Blaine’s POV

Disclaimer – Unfortunately, I do not own Glee. If I did, that would be totally awesome because that would mean that I could set up a meeting between me and Sir Darren Criss whenever I wanted too. But I can’t do that so I don’t own glee : (

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I hate being depressed! Especially when it just randomly hits me like this and completely ruins my day.

Here I was sitting in my French class and all of a sudden these thoughts hit me again. I hated it. Not only because it would make me unable to pay attention in class, but I also knew that these thoughts would last days and that will just suck.

I was lonely and I wanted a boyfriend. It’s not like I was dependent on having a boy in my life, in fact, I have never actually had one, but I want one. I see all of my friends with their girlfriends and they are always being so cute and hanging out with them and just being happy.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy for them, it’s just that I’m jealous of them because I don’t have that. I don’t have someone who I can share everything with and someone whose face can instantly put a smile on my face and someone whose mere presence just makes me happy and I want that.

I used to have that in my best friends, but once they got girlfriends, everything changed. Even though we always saw each other at school, it wasn’t the same because we would only see each other at school and never do anything outside of it unless it was Warbler related. They were always with their girlfriends leaving me all alone. I know that wasn’t their intention, but that’s just how I felt and I definitely wasn’t going to bring that up around them.

Sometimes I would tag along with one of the couples but I always felt left out because of all the inside jokes they had between each other and then I’d end up just getting more jealous and not end up having a good time at all and end up being depressed again.

In fact, this is probably why I am depressed now.

Last night, I tagged along with Wes and his girlfriend to go see some movie that I had never heard of and I don’t even remember the name of it now. All I remember was how they were cuddling in the theatre and sharing their popcorn.

I also remember their faces. The entire time we were out, both of them had the largest smiles on their faces. It was like someone had glued this smile onto them and they were unable to take it off, but in reality they were just ridiculously happy together and here I was, sitting next to them, staring at them, and thinking about how I had no one like that in my life and I probably never would.

It’s not like I didn’t try to find someone because I did, but Dalton has its limits. Sure there were other gay guys there, but I didn’t like any of them in that way. Sure they were cool guys, but they weren’t my type and they didn’t want what I wanted.

All of the time they are either talking about who the hottest guy is or just talking about sex and how much they want it and I don’t want that.

Sure I get sexual urges as much as the next teenage boy and I know that sexual experiences are important in a relationship, but I could care less about that right now. I want more than that. I don’t just want some random boy to hook up with again and again and end up regretting it later on in life if and when I do find that perfect someone.

I want someone who I can eventually give myself completely to and never regret it.

I want someone who I can hold hands with all the time and that’s all the physical contact we need to be happy.

�I want someone who I can cuddle and kiss the back of their neck and send shivers up and down their spine and vice versa.

I want someone who I can snuggle up against and fall asleep with and have dreams about that person and then wake up to them and a huge grin with come upon my face because I know that it is real and not just a dream.

I want someone who I can share glances with and be able to communicate fully with them and words aren’t always needed.

�I want someone who just being in the same room with me makes me the happiest person on the planet.

I want someone who I can sing and dance with and just have a great time.

I want someone who I can make a complete and utter fool of myself in front of and they won’t judge me for it.

I want someone who I can share everything with and then have them tease me about some of the stuff and embarrass me in front of my family and friends.

But most importantly, I just want to be able to find someone who I can love and someone who can love me in return for exactly who I am.

Yeah, but like that’s ever going to happen any time soon, I’m living in fucking Ohio.

Ding.

The class ending bell brought me out of my fantasy land and back to my lonely reality.

Awesome, I missed the entire class period thinking about what I want but probably will never have.

I slowly packed up all of my supplies that were lying on my desk but I didn’t touch the entire class and walked through the classroom door.

Oh yeah, now I have to go and fucking sing Teenage Dream in front of most of the school. Joy! Any other day doing that would make me happy, but today after having all these thoughts, it’s just going to make me even more depressed than I already am.

I slowly began to make my way through the Dalton hallways, taking as much time as possible. I really didn’t want to go sing at the moment, especially that song, so I was putting it off as much as I could.

I knew the rest of the Warblers would be mad at me for being late, but I didn’t care right now. I was going to take my sweet ass time getting to the senior commons.

I finally made my way to the grand staircase that led to the hallway of the senior commons. I stood at the top of the stairs for a moment or two just putting off the performance even more. The Warblers were probably really pissed by now seeing as how I was already late and I just laughed.

Finally, I started to make my way down the stairs.

As I was walking down the stairs, I felt a few taps on my shoulder.

I turned around.

Oh, hello gorgeous.

“Excuse me, can I ask you a question? I’m new here.”

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A/N – I hope you enjoyed this. Review please.