They don’t speak when Blaine gets up the next morning because Kurt is gone. There is a letter on Kurt’s side of the bed where Kurt should be. It’s addressed to Blaine so he knows it’s for him. Grimly he stuffs the envelope into his pocket. He can’t bring himself to read it until he’s on the plane home. 

Even opening the letter feels like hell.

(Dearest Blaine,)

Blaine,

I’m writing this to you because as of now, we are no longer speaking.

Right now you’re laying in my bed, and not in the way I had hoped you would be. When I told you we would remember this night forever, well, I guess that was an understatement. 

You broke my heart, Blaine Anderson. 

I’m sitting here while you sleep grasping at straws trying to figure out why you would do this to me, to us. Looking back, I was always the one that was so sure this was going to work out. I was always the one to tell you I wasn’t saying goodbye, that we were going to be alright. You were always so worried that we weren’t. I thought it was because you thought I would stop loving you. I never would have guessed it was because you would (stop loving me) do something like this.

I was going to say you did it because you stopped loving me but I don’t know if that’s true. At least, I really don’t want it to be true. Even though I hate you right now, I hate myself because I can’t stop loving you. It hurts so much, Blaine.

I know I was distant, but you told me to do this! You told me to come here! You told me it was my time! We promised each other we would be here together next year. 

You made me trust you. You made me feel loved and cherished. You made me feel right and protected. And then you took it away because you were lonely. You took it all away from me because you are selfish. You only thought about what you wanted and you didn’t think about how it would affect me until it was too late and then it didn’t matter because you already did it. 

I don’t know if I can ever forgive you. And it breaks my heart to know that this is in my hands now. You did this to me. You made me have to make this decision. You made me feel this way. My heart wants to forgive you right now, but I can’t. Not after you were with another person. I keep thinking about what you must have did with him, how far you went. Did he kiss you like I do? Did he touch you like I do? Has he seen you the way I’ve seen you? 

You have no idea how hard it has been for me without you. Every day I see couples together—gay couples—holding hands and kissing, and I would imagine them as you and I. I imagined kissing you in Central Park and holding your hand on the subway. I imagined you here when you weren’t because I was lonely too Blaine, but I never acted on it because above all the pain of missing you I still loved you enough not to break your heart.

I guess it doesn’t matter now. I guess none of it matters now.

Goodbye Blaine. I hope he was worth it.

Sincerely,

Kurt Hummel