be over yet, he needed to know what to do. Yet, thankfully Blaine went on.

“Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”  Blaine finished, looking at Kurt expectantly, but all Kurt wanted to do was cry because he has felt all those things and before him is this man that he had suffered these things for.

“That was…” Kurt was nearly at a loss for words, that wasn’t how he wanted it to end, he wanted the happily ever after. But despite it all Kurt liked it, “It was rather beautiful.”

Blaine smiled at Kurts words, obviously satisfied. “What are you doing here this fine day?”

Other than professing my love for you?

“I was actually here to see you,” Kurt said nervously, this wasn’t going to work, he needed a new plan. “I just wanted to um, see what you were up to, you know, I was bored.”

That afternoon Kurt was in his room, on the brink of obsession with Blaine’s words from earlier that day. He even went back to the library and took out everything they had written by Neil Gaiman. He sat in the middle of his queen bed and surrounded himself with Neil’s works like The Sandman, Coraline, American Gods, and Good Omens. He didn’t really know where to start, but he noticed The Sandman cover from what Blaine was reading earlier and picked up Volume 1, needing to hear some more.

Kurt spent the next few hours reading, making notes here and there. Shocked and in love with the writings. By the time he was through with The Sandman series and half way done with Coraline there was an unexpected knock on the door. Kurt’s eyes looked up lazily as Rachel poked her head in, “Hey, Blaines here.”

Kurt’s eyes snapped open to see her retracting from his doorway and before he could even push all the books off of his bed and hide them Blaine was in his room, looking at him with a smile on his face.

“And I thought you hated comic books?” Blaine looked at Kurt cockily, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

“I was actually hoping they’d help me out with something,” Kurt confessed, seeing no way around it. He refused to look Blaine in the eyes.

“And what would that be?” Blaine asked curiously. 

Kurt picked up the notebook on his bed delicately, where many hand written notes were scribbled in a hurry.

“You were right,” Kurt laughed, but still didn’t look up. “Neil Gaiman is amazing.”

Blaine nodded, taking a seat on the chair Kurt kept beside his bed, hoping Kurt would elaborate.

Kurt took a deep breath, “please don’t judge me, it’s hard enough to get the courage to do this. I just, I guess I just needed some convincing that this is a good idea.”

“Kurt, we’re friends, I’m not going to judge you,” Blaine said, honestly believing something was maybe wrong with Kurt. Kurt just shifted a little uncomfortably.

Friends.

“Please just don’t say anything until I finish,” Kurt pleaded, finally looking up to Blaine. “Please?”

“Of course,” Blaine responded while nodding to show Kurt he promises. Kurt’s eyes flashed back to his notebook where they stayed.

“There’s a few things that kind of stuck out for me and I’m just,” Kurt took a deep breath, deciding to just get on with it. “The first few, I actually hadn’t read yet, I just got them online,” Kurt took another breath, “Shadow had heard too many people telling each other not to repress their feelings, to let their emotions out, let the pain go. Shadow thought there was a lot to be said for bottling up emotions. If you did it long enough and deep enough, he suspected, pretty soon you wouldn't feel anything at all.” Kurt took a moment to gather what he was going to say, “That was me… before you. I had no way to get it out, and being alive and not feeling is not a way to live. And then I met you and everything sort of came back to me. I could feel again, I knew what I wanted again. They tore me apart, Blaine. Left me nothing in return for everything I had to give. But you made me realize that it was okay, that in due time it was going to be all right again.”

Blaine listened to Kurt patiently, not interrupting as promised. “I’m just going to go to the next one… “You know how is it when you love someone? And the hard part, the bad part, the Jerry Springer Show part is that you never stop loving someone. There's always a piece of them in your heart.” Kurt didn’t know why he wanted to share this piece specifically, but regardless he started explaining himself. “Blaine, you have touched my life in such a way that I don’t even think you’re aware of.  And if we part today and never speak to each other again, I would understand, but just so you know, you will always be there, hidden somewhere within me, reminding me of everything I am capable of.”

Kurt nodded to himself, thinking that maybe this was a good idea after all. So he continued with the last one, “Sometimes we can choose the paths we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all.” Kurt laughed breathily, nervously, “I actually read that one…” This was it…  “Blaine… I, I never had a choice, not to love you, I had no choice at all. I did have a choice to do something about it though, I’m choosing not to have someone else make this choice for me… so here I am… professing my love for you,” Kurt looked up to Blaine, unsure of himself or what to expect. “Blaine Anderson, I am in love with you.”

It was hard to decipher the look on Blaine’s face in the small bout of silence they were surrounded in. Suddenly Blaine spoke and just like before his voice was soft and sure, “I think I fell in love with her, a little bit. Isn't that dumb?” And even though Blaine was quoting someone, even saying ‘her’, Kurt knew it was from Blaine for him. “But it was like I knew her. Like she was my oldest, dearest friend.” Blaine slid off the chair, onto the floor and entwined their fingers, only encouraging Kurt’s previous thought. “The kind of person you can tell anything to, no matter how bad, and they'll still love you, because they know you. I wanted to go with her. I wanted her to notice me. And then she stopped walking. Under the moon, she stopped. And looked at us.” Blaine looked up from his hands and into Kurt’s eyes. “She looked at me. Maybe she was trying to tell me something; I don't know. She probably didn't even know I was there. But I'll always love her. All my life.”

Kurt didn’t really know who initiated the kiss, only knew how amazing Blaine’s lips felt moving against his own. How good and right it felt, but also as if suddenly the earth crashed and exploded into a million pieces, and their kiss was the force that was holding everything together for the next few minuets, seconds, years, he wasn’t even counting.

The first kiss didn’t last long, overwhelmed with feelings and suddenly they need air. The earth fell, their kiss was broke and they were left breathing heavily, leaning in towards one another, eyes never leaving the others eyes. They couldn’t even make out the ‘finally’ that Rachel had undoubtedly shouted from the other room, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t there. And then they laughed a little, the earth going back to normal, as if nothing even happened. But it did and Kurt felt it in his chest, in his heart and he knew that this was forever.

“They kissed for the first time then in the cold spring rain, though neither one of them now knew that it was raining. Tristran's heart pounded in his chest as if it was not big enough to contain all the joy that it held. He opened his eyes as he kissed the star. Her sky-blue eyes stared back into his, and in her eyes he could see no parting from her.” 

Neil Gaiman, Stardust