pigzheartsdarren
Aug. 5, 2011, 12:06 a.m.
Pretending
A different way that Blaine realized his feelings for Kurt.
K - Words: 2,742 - Last Updated: Aug 05, 2011 1,203 0 0 1 Categories: Romance, Songfics, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,
A/N – This popped into my head and I had to write it…The song lyrics have been tweeked a little bit to go more with the situation. Enjoy.
I was sitting in the coffee shop with the only friend I kept from my public school, Sam. I rarely got to see her anymore because she had to move to Wisconsin because her dad got a job up there, but once in a while, she would come back to Ohio and we could hang out and have a blast.
She was the kind of girl who would tell you her opinion no matter what. Even, if you didn’t care about it or disagreed with her completely, she was going to speak her mind and let her opinion be known.
This was one of the reasons we always got along. Even though I really hate stereotypes and judging people, those rules don’t usually apply when I am around Sam; with her judging yet completely honest comments on the people around us, I just die of laughter. I really wish I got to see her more and I really wanted to know what she was doing back in Ohio. She refused to tell me until we were together.
“So, I know you are wondering why I am…Oh my God, look at her…” Sam pointed towards this really elderly woman who was wearing possibly the shortest skirt I had ever seen along with some four inch heels. Quite frankly, it was hilarious, disgusting, and dangerous all at the same time. Hilarious because how often does someone see a woman who is at least seventy wearing a skirt that doesn’t even go halfway to her knee? Disgusting for the same reason, because honestly, who wants to see that? And dangerous because I was about ninety percent sure she would definitely fall wearing those heals and break a hip. Kurt would have had an awesome time talking about how awful her outfit was.
“Oh my God is right. What the hell was she thinking?”
“I have no idea, but her vag is about to be hanging out.”
“EWWWW, that’s disgusting!”
“Hey, I’m just keepin’ it real and tellin’ the truth.”
“I know, but that doesn’t mean I want to picture that…Now that’s going to be all I can think of and it might actually make me puke.”
“Oh calm down Blainey Boy. Now where was I? Oh yeah, Why am I in Ohio right now? Well, I’m in Ohio because we moved back here.” She smiled.
I was in shock. I wasn’t sure I understood her correctly.
“What?”
“I said we’ve moved back here to Ohio.”
I probably let out the loudest squeal of my life. I was sure people would probably staring at me now wondering what the hell my problem was but I didn’t care at all.
I jumped up from our table and pulled Sam into a huge hug. This was amazing. Now I would get to see her so much more often and now she would get to meet Kurt and Kurt would get to meet her. Oh my God, this was so exciting.
Sam and I finished up our coffee and sadly I had to return to Dalton for classes but first I had to find Kurt and tell him that Sam moved back.
I got back to Dalton and I rushed straight to the senior commons knowing that that was where Kurt would be. I quickly opened the doors and screamed “Kurt!”
He immediately looked up and I ran over to him and pulled him into a bone crushing hug and started jumping up and down with him excitedly.
“What are you so happy about?” he asked through his laughter.
“Remember Sam? I told you about her?”
He nodded into my shoulder since I was still jumping up and down and hugging him.
“Well, she moved back to Ohio! Now my two best friends are here and now you finally get to meet her!”
“That’s awesome,” was all Kurt said and that didn’t seem like him at all.
I pulled away from the hug and I could tell that he was happy for me, but there was something else I wasn’t quite sure of. He looked upset and I had no idea why. I made a mental note to ask him about it later when it was only the two of us and no one else around.
Soon enough, it was time for class and I had to leave.
The rest of the day passed and I went to go find Kurt. I wanted to see what he looked upset about earlier and I wanted his help on this stupid chemistry project I had to do and also being in his company would lift the stress of doing said project from my body.
I knocked on his door but when he didn’t answer, I figured he was back down in the senior commons seeing as how we are both either in our dorm rooms, the others dorm room, or the senior commons doing something warbler related.
I got to the door of the senior commons and I heard the piano being played. I don’t really know why I stopped in my tracks when I heard the piano, but I did. And soon after, I heard a voice start singing and I immediately recognized the voice as Kurt’s.
Face to face and heart to heart
We’re so close yet so far apart
Hmmm, maybe this was the song Kurt told me he was working on?
I listened closely to the lyrics, getting ready to give my all friendly critique when he was finished.
I close my eyes and I look away
That’s just because I’m not okay
I knew that Kurt always sang the emotions he was feeling at the time and once I heard, I’m not okay, I listened ten times harder than I was before.
But I hold on I stay strong
Wondering if we still belong
Will he ever say the words he’s feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all his walls
Will we ever have our happy ending
Or will he forever only be pretending
Will he ah ah ah always
Ah ah ah always
Ah ah ah always be
Pretending
Of course you will have your happy ending Kurt. If anyone deserves that, it’s you.
How long do I fantasize
Make believe that it’s still alive
Imagine that I am good enough
And we can choose the ones we love
Of course you’re good enough Kurt. Anyone would be lucky to have you.
But I hold on, I stay strong
Wondering if we still belong
Will he ever say the words he’s feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all his walls
Will we ever have our happy ending
Or will he forever only be pretending
Will he ah ah ah always
Ah ah ah always
Ah ah ah always be
Keeping his secret safe
With every move he makes
Seems like he’s not letting go
And it’s such a shame
Cuz since he feels the same
Why won’t he just let me know
Woah, ding! He was singing about me, he had to be. I was the only person that Kurt admitted he had feelings for. I told him a month ago that I just wanted to stay friends because I’d never been someone’s boyfriend before and I suck at romance and I didn’t want to destroy our friendship. And now he goes a writes this song? It kind of scared me, I didn’t know what to think. I mean, yeah, I cared about him but…
Will he ever say the words he’s feeling
Reach down underneath and tear down all his walls
Will we ever have our happy ending
Or will he forever only be pretending
Will he ah ah ah always
Ah ah ah always
Ah ah ah always be
Pretending
Will he ah ah ah always
Ah ah ah always
Ah ah always be
Pretending
Once he was finished singing, something in my mind clicked all the thoughts hit me at once.
He’s the only person I try to impress.
He’s the only person I am actually my true self around.
He’s the only person I tell everything too.
He’s the person in this world who I trust the most.
He’s the person who doesn’t judge me for all my weird quirks.
He’s the person who always brings a smile to my face.
He’s the person who I always go to if I need help.
He’s the person who I always have a good time with no matter what we are doing.
He’s the person who always sees the best in me, even when I don’t.
He’s the one, the boy I love.
God, why had I not seen it before? Why had I not realized all of this before I heard him sing that song? Why did I not realize that I cared for him in that way? Why? Why did I have to make this so difficult for him? Why didn’t I realize all of this on Valentine’s Day when he told me how he felt about me but I told him I didn’t think of him like that and I just wanted to stay friends?
Oh God…I knew he was upset when I told him I wanted to just remain friends; had he really been this upset for the last month? Did he really hide it that well? Had I really caused him to suffer that much in the last month?
Then something else hit me. I had continued to be my usual flirty self around him. I didn’t stop all the flirting I did around him. Of course, I didn’t realize that that was what I was actually doing. I thought I was just being friendly, but now that I thought about it, all those big hugs and all that time holding hands, and all that time walking shoulder to shoulder, and all those light finger brushes, and all those secret smiles we shared together during warblers practice or in class was all flirting. I had continued to lead him on even after I told him I just wanted to stay friends. And then this morning when I ran to him and hugged him and jumped up and down excitedly with him after I told him Sam was moving back to Ohio, maybe he was wishing I was jumping up and down and hugging him for the other reason?
Probably.
I felt like shit. He really must have been in a lot of pain this last month with me constantly flirting with him and teasing him and I was completely oblivious, still. Even after he told me how he felt, I was still completely oblivious to how I was around him, even though he fucking told me!
I’m such an idiot!
But then again, if I had become a different person, I wouldn’t have been the person that Kurt liked. I would have been some random guy who ended up not knowing how to act around him and probably would have destroyed our friendship that way. If I had become a different person, he probably never would have written that song. If I had become a different person, I never would have realized that the best thing to have ever come into my life was right in front of me all along.
I had to put a stop to all his pain. I had to let him know that I felt the same way…Well, he already knew I felt the same as him. He knew even before I knew, that much was clear from the song. I had to let him know that I finally saw it, that I finally realized I did in fact see him like that. That I did in fact, love him.
I pushed the door open quietly and walked in. The first thing I noticed was that Kurt was still sitting at the piano, and he was crying.
Now I felt even worse than I did before, if that were possible.
“Kurt, I’m so sorry.”
He looked up at me and tried to stop crying as I walked over to him and pulled him into the biggest hug of my life. He was obviously shocked that I was there because hey, I wasn’t supposed to be there and I wasn’t supposed to have heard that song. It was supposed to just be a way for him to deal with it all, but I was really glad that I was there and that I did hear it.
“Kurt, I’m sorry I didn’t see it before, I really am. This last month has really been torture for you hasn’t it? I’m so sorry.”
He hugged me back but with probably half the force I was hugging him with because I was practically giving him a bear hug I was holding him so tight.
“What do you mean?” he asked once I finally let go of him.
“I’m sorry for not realizing how I felt before. I’m sorry that you had to write a song in order for me to see how I truly felt. I’m sorry for putting you through so much pain in the last month and I’m sorry for not doing this sooner…”
I stopped talking and I moved in to kiss him. I moved fast enough to let him know I was eager and really wanted it to happen, but I also moved slow enough for him to pull back or get out of the way if he didn’t want to kiss me because I was NOT going to mouth rape him like Karofsky did. Of course, that didn’t happen.
He returned the kiss as best he could. I think he was in a state of shock at the moment and wasn’t able to comprehend what was going on.
The kiss was amazing. It felt like the rightest thing in the world. Nothing I had ever experienced ever felt so right and perfect and amazing. Out lips moved perfectly together once he was over the initial shock.
We didn’t break the kiss for at least a minute and the only reason we broke it was so we could both catch our breath.
While we were pulling away, we locked eyes and I could see love and compassion and still a small state of shock in Kurt’s. It was like he still couldn’t believe what had just happened. Knowing him, he was probably thinking that this was too good to be true and that he was just dreaming and soon he would wake up, only to discover that none of it was real.
Well that’s not going to happen because this is all very much real!
�We both smiled at each other.
“Again, sorry I took so long.”
“It’s quite alright Blaine,” he said, still with a big ass smile on his face.
The smile remained on my face as well as I asked Kurt a very important question.
“So Kurt Hummel, can I have the pleasure of being your boyfriend?”
Kurt let out a small giggle.
“Blaine, I would love to be your boyfriend.”
After hearing those words, I gave Kurt another kiss and afterwards, I could feel the smile on my face growing and pretty soon I knew that it was the largest smile I had ever had throughout my life because hey, I was now Kurt fucking Hummel’s boyfriend and nothing could be better than that, nothing! I was the happiest person on earth.
A/N- I hope you liked it. Review please!
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