Blaine has always been more…open than Kurt is about sex, so he isn’t surprised when Blaine sits him down on Blaine’s bed for another one of his ‘I’m completely satisfied with what we’re doing right now so please don’t think I’m not because I’m suggesting this but I think it could be fun if we do this’ talks. Kurt is pretty sure it’s going to be about trying something with his flexibility because Blaine’s eyes had nearly bugged out of his head when he’d watched Kurt stretch down after booty camp that afternoon, so he sits down and watches Blaine patiently, a little confused when Blaine brings out two sheets of paper and gives one of them to Kurt.

“Yes, No, Maybe List to help you on your sexual journey?” Kurt reads aloud, a little confused. Blaine nods and shuffles closer to Kurt so that their shoulders are pressed together.

“I saw it on tumblr a few days ago and thought we could give it a try.” He says, “The idea is that you put each of the acts on the list into one of the columns and you and your partner then experiment with the ones in the yes and maybe columns. We fill them out separately and then we compare.”

Kurt doesn’t even know what some of the words mean, but Blaine looks excited and it’s not like Kurt doesn’t want to try new things so he reads the list more carefully.

“What’s tribadism?” He asks, sounding the word out. Blaine blushes and grabs a pen before crossing it out. He then considers the list and crosses out ‘vaginal fisting’, ‘cunnilingus’, ‘pegging’ and ‘strap on’ as well.

“Tribadism is more commonly known as scissoring.” Blaine says, going into sex educator extraordinaire mode, “The others were for a couple with a woman in them. I mean, we could use strap ons but we’ve got perfectly serviceable equipment with us already.” Kurt snorts at that and taps his head against Blaine’s shoulder.

“Okay. So, what’s a ‘golden shower’?” He asks. Blaine wrinkles his nose.

“Some people like to be peed on. Not me, but whatever floats your boat I guess.” Blaine says. Kurt makes a face and puts ‘golden showers’ in the No column. Blaine grabs his hand before he can write anything else down.

“We’re meant to do them when the other isn’t around so we don’t feel pressured.” Blaine explains. Kurt looks from the list to Blaine, then back to the list.

“But I don’t know about some of these things.”  Kurt says honestly. Blaine gives him the smile that means ‘you’re adorable’ before he kisses Kurt’s cheek.

“Wikipedia is a wonderful resource, don’t listen to the teachers.” Blaine ignores Kurt’s theatrical gasp at his apparent rebellion against authority, “There are also some sex positive blogs that I can link you to. They don’t have any explicit stuff on them and they’re really educational.” Blaine writes some site names down on the back of Kurt’s paper and then draws a love heart because he’s a sap.

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to but I want to explore this with you.” Blaine says a little shyly. They’ve been working on this. Blaine is trying to voice his wants and needs more and Kurt is learning to draw them out of Blaine.

“I want to do it.” Kurt says, “It’ll be fun.”

*

This is not fun. Not at all. Kurt did not need to see someone do that to themselves, or to other people. He shudders and clicks out of the window, adding the last word to the rapidly growing list of words in the No column. It was one of the acts he’d been working up to googling and it had been as worrying as it had looked. He wonders if that makes him a prude and then mentally chastises himself. He can almost hear Blaine’s voice in his head telling him not to define his sexuality through other people’s eyes. Kurt is still trying to figure out if Blaine is intentionally patronising or if he’s just really helpful and it comes out that way.

Kurt considers the list that he has and makes a few notes before putting it down. The list reads like this:

Cunnilingus

Pegging

Strap on

Tribadism

Vaginal Fisting

Yes

Anal Play

Blindfolds

Cock Sucking

Cuddling

Cuddling

Cuddling (in case you can’t tell I like this one)

Fantasizing

Finger Fucking

Hair Pulling

Latex Gloves

Kissing (almost as good as cuddling)

Lap Dancing

Massage

Nibbling ears & neck

Oil and/or lotions

Phone Sex

Sex toys

Shaving

Sucking on nipples

Talking dirty

No

Ball Stretching

Caning

Consensual Humiliation

Electro Play

Enemas

Flogging

Foot worship

Gags

Gender play

Golden showers

Group Sex

Medical Play

Multiple penetration

Nipple Clamps

Outdoor sex

Paying for sex

Pinching

Public Sex

Renting Porn

Paddling

Stripping

Spanking

Tickling

Maybe

Anal Rimming

Bondage

Cock Rings

Cross Dressing

Cyber Sex

D/s (But super mild)

Dripping hot wax

Exhibitionism

Ice Play

Making videos

Reading erotica

Role playing

Sensation Play

Kurt doesn’t know what to make of the fact that the dirtiest thing on his list is probably the blindfold thing. Or the lap dancing one. He’d blushed a lot when he’d written that down. He hopes Blaine is doing better than he is.

*

Blaine has run out of room in the yes column and has now gotten out his notebook and is writing in it to complete his list. His maybe column is near empty, and his no column is only short. He considers changing a few of his ‘yes’s to ‘maybe’s but Blaine know what he wants and this exercise is about trusting Kurt with knowing who Blaine is and what he likes. He knows that Kurt’s yes column won’t be very long, but he hopes that his maybe is, and that he can persuade Kurt to try a few.

Yes

Anal Play

Anal Rimming

Blindfolds

Bondage

Cock Rings

Cock Sucking

Cross Dressing

Cuddling

Cuddling

Cuddling

All the cuddles

Cyber Sex

D/s

Exhibitionism

Fantasizing

Finger Fucking

Foot Worship

Gags

Gender play

Hair Pulling

Latex Gloves

Ice Play

Kissing (everywhere)

Lap Dancing

Making Videos

Massage

Medical Play

Nibbling Ears and Neck

Nipple Clamps

Oil and lotions (no or)

Outdoor Sex

Phone Sex

Pinching

Public Sex

Reading Erotica

Renting Porn

Role Playing

Sensation play

Sex toys

Shaving

Stripping

Spanking

Sucking on nipples

Talking Dirty

No

Ball Stretching

Caning

Dripping hot wax

Flogging

Golden showers

Group Sex

Paddling

Tickling

Maybe

Consensual Humiliation

Electro Play

Enemas

Multiple Penetration

Paying for Sex

Threesome

Blaine doodles a little stick person smiling while he thinks about how Kurt is doing. He hopes that he hasn’t found anything horrifying while he was researching.

*

They don’t show each other their lists for a few more days, going back and considering them a few times before making changes and then changing them back. They don’t know where to talk about them because the website had said to discuss them in a non-sexual space but Kurt can’t exactly invite Blaine around to his house to discuss it since someone is always in the communal areas, and Blaine’s house isn’t even an option. Until it is, when his parents leave to visit Cooper in LA and Kurt and Blaine are left with an empty house.

They choose the dining room to discuss their lists as the memories stiff family dinners dampen any mood that they might try to build. Kurt fidgets a lot when they sit down with a blank template in front of them. He gets up to get them some water, and then puts his things in Blaine’s room before walking back downstairs and quickly going to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He isn’t nervous that Blaine will judge him, he’s just…nervous that he won’t be what Blaine wanted. Eventually Blaine comes to get Kurt and sits him down before pulling out his own list and telling Kurt that what matters isn’t on the paper, it’s that there’s anything on there at all.

“I’m not going to lie, my yes list is a lot smaller.” Kurt says nervously, skimming the paper. He takes out his own sheet and gives it to Blaine, nervously watching for a reaction. Blaine takes one look then puts the paper down and kisses Kurt softly.

“Thank you for doing this with me.” He says. Kurt smiles and kisses Blaine again.

“Anytime, handsome.” Kurt replies before reading more thoroughly through Blaine’s list while Blaine reads through his. None of Blaine’s no’s are on Kurt’s yes list, although he apparently doesn’t want to experiment with hot wax, which Kurt can live with.

“Some of this stuff we’ve already done.” Kurt says awkwardly, filling in the silence while Blaine stares at his paper. “So my yes list is actually smaller than it looks. Um.”

“You don’t want to have sex outdoors?” Blaine asks, teasing, “Shocker.”

“There are some places that should never get sunburnt.” Kurt replies. He knows that Blaine doesn’t mind about the outdoors thing. He’s had to get used to Kurt’s aversion to sunlight already.

“Before we start talking about these can we lay down some ground rules?” Kurt asks suddenly, “Like no being really shocked or judging and that one is for me because I don’t want to make you feel back because of that whole thing, you know, Your King Is Not My King.”

“It’s kink, Kurt.” Blaine corrects with a smile. Kurt lets out a little ‘oh’ of understanding before continuing.

“And I think that if something is in the ‘No’ column we shouldn’t have to defend it.”

“But we can ask about it.” Blaine interrupts, “There are some things on yours that I want to know about. I won’t make you reconsider but I’d like to talk about why they’re on there. You can say no, of course.”

“Yeah, okay. And, um, you have to stop me if I start babbling because that’s something I do when I’m nervous and I don’t want to go on and on and never get to-” Kurt stops talking at Blaine’s hand on his arm.

“You’re babbling, baby.” Blaine says softly. Kurt nods and presses his forehead against Blaine’s to calm himself down.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. You’re adorable.” Blaine says. Kurt bites his lip and kisses Blaine before sitting up and pulling their sheets towards them. Blaine scoots his chair closer and Kurt relishes the feeling of their whole bodies pressed together, countering the cold feeling of Blaine’s house.

“So obviously we agree on most of your no’s and I wasn’t too set on the dripping hot wax thing.” Kurt says.

“I just don’t want to think of what would happen to my chest.” Blaine shudders. Kurt shoots him a smile and copies out all of Blaine’s no’s onto the blank template. He’s still getting used to Blaine’s chest hair. He’d convinced Blaine to grow it out recently and he doesn’t regret it.

“Mmm, I definitely wouldn’t want that.” Kurt purrs before blushing and looking down at the paper again. “Should we take off the ones we’ve already done?”

“Like anal play and cock sucking?” Blaine asks. Kurt wriggles a little at the way Blaine says cock.

“Mmm.” Kurt says. He crosses out a few of the acts on both their lists. Blaine stops him when he tries to cross out phone sex.

“I want to try more with that. Like, maybe you could finger yourself while I listen? Or you could tell me what to do?” Blaine says. Kurt pauses and rubs a little at the part of the line he’s already drawn.

“Okay.” He crosses out phone sex and adds it to his maybe column.

“So we obviously have a few we both want to try so put those in the yes column.” Blaine says. He’s letting Kurt be the writer because Kurt needs control in situations like these. Blaine likes being taken care of.

“Just to check, the fantasizing is where we tell each other our fantasies, right?” Kurt asks, “Because I have a few I’d like to share but I don’t know about actually doing them.”

“I think it means whatever we want it to mean.” Blaine-the-mature-adult says, “And just to check with the, uh, lap dance. Would it be you doing the dancing, or?”

“As much as I like watching you move I’d much rather do the lap dance than receive it.” Kurt says. Blaine grins to himself.

“Okay. Cool. Awesome.” He says. Kurt covers a smile.

“And you’re doing the dirty talking because you know how, uh,”

“Speechless you get?” Blaine finishes, “Yeah. I like telling you all the dirty things I want to do to you anyway.”

Kurt blushes and pokes Blaine. He’s getting a little turned on by now and it’s not helping him write this list.

“I can’t do your maybes.” Kurt says firmly, “I won’t humiliate you and I don’t want to be humiliated. It’s fine if you do but I can’t deal with that. The others just seem painful and paying for someone comes under humiliation for me.”

“Remember the whole Your Kink Is Not My Kink thing?” Blaine asks. Kurt bites his lip.

“I didn’t mean to say that it’s not fine if you like those things but it’s really something I can’t do.” Kurt says softly. Blaine nods.

“Just try and be a little more gentle next time.” Blaine says. Kurt nods and kisses Blaine’s shoulder. “Also threesome is on your ‘maybe’ list so have you changed your mind, or are you still considering it?”

“I’m not sure. It’s definitely a maybe for me.” Kurt says. He writes down his definite no’s from Blaine’s maybes on the shared list.

“What about foot worship?” Blaine asks, “Is that a definite no or is it one of those things you just don’t want to think about trying?”

“Is there a difference?” Kurt asks, “It’s unhygienic.”

“And rimming isn’t?” Blaine replies, “I really want to try that on you by the way, so can that be a yes?”

“That’s different, that’s more intimate, and I guess. I’ll definitely try it if you want to. I reserve the right to shower obsessively before it though.” Kurt says, not looking Blaine in the eye. He tries not to think about the exact mechanics of penetrative sex too often.

They work through more of their lists more smoothly after that. Some are quick to decide-Kurt Hummel is not watching porn, thank you very much-while others take longer-Kurt is weirdly tempted by spanking, now that he knows he’ll get to spank Blaine. Kurt is more open after Blaine haltingly asks for gender play to be included after they discuss cross dressing. He’s a little surprised considering Blaine had gone on for quite a few minutes about how perfect Kurt’s ass would look in a pair of lacy black panties but he tries to be understanding and vows to research gender play more thoroughly when he gets home. He’s also convinced to include stripping in his lap dance and Kurt can’t really say no to Blaine’s excited puppy look.

Their final list looks like this:

Yes

Blindfolds

Fantasizing

Latex Gloves

Lap Dancing

Massage

Oil and/or lotions

Phone Sex

Sex toys

Shaving

Talking dirty

Rimming

Cock Rings

D/s

Ice Play

Making Videos

Reading Erotica

Role Playing

Sensation play

Shaving

Stripping

No

Outdoor sex

Ball Stretching

Caning

Dripping hot wax

Flogging

Golden showers

Group Sex

Paddling

Tickling

Electro Play

Enemas

Multiple Penetration

Paying for Sex

Gags

Medical Play

Pinching

Maybe

Threesome

Bondage

Cross Dressing

Cyber Sex

Foot Worship

Gender play

Exhibitionism

Nipple Clamps

Public Sex

Spanking

The no column is longer than Blaine’s was, and shorter than Kurt’s had been. Still, when Kurt looks at the yes column he feels no fear and the maybe column, it has been agreed, is for further consideration and isn’t concrete.

They don’t have sex that day, instead sitting on the couch and cuddling (their favourite thing, they had both agreed vehemently) while occasionally ignoring Tyra to kiss (their second favourite thing). They both feel vulnerable and a little raw from the afternoon. They had powered through it, not wanting to stop and acknowledge to themselves that they had barely admitted some of these things to themselves yet but now they are sitting on the couch and letting the closeness of their boyfriend keep them together. It hadn’t felt right to have sex right after their talk, and Kurt’s hard on had disappeared after they started a horrifying conversation about ball stretching and what it was as Kurt hadn’t gone past confirming it was what it sounded like.

It’s evening when Kurt leaves reluctantly, pressing soft, sweet kisses to Blaine’s mouth and then darting back to his car before he can convince himself to stay. The memory of Blaine’s adoring smile keeps him warm all the way home.