Blaine knows it's time. He knows it by looking out the window from his bed. When days keep passing by and leaves on the tree outside change their color. He knows it by every waking second that his health isn't going to be better. That's what old age is about. Your skin wrinkles, you catch a cold easily, your back goes out more than you do, you walk slower and sometimes it requires a wooden cane to get your legs moving. You tend to forget things you say minutes after saying them. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. Blaine has all those signs. And he's fine with it. The only bitter thing about welcoming old age is doing it alone.

Sometimes when he is suddenly pulled out of his sleep in the middle of the night, breathless and sweating profusely, images of the last time he saw his most beloved one start flooding in. Blaine may forget where he left his fedora after having a walk in the neighborhood with Lily - his granddaughter - in an evening, but he can never forget the happiest days of his life. Lately, the memories often come back to him. Like a cinematic record people see when they are close to be gone.

Blaine chuckles. His teacher at Dalton once said near-death experience was similar to a kind of flashback, the kind that showed all your stages of life since you were born until your current state. Blaine had argued 'How can it be possible? If you are minutes to dying, given you have lived a long satisfied life, how can all of those days be packed and told in just seconds?'. Now that he knows. It doesn't come at once. Not so fast. And it also doesn't show all those years of living, of struggling to find yourself, of crying, of pain and misery. No. It shows him his favorite, happiest and most joyful events in his life.

And Kurt's present in all of them.

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It was a day in Blaine's junior year. When he was given a Katy Perry's song as a solo. It was categorized as an 'impromptu' performance that the Warblers threw once in a while. But Blaine thought it was a dead giveaway that their steps and harmony worked too well, too perfect and exact. Wes didn't care. He made them practice all the same. Later, Blaine was glad that he didn't miss any step or forget the lyrics. Because it made a great first impression on Kurt. Kurt, the worst spy in history of spies, also the most beautiful boy Blaine had ever seen. That day their eyes met at the staircase, he knew he was enchanted. He wanted to know the boy's name. So he said his name first and extended his hand, like a true gentleman.

Kurt. The boy's name is Kurt. Blaine decided that he liked the warm fuzzy feeling he had whenever the word 'Kurt' came out of his lips. He kept repeating it to himself, sometimes out loud and sometimes not. He didn't even notice the 'stupid smile' on his face every time he looked into his phone's contact list until David pointed it out. Blaine was embarrassed. He was falling rapidly and it wasn't a good idea. Kurt was in a fragile state. The boy's life was already filled with so much pain and sadness that Blaine didn't want to make him feel any more uneasy. So he befriended with Kurt. If there was any chance to make Kurt's day brighter, Blaine would definitely grab it. He would almost do absolutely every thing to make Kurt feel safe. Because every time he saw Kurt, he saw himself in the past.

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The day he drove to McKinley High to confront David Karofsky, Blaine was scared shitless. His hands on the steering wheel were sweating so much he was lucky to not crash into a tree or a trash bin. Karofsky sounded worse than his ex-bullies. And the minute Blaine parked his car, he had to practice breathing again, it was something he had to do to avoid a panic attack. He reminded himself that he was there for Kurt. He must show Kurt that there were people who cared for him too and that he must not be afraid to ask for help. So Blaine plucked up his courage and went in.

He had been shoved by the jock. Kurt wasn't exaggerating when he said that guy was a Neanderthal. He was twice Blaine's size and nearly a head taller. Blaine was lucky there was a fence to support his weight. His back hurt but he ignored it. Because Kurt was sitting down on the staircase, eyes red and lips clenched.

Blaine didn't know what to say when he learnt about Kurt's first kiss. He was shocked. It was either the fact that the jock was a closet case or the pang of jealousy that nearly washed over him. But Kurt was tearing up and Blaine had to do something. Offering the boy lunch was way too far from what he was going to say. He wanted to hug Kurt, to soothe him, let him cry on his shoulder if he felt the need to. However, Blaine knew Kurt was proud, and that Kurt wouldn't want to let a stranger he met days ago do that.

He was glad his decision didn't disappointed him. Because for the first time ever since "Teenage Dream", Blaine got to see Kurt's smile. It was not a full teeth-showing, nose-crunching kind but it was a smile nonetheless. And Blaine was happy to see Kurt's mood lighten up.

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After the "Rachel's party" incident, Blaine had tried to come up with ways to apologize, to make it up with Kurt, to show that he was an idiot and an asshole for kissing her while he, they were both having feelings for each other. Blaine, being Blaine, had prepared for a long meaningful speech before he texted Kurt. Telling him they should meet at the Warblers common room. He was relieved that half way through his speech, the speech he prepared for three nights, Kurt stopped him and told Blaine that he, too, was deeply sorry for his anger. Blaine couldn't believe his image in Kurt's mind was that of a perfect school boy. They talked for what like hours. Working out Blaine's issue. Blaine was able to talk to Kurt normally again and he really missed talking to Kurt. Somehow, it brought both of them closer. Learning about the other's flaws. It was a little step back then two steps closer for their friendship. And Blaine would never trade it for the world.

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The walk to the Warblers common room never felt so intimidating. Sure, Blaine had walked down that hallway every day. But somehow, when facing with newly discovered feelings, the usual environment that he was so comfortable in became the most unfamiliar place on Earth. Every step brought him closer to Kurt. To the boy that made him feel so much. Much more than the first time they saw each other. If he thought what he felt at the beginning was just a 'crush', then what was this feeling to him now? This feeling of needing, of pumping adrenaline, of wanting to see Kurt so badly it hurt. It ran through his body and refused to disappear. The shock waves ran through his body when he heard 'Blackbird' were rather more comfortable than what he was feeling now. Because there was no way such feeling can be real. There was no way a person can be so nervous he felt sick.

The sound of light footsteps came to a halt. Blaine had stopped walking. He was facing the door, the only thing that separated him and Kurt at the moment. It was time he lay it all out and expect the worst case scenario. So he calmed himself down by counting down from 10. Next thing he knew, his right hand was on the door knob. He sucked in a long breath. Well, here goes nothing.

There was that thing about slow-motion moments in one's life. It occurred to Blaine that day. When he leaned in to the breathtakingly beautiful boy and placed a kiss on those cherry red lips.

For a moment, every thing that surrounded them became blurry and turned into all shades of grey. The common room spun round and round and round and it made him dizzy. Blaine didn't recall his well-prepared speech, didn't care if what he would do might result in rejection later. His heart was drowning out his brain and he simply followed the only order he heard. The soft lips that pressed into Blaine's proved it was okay to do what you think was right sometimes and just stop thinking too much. He didn't want them to stop. It felt wrong to stop whatever they were doing. But Kurt needed air and Blaine had to hear his reply. What came after caused Blaine to lunged forward and crashed their lips together. This time, it was not going to stop mid-way.

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It was lonely without Kurt. Surely Blaine was sad to see Kurt transferring back to McKinley. He had no choice but to support Kurt. Because he thought it was his role. The days Kurt stayed in New York and Blaine remained in Ohio were the time Blaine felt loneliest. Wes was there. David was there. All of his friends were there for him. They kept him busy, and he really appreciated that. However, there was a crystal clear fact. They were not Kurt.

That day at the Lima Bean, where they sat in their usual table, usual seats. Blaine was singing and dancing internally. Finally he could see Kurt again. His ears drinking in the melodic sound of Kurt's voice. How Blaine loved hearing Kurt laughing and seeing his face. And it took him time and days to realized what he wanted. It came without a warning. In fact, it was so easy he let it slipped out. But he didn't care. What mattered most was the look on Kurt's face and his reply. Blaine would be dancing in circles if Sam and Mercedes didn't come right after that. Plus, embarrassing himself in front of that many was an incident in the past that Blaine would gladly not to mention. So they said some casual greetings to the couple - Yes, Blaine's obliviousness was not that serious - then went back to their conversation.

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Blaine had made another stupid mistake and he knew it. He knew alcohol consuming was bad for him. It controlled him, shut down his brain completely and wouldn't let his head go unscathed in the aftermath. The worst thing was, he always remembered what he did. Awful things. He felt ashamed of himself. But most of all, he felt like the biggest bastard ever for getting angry at Kurt, for pushing things when he himself proposed that they should wait for the right time. The need of seeing Kurt's smile again was killing him inside. He missed kissing Kurt's cheek when they arrived at Glee club. Missed holding his boyfriend's hands when they walk down the hallway. He knew he didn't deserve Kurt. He tried to make up for it. And every attempt had been wasted. Blaine didn't expect Kurt to forgive him. Let alone coming to say sorry to him after the show.

And that moment, he just wanted to break down and cry. The emptiness he felt when Kurt wasn't there after they fight. The joy he had when Kurt said he was proud of Blaine. He would have fallen onto his knees if Kurt's strong grip hadn't been on his shoulders, keeping him together.

Blaine was happy again.

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One year they lived in separating parts of the country. One year of waiting and endurance. One year of longing had passed. Blaine couldn't believe he had made it. He had made it to New York. To where Kurt was. Of course, it took him months of reasoning, of explaining to his parents. It must be his greatest gift, to look most peaceful and calming when his mind, his heart was the complete opposite. Blaine arrived in New York shortly after calling Rachel. They had a plan to surprise Kurt. The fact that Rachel could keep secrets from her room-mate/best friend for so long surprised Blaine. He noted himself that and on his Christmas gifts list.

Blaine was on the balls of his feet, looking for a small brunette until a fast running woman crashed into him and wrapped him in her arms. He hugged back after recognizing Rachel, impressed she found him in a sea of people. Rachel talked all the way to the apartment. Blaine followed closely, nodding his head to what she was saying. Although he zoned her out sometimes, Blaine was also the only one making effort to ever listen to the girl.

They arrived shortly, standing in front of the door. Once again, Blaine was only a few steps away from his beloved boyfriend. Rachel nudged him and he obediently knocked on the door. There was an answer of "I'm coming!" behind the door and he instantly knew it was Kurt's voice. The whole time they talked on the phone could never be compared to hearing Kurt in person. Sounds of footsteps and door clicking open. Blaine was nearly knocked down to the floor if Rachel wasn't supporting his back; for Kurt's arms were wrapped tightly around him and his face buried in Blaine's neck. Finally, they were together after one year.

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Burt and Carole had approved and sent him their blessing three days before that. Finn came all the way from Ohio to New York, because he took his role as Kurt's step-brother seriously. Rachel was Blaine's accomplice in this, shouting words of encouragement and kept him from backing out. For an advice, Puck had told Blaine to bring out his greatest, most charming smile. Santana just laughed and said something closed to making the rock as big as you can and he wouldn't be able to say no. Then there was Wes and David flying from their states just to take him out to find the best suit ever and listened to him going over his speech. Mercedes, Quinn and Tina helped decorating the apartment; for Kurt would never take things lightly and Blaine wanted to make it perfect.

It was their sixth year anniversary. They decided to stay at home and have a romantic dinner instead of going to luxury restaurants where the food weren't up to par with the bills. Blaine would take care of the food and Kurt the wine and flowers. Kurt went home with flowers clutching in one hand, a bottle of red wine in the other. Their apartment was transformed completely. It was far more beautiful than any other five-star-hotel. Blaine wore a suit that Kurt had never seen before, offered to take the wine and hung Kurt's jacket while Kurt put the flowers in a vase. They had a lovely dinner and right before he took out dessert, Blaine told Kurt to wait. The moment he got down on one knee, Kurt's eyes started to go wide and his expression was indescribable.

Every words, every sentence came with Kurt's eyes going watery and lips curved into an obvious smile. Blaine pulled out a ring and didn't have to look up expectantly. Because Kurt had pulled him up and kissed while saying 'Yes! Yes! A million times yes!' between kisses.

Blaine Anderson couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with Kurt Hummel.

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The call from Kurt announcing that they - as in him, Blaine and Annie - would arrive in any minute to Burt Hummel brought joy to the man. It had been four months since Annie came into their lives and Burt had only seen her once. It was easy for the couple to decide they want a surrogate mother for their child and that the child would inherit Kurt's genes. The baby was delivered without harm and she was healthy, with eyes are beautiful shining blue orbs and was blessed with milky skin and full cherry lips. Together, they were a family.

They were there in every step of Annie's life. From her first day at the kindergarten to her first day at school. It had been years of them together and yet, they missed each other for every single second apart.

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Still, 'tragedy comes when you least expecting it'. It was a rainy day in New York. Rain kept pouring down and refused to stop. Blaine and Annie, both were sitting on the sofa at home, waiting patiently for Kurt. They agreed to go to the zoo today but Kurt's schedule forced them to cancel it. Annie had cried earlier that day, complaining why his Daddy never made time for her. Blaine tried his best to calm the ten-year-old girl down. Dinner was getting cold but there was no sign of Kurt. Suddenly, the house's phone rang. Chains of sound piercing into the thick silent, together with the continuously 'tap tap tap' outside the window, they made a great combination for the opening of bad news.

Annie saw her father picked up the phone, he became very pale, the color drained away from his face. She ran to Papa the minute he put down the phone, hands clutching the edge of the table. Blaine only had time to explained to her while they ran out to take a cab to the hospital. The idea of driving in that state of mind would surely result in unspeakable consequences.

They arrived at the hospital, the minute the car stopped, Blaine flung the door open, gave the driver some 10$ bills. Not caring about the change. Blaine held Annie in his arms and went straight to the reception counter and asked for 'Kurt Hummel-Anderson'. He filled in papers and they were led to a waiting room. Kurt was involved in a car accident. Three cars. The other two, the one who was drunk died right after the crash from blood loss. Kurt and the other woman were sent into Emergency room. All Blaine heard was 'lost a lot of blood', 'may not make it', 'tried as hard as we could' and the doctor took him to a recover room. Where Kurt was lying in white cloth, bruises on his face and medical equipments surrounded him. Rachel had come during the waiting hours to take Annie back home.

Blaine was left alone with Kurt. His beloved husband. Whose breath was so weak it could hardly be heard. His hands covered Kurt's right hand. Holding it so dearly as if he was afraid of hurting him. He sat like that until the nurse came in.

Blaine didn't realize his face was wet with tears. Despite his state, Blaine refused to go home. He waited and waited. Until ten more hours when the doctor came out from their check. One look from him and Blaine broke down into a crying mess. He didn't have to hear words. Refused to. Finn's strong grip could't hold him back anymore so he ran straight to the room, hands reaching the bed and swatting away the white cloth they were going to cover Kurt in. His arms clutched around Kurt's body, tears soaking the chestnut hair, he let out the desperate sound he never knew he had, mumbling incoherent words into the man's neck. Saying please, please pleasepleaseplease all over again. Yet no one answered. Nothing but cold, pale skin of his once beloved husband.

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He had to live without Kurt. Every single day. Every single hour. Every single second passed by and he had never felt less human. He didn't use alcohol. Didn't do anything rash or stupid. He still took care of Annie, with the help of Rachel and Finn. He walked like a normal person. Talked like one, too. But inside he was no longer himself. On the outside, he was still a function, living, breathing human being. He acted like he had got over it. The least he could do was not making his friends and family worry so much about him. They deserve time to get over it too. Losing the love of his life, the other better half of his wasn't something Blaine Anderson would be able to get over easily. The day Kurt went away, he took Blaine's heart with him.

And once again, for so long, so long ever since he was in sophomore year, Blaine was lost and he couldn't find a way out.

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Years after years, the accident still haunted him. The last image of Kurt in his mind was that of a beautiful angel, whose wings were broken and hurt and blood covered. He imagined when the cars crashed, did Kurt have time to cry for help? Did anyone notice him? Or was he already unconscious by then? What was Kurt's last thought? Did he ever think it would turn out this way? Why did he leave Blaine behind? Leave Annie behind? He made a promise to come home. He had promised.

The only reason Blaine lived on was for Annie. Watching her grow to be an adult. Seeing her smile every day was the only joy for him. Yet it cut him so deep inside. Her hair, eyes and smile resembled Kurt's. She didn't inherit his gentle tone of voice. Somehow, that was a good thing for Blaine. Because it'd terrified him one day and he'd never be able to let the past be the past. He now understood how Burt felt. Annie was the living reminder of Blaine's greatest happiness.

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Blaine is sitting there on the couch when Lily comes home from school. The little brunette girl smiles sweetly at him and gives him a peck on the cheek, "Hello grandpa!"

"Well, hello there young miss. You look so happy today, do I want to know what happened?" Blaine was holding onto an album, so he sets it down next to his right thigh and looks at Lily, now is ready to hop on her Grandpa's lap.

"Nope. School's awfully boring. But I'm just happy seeing you out. You have been staying in your room for so long I thought you were sick. Now that you're here, it means that you are fine and that makes me happy." She smiles, her dimples showing and it makes Blaine feel all the sudden happier.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. I'm just reminiscing the past." He gives the album a light pat.

"What is it grandpa? I've never seen you take it out before." Well, of course she hasn't. Blaine keeps it hidden in their box of memories ever since that day. Sometimes when he misses Kurt so much, he takes it out and flips through the pictures. It never helps. Just makes it worse.

Eventually, Blaine finds himself flipping through the pages again and showing Lily the pictures he had taken in Dalton, McKinley and special occasions. Those include wedding portrait, the day of their honeymoon, the day Lily was born. Lily keeps asking questions after questions. Most of them are about Kurt. He is glad she stop after their 8th anniversary photos. Reliving those memories is killing him.

There is one photo Lily keeps returning back to, it's the one Kurt and Blaine took on their first day meeting each other. Blaine had printed it out from his phone and made several copies. Lily can't help but says adoringly, "Granddad is so pretty."

Blaine chuckles, it was exactly his first thought then, only that it replaces pretty with incoherent words, but those are the same.

"He is, isn't he?"

"I'm just sad I can't meet him. I heard mom said he had a wonderful voice."

So Annie was telling Lily about Kurt? Blaine thought she was too young to remember. Or may be Rachel showed her some videos they made back in Glee club.

"Yeah. His voice is, uhm, was truly wonderful." It moved me every time he sang and I can't help but wanting to hear it again.

"It questions me every day why he chose me to be with." Blaine whispers.

"Oh, grandpa, why would you ever have that thought?" Lily frowned.

"I mean, look at me, Lilypad, I'm an old man, I'm short, I had really wild hair back then and I was a stupid fool."

"Grandpa, I saw your photo, you looked really, really dashing. Well, you still look dashing now, of course. And mom told me you were the best singer in your glee club!" Lily's tone of voice challenged him to counter back, she is so sure of her grandpa being worthy of her granddad that Blaine doesn't dare to say otherwise.

He smiles, "Yeah. I guess I'm worthy of him."

"Now, isn't that much better?" says Lily proudly.

"Yes, yes it is." Blaine says. When in reality, it isn't.

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"Papa, do you hear me?" comes Annie voice. It's been a while since last called him that. Her voice is filled with concerned. Blaine can't help but open his eyes to see his daughter, his beloved daughter looking down at him. He's been sleeping and lying on the bed for days. It takes him great trouble to even move from place to place. His illness is getting worse. Despite the doctor encouragement, Blaine knows his body more than others do. And he knows the doctor lied to him.

The end is near and he isn't scared. No. He really isn't. His feeling is far from that. Because his hands aren't sweating. His heart isn't breathing so fast it could beat a racing horse. He whispers hoarsely, "Annie, can I see Lily?"

It takes Annie two seconds to reply, "Yes. Yes, I'll go bring her here."

Annie is worried. Her father hasn't woken up for two days and now, when he does, he asks for Lily. Could it be, that he is leaving her?

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Lily comes running in. She hasn't seen her Grandpa lately and Mother keeps making her stay away from his room. Was he ill? She couldn't tell. His bright smile from the day they talked about Granddad Kurt clearly showed his happiness.

"Grandpa, grandpa! I'm here, I'm here. Do you want to see me?" She runs to his bed side, cheeks slightly flushed.

"Yes, dear. You should not run too fast. It's dangerous doing that."

"Oh, I'm sorry, grandpa. I just, really really want to meet you."

"Ah, yes. Can you call your mom and dad here too? I can see them standing outside."

Annie and her husband, James, come in, they stand closely by his bed, but still make enough space for Lily.

"Now, I want you all to see me. Because, Lily, dear. From today on, I won't be able to see you again." Annie let out a chocked sob and buries her face into James chest. He brushes her chest nut hair slowly, soothing her, he has to be strong.

"But, grandpa, are you not happy living here? I thought you were happy."

"No, dear. I am very happy. But you know, when the time comes and that's when I have to go. And the place I have to go is far far away."

"Where is it grandpa?"

"I, I don't know." He really doesn't. He does not know where people end up after they die. Is there really Heaven? Or is there after life? Will his soul be free? Will he go to hell for whatever reasons? Blaine doesn't know. And that worries him. Kurt doesn't, didn't believe in Heaven either. Kurt was an atheist. And if there is no Heaven, then where is Kurt? Where will he have to go to find him?

"I guess, I'll just go to where Granddad Kurt is." Blaine says, a bit too proudly. Yes, he'll find Kurt. No matter where he is, Blaine will find him.

Comes an excruciating pain and Blaine coughs. He can't control it now. The pain in his lungs when he breathes, the pain in his heart every second passing by. They are all coming to him. All at once.

James' eyes are red while Annie is now tearing up. Blaine doesn't get why they are all so sad. Is it because he is breathing heavily? Or is it the way life is slowly fading from his eyes?

It must be. Else it'd be ridiculous.

Blaine feels sleepy. He has just woken up minutes ago but now he feels really really tired. His heart is tired. His mind is, too. He contentedly closes his eyelids and let out a sigh. It is his last breath.

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He travels far and fast. On and on and on until he ends up in a place where he can no longer see his bed, his house and New York anymore. To a place where there's no sun but every thing is shining brightly. There's no bird but there's singing and chirping melody in the air. There's no wind but he feels the cool breeze on his skin. He closes his eyes and just focuses on feeling the surrounding. When he opens his eyes, he examines himself and finds his old body still there, old clothes and bowtie. It's no Heaven, obviously. There was no gate to Heaven. No judgement day. So where is this then?

Blaine walks and walks. Until when he can spot a figure standing not far away from his spot. It is of a man for sure. He has a slender body, fit even, with perfectly styled chest nut hair and porcelain skin. On his body is an outfit - a pristine white shirt, black skin-tight jeans - they are so familiar Blaine swears he had seen it before. But he doesn't give a damn about finding it out. Because when the man turns back, he reveals a beautiful pair of sparkling blue eyes, lips full and pink and smiling. Kurt sees Blaine. Blaine knows that. Slowly his body is awake. He walks faster and faster toward the man, each step getting lighter and stronger, his full body returns to how it was when he was in sophomore year. The clothes he wears transform into an equally flawless white shirt, black jeans and a pair of shoes.

They end up in each other arm. Hugging. So tight their chests touching. The warmth on the other's skin filling up their hearts. Blaine buries his head into Kurt's neck and inhales a light fragrance of flowers and of hairspray.

After a while, they let go of each other. Only to have their lips crash in again. There is need, love, want, hurt and pain poured in together. Kurt cups Blaine's face and leans deeper into the kiss. As if it is possible. Blaine's hand finds its way to Kurt's waist, pulling him closer and closer until their hips meet. They could have keep kissing like that and never stopped. And Blaine has been waiting for so long it takes him a lot of courage to let go. They are both slightly out of breath, cheeks flushing slight shades of pink, lips swollen red, faces glowing like the sun.

Finally, when Blaine's hazel eyes lock on Kurt's glasz ones, when he feels the grip of his hands on his beloved is real. It comes like a whisper, a choking sound even. Because he knows Kurt can hear it. He knows Kurt can hear Blaine says, "Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever."