Blaine Anderson was used to performing. He hadn't been nervous for 10 years.

But right now, about to take center stage in the auditorium of the William McKinley High School, he had the feeling that all of his guts were being tied in a knot.

He remembered the days, when he would come here to sing with Kurt. They sang stupid, cheesy love songs to each other, but somehow, it had been perfect.

It had been a long time since he had thought about Kurt. Really thought about him. Of course he flashed through his mind every single day. But he seldom thought of what could have been. Only the present and the future mattered now. He hadn't heard of Kurt since they broke up right after graduation.

The smell of the white lilies was all over his dressing room and it made him feel queasy.

Blaine turned around to see Kurt standing behind him; his red gown decorated with accessories Blaine didn't even know the existence of, and one white rose.

"You ready?"

Blaine took a deep breath to steady his nerves and grabbed Kurt's hand, their fingers intertwining.

"I'm ready."

At the opening chords the whole of New Directions went onstage, Blaine and Kurt staying backstage for a minute, sharing a kiss they knew would be one of their last.

The performance was flawless, of course, and they got a standing ovation. After the ceremony Puck invited them to a repetition of the Rachel Berry House party Trainwreck Extravaganza, but they declined politely. They had one last thing to take care of.

For the last time.

They found themselves once again in Kurt's bedroom, where so much of their relationship had taken place. But this time it wasn't to explore new things, to make up for lost time or anything like that. This time it was to say goodbye.

They knew that, once they exited the room, they would be no more than friends.

After hours and hours of talking, hours of 'remember when'-s, hours of laughing, crying and memories, they came out of the room. At the bottom of the staircase, Blaine turned around. He looked into Kurt's pale blue eyes and was reminded of the first time he'd seen them. It was at the bottom of a staircase, just like this one. He smiled a little as their lips touched. It wasn't heated or passionate, just a sweet kiss, that would have held so many promises if it weren't for the tears that escaped the corners of their eyes. It was only when he tasted the salt on his lips that Blaine knew he was crying. They rested their foreheads together for a minute or two, just breathing in each other's scent. When Blaine pulled away he wiped the tears out of Kurt's eyes. He smiled sadly and on his way out, he turned around one last time.

"Goodbye."

Kurt kept strong but he could see it took him everything he had not to collapse right there.

"I'm never saying goodbye to you."

Tears streaming down his face, Blaine stepped into his car.

He drove away, away from Kurt, away from the rest of New Directions, away from his old life; to the Concrete Jungle they call New York City.

He didn't remember much about what Kurt's room looked like, except that it always smelled of roses. So even on the darkest of days, the smell and look of red roses would cheer him up.

There, he spent his days playing his guitar and singing in Central Park, gathering meals dollar by dollar, until someone found him and he went from Blaine Anderson, unknown quasi homeless man singing in the streets to Blaine Anderson, world famous teen heartthrob and idol. But he didn't know which of those lives he liked better.

From that moment his career had skyrocketed, to the point where, everywhere he went, there were hordes of crazy fan girls waiting for him.

He knew what they hoped for. They hoped that someday, he would see one of them and maybe even start a relationship with her. They hoped he could love them.

He smiled to himself, as he got ready for his performance. He hadn't loved anyone for ten years. It didn't matter anymore.

He'd had the invitation to Kurt's wedding, but he didn't go. It was still too painful; the wound was still too fresh. He had sent a card with his best wishes though, and he had gotten a polite reply back.

So that's how they were today. Nothing but distant acquaintances, ever so politely sending Christmas Cards each year.

And eventually even that died out.

He took a deep breath to steady his nerves, but he didn't have a hand to grab for support. He heard the man onstage introducing him, and the deafening roar of applause and screams as he walked onstage. He saw the hundreds of fan girls, not only on the chairs, but also on the steps and some even in the pathways. But he didn't see the one figure in the back, leaned against the wall, his hair perfectly coiffed, who suddenly stood up a little straighter. The slender figure was twirling one red rose in his hand.

Blaine put on his best fake show smile.

"Hello there, Lima!"

The screams seemed to be getting louder and louder.

He sat down at the big Steinway in the middle of the stage, carefully adjusting the microphone as he quickly played a number of scales to warm up.

"Alright, so this song is for someone whom I used to love."

Lie, lie, and lie. I still love him. So much it hurts sometimes.

"But, we had to break up because I went to New York."

A chorus of awww's came rising up from the crowd.

Yeah, act as if you care. You love to hear I am single.

"Aw, don't be sad, if I didn't, you wouldn't have gotten me!"

"Anyway, the person I'm talking of was from Lima too, so, who knows, that person might be with us right now."

His eyes scanned the auditorium hopefully as the man in the back corner turned his face to the wall.

Blaine always tried to stay very vague about the gender of this person, to not completely crush so many teen hearts. Besides, coming out would not be good for his publicity so…

As soon as the laughs and the murmurs grew quieter he started playing the keys softly, until the whole room was completely silent and spellbound by the music.

I heard that you're settled down

That you found a boy and you're married now

I heard that your dreams came true

Guess he gave you things,

I didn't give to you

The person in the back turned his piercing blue gaze back to the stage, where Blaine was now completely encased in his own little cocoon of notes and words, completely shut of from the outside world.

The man in the back was looking at it with a look of wonder and regret on his face.

Old friend

Why are you so shy

It ain't like you to hold back

Or hide from the light

Kurt thought Blaine hadn't seen him. But he had. When he sang the line he looked right at him, his golden eyes locked onto the pale blue of Kurt's.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away,

I couldn't fight it

I hoped you'd see my face

And that you'd be reminded

That for me, it isn't over

Throughout the whole verse his eyes never left Kurt. He was here. He couldn't believe Kurt had actually come. He was so happy he almost didn't feel the hurt stinging his heart and his eyes. Almost.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don't forget me, I beg,

Kurt wouldn't be able to forget him if he tried. But he didn't try.

Every day, Kurt would put one more rose petal in one of the drawers of his dresser. His husband didn't question his strange habit, but just leave him be.

On some days he would lock himself inside the bedroom, open the drawer, dump all the leaves on the ground and count them. One by one, he would put them back into the drawer. He'd curl up on the floor, lying there for hours until the heavy smell of the roses had soaked into his clothes, the carpet, his head, and cleared out the memories.

I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead.

Blaine remembered his first interview. He had just broke through and his first song was at the top of all the charts, all over the country. The questions were strange, but he didn't mind. He only lied about two things. His love life, or the lack thereof, and his favorite flower. He'd said he loved lilies. White lilies. They looked pretty, smelled sweet and they did not have thorns, so they could not hurt you. Because he was hurt enough as it was.

You'd know how the time flies

Only yesterday was the time of our lives

We were born and raised in a summery haze

Bound by the surprise of our glory days

It felt no longer than a few months ago, while in reality it was more than ten years. The memories were all still so fresh. The hurt was still fresh. The regret that he had left.

He remembered how Kurt had once, for Valentines day, bought a whole bouquet of red roses, one for every month they had had together. He had put it on his desk and for months, his room had smelt of roses. Of Kurt. They had begun to wither right in the vase he had put them in and for the following weeks he had found rose petals all over his dorm room.

Nothing compares, no worries or cares

Regrets and mistakes they're memories made

The slender figure in the back turned around on his heels and walked out of the door, leaving a few red rose petals behind.

Who would have known

How bittersweet this would taste

He couldn't handle it anymore, knowing Kurt was right there but not being able or at least permitted to talk to him, to touch him. It drove him mad. He stopped playing and declared that he felt so grateful for his fans that he was choked up with emotion. A few girls in the front row started crying.

He fled off stage and to his dressing room. As usual it was packed with tons and tons of white lilies. But right there, on his bag was one red rose. A small note was placed right beside the flower.

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead

3 695 red rose petals.

3 695 days away from you.

I survived, so will you.

-Kurt

-Fin-