Kurt was looking through old photos he had unearthed when cleaning the apartment he shared with one Rachel Berry, who was not here at the moment. Of course, she wouldn’t be here. Kurt thought as he opened the box. He saw tons of pictures that held memories of the New Directions and all the adventures they had together over the years. He laughed at the picture of everyone in their “Theatrically” costumes. Mr. Schuester was right. They looked like freaks. Kurt remembered how proud he felt of Finn when he stood up to Azimio and Dave. He smiled when he remembered singing, “Rockin’ the Boat” with Rachel, Artie, Tina, and Mercedes. He remembered winning the Nationals trophy. He felt like everything in his life had accumulated to something. All the bullying, all the abuse, all the hurt he felt was put into this moment when he felt the trophy in his hands and everyone screaming around him. The confetti falling to the ground. It was the best moment of his life. Then he remembered their first trip to Nationals. It was actually here in New York. He remembered their songs and he thought that they deserved to win. But Rachel and Finn had to throw it all away for love. Kurt sighed. Then a familiar tune floated through his head. He desperately tried to remember what song was in his head. Then it hit him. It was the song Sunshine sang at Nationals that year! Kurt decided to exactly remember how that song went since only a part of it was stuck in his head. And he knew that if he didn’t listen to the song now, it’d be stuck in his head all week. He opened up YouTube on his iPhone and typed in “Nationals 2011 Vocal Adrenaline.” He found the song on the first page. It was called “As Long As You’re There.” He clicked on it and watched Sunshine take the stage.

Blaine was in the Choir room on that Saturday afternoon. He asked Mr. Schuester to keep it open for him today since he wanted to get some work done on his songs. He hasn’t written for a while and he was glad that his creative juices were flowing again. He decided to take a break and look through the file cabinets that were lined up against the board. He found sheet music from all types of Broadway musicals and some recent pop hits. He even found their mash-ups in here too. He dug a little deeper and found a folder that said “Nationals 2011”. He remembered this. That was when New Directions lost in New York because of the Finchel kiss. Kurt had told him. Ouch. Remembering Kurt still caused his heart to seize up and he felt hurt for a little bit. He wondered what Kurt would be doing now and if he was thinking of him. Blaine shook his head and told himself that right now was not the time for thinking about it. He opened the folder and looked through sheet music for “My Headband”, “Hell to the No”, “Big-Ass Heart” and “My Cup.” Blaine laughed a little. The first few songs were always a little rough for every song-writer. But he made his way toward the bottom and found “Loser Like Me”, which he really liked. He also found “Get It Right” which he thought Rachel nailed. But then again, Rachel rarely missed a song. Then he came across this one song which was written in scrawled handwriting. It looked like Finn’s handwriting. He looked at the title. “Pretending.” He said under his breath. He skimmed down the sheet music and found that he really liked the song. So he took the sheet music and sat down at the piano. “I hope Brad doesn’t mind.” Blaine said to himself. He put the sheet music on the piano and started playing the introduction.

Kurt heard the introduction of the song and he closed his eyes for a moment. The lyrics of the song were coming back full-force to him now. He was remembering how blown away he was by Sunshine’s power and how this song was perfect. He started singing along with Sunshine’s voice.

All my life I’ve waited for the right moment to let you know

I don’t wanna let you go

But now I’ve realized there’s just no perfect time

To confess how I feel

This much I know is real

So I’ll refuse to waste one more second without you knowin’ my heart

Baby, cause I don’t need anything else but your love

Nothing but you means a thing to me

I’m incomplete

When you’re not there,

Holding me, touching me I swear

All of the rest could just disappear

And I wouldn’t even care

As long as you’re there (Pretending)

Blaine was singing along to Finn’s song as he played along. He felt the song knew exactly what he needed. He thought of a certain blue-eyed boy up in New York and he wondered if he would even want to hear what Blaine was singing to him.

How long do I fantasize

Make believe that it’s still alive

Imagine that I am good enough

And we can choose the ones we love

But I hold on, I stay strong

Wondering if we still belong

Will we ever say the words we’re feeling?

Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls

Will we ever have our happy ending?

Or will we forever only be pretending?

Will we always, always, always be pretending? (As long as you’re there)

Both boys sang their collective little hearts and souls out. Kurt was up in his New York apartment, surrounded by pictures and memories. But instead of looking at the video, he was looking at the picture of himself and Blaine in each other arms, laughing. It was taken over the summer before Kurt moved up here and they were just enjoying a day at the park. Blaine had taken out his camera and snapped a picture of them together. They had taken so many pictures that day. Blaine had chosen his favorites and printed them out. He gave them to Kurt and said, “So that you can always have pictures of us.” Kurt was looking at the picture and didn’t even care anymore that he was singing to Blaine. He just wished that he was there and could hear that Kurt would never forget him. That Kurt would always love him. That Kurt was so sick and tired of all the pretending that he was doing. And all the secrets he was keeping. What Kurt didn’t know was that Blaine felt the same exact way.

Every day and night that I’ve kept this a secret

Keeping secrets safe

Seems like no one’s letting go

And it’s such a shame

It’d kill me

Cause if you feel the same, how am I supposed to know?

It’s time to share how I feel inside

Will we ever say the words we’re feeling?

Nothing but you means a thing to me

Reach down underneath and tear down all the walls

Will we ever have our happy ending?

I’m incomplete

Or will we forever only be pretending?

And I wouldn’t even care

Will we always, always, always be pretending? (As long as you’re there)

Both songs finished and both boys just sat there for a moment. There was a strange feeling between the both of them. As if something was telling them it was going to be okay but they had to take a risk and lay it all down on the line. The only way that this was going to work out was if they both had faith in each other and the love they shared. Music had brought these two beautiful, amazing boys together. And music, right now, was telling them a way out of this mess. Kurt and Blaine let out a deep breath and then the connection was lost. They were thousands of miles away from each other and they were still lost in this whole mess. But for a second, the mess was cleared up and everything was okay. “I love you, Kurt.” Blaine whispered before he leaned against the piano keys and let the tears run down his face. “I love you, Blaine.” Kurt said, softly as he leaned against his headboard on his bed and let the tears flow.

Two talented, spectacular boys were lost in a huge mess that they both had made but they knew that one day, if the fates allow, the mess will be cleared up and things will be okay. But for now, they’ll stay pretending and need each other silently.