He'd not voiced it ever, not really.  But it just rolled out when he was talking to Mr Schuester as easily as if they were talking about the weather.  And he didn't think anything of it – teachers had some code of conduct right?  They didn't go about blabbing secrets about their students to other students.  So it was fine.  It wouldn't get out.

Because students never eavesdrop, do they?

It was a steady drip, drip, drip.  Like dominoes falling over.

Burt told Will that day at the garage.

Will told Emma that night at home.

Emma discussed it with Coach Beiste a few days later while they were discussing the upcoming rehearsals.

There was never any malice in it, it was never a point of gossip.  Just a realisation between the three of them that they got lucky with Kurt.  That without even realising it they'd prevented a tragedy.

(The biggest tragedy would have been that had it happened when it could have happened so many people wouldn't have thought of it as a tragedy.)

Blaine had been given his script the day before and poured over it over coffee with Kurt.  Then, after a banterful debate, coffee had been poured over it.  So he had come to Beiste's office to ask for a new copy.

He hadn't meant to listen in.  As soon as he realised that Coach Beiste and Ms Pillsbury were having a serious discussion he'd fully intended to turn and leave and come back later.  Then he heard Kurt's name and something made him stay and then his heart had just started to race.  The walls closed in on him and he struggled to breathe, stumbling out into the locker room until he found somewhere he could sink to the ground and collect himself.

After five minutes he stared at the stained script in his hand, trying to remember what it was, why he was here, what happened to it.  As soon as he remembered that last thing he remembered the Lima Bean with Kurt and Kurt and then his chest was too tight and he was going to be sick.

Scrambling to the toilets he held the bowl as he retched, bringing up what was left of his breakfast and then heaving until his stomach was sore from the effort.  Then he sat on the tiled floor and he gave in to the tears and the hurt.

He skipped Glee club that afternoon.  He texted Kurt that he wasn't well and he drove home, his hands gripping the wheel so tightly that not only did his knuckles go white but his arms hurt from the effort and exertion by the time he pulled up outside his house.

For a good five minutes he just sat there, still gripping the wheel, trying to get himself back together.  Once he was composed enough he went inside, lied to his mom about Glee being cancelled, said he had work to do, and raced up to his room.  Once he was safe inside his room he checked his phone.  There was a running commentary from Kurt and it instinctively made him smile.

Hope you feel better soon.  Miss you.  xx

Rachel's in full diva mode.  Probably a good thing you're missing this.

Oh god, she's talking about singing during her campaign.  She wants to use Glee to practice.  Would it harm my chances if I killed her?

Finn's trying to get her to sit down.  Nice to know that it's not just you he picks on.

Mr S has declared Glee a campaign free place.

Oh good, now we're rehearsing WSS.  I'm going from bad to worse here.

Shit, sorry.  Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.  I don't hate you for getting Tony, please don't think that.  I love you.

Mr S asked me to stand in for you.  I'd rather go back to the Cheerios and deal with Sue than sing with Rachel.

HA!  Puck's doing it!  Finn looks ready to kill someone.

Blaine stopped reading after that message, ignoring the rest of his boyfriend's commentary.  The smile had gone from his face and the knot in his stomach and his chest was back.  He didn't know how to deal with this information, how to process it.

He couldn't ignore it, he knew that, and there was no way he could pretend that everything was fine around Kurt.  He wouldn't be able to do it.  Santana had made more than one pointed comment about the "heart eyes" he continually gave his boyfriend.  He'd never be able to hide this, he'd never be able to not look at Kurt and want to hold him and never, ever, ever let go.

His phone beeped with a new message.

Finally free!  Hope you feel better.  See you tomorrow? K xx

He took a deep breath and typed his reply.

I lied about being sick.  I needed time to think.  Can we talk?  B xx

His text must have worried Kurt because immediately his phone sprung into life.

"Think about us?" Kurt asked as soon as the call was connected.  "Should I be worried?  Because nothing good comes from 'we need to talk'.  I said I'm fine with you being Tony and yeah, I'm a little jealous but you're more important than that and I don't want to lose you..."

"Kurt, Kurt!" Blaine snapped.  "Can we meet?  Tonight?"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"What?  No!  No, no...  I love you."

"But something's wrong."

"...Yeah," he admitted.  "But I want to talk about it."

"How soon can you be at the Lima Bean?"

"I'm leaving now," he said.  "Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"I mean it.  I love you, OK?  I really love you."

"I love you too."

Kurt was there first and so Blaine got out of his car and climbed into the passenger seat of the Navigator.  Kurt didn't even look at him, just stared straight ahead.

"We've always been honest with each other, right?" Blaine began.  "Promise me you'll be honest with me now?  No matter what?"

Kurt nodded his head, just a little.

"Before we met...  Before you joined Glee...   How bad were things?  For you.  At school."

Whatever Kurt had been expecting it wasn't this.

"You know," he said quietly.  "We talked about this."

"Not really.  I've been thinking about it.  We've talked around it.  Hell, I'm guilty of it too.  The night of the Sadie Hawkins?  We've never had a proper conversation about it.  And you've never told me how bad things were for you."

"Bad.  I was slammed into lockers, tossed into dumpsters.  Comments about how I looked, how I sounded...  What exactly did you want to know?"

"Was there... anyone you could talk to?"

"Like a friend?  Yeah... no.  They were in very short supply."

"What about Ms Pillsbury?"

"Where is this going, Blaine?  Why the sudden fascination with...?"

"I overheard something."

"What?  About me?"

"Yeah."

"Like what?" Kurt asked, his tone clipped and wary.

"Like...  Look, I'm not...  I just..."

"OK, now you're scaring me."

"Well that makes two of us," Blaine said.  "Because I'm terrified."

"Of what?"

"Of the fact that you could have killed yourself once."

The pair of them stilled and the air in the car became heavy for a moment.

"Your dad..." Blaine said eventually.  "He told Mr Schue that... that Glee club saved your life.  Like it was a real possibility.  And I didn't know how to deal with that."

Kurt hadn't said anything, he'd just stared out of the windshield, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"I'm sorry.  I just needed to talk to you about it."

"I know," Kurt said as he turned to look at him, his tone full of understanding.  "I just...  I guess it's something I've not thought about for two years.  And it's not as if I did anything, OK?  I swear to you, Blaine.  I never..."

Blaine sucked on his bottom lip and nodded.  So that was something.

"You sure you want to hear about this?" Kurt asked.

"No," Blaine said honestly, "but I need to.  This afternoon has been...  It was the worst time of my life, Kurt.  I need to know what happened, what it was like for you.  Because if you ever got back there and I didn't...  I'd never forgive myself."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and held on tightly.  "No, OK?  No, I'm never...  I will never be back there and do you know why?  Because I have you.  Because I have friends and my family and I have you."

"You said me twice."

"Well you're that important," Kurt smiled.  "And more than that...  You taught me how I can be myself around someone.  I don't have to pretend and I don't have to act like I'm someone I'm not.

"But before...?  Before it was... impossible.  I was the walking cliché, the gay kid who was bullied and humiliated and I hated my life.  It didn't matter that I wasn't officially out.  I was the obviously gay kid with the dead mom and a dad I didn't think I could talk to and...  It wasn't something I thought about, OK?  I didn't make plans or write notes or...  But yeah, I guess.  If things had...  Maybe?  Who knows?"

"It scared me," Blaine whispered.  "To think that you...  I could have lost you."

"Can you lose something you never had?  'cause we'd have never..."

"I'd have never had the best thing to happen to me."

"It's not going to.  It's not even... things are different now.  And I want them to be different for everyone.  That school...  Fine, they're not throwing me into dumpsters anymore.  But Prom showed me that things haven't changed that much.  If I get to be Senior Class President then I can make a difference to so many kids and..."

Unable to stop himself Blaine reached out, grabbed Kurt's face in his hands and kissed him.  Hard.  Tongues and teeth and teenage want.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said as they parted.

"Don't you dare apologise for that kiss," Kurt laughed softly.

"I meant about... everything.  What happened.  This afternoon, before...  I'm sorry."

"Why?  It's not your fault.  In fact you're a pretty big reason as to why..."

"I just...  I never thought you...  You're always so strong and composed..."

"Yeah, because I  through was the picture of that at Prom," he quipped without malice.

"You stood up there and got coronated."

"You danced with me."

"I couldn't just leave you alone out there."

"And this is why I'm not ever going back there.  Because if nothing else I have someone I can talk to.  And so do you."

"I know," Blaine said, running his fingertips down Kurt's cheek.

Kurt took a deep breath before asking, "We OK?"

"We're better than OK.  As always."

"I missed you this afternoon.  So much drama!"

"So I saw.  How did the Puck-Rachel duet go down?"

"Finn was not happy, I swear he was about five seconds away from throwing a temper tantrum!"

The rest of the conversation was light as Kurt deconstructed the Glee meeting, brought him up to speed with rehearsal dramas, and made plans for the weekend.  They parted with a heartfelt kiss, having never left the parking lot, each feeling better about themselves and the other, secure in them and a little bit more sure that what they had?  That was worth fighting for, talking about, and never giving up on.