Kurt looked at his cell phone. It's been days since he last seen Blaine. After his surprise visit to New York during Christmas with Burt, they ended up talking. Not much but a little. Just a little "How's it going?" or "What's new?" They were walking a tight rope with their conversations. But at that very moment, Kurt wanted to forget it all and just call that boy's damned cell phone. Kurt made a grunt of frustration as he pulled his jacket over him. He climbed out onto the fire-escape as he had a few months ago when he called Blaine. He looked at the roaring city below him. This whole city filled with people. Thousands of people come here every day and he can't get one person out of his head and he isn't even here! He's back in Lima. Kurt leaned against the railing and sighed into the cold New York air. He smiled a little as he thought that this was a perfect moment to sing his emotions. Well, if Mr. Schuester taught us anything, it was how to show ourselves through music.

And if you’re listening I miss you

And if you hear me now I need you

Kurt let the song fill him. He heard it on the radio in a taxi once. Even though it wasn’t his usual style of music, he really liked the message and right now, it was the first thing that popped into his head.

Where did you go cause you’re not gone?

Everyone knows that something’s wrong

The wires are cut and I’m alone

Kurt started climbing the fire escape while singing the song, blinking back tears. The ice-cold steel rungs on the ladder were burning his hands but he kept on going.

I know we’re getting closer

I know you’re coming back for me this time, this time

Do you ever want me?

Do you ever need me?

I know you left before, goodbye

And it’s okay, there’s always another day

And anytime you want me

Anytime you see me

I don’t think we’re meant to say goodbye

But it’s okay, there’s always another day

Kurt made it to the rooftop of his apartment and he watched the sky above him. He saw only blackness. The dark void of hurt in his chest causing him to want to do something, anything. He felt like it would pull him in and there would be no way of getting out.

Your voice comes in and night is fading

I can’t believe this is so frustrating

Cause you never seem to understand

And you let me slip straight through your hands

And how does it feel to be alone?

Kurt’s voice cracked a little as he sang that last line. He felt all the pain and frustration and hurt flooding into his voice. This was his only escape. The only way he felt like he could control any of the emotions coursing through his body.

I know we’re getting closer

I know you’re coming back for me this time, this time

Do you ever want me?

Do you ever need me?

I know you left before, goodbye

And it’s okay, there’s always another day

And anytime you want me

Anytime you see me

I don’t think we’re meant to say goodbye

But it’s okay, there’s always another day

Kurt neared the edge of the building and looked down on the big, wide city below him. He let the tears flow out of his big, blue eyes and felt the pain come from deep within. He hasn’t been acting like himself since he’s broken up with Blaine. He was so confused and hurt and most times, he was pretending to be himself in front of everyone. But on the inside he was too hurt and frustrated. He just couldn’t understand anything racing through his head. Added to the news about his father and just seeing Blaine again, Kurt didn’t know if he could take it.

If you ever find what you were looking for

I will be waiting there

I will be there

Kurt broke down on the top of that New York rooftop. Sobbing into his hands, he sank down onto his knees and cried his dear little scarf-wearing heart out. He has cried before, especially lately, but he never really let himself feel all the pain behind the tears. He only let it out in little douses. But this time he let it all out and he felt like he would die from all this pain and hurt. He was just so lost and looking out into the big wide city, he didn’t even know if he belonged here anymore. He didn’t even know if he belonged anywhere anymore.

Do you ever want me?

Do you ever need me?

I know you left before, goodbye

And it’s okay, there’s always another day

And anytime you want me

Anytime you see me

I don’t think we’re meant to say goodbye

But it’s okay, there’s always another day

Kurt sang out these last two lines into the dark sky with all the emotion he could muster. He heard his voice crack on the last note and his voice receded once more into the night. He sat there, his face in his hands and just wondering how scarred his soul is, if he has one. Kurt felt a strange rumbling coming from coat pocket. He wiped the tears away with his gloves and reached into his pocket. He took out his phone. He forgot that he put it in his coat pocket before climbing up here. His breathing stopped when he saw the name on the screen. “Hello?” He said, tentatively, hating how obvious it was in his voice that he was crying. “Kurt? Are you okay?” The voice on the other line asked. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Kurt sniffed and took out a tissue from his coat pocket to wipe away the tears. “No, you’re not.” The voice said, quieting. Kurt wondered what he should do now. Should he be the one to jump head-first off the tight-rope and finally say what he’s wanted to say. Or are they going to keep on playing these games? “Courage.” He whispered underneath his breath. “Kurt? You there?” Kurt sighed and said, “I’m not fine.” Kurt could hear a sigh on the other line and he could almost imagine a hand running through dark, gelled down curls. “What’s wrong?” He asked his voice soft and scared. Kurt laughed into the phone. The sound empty and dark. “Everything.” He muttered. It was silent between both boys until a helicopter came over Kurt’s head and he squinted up at it. “Kurt? Where are you?” Blaine asked, his voice having a note of worry and concern in it. “On the rooftop of my apartment.” Kurt said, simply. “Kurt, are you-” “No, Blaine. I came up here to get some fresh air and to figure out what’s going on in my head. I would never…” He let his voice trail off as he remembered what happened during his senior year. “Kurt?” Blaine asked into the phone, voice shaking. “Yes?” Kurt breathed, looking down at the lights. “Talk to me.” Kurt sighed deeply into the phone. He smiled a little. This was the Blaine he remembered. The one that had talked to him when he was a scared junior, trying to find a place to fit in. The Blaine who reassured him through it all and helped him through all the hate and ignorance.  The one who had made a home in a dark, dark place. “Blaine, you comfortable? Because this may take a while.” “I have all the time in the world.” Blaine said into the phone. Kurt smiled and started talking. He spilled it all out to Blaine, everything he was feeling and everything that has been going through his mind. He got comfortable enough to even forget that he was talking to Blaine, his ex-boyfriend but to think he was talking to Blaine, his best friend. Just before Kurt finished talking, he took a deep breath and looked back out onto the big wide city of New York and he whispered, “Thank you.” A stray tear fell down his cheek. “For what?” Blaine asked quietly on the other line. “For reminding me where I belong.” Kurt whispered, scared to lose this moment of peace he found in the turmoil of his life. “Anytime, Kurt. Anytime.” Blaine whispered back. And the two boys just kept quiet for a while. Kurt Hummel looking out at the great city below him and Blaine Anderson looking out his window at the dark sky, each knowing where they belong.