ALL THE TOYS

Or the five times Blaine went into a sex toy store and the one time he came out with something really good.

1.

Blaine couldn't believe he was taking his roommate Santana's advice and going into a sex toy shop. She has assured him that All The Toys was boutiquey and didn't have a bunch of creepy novelty crap like blowup sheep and low budget porn. Having been in several times (big surprise) she'd assured him it was tastefully decorated and would have just the stuff to get Blaine out of his slump. He been so swamped since he started college that he hadn't really dated since he and his ex had broken up last year.

The shop was exactly how Santana described it - well lit and not remotely sketchy. It had several classic black and white pictures of Betty Page on the walls and a few of guys in poses similar to the famous pin up girl.

"Welcome to All The Toys. Have you visited us before?" asked the most stunning man Blaine had ever seen. He was tall and skinny, lean muscles visible through the dark fitted shirt embroidered with the store's name. He had amazing chestnut colored hair, skin so pale it was luminous and eyes that seemed to shift from grey to blue to green and back again.

"No. I...uh...I'm just looking," stammered Blaine. This was silly, he thought. He knew better than to listen to Santana. He should go to the bar a few blocks from his apartment and pick up a guy for a one off.

"Well, I'm Kurt." His voice was beautiful. "The store is organized in sections. We have samples of the lube so you can see if you like the feel before you buy it. You can touch anything you want and the vibrators all have batteries in them. If you're interested in anything glass, let me know. We keep those toys in the case because they're a bit fragile. Just ask if you have any questions."

Blaine wandered over towards the vibrators and dildos, overwhelmed by the colorful variety. Santana had informed him in no uncertain terms that he needed a large vibrator to get the stick out of his ass. Blaine hesitantly picked up a blue one labeled silicone jelly. It was more flexible than he expected. Flicking the switch on, it vibrated so hard he almost dropped it. It was suddenly crystal clear why people bought these things. He was sure it would feel intense pressed against his prostate. He shifted, trying to derail this train of thought. He should be able to be in a sex toy store without getting hard from holding a vibrator.

Blaine looked at several others. Some were designed to look like realistic penises. While others had ribs, ridges and textures and came in a rainbow of colors.

Kurt walked over after giving him a few minutes to browse. "Any questions I can answer?"

"There are so...many. I'm not quite sure what I want," Blaine admitted.

"Are you looking for a vaginal or anal toy?" asked Kurt.

Blaine nearly chocked. "Anal only. I'm 100 percent gay," said Blaine. He probably imagined it, but he thought Kurt smiled a little wider when he said he was gay.

"Anything with a flared base is safe for anal play. Silicon is really popular. It can occasionally be a little more difficult to insert, although it's usually more comfortable than hard plastic when it's in place. We also have stainless steel and glass if you are interested in dildos. They're easy to keep clean and you can even wash glass items in the top rack of the dishwasher to sterilize them."

Blaine's eyes widened. "Do you tell everyone that?"

"Um, yeah, if they're getting items that can be washed that way. It won't hurt the dishes." Kurt looked puzzled. "Easy clean up is a selling point, of course we let everyone know."

He shook his head. "Sorry. My roommate suggested this place and now I'm imagining her putting her stuff in the dishwasher. I'm tempted to stick my toys in there before I use them to see what kind of a reaction I get."

Kurt laughed. "What do you think she'd say?"

"Probably that I got something that's small and boring and school has fried my brain."

"What are you studying?" asked Kurt.

"Music," said Blaine. "I want to be a teacher. And I occasionally sing at some open mike nights - stuff like that."

"I have just the thing," said Kurt, eyes twinkling as he picked up a black plastic one with a cord attached to its wide base. "This one plugs into most smart phones and mp3 players and vibrates in time to the music. Then you can enjoy Katy Perry in a whole new way," said Kurt, gesturing to Blaine's concert shirt from the last time she'd been in town. "And you can use it as a regular vibe by putting the end cap on it. There's even a app you can get for your phone with song suggestions and to make playlists."

Blaine tried, unsuccessfully, not to blush.

"This isn't dishwasher safe, but," Kurt said, "but you can use soap and water or we sell toy cleaner."

Blaine went home with a vibrator.

2.

Blaine had sworn to himself he wouldn't go back to the toy store just to talk to the ridiculously gorgeous Kurt. He kept his promise, faithfully, for two entire days. He'd sang at a local bar last night and the high of an amazing performance crashed when he had no one to tell. He assured himself he was just going in to share some good news with a sort of friend. That he wanted throw down on his bed and fuck senseless.

"Hello, again." Kurt greeted him with a smile. Blaine realized he hadn't thought this out at all. He should have come in with a plan instead of mumbling like and idiot. He looked around panicking, his eyes landing on the section devoted to bondage. "I need some restraints," he said quickly.

"Wrist, ankle, or something more extreme?"

"Wrist," squeaked Blaine. That wouldn't sound so bad. Maybe? He hoped? What the hell was wrong with him! Kurt worked in a sex toy shop. He probably had people come in asking for all kinds of crazy shit and they wouldn't stock it if it didn't sell. Santana had briefly worked at a lingerie shop and her favorite customers were the women who asked for "bras with the boobs already in them" or the ones who whispered "do you have crotchless panties?" while turning bright red.

Blaine had been able to justify his other purchase. It was for masturbation. Bondage gear was for sex. With a person you trust. And he definitely didn't have someone like that.

He watched Kurt's eyes lit up. "We've got some great leather restraints. They are lined with suede so they won't damage the skin and we have a few different colors so you can coordinate with your clothes or sheets. They come with a small padlock and two keys, but they'll work fine without the lock. Can I show you?"

They stepped over to the display. "Let me see your wrist," said Kurt. Blaine held his arm out. Slipping a black cuff over Blaine's hand, Kurt tightened it and showed him how to adjust the connecter chain and the correct way to use the locks.

Kurt tugged on the chain. "Comfortable, right?"

Blaine briefly considered saying it would be more comfortable if Kurt was using the cuffs to tie Blaine to his bed. He chickened out and said, "Very."

They chatted about Blaine's gig the night before while Kurt tried all the colors on Blaine except for pink. He didn't understand how Kurt could calmly discuss how Blaine's singing had gone while comparing which color restraint looked best with his skin.

Blaine went home with black suede lined leather wrist restraints.

3.

This time, Blaine had been in the area, sort of. His favorite store for sheet music was less than ten miles away. He hadn't needed any music particular, but it was fun to look. Especially if he could use it as an excuse to go visit Kurt. He was busy with another customer and there were quite a few people in the store when Blaine walked in. He looked around, trying not to stare at Kurt.

Of course, Santana had figured out exactly why Blaine kept going back to the sex store and teased him mercilessly. She even threatening to go to the store and ask Kurt out for him. That would be embarrassingly junior high. He was an adult for fuck's sake. If he wanted to ask an amazing guy out, he would damn well do it himself.

Kurt finished up with his customer and came over. "Hello, again," he greeted Blaine with a cheerful smile. "We're kinda busy today, but what are you interested in?"

"I was in the area and had some time to kill, so I thought I'd take a look around," Blaine lied. He had been hoping he could discreetly find out if Kurt was seeing anyone.

Kurt smiled. "No problem. I'll be back over as soon as I see how everyone else is doing."

There was a steady stream of people wanting help and making purchases. Blaine was disappointed he didn't get to talk much with Kurt.

After about twenty minutes Blaine admitted defeat. Any sort of personal conversation wasn't going to happen today.

Kurt came back over while Blaine was examining the cock rings.

"If you haven't used these before, you should probably start with one like this." Kurt handed him a black stretchy one with snaps on the side. "It's adjustable so one size fits most, it goes around the penis and testicles and it's less restrictive than the ones that just go over the penis. Because of the snaps, you can take it off whenever you want to. Just don't wear it for more than a half an hour at a time."

Three more people came in the store.

"Good afternoon," called Kurt. "I'll be with you in a moment."

"I'll take it," said Blaine.

Blaine went home with a cock ring.

4.

"Welcome back," said Kurt as Blaine came into All The Toys a few days later.

"I love the vibrator." He'd had to change the batteries twice already. "But I don't want my roommate hearing me using it. What's your recommendation?" Blaine asked. Santana had asked him why he was blasting his music all the time. He didn't want to explain that with the toy he'd bought, the vibrations were more intense the louder you played the music. Plus, it covered up the buzzing noise.

"I like glass," said Kurt. "Clean up is a breeze and you can heat it up or cool it down for some variety." Blaine pictured Kurt, naked, with his legs spread and inserting a warm dildo while jerking off, his pale skin flushing pink.

He shook his head to clear the image. "Ok, glass it is. Let's see what you've got," said Blaine.

They walked over to the glass case. Blaine was surprised at how pretty some of the pieces were. There were butt plugs with crystals in the base, dildos with designs swirled through them, and something called a prostate wand in pale blue. The lighting in the cabinet made everything sparkle.

"Everything in here is anal safe, except the ben wa balls," Kurt said. Blaine noticed the two glass balls with bright flowers inside sitting in a velvet lined case. Blaine frowned slightly.

"What are those for?"

"Girls only, so not something you need to worry about."

"Ah," said Blaine, after a moment's pause to figure it out.

"So," Kurt continued, "we've got a few different sizes. I suggest starting off on the smaller side and working your way up to the larger toys." As much as he wanted to listen to Kurt talk about sex toys, or anything for that matter, he finally made a decision. He needed to leave before it was obvious his pants were getting tight. He would like to pretend that it was from talking about sex, but Blaine knew it was all Kurt. They could be talking about anything and he would still be having the same reaction. "And I think I mentioned it before, but you can wash this in the top rack of the dishwasher."

Blaine opened his mouth to ask Kurt to get some coffee with him when the door opened and two people came in the store. Next time, he promised himself. He'd ask next time.

Blaine went home with a medium sized glass dildo.

5.

"Hi, Blaine," said Kurt when he came in a few days later. "What can I help you with?"

"I put the dildo in the dishwasher before I used it and my roommate's now put me on permeant dish duty. She refused to go in the kitchen for three days."

Kurt threw back his head and laughed. "That's hysterical."

"To you, maybe. I hadn't realized she could curse so creatively in Spanish. I don't think she realizes I speak it well enough to get the gist, if not the specifics."

They talked for a few minutes about school, when Kurt asked what Blaine wanted.

You, he thought. I want you to go out for coffee with me.

"I like my purchases," Blaine blurted out instead. "But, I need some lube to go with them." Blaine had gone through all the cheap stuff he had imaging himself bent over the arm of the couch and letting Kurt use the dildo on him. "The stuff I had was okay, but I figured if I was going to get quality toys, I should get the good stuff to go with them." Blaine mentally slapped himself upside the head. He was supposed to be talking about coffee, not lube.

"Come on over here," said Kurt leading him to the shelves displaying at least two dozen kinds of lube.

"Do you have a preference?" asked Kurt.

"I really don't know. I mean...," he waved his hand in the general direction of the bottles, trying to indicatie he had no idea where to start.

Kurt began talking about silicon versus water-based. "Water-based is smooth and isn't sticky, but it doesn't last as long, you may need to reapply it."

"Silicone," Kurt continued, "is thinner, but it lasts much longer than the other products. It's not quite as easy to clean up as the water lube. The only real down side is that it can't be used with silicon toys because it causes corrosion. We also have a variety of flavored products, which are great, but are a little sticky. The warming kind heats up if you blow on it. And everything we have is safe for use with condoms."

Blaine was starting to suffer from information overload. And images of Kurt smoothing warming lube on his cock and letting Blaine blow on it before blowing him. "What's your favorite?" he asked before he realized that it was kind of a personal question.

"Silicone," said Kurt, "Especially this one." He handed Blaine a glass bottle with a pink heart on the front. "I know it looks kind of girly, but this stuff is amazing." He squirted some on Blaine's fingers and encouraged him to spread it around a bit. "It lasts a really long time and it's unscented. It's great for anal use and I've heard its so comfortable, you can wear a butt plug all day and not need to reapply it."

The lube felt slick and no matter how much he rubbed it around, it didn't soak into his skin. This would be perfect with his glass dildo. And suddenly, he wanted a butt plug, too. He and Kurt discussed different types and materials. "You've got me curious. I'm going to try wearing it all day," admitted Blaine, after selecting one of the smaller ones.

Kurt's eyes widened and the color got darker. "If you have time to stop by, let me know how it works."

Blaine went home with a large bottle of silicone lube and a stainless steel butt plug.

+1

"Hey Kurt," said Blaine as he walked into the store. He had to make a move. Being a creeper was getting expensive and he was using most of his free time to masturbate.

"Haven't seen you in four whole days," teased Kurt. "What you been up to?"

"School, school, school, a little time to sing for fun and more school. And I wanted to let you know that it worked." Kurt raised his eyebrows. "I wore it all day and it was comfortable." He almost added that he had it on right now, but he bit his lip.

"The butt plug?" Blaine nodded. Kurt let out a breath. "Your boyfriend is so lucky," he said. And then he clamped his hand over his mouth. "I am so sorry, that didn't sound remotely professional."

Blaine waved his hand. "It's fine," he said. "You and I are friends who just don't know each other very well."

"Okay," said Kurt. "That sounds about right."

"And in the spirit of getting to know each other, I have a confession to make. I don't have a boyfriend," Blaine admitted quietly.

Kurt blinked at him. "But...you bought...restraints and a cock ring..." Kurt's voice trained off.

"I keep coming in here to ask you out," Blaine said. "I like you. You're cute and funny and I feel ridiculous because you're way out of my league and you've probably got guys lining up to even talk to you, but here's my number." Blaine handed him a card. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, so I won't come back in unless you call."

Finally, thought Blaine, I did it. He wanted to run a victory lap around the store. Except...Kurt stood, leaning against the counter, mouth slightly open, and not saying a word. Blaine's excitement at finally having the courage to fess up dissolved into disappointment when he didn't get an answer. Shoulders slumping slightly, Blaine turned to leave.

"I'm off in about twenty minutes," Kurt blurted out. "What are you doing tonight?"

"I have a coffee date with a super hot guy?" said Blaine, a hopeful, questioning, note in his voice.

"Not a date," said Kurt firmly, a mischievous smile on his face. "I'll have you know I am not the kind of boy who puts out on the first date. But you're super hot so I want to keep my options open. We can go out for coffee tonight and you can take me on a date this Friday."

Blaine's mouth went dry. "Yeah. Perfect. Anything you want." This turn of events was much better than anything he had hoped for.

"We have a new sampler pack of condoms," Kurt told him. "It come with glow in the dark, lots of colors, a couple of flavored ones and a new kind that claimed to be so thin, you'll feel like you have nothing on."

Blaine went home with a large sampler pack of condoms. And something really special - Kurt.

xoxoxoxoxo

They walked into Blaine's apartment and he could hear Santana in the kitchen. "How was the toy store?" she called. "Get anything good? I know you bought six more things you're never going to use rather than man up and ask him out." In his excitement that Kurt wanted to come back to his place after coffee, he'd completely forgotten his roommate would be there.

Santana had laughed her ass off when Brittany had found the cock ring in Blaine's room and worn it like a bracelet. He'd ended up telling her about why he bought the wrist cuffs, too, in case Brittany went in his room again by mistake. Santana was never going to let him live that down.

She walked into the living room, halting abruptly when she saw Blaine had company. She let out a wolf whistle. "Holy shit, Blaine. That's the best sex doll I've ever seen, cuz I'm sure you didn't suck it up and ask dream boy out. I know I'm a lesbian and all, but when you're done, I want a go. And don't you dare try to stick him in the dishwasher after or I'm gonna go all Lima Heights Adjacent on your skinny ass."

Kurt started laughing. Blaine turned bright red. Santana said, "I'm going...um...to...sleep over at Britt's. When I get back, I expect it to be quiet and no naked boys in the living room." She shook her finger at Blaine to emphasize the point. Looking Kurt up and down, she added, "You can be naked. You," she poked Blaine in the chest, "better have something covering up your junk."

"Santana!" Blaine hissed.

"Night Blaine. Night sex doll." Santana swept out the door.

"I'm sorry about her," muttered Blaine. "She's..."

"An acquired taste?" finished Kurt.

"I was going to say 'kind of a bitch' but that works too."

"So," Kurt said as he looked around the living area of the apartment, "I enjoyed the coffee and as lovely as your apartment is, I'd like to see your bed."

Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and dragged him to his bedroom. Kurt pushed him back onto the bed and straddled his hips. Grinding down, Kurt pressed his lips against Blaine's and kissed him, hard, pushing his tongue into Blaine's mouth. "I've been wanting to do this since you walked into the store," moaned Kurt between kisses. "You've been driving me crazy."

Blaine squeezed Kurt's ass. "I keep imagining you with the toys while I used them to jerk off."

Kurt groaned. "That's so hot. You have no idea."

Blaine thrust his hips up. He could feel how hard Kurt was even through their pants. This was better than anything he imagined while touching himself.

"I think I have an idea. Take your shirt off," said Kurt. "And where's your toys?."

"Box is in the top drawer," said Blaine, stripping off his shirt.

Kurt leaned over and opened the night stand. Pulling out the wrist restraints, he opened the cuffs and slid them onto Blaine's wrists. He clipped them through the slats of the headboard. Blaine's dick throbbed as he gave an experimental tug. He'd never felt so helpless or so turned on in his life.

"What are you into?" asked Kurt

I want it all, thought Blaine. "I want you to fuck me. I've got some fantastic lube in the top drawer."

Kurt pulled the box out and dumped it on the bed. He grabbed his phone and plugged the cord into it. "What do you listen to while you use the vibrator?" asked Kurt.

"Mostly Robin Thicke."

"All Tied UP," asked Kurt

"When I Get You Alone."

Kurt snorted. "You definitely can't leave all your toys in the drawer tonight." He rubbed his hand over the bulge in Blaine's pants. "We need to do something about this."

"You're killing me," moaned Blaine as Kurt pulled the zipper down oh so slowly. Kurt grabbed the jeans and tugged, pulling Blaine's pants and underwear off in one quick move. He tossed them on the floor.

"You got a head start," said Kurt, tugging on the butt plug enough for Blaine to feel the stretch, but not enough to pull it out.

Kurt took a little more care with removing his own clothes, folding them neatly before setting them aside. Blaine could feel his cock leaking all over his stomach. He wiggled his arms. He knew he could get out if he really needed to, Kurt hadn't used the padlocks. It was making him crazy knowing Kurt could do anything to him.

And Blaine would let him. Kurt was kissing up and down his chest, getting closer and closer to Blaine's cock, but not actually touching it. Blaine moaned, "Please. Do something."

"Since you asked so nicely," Kurt grabbed the base of the plug and pulled slowly, teasing and watching the muscles stretch to accommodate the widest part. Kurt stroked his nails along Blaine's thigh, lightly scratching. The plug popped free and Kurt set it aside. "You ready?" asked Kurt.

"Yes, anything."

Kurt traced around the ring of muscle with the glass dildo. "You're so open." said Kurt. "This isn't going to take much."

Blaine let out another moan as Kurt slid the toy in. "Oh my god," yelled Blaine as Kurt found his prostate with the tip and pushed firmly against it. "Kurt!"

"I got you." Sliding up Blaine's body so they could kiss, Kurt continued to work him with the wand. "I don't want you to come till I'm fucking you," Kurt whispered.

Blaine was breathing in short pants, not wanting it to be over. "Stop," he whimpered. Kurt stilled his hand immediately.

"Too much?" Kurt asked.

"If you want me to come right now, it's perfect. If you want to fuck me first, it's too much."

"We'll have to take care of that then." Kurt pulled the dildo out, grabbing the cock ring with his other hand and fitted it snuggly on Blaine. It took the edge off. He panted trying to get himself under control. Kurt was flicking his nipple with his tongue and gripping his hip hard enough to bruise.

Blaine pulled on the cuffs. He wanted to run his fingers through Kurt's hair, grab his ass and stroke his dick. "Undo me," Blaine said. "I wanna touch you."

"Then it's my turn," said Kurt. He undid the cuffs and put the vibrator in Blaine's hand.

Blaine rolled them over so Kurt was underneath him. Blaine grabbed the lube from the pile of toys a put a generous amount on his fingers. Gently sliding one finger into Kurt was heaven. He was so tight. Blaine almost wished he'd told Kurt they should do it the other way. He wanted to slide into that snug heat and thrust until he came, feeling Kurt's orgasm around his dick.

Kurt was so eager, it was only a few moments before Blaine was pushing the toy in, switching his phone to his Katy Perry playlist an turning the volume up. Blaine had one hand on the vibrator, one hand in Kurt's hair, blissed out from the kissing. This was everything. Kurt's breathy moans filled the room. He looked beautiful with his legs spread, toy inside him, just like Blaine had fantasized.

"Fuck!" Kurt grabbed Blaine's wrist and slowly eased the toy out of his body. "Slow down. I want to come inside you."

Blaine shifted off of Kurt to put the vibrator and phone on the nightstand. Kurt pressed himself against Blaine's back. "You're amazing," whispered Kurt right into Blaine's ear and biting gently. "Lay down."

Following Kurt's command, Blaine threw himself back on the pillows and spread his legs. Kurt grabbed one of the condoms from the sampler pack, tore the foil open and rolled it on. Climbing on top Blaine, Kurt lined himself up with Blaine's hole. "Please, Kurt. Please," Blaine begged. Kurt pushed in slowly until he bottomed out.

It was a little awkward as they found their rhythm. Kurt moved Blaine's legs so they were up over his shoulders and he could thrust in deep. Kurt was pounding him strait through the mattress and Blaine was loving every second of it. He never wanted it to end.

Blaine's prostate was being hit over and over. It was too much. Kurt wrapped his hand around Blaine's dick and jerked him off. Kurt came with a high pitched whine, shuddering inside Blaine. Three more strokes and Blaine came, back arching off the bed, painting both of their chests in sticky streaks. "You look sexy when you come," mumbled Blaine.

Kurt smiled, easing out of Blaine and they lay side by side on the bed. Blaine half rolled over on Kurt. Peppering Kurt's neck with kisses, Blaine sighed in contentment. They should go take a shower and clean up, thought Blaine. And with any luck, he'd convince Kurt to stay the night. They could wake up together and Blaine could top in the morning.

"I'm dead," said Blaine. "You killed me. Tell Santana to let my brother know I love him and he can have my guitar."

Blaine could feel Kurt shake with laughter. "Will you be my boyfriend?" Kurt asked.

"Yes," said Blaine going in for more kisses. "Yes, yes, yes. I was going to ask you after our date Friday. I didn't want to be presumptuous and break any first date rules."

"First date rules don't apply to my boyfriend so I expect you to take my back to my place after and we are going to have sex all night long."

Blaine's dick twitched at the thought. "I can't believe we used all the toys the first time we had sex. What are we going to do for an encore?"

Kurt hugged him and settled his head on Blaine's shoulder. "You ain't seen nothing yet. I work in a adult toy store. Wait till you see *my* toys."

The End! I hope you enjoyed it.

xxxxxxxx

Original Prompt

Born of a discussion on Tumblr about how there should be a fic where Kurt is a sex shop owner.

I'd really like to see something where Blaine hasn't had a boyfriend in a while (reasoning for this is up to the author), and his roommate sends him off to a tasteful sex shop to make a few purchases. Enter Kurt, stylish and debonair, and when Blaine tries to act like he does this all the time, Kurt begins waxing poetic about the benefits of one type of toy over another (again, which type of toy up to the author).

Blaine obviously likes Kurt, and keeps going back to the store and buying more stuff--"an excuse to spend more time with you" is my headcanon playing into the motivation behind this. I imagine that one day, Kurt makes some kind of comment along the lines of Blaine must have a lucky boyfriend, and then of course it gets awkward and it comes out that Blaine, in fact, is single. Kurt gives him his number, or they swap numbers, and then everything hots up and they use ALL THE TOYS.

Bonus Points:

-- Santana is Blaine's roommate, but up to author

-- Blaine wearing a butt plug all day long and Kurt knowing about it

Would prefer not to read:

-- Scat, vore, watersports, dub/noncon, any hard kinks. In my mind, this is fun and sexy and exploratory.