June 5, 2013, 6:04 a.m.
That's Why They Invented Masturbation
The five times Blaine fantasized about Kurt and the one time Kurt fantasized about Blaine. Based on the line from The First Time, what does Blaine think about when he's masturbating - Kurt, of course.
E - Words: 3,513 - Last Updated: Jun 05, 2013 845 0 0 0 Categories: Humor, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Cooper Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry,
1. Silly Love Songs
Blaine was in love. Tonight had been his second date with Jeremiah. They were going to get married and live happily ever after. Sure, he knew that high school romances didn't usually last. But Jeremiah was an adult, so that stupid rule totally didn't apply.
He crawled into bed wearing only pajama bottoms. Blaine grabbed the box of tissues off the night stand and placed it next to his hip. Snaking his hand into his pants, he gripped his cock. He stroked himself a few times, picturing his honeymoon. He and Jeremiah were in a ritzy hotel in New York City. His husband carried him across the threshold, blonde curls bouncing with each step. Jeremiah threw him gently on the king sized bed and lay on top, grinding their hips together and sucking a hickey above his collar.
Blaine's fingers ran through silky, chestnut hair. "Harder, Kurt," he moaned, his eyes snapping open, hand freezing on his dick. Wait. When did Jeremiah turn into Kurt? He shouldn't think about Kurt like that when he had a boyfriend.
He took a few shaky breaths and closed his eyes. Jeremiah unbuttoned Blaine's shirt, kissing a trail down the newly exposed skin. Blaine stroked himself a little faster. The rest of their clothes dissolved as they rolled over. "I want you to fuck me," breathed Jeremiah.
Blaine leaned closer, maneuvering Kurt's long legs over his shoulders and pushed in. "You know I was a Cheerio, right Blaine?" purred Kurt. "I can hold this position for hours."
No, no, no, thought Blaine. Jeremiah. He was thinking about his boyfriend, Jeremiah. Not Kurt.
Jeremiah moaned, "You're dick feels so good."
"Oh, yeah," said Blaine, feeling himself getting close. He reached down and yanked a tissue out of the box.
"When I come," said Kurt, as Blaine thrust harder and harder into his hand, "I'm going to scream so loud they'll hear me in Ohio." Blaine placed the tissue over the tip of his cock as he came, Kurt shouting his name.
Laying there panting, the aftershocks from his orgasm slowly faded. He sat up enough to to toss the tissue in the general direction of the waste basket and flopped back down on the bed. Blaine probably should feel guilty for fantasizing about his friend instead of his boyfriend, but Kurt was so gorgeous and bendy.
His eyes blinked slowly, heavy with drowsiness. If he was going to have a moral freak out over this, he was going to have to do it in the morning. Imagining sex with Kurt didn't have to mean anything, even if it was the fourth time it had happened in the last three days.
2. Original Song
I kissed Kurt. I kissed Kurt. I kissed Kurt. The thought echoed, bouncing around Blaine's mind. It had been perfect. It had been amazing. It had been everything. He lay in bed that night squirming with giddiness. He and Kurt were boyfriends. Boyfriends! Blaine was barley aware his hand was down his pants as he replayed that beautiful kiss. They had "practiced" for what felt like hours, but was only a few stolen moments before life and Warblers had intruded.
The way Kurt inhaled sharply when Blaine pressed their lips together was beyond sexy. Blaine had wanted to...keep going. He could see it so clearly - he said that he thought they should practice. And Kurt said, "I thought we were."
Blaine straddled Kurt's lap, enjoying how it made him taller than his boyfriend. Burying his hands in soft, silky hair, he slid his tongue into Kurt's mouth, only pulling back long enough to say, "I want you, Kurt."
"I want you, too. You're so fucking hot." Kurt's erection digging into Blaine's, they started grinding against each other, Kurt gripping Blaine's hips so he could thrust up. "We shouldn't," whispered Kurt. "Anyone could walk in and see us. It's so...naughty."
"Then we'll have to be quick." Blaine slid Kurt's jacket off his shoulders and pulled him closer. Blaine could feel his orgasm sneaking up on him. Kurt stiffened in his arms, moaning loudly, eyes wide in wonder as he came. Blaine jerked himself wishing it was Kurt's hand.
Shit. He hadn't even lasted long enough for Kurt to fuck him over the council's desk. He snagged some tissues and cleaned up. Blaine mentally shrugged to himself. He usually woke up hard. They could have sex in the rehearsal room before he had to get up for school. Blaine drifted off to sleep hugging his pillow, imaging it was Kurt.
3. Born This Way
Blaine pounced on his phone, even though it was late, hoping the incoming text was from Kurt. He frowned as he looked at the screen. What did Mercedes need to tell him at this time of night? Crossing his fingers that nothing was wrong with his boyfriend, he opened the text. There was a picture of Kurt, his Kurt, wearing pants that looked like they had been painted on and a tee shirt that read LIKES BOYS in bold black letters.
The text simply read - thought u should c this ;)
What the fuck were they doing at McKinley for Kurt to wear that? Kurt looked liked sex. Seriously. His hair was wildly messy as though someone had run their fingers through it, repeatedly, while fucking him senseless. Kurt once made a joke about a Brittany Spears sex riot. Blaine wondered if he should have dismissed the offhand comment so easily.
He needed to figure out how to get Kurt to wear that shirt next time they got together without sounding like a crazed pervert. Although, if anyone understand being turned on by clothes, it would be Kurt.
Pushing his pajama bottoms down his hips with one hand, he held his phone close to his face, trying to imagine what kind of song or fashion trend would prompt his insanely sexy boyfriend to wear that shirt. Blaine's hand moved faster. Confidence radiated off Kurt in the picture. Blaine wanted to strip those impossibly tight pants off of Kurt and run his hands up under the shirt. He stroked his dick harder.
Kurt lay sprawled across the bed wearing nothing but that shirt and a smile. He spread Kurt's legs wide, leaving him flushed and begging. Blaine slid in, nice and slow, and told Kurt that he loved him. And that he was so grateful Kurt had waited for him to pull his head out of his ass. Kurt panted, legs wrapped around Blaine's waist, meeting him thrust for thrust.
"I like boys," said Kurt, his voice low and growling. "But I love you."
"Kurt," moaned Blaine. "Oh, god." Blaine moved his hand faster. He should be on his back instead, yeah that was so much better, now he could see the shirt. Kurt bounced up and down on his dick, LIKES BLAINE stretched across his chest. Blaine tightened his grip, coming in his fist at the same time as Kurt came all over his chest.
Breathing ragged, he lay on his bed, boneless and limp. He needed to get up and take a shower before he fell asleep or he'd wake up sticky and gross. If he was going to have that kind of reaction to Kurt letting the world know he likes boys, maybe Blaine shouldn't ask him to wear that shirt.
Before he got up to shower, he sent a quick text to thank Mercedes and to ask if she might have more pictures or perhaps a video.
4. Rumors
Rachel was trying to do the right thing. Or stir up some drama. Probably both.
Blaine glared at the text, unsure how to respond.
From Rachel
I am truly sorry that I have to be the one to tell you this. I dislike being the barer of bad news, but because of our (tragically short) dating history, it is my sad duty to inform you that Kurt was at a sleazy motel with Sam. You may call me if you have questions. Finn witnessed this as well, but feels he must support his brother, even if he's a cheating jerk.
She had included a picture of Kurt standing outside a door with Sam and laughed. It did look bad. If Blaine didn't know why Kurt was there, he might have been concerned. Although, he would talk to Kurt before throwing around hurtful accusations. Grrrrr. If Rachel wasn't going to mind her own damn business, why couldn't she send him a pictures of Kurt looking all sexy and stuff, like the one from Mercedes? He'd jerked off to that picture more times than he would ever admit to.
Hell, he and Brittany were now the best of friends. She didn't question why he kept asking for pictures of Kurt in his Cheerio uniform doing stretches and Blaine had fun playing Barbies with her and her cat.
And didn't New Directions have anything else to worry about? He didn't understand how Rachel could think Kurt was messing around with Sam. He briefly wondered if she had confronted Kurt and how the conversation had gone.
Rachel would be all, "stop screwing Sam behind Blaine's back."
"Why would I fuck around on Blaine?" Kurt would say. He's the love of my life and he has a huge dick."
Blaine walked up beside them. Kurt wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, saying, "I want you to fuck me right now and show Rachel that I belong to you." Kurt leaned over the piano and said, "I'm ready." Kurt was suddenly naked and so was Blaine.
He really should be finishing his homework instead of imagining sweeping into McKinley and doing Kurt in the choir room. His dick twitched in his pants and he shifted, trying to relieve the pressure. Giving up, because he wasn't going to get any studying done with a raging boner, he unzipped his pants and pulled out his erection.
The New Directions girls evaporated and the boys cheered him on.
"Faster," chanted Kurt as Blaine pounded his prostate. He gripped Kurt's hips, fucking into him with hard, swift thrusts.
It felt good, stroking his cock, but this wasn't working. He paused for a moment. Kurt should fuck him. Blaine got up from his desk. He yanked off his pants, tossed them on the floor and grabbed a vibrator out of his toy box. He poured a generous amount of lube over his hand. Fingers slick and slippery, he pushed two inside, enjoying the slight burn. Kurt bent him over the piano bench, scissoring his fingers, opening him up.
"I'm gonna show everyone what you do to me," said Kurt. "I want you so bad I can't wait till we get home. I need to fuck you this instant." Blaine added a third finger followed shortly after by a fourth. Kurt pushed inside as he thrust the toy in his ass.
It was always a little awkward trying to find his prostate with the plastic wand. Several attempts later and he had the right angle. "Kurt," he moaned, turning the vibrations on to the highest setting.
"No one else gets to touch me," said Kurt. "I only want you, not Sam, not Finn, only you." Kurt sped up his thrusting.
"You hear that?" Blaine yelled at the boys watching Kurt own his ass.
Blaine thrashed on the bed, pleasure firing across his nerves. He cried out, "Kurt," sticky come splattering his chest. Slowly regaining his senses, he started dragging himself out of bed and into the shower when his phone chimed with a new message.
He texted Brittany back to see if she had any plans after school tomorrow. Apparently she'd found a picture of Kurt in his football uniform.
5. Prom Queen
Blaine had barely made it home and into his room after seeing Kurt model his prom outfit. That kilt! Sure, Kurt had leggings on underneath it but how fucking hot would he look if he went commando? Decorations and colored lights transformed the gym into a magical wonderland. He and Kurt swayed on the dance floor, wrapped around each other.
Kurt shook and shimmied, twirling so that the kilt flared, showing the barest hint of his ass. Twisting around so his back pressed against Blaine's chest, he danced in time to the music. Blaine spun him around and dipped Kurt, who kicked his leg up, flashing half the school. He stood Kurt back up, pulling them close.
Giddy at the easy access, Blaine reached under the kilt to grope his boyfriend's bare ass. He turned his boyfriend around, hitching one leg up over his waist, and grinding their hips together. He unzipped his fly and pulled his dick out.
He half turned Kurt around, lifted the hem of the kilt and pushed into Kurt's tight ass. One hand held Kurt steady and the other jerked him off, with only the one layer of fabric to keep his movements hidden. He pumped his dick, slowly, imagining it was Kurt's. Blaine wanted this to last. Kurt leaned his head back, wrapping an arm up and around Blaine's neck. Voice low and breathy, Kurt whispered, "I should wear kilts more often.
He thrust in and out of Kurt, tightening his grip. Fuuuuuuck. Blaine exploded all over his hand.
Christ. He was going to jerk off twice before they went to prom or he'd be hard the entire time.
+1 The first time
Blaine danced around his room singing along with Bryan Ferry while his boyfriend lounged on his bed. "Do you think I'm boring?" Kurt asked.
"Are you crazy? You're the single most interesting kid in all of Ohio," said Blaine.
"I mean, like... sexually. We are playing it awfully safe. And I'm just wondering. Do you ever have the urge to just go crazy and rip each other's clothes off?"
"Uh, yeah," said Blaine brightly, "But that's why they invented masturbation."
Kurt asked, "How often do you, you know?" He sounded hesitant, as though he wasn't sure he wanted an answer.
Blaine shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe twice a day? More if we're going out on a date."
"What?" yelped Kurt, nearly choking.
"Well, I mean," Blaine explained, "your so sexy and, god, those insanely tight pants you wear get me all wound up. So, sometimes before a date and usually after, I take a nice long hot shower and relieve some tension." Kurt looked incredulous. "What?" said Blaine, "it's either that or a freezing cold shower. And, yuck. Plus it doesn't really work."
"Do you think about me?" Kurt whispered, "while you - "
"Yeah," said Blaine, like it should be the most obvious thing in the world, because to him it was. He looked over at his boyfriend who was blushing and staring down at his clasped hands.
"What do you imagine us doing?" asked Kurt.
Blaine shifted, his pants uncomfortably tight. He walked over and sat next to Kurt on the bed. He stroked Kurt's hair, trying to be reassuring, hoping it was working. "Most of the time, we're making out on my bed. You say that you're ready. We get naked which is easy, despite the layers. And then sex."
"Do you picture me topping or bottoming?"
"I trade off," admitted Blaine, "although I picture me topping a little more often. I mean, look at your ass. How could I not want to tap that?"
Kurt chuckled and Blaine was relieved he hadn't screwed up. This wasn't exactly how he envisioned the conversation going about who was going to stick what where. Not that he hadn't thought about it, because he had. But when he did imagine it, he'd see himself saying, "I want to fuck you," and Kurt would say, "yes, lets do it now. We're magically naked in a field of lilacs with Sting playing in the background and everything is perfect!" Though, there had been the one time imaginary Kurt had said, "I'm fucking you even if I have to chain you to the bed first." And then Kurt had secured him to the headboard with their Dalton ties and fucked him through the mattress. He still had no idea where that one had come from.
Kurt fiddled with a thread on the comforter. "I think I want to grant our hands visas to travel south of the boarder." He looked at Blaine. "I'm not ready for everything, but I would like to take a shower with you."
"Okay," said Blaine, trying not to sound too eager. Getting to see Kurt naked? Didn't need to ask him twice.
It had been a little awkward getting undressed and in the shower. Neither of them had been quite sure where to look when there was suddenly bare skin everywhere. The few shirtless make out sessions they had shared were nothing compared to wet, naked bodies sliding together. Blaine desperately wanted to push Kurt against the wall and grind until they came all over each other. He was pretty sure he should at least ask first, even if his dick kept telling him to just go for it.
Kurt had one hand in his hair and one hand on the small of his back, holding him close. Blaine reached down and grabbed Kurt's ass with both hands, squeezing and kneeling the muscles. His dick was pressed against Kurt's hip. He gave a tentative thrust and nearly blacked out when Kurt pushed forward against him. "This is so much better than anything I imagined," said Blaine.
Kurt licked the shell of Blaine's ear. "Do you want to know what I think about when I touch myself?" Blaine's mouth went dry and he nodded. Kurt reached between them and wrapped his hand around Blaine's cock. He started stroking slow and steady. "I picture you saying that you're going to blow me. You tell my dick is beautiful and you want it." He thrust harder into Kurt's fist. "You're on your knees, hands on my hips, mouth sucking so hard your cheeks hollow. It's always so intense." Blaine whimpered and he could feel his orgasm building. "I ask if you're going to swallow and you pull off long enough to say 'yes.' And then I push two finger inside and imagine that its you touching my prostate." Why did Kurt's hand on his dick feel so much better than his own? "I come really hard. And you swallow until I'm so sensitive I have to tug on your hair to get you to stop."
Blaine cried out, "Kurt," spilling over his boyfriend's hand.
"How was it?" asked Kurt, tentatively.
Blaine surged forward, grabbing behind Kurt's neck and pulling him into a kiss. "Perfect," said Blaine. He stroked Kurt's dick and slid his tongue into his boyfriend's mouth. He leaned back a little. "Can I blow you?"
"I...no, I mean yes," Kurt stuttered. "I wasn't trying to pressure you. You were getting me all hot and bothered talking about masturbating and I decided to even thing up a bit."
"Your dick is beautiful and I want it," said Blaine, deliberately repeating Kurt's words.
Kurt let out an undignified squeak. "Okay?"
Blaine sank to his knees, grabbing Kurt's hips to steady himself. "I've never done this before, so hold still."
"I'm not gong to last very long."
"Before you ask, I'm going to swallow," said Blaine, wrapping his lips around Kurt's dick and sucking hard. He tasted faintly of soap and something slightly bitter. His senses reeled. He had a dick in his mouth. Kurt's dick. He knew his technique was lacking finesse, but his boyfriend didn't seem to mind.
Kurt was gripping the edge of the soap holder, leaning against the wall and moaning loudly. Blaine bobbed his head experimentally, going a little deeper each time. He didn't want to choke, so he wasn't nearly as ambitious as he was in his fantasies. Sticking his fingers inside Kurt would be a bad idea without lots of lube, so instead he traced his finger around the puckered muscle.
"Gonna come," hissed Kurt. Blaine continued sucking as Kurt whimpered in the back of his throat. A moment later and Kurt pulsed in his mouth. He swallowed, the strange taste flooding his tongue. Come leaked out the side of his mouth. Kurt gently pulled on his hair. "Too much," said Kurt.
Blaine leaned back on his heels, staring at Kurt, a big dopey smile on his face. Kurt held out his hand and Blaine used it to stand up.
"We should clean up quickly," said Kurt. "Water's getting chilly and I know you don't like cold showers," he added with a wink.
"Uh, yeah," mumbled Blaine, blushing.
A few minutes later they were dried off, cuddled up naked in Blaine's bed, and grateful Blaine's parents were gone for the week.
"Thank you, Blaine. Thank you for everything," said Kurt. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too," whispered Blaine.
"I think I'm ready for sex," said Kurt, his voice steady. "I mean, we had sex in the shower, but..." Blaine giggled and Kurt shoved his shoulder. "Shut up," said Kurt. "You know what I mean. I'm ready if you are. And we don't need lilacs or Sting, unless that's something you want and not just what you think I want."
"I just want you, a bed, and a few uninterrupted hours." Blaine pulled Kurt closer. "But when we're feeling a little more adventurous, I may have a few ideas."
END!