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The Monster Under Kurt's Bed

Blaine is hiding under Kurt's bed, when he finds himself with a face full of bra. What will he do? ONE SHOT!


T - Words: 2,261 - Last Updated: Dec 20, 2011
1,293 0 8 1
Categories: Humor,
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Mercedes Jones,

Author's Notes: I wrote this months ago. I haven't wrote anthing since. This should be funny let me know if it's not.

"Hey Blaine! What are you doing, right now? Where are you?" Mercedes said a little too excitedly. The whole of the New Directions were celebrating their win at regional's, after they FINALY won! They had all booked a Hotel room, which they shared with anybody of their choice. Right now Mercedes was in her Hotel room that she shared with Kurt, and she had something up her sleeve. But she needed Blaine for her to do it, even if he wasn't at the Hotel because he was in the Warblers.

"Hi Mercedes. Right now? I'm doing...nothing. Nothing at all. Just being bored. Why?" Blaine asked a little confused because even though he and Mercedes had become quite good friends, he wasn't expecting her or Kurt to call him while they were celebrating.

"I need you to come over to the Hotel A.S.A.P. Do you know where it is? It's an emergency!" Mercedes was smirking on the other end of the phone so Blaine couldn't tell if she was serious or not.

"Umm...Yeah. Kurt told me where it was before you guys left. What's the emergency? Is everybody ok? Is...IS KURT HURT!?!" Blaines voice was louder with every question. By the last question Blaine had already grabbed his car keys and was out in the Dalton parking lot.

"Blaine calm down Kurt's fine." Mercedes mumbled something that Blaine couldn't understand.

"Then what's the emergency?" Blaine asked curiously.

"Don't ask questions! Just get yo' ass down here white boy."

Mercedes hung up.

What the hell? Blaine asked himself, as he started up the car and headed to the Motel.


Blaine was at the Hotel after the half-hour drive, and now he was knocking on Mercedes' room door. He didn't have to wait long before she answered and dragged him in before anyone could see him.

"Alright. I'm here. Now what's the big emergency." Blaine said lamely, after deciding that it wasn't really a big emergency.

"I need you to scare Kurt..." Mercedes said plainly.

"Okay?" Blaine raised a triangular eyebrow.

"...by hiding under his bed and,"

"WHAT?! Whoa. Mercedes, honey, isn't that a little.....purvey?" Blaine saw an insulted look on Mercedes' face and quickly continued. "I mean, uhh...a gay guy, such as myself, hiding under a friends bed. A friend who is also very gay."

"It may be purvey white boy but it's the ONLY way I can get Kurt back."

"Get Kurt back? For what?"

"He insulted my tots!"

"OH! How dare he!" Blaine said in mock-surprise. But he quickly apologized after one look at Mercedes' unsmiling face. "but this blazer is very expensive so even if I wanted I would ruin it so..." Blaine started mumbling because he really didn't want to do this.

"Take it off." Mercedes said as if it were the most obvious solution in the world.

"Say, what now?" Blaine quickly replied.

"Take off your blazer, before you get under the bed. In fact, take off everything you have on the TOP half of your body."

"I'm not gonna take off my shirt or my blazer so I can hide under Kurt's bed. It's. Just. Wrong."

"Oh, come on Blaine." Mercedes encouraged. "What's scarier? A guy hiding under your bed and grabbing your ankles and trying to drag you under...or a shirtless guy doing that."

Blaine thought. He knew he would definitely be more scared if a SHIRTLESS guy did that to him. But he really doesn't want to do this. Especially topless. "Just someone dragging you under is scary enough."

"Oh Blaine are you seriously going to try and pull that one on me?" Mercedes had her bitch-face on. So Blaine thought it was best not to argue.

"Okay. Okay. So what do you want me to do?"

"That's more like it."


The next thing Blaine knew, he was under Kurts bed. Lying on his stomach, with nothing on his chest.

How did she convince me to do this? Blaine mentally asked himself. With a sigh of annoyance he lowered his head to the floor, waiting to hear the door open and see Kurts feet while he hid under the bed. He was also alone because Mercedes decided (very suddenly) to hang out with Rachel for a while, but Blaine knew she didn't want to deal with the wrath of Kurt Hummel when he figured out it was her idea.

When his forehead hit the hard, wood floor he realised that something, that was kind of soft, was underneath his chin and nose. Huh? What's this? Curiously, Blaine lifted his head to realise he had a face full of bra. What the hell!? Blaine assumed it must be Mercedes' bra because he sincerely doubted that Kurt wore a bra, let alone a - Blaine looked down at the label - C? D? E? cup (he couldn't see what it actually said because of the lack of light under the bed).

Suddenly, Blaine had the best idea (well, best idea at the time) ever!

Yeah a shirtless guy under your bed may be scarier than just a guy under your bed...but what's scarier than that?? A shirtless guy wearing a woman's bra hiding under your bed!

Despite his protests against this plan to get under the bed in the first place, Blaine actually found himself getting into the idea of being 'the monster under Kurt's bed' (as the plan came to be known as).

With difficulty, Blaine found himself putting on Mercedes' bra. He had to, of course, wrap it around himself once or twice because Mercedes was wider than Blaine was at the chest, and Mercedes really had boobs to fill the cups.

Blaine finally fastened the bra, (secretly, proud of himself because of the small amount of space he had) it was fastened at the front because if he had tried to fasten it at the back, he would have died from lack of oxygen. Afterwards, Blaine seriously considered taking the damn thing off it was so tight...but it was too late.

He heard a key turn in the door.

Excellent...

Blaine saw Kurts shoes moving closer to him, and then decided to let him take them off first 'cause...well...just 'cause! And then he would grab Kurts ankles and try and pull him under the bed.

Mwwhahaha.

Blaine heard (and felt) the mattress springs decent as Kurt sat on the bed right above Blaine, but he still had his shoes on so Blaine resisted the urge to grab his ankles now. Blaine heard some shuffling above him and the odd 'Giggle. Hiccup.' from the boy he was going to scare.

The mattress springs ascended and Kurt Elisabeth Hummel walked over to the other side of the room.

"DAMNIT!" Blaine whispered as he watched Kurt walk away. Fortunately, Kurt didn't hear him. Blaine let out a sigh of relief as he watched Kurt kick off his shoes and head back in his direction.

Yes...yes...YES!
Blaine celebrated in his mind.

A few seconds later Kurts feet were in reach of Blaine.

Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

ONE!!!


Blaine lashed out at Kurts ankles and grabbed them firmly, and pulled quite sharply, hearing Kurt scream in mid-fall.

"AHH! WHAT THE HELL!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!"

Kurt hit the floor with a loud 'BANG'.


A few minutes earlier...

Kurt was in Finn and Puck's room. They were all giggling and slurring words, they were not completely drunk but they were all tipsy, Kurt was the least tipsy of them all. This was all because Puck had snuck in some booze to get some party started. Unfortunately for him, most of the New Directions had declined because of what happened at Rachel's train wreck extravaganza, and they were still keeping the promise they made Mr Shue NOT to drink! But Puck was willing to break it and eventually convinced Finn to break it. Kurt, however, didn't sign one because he didn't get drunk and he was only going to have a few pints. NO shots. NO party games.

"Come on man. Party games. What's the point in getting drunk if your not gonna play party games." Puck whined as Kurt started gathering his things up so he could go back to his room and go to bed.

"One: I'm not drunk, or going to get drunk after what happened with Miss Pillsbury," he shuddered at the memory. Hiccup. "I'm only a little tipsy. Less tipsy than you" Hiccup. Giggle. "Two: I said I would leave when you star-hic-ted the party games. In," Hiccup. "case you don't remember."

Puck thought and tried to remember, while Finn stayed silent and finished his pint.

"Okay. But you don't know what your missing." Puck turned to Finn "Finn, grab the shot glasses."

Kurt picked up the rest of his things and left their room in time to see Finn go and return with the shot glasses.

Kurt shut the door and walked down to the other side of the Motel, passing other members of the New Directions' rooms. He arrived at his room door (which was next door to Sam and Mikes room) and fished in his pocket for the key. He found his key and unlocked his room door.

From the looks of things Mercedes had left, so there was no point in saying that he was back. He walked over to his bed and sat down, for some reason he found the squeaking springs amusing and started to giggle a little bit and when he giggled he hiccupped because of the pints he had had before. Eventually he had a pattern of 'Giggle. Hiccup. Giggle. Hiccup.‘ because hiccupping only made him giggle more.

Soon after, he got a hold of himself and calmed down enough to get ready for bed and shuffled around on his bed unbuttoning his blue button-up shirt. When he was shirtless, he realised that he still had his shoes on so he couldn't take is skinny-jeans off. So he walked to the other side of the room and kicked his shoes off, not even caring that they landed on their side.

Kurt walked back towards his bed and was about to go find his blue silk PJ's when suddenly something grabbed his ankles and pulled sharply.

"AHH! WHAT THE HELL!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!" Kurt screamed as he hit the ground hard with a loud 'BANG'.

Kurt was on the ground wondering what the fuck just happened when he saw Blaines hands retreat back to under the bed.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, to make sure what he saw was real.

No answer.

Kurt lowered his head and looked under his bed, but before he could get a good look at what was under his bed. Blaines head popped out and looked at Kurt with a goofy smile.

"Hi Kurt!" he said brightly. Kurt jumped back from the bed while he was still on the floor and gave Blaine room at crawl out. Blaine broke eye contact with Kurt while he crawled. "Sorry I had to, umm...scare you like that but Mercedes forced me to." Blaine was out from under the bed and then looking at a shell-shocked Kurt as he started to stand up. "She said she wanted to get..." Blaines eyes drifted down to Kurt's chest when he realised that he was topless. "...you back for," Blaine was really struggling for words now, with the gorgeous, pale, shirtless boy in front of him. "insulting......t-tots." Now Blaine was full on starring at the porcelain boy.

But he wasn't the only one lost for words.

Kurt was also starring at a shirtless Blaine, with a shocking pink bra on. He didn't know whether to be turned-on or creeped out. He admired Blaines body all the time when he had a shirt on, but now that he had it off. He was hot. Like, hotter then Kurt could have ever imagined; with his abs (which were way better then Sams) and beautiful olive skin and that little bit of hair below his belly-button leading down under his pants. KURT SNAP OUT OF IT! He mentally slapped himself and stared at the bra (he's pretty sure the bra is not Blaines).

"B-Blaine......" Kurt locked eyes with Blaine. "I-I know you like pink...but the bra is a bit, much." Kurt smirked. Blaine turned bright red, he had forgotten that he was wearing the bright pink bra, and crossed his arms over his chest.

At that moment Mercedes burst through the door. Laughing out loud.

"HAHA! KURT HE GOT YOU! HE TOTALY GOT YOU!!! HAHA!..." Mercedes stopped and stared at Blaine. "Is that my bra!?!" Mercedes queried more-than-slightly confused, but trying not to laugh any more.

Blaine was now redder than an angry guy in a cartoon. "Uuhh......no? I just d-d-dressed up for the occasion, is all." he stuttered.

Kurt burst into hysterical laughter, hiccupping like no tomorrow. "M-M-hic-Mercedes I thought you were the ‘Sweet Transvestite'." Mercedes and Kurt went into more hysterical laughter.

"I was! But obviously not anymore! HAHA!"

Blaine was still red, but found himself quietly chuckling at his friends' reaction.

Suddenly, a confused looking Sam came through the door. At that moment Blaine decided to humour his friends from McKinley, and now that Sam was here he knew exactly how to do it.

Blaine dramatically stretched his arm out so his hand was pointing towards Sam and said, in his best Frank'n'Furter impression. "ROCKEY!!!"

Now Sam was shell-shocked at what Blaine said and what he was wearing. He then decided it walk away (very awkwardly) and shut the door.

What Blaine had said got Mercedes rolling on the floor in stitches and Kurt hiccupping even more. Until Kurt (quite suddenly) stopped laughing and glared at Blaine, with a bitch-smirk on his face. He stepped over to Blaine, forcing Blaine to look up in order to look Kurt in the eyes.

"You know for helping Mercedes get her ‘revenge' on me...I'm going to get you back. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But I will." Kurt winked and turned on his heal to go to the bathroom to start his moisturising routine.

Blaine was suddenly very VERY scared.


THE END!

End Notes: This was my first fan fiction. Please review and let me know what you thought.

Comments

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this was fantastic. simply fantastic. and the RHGS reference–PRICELESS! poor sam didn't even know what hit him. he must think that kurt and blaine have some sort of kinky sex life.

Thank You!!!! ...your right. Sam probably does think that. LOL. I'm glad you liked it. :)

Thank You!!! I'm glad you liked it! :)

Very...very...funny! :)

SO FUNNNNNYYYY!!!!!XD

Thank you for your feedback! :D x

id love it if you wrote about kurts revenge on blaine Pleeeaaassseeeeeee

I would, but I haven't thought of a good idea yet. Let me know if you think of one :D