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The Pamphlet Method

Blaine accidentally finds Kurt's pamphlets in his bedside table, but his reaction is not the one Kurt expected.


E - Words: 2,857 - Last Updated: Oct 27, 2011
1,230 0 3 9
Categories: Romance,
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,

"Do you have a pen? I think I know what 5-across is."

Kurt raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend from where he sat at his desk, trying to finish the drawing for his latest design while Blaine lay on his bed. "You are so middle-aged. In the drawer somewhere." He waved vaguely towards the bedside table and turned back to his work.

"I resent that. You're way more middle-aged than I am."

"Impossible." Kurt could hear Blaine rustling and opening the drawer behind him. There was silence then, and he assumed Blaine had found the pen until he spoke.

"Wh-what are these?"

Kurt turned in his chair. "Hmm?"

"These." Blaine took something out of the drawer and span to face his boyfriend, holding it in front of him. It took Kurt a couple of seconds to realise it was a pile of pamphlets.

"Oh my God. Blaine, put them away!"

"Why do you have them?"

"How did I forget they were in there? Blaine, please, just put them down. Ignore them."

"Why do you have them?" Blaine raised his eyebrows and Kurt couldn't tell what his boyfriend was feeling: he was wearing an expression Kurt hadn't seen before.

"My…my dad gave them to me. Please, Blaine, this is so embarrassing."

Blaine opened one of the pamphlets and Kurt jumped to his feet. "No! Don't read them!"

Blaine's eyes were wide as he took in the one that Kurt realised, with a sinking feeling in his stomach, was entitled 'BOYS on BOYS'. Kurt moved forwards, intending to grab them and throw them out of the window, but Blaine dodged him, walking backwards around the bedroom, still reading the pamphlet. "Kurt, these are just…"

Kurt sat down on his bed with a whimper, realising that Blaine was not going to relinquish the pamphlets. "This is awful. You probably think I'm some creeper for keeping them in a drawer by my bed like some sort of…I never look at them, I swear."

Blaine laughed and Kurt whipped his head around, not expecting that reaction at all. "Oh, Kurt, I do not think you're creepy. I'm kind of worried you're going to think I'm creepy."

"What?"

Blaine circled the bed and sat down next to Kurt, looking at him with that undefined expression again. "Because I'm weirdly turned on right now."

Oh.

Well, that was new.

"I see," Kurt said, his voice a lot higher than he had intended. "Can…can I ask exactly what about my pamphlets you find…titillating?"

Blaine snorted and kissed his cheek. "I'm going to ignore that you just used that word for now, but I am so bringing it up in an argument as to why you're middle-aged one day. But it's not the pamphlets, exactly. I mean, it is, but…" Blaine was starting to look distressed, and his rambling was never a good sign. Kurt wanted to take his hand, but he didn't think it was really an appropriate gesture at this point. "The fact that you have them," Blaine continued, "means that you're thinking about sex, however vaguely. And…and thinking about you thinking about sex is…well…"

"Erotic?"

"Again with the words you're never allowed to use again. But, yes." Blaine bit his lip, his eyes worried again. They had never really talked about this. They had never gone further than kissing – not intentionally. They had brushed against each other a couple of times and groaned, but that was as far as it had gone. This was completely uncharted territory, and Blaine was therefore terrified that Kurt was going to freak and run out on him.

Kurt had been silent for a little too long, and Blaine was teetering on the edge between worried and hysterically panicked. When Kurt did speak, his unexpected question didn't help much. "Do you masturbate?"

Blaine thought it an achievement that he didn't choke. "If…if I say yes, will you break up with me?"

"No."

"Well, yes, then. D-do you?"

Kurt shifted uncomfortably beside him, winding his fingers together. "If I say no, will you break up with me?"

"Oh, Kurt."

The countertenor looked at him with panic in his eyes, and Blaine realised he had taken his reply the wrong way.

"No, no, Kurt, I'm not going to break up with you." He grabbed his boyfriend's hands and kissed one of his knuckles. "Of course I'm not. I just don't understand how. I think I'd go insane."

"Good to know I'm a freak of nature once more," Kurt said with a bitter laugh, refusing to look at Blaine.

"Hey, no, don't say that. You're not a freak. It's okay." He stroked Kurt's cheek with the back of his hand. "Is there a reason why?"

Kurt moved closer and rested his head in the crook of Blaine's neck with a sigh. "I just don't understand the appeal. It seems so disgusting. It's not that I'm not attracted to you because I am. I most definitely am. I just don't do that."

Blaine had to push thoughts of Kurt being 'most definitely' attracted to him out of his mind for now. "It's not disgusting. It's…it's kind of amazing, actually. I swear I saw a pamphlet on it somewhere in that pile."

"Please, in the name everything holy and unholy, do not mention those pamphlets again."

Blaine chuckled as he stroked the back of Kurt's neck. "Why? They look like they're very informative. They had some helpful diagrams."

Kurt groaned and pretended to sob into his boyfriend's shoulder. "Please tell me you're not getting turned on again."

"Well, now that you mention it, you are very close."

"Oh, you're foul." Kurt pushed Blaine away, not quite sure if the other boy was joking or not.

"Well, no, this could work. Look," Blaine said, picking up one of the pamphlets he had discarded on the bed. "This one's about hand jobs."

Kurt whimpered and almost put his hands over his ears. Blaine saw the flinch of his hands and sighed.

"Kurt, we're talking about it now. Let's just carry on, okay?"

Kurt huffed, but shifted up the bed so he was resting against the pillows and nodded to Blaine to indicate that he should continue.

"So." Blaine moved onto the bed properly, sitting cross-legged in front of Kurt. "You don't understand the appeal. Using this very helpful pamphlet, I could…show you?"

Blaine saw Kurt stop breathing for a second. He saw his eyes widen and his fingers clench around his elbows, arms crossed over his chest. Blaine hoped that he hadn't stepped across some sort of line, but he really wanted to do this.

"What are you suggesting?"

"You know what I'm suggesting."

"And you – you want to do that?"

"Like you wouldn't believe." Blaine was making his new face again and Kurt, as he took in the darkness of his eyes, realised what it meant.

He gave a tiny nod. "Okay."

Blaine paused, just for a moment, to take in what was about to happen. He had not been expecting this when he came to spend an afternoon with his boyfriend. Then he moved forward onto his knees. He nudged Kurt's knees, causing them to spread apart, eliciting a gasp from Kurt. Blaine shuffled forwards and knelt between his boyfriend's legs, his head spinning a little. He pressed their lips together, gently at first, but quickly the kiss deepened. Blaine leaned forward, pressing his chest to Kurt's as the other boy wrapped his hands around him and fisted the back of his t-shirt in his hands. Blaine had to keep reminding himself to think because he needed to do this right, but the way Kurt's tongue was licking at his mouth was so distracting.

Perhaps sooner than he should have, he rubbed his hands up and down Kurt's thighs. The other boy moaned and arched his back a little. That was definitely a reaction Blaine could get used to. He was already embarrassingly hard and when he slid his hands up and down Kurt's thighs, the other boy arched again and their crotches brushed against each other. Blaine broke their kiss with a gasp, leaning his head against Kurt neck and trying not to groan too loudly. He had felt Kurt's erection press against his own and was pretty sure his eyes rolled back in his head.

"Y-your dad, he's definitely at work?"

"Please don't talk about my father right now." Kurt let his head fall back against the headboard and Blaine watched his Adam's Apple bob as he swallowed. He had the overwhelming urge to lick it, but he had something he was saying, if he could just remember what it was.

"Um…"

"Yes, Blaine, he's at work. Please, just kiss me again."

"Nngh." Blaine would like to say he was eloquent and completely calm the first time he was intimate with his boyfriend, but that would be lying. Basic speech had left him entirely and he couldn't help the slight rocking of his hips into Kurt's. The other boy shivered at the tiny movements, then suddenly thrust against Blaine. Both boys moaned and their mouths found each other, kissing without finesse, all tongues and teeth, but neither of them cared. The feeling of grinding against each other was too pleasurable.

Blaine managed to pull his mouth away from Kurt's and took a couple of breaths to clear his head before speaking. "We have to stop this."

"What? Why? No." Kurt whined, trying to pull Blaine back to him, but his boyfriend resisted.

"No, I mean that I had plans. And I want…I want to see them through. Which won't happen if we do this."

Kurt flopped back again, groaning in defeat. "Fine. But please, be quick."

"Glad to know you're such a romantic, Mr Hummel."

"Oh, fuck you, Blaine."

Blaine chuckled, feeling a swoop in his gut when Kurt swore. It was ridiculously hot. He kissed along Kurt's jaw gently, nuzzling behind his ear before trailing his lips down the other boy's neck. As he sucked on Kurt's skin, he reached down between them, the angle a little awkward, and fumbled with the button of Kurt's jeans. The other boy bucked against his hands and moaned, the vibration travelling through Blaine's lips on his neck.

"God, Blaine."

Blaine managed to pop the button open and slide the zipper down. He knew his hands were shaking, but he didn't want Kurt to know how nervous he was. He had to keep it together or his boyfriend might get afraid and pull away. And Blaine could not deal with that. He wanted Kurt in a way that felt almost feral, every part of him begging to touch and be touched. Nerves were not going to get in the way of that.

He reached into Kurt's jeans and cupped him in his palm. Kurt let out a yell which sounded like a strangled version of Blaine's name and dug his nails into Blaine's back, rocking uncontrollably into the other boy's hand. It was the singular most arousing experience of Blaine's life and he had to think of all number of disgusting things to stop himself from coming in that moment. He squeezed Kurt gently, amazed by the reaction it garnered. When the other boy's whimpers turned to moans and his gentle rocks became sharp thrusts, Blaine pulled his hand away.

Kurt's eyes snapped open. "What? No. No, what are you doing?"

"I want to touch you properly."

"Do it, Blaine, or I think I'm going to die."

Blaine managed a breathy laugh and leaned his forehead against Kurt's as he ran his fingertip back and forth across the strip of skin between the bottom of his boyfriend's t-shirt and the top of his briefs. "You are such a drama queen."

Kurt didn't reply – he couldn't. He keened, pushing towards Blaine's fingertip which was raising goosebumps on his skin.

Blaine took the hint and slipped the tips of his fingers under the edge of Kurt's underwear. He stopped for a moment, just breathing deeply, trying to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to do.

"Blaine, do not tease me, because I'm not beyond begging at this point." Kurt's voice was broken and tinged with a libidinous quality that made Blaine's skin tingle. He hadn't realised his fingers had been still for so long.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I'll just…"

He hooked the fingers of both hands into the waistband of Kurt's briefs and jeans and tugged them down. He didn't bother pulling them down them all the way, because neither of them would last for that. He stopped when Kurt's cock sprang free of his underwear. Both boys moaned, their breath mingling. Blaine kissed Kurt quickly and whispered an 'I love you' against his lips. Kurt gave a mumbled response that Blaine assumed was a repetition of the phrase.

Finally, finally, Blaine wrapped his hand around Kurt's length. It was heavy in his hand and felt amazing. The angle was strangely different from what he was used to, but he soon got the hang of it. He flicked his wrist back and forth, sliding his hand up and down Kurt's cock. The other boy was falling apart at the seams already, his fingers threading in Blaine's hair and tugging hard. He tried to kiss Blaine, but as soon as their lips met he had to pull away and groan because Blaine had squeezed at the base of his cock.

"Does…does it feel good?" Blaine kissed across Kurt's cheek and sucked at the edge of his jaw.

Kurt's moans were even louder now and he snapped his hips forward. "Y-yes. Amazing. Feels. I…" He bit his lip and the sight of it made Blaine's own cock twitch, now uncomfortably hard in his pants. Blaine reached down to press the heel of his hand against himself, unable to hold back a moan.

Kurt seemed to come back to himself a little then and opened his eyes, trying to see through the haze of lust pervading his senses. He took in the tendons standing out in Blaine's neck and the way he was rubbing himself through his jeans while trying to keep up a steady rhythm with the hand wrapped around Kurt.

Kurt had no idea what he was doing when he reached out, but when he started to unbutton Blaine's jeans, the other boy whined and fell forward a little into Kurt. Kurt quickly reached inside Blaine's pants and pulled out his boyfriend's cock. He tried to mimic the movements Blaine was making, but he was suddenly very aware of how he had never done anything like this before.

Blaine seemed to sense Kurt's hesitation when his boyfriend's hand faltered. "Just do what I'm doing," he said, his breath hot on Kurt's ear. "Trust me, you…you feel so good. God, Kurt."

The rasping of his name spurred Kurt on and he squeezed a little tighter. He could tell this worked by the way Blaine thrust towards him, barely managing to keep jerking Kurt off.

They managed to get in sync; Kurt copying the way Blaine squeezed at the base of his cock and rubbed his thumb over the head. The room echoed with their moans and the rubbing sounds of the sheets against the fabric of Blaine's jeans as he thrust forwards, still on his knees.

"Blaine, I think I'm…I don't know-"

"Can you feel it here?" Blaine splayed his hand on Kurt's stomach, fingers dipping close to where his other hand was moving frantically.

"Yes, I – oh, Blaine." Kurt threw his head back and yelled as his stomach pushed against Blaine's hand. His back had arched and he was coming across Blaine's fist and up his forearm. Blaine had been right on the edge and that sight pushed him over. He moaned and curled into Kurt's chest, thrusting desperately as his pleasure turned liquid on Kurt's hand. Blaine somehow managed to pump Kurt through his orgasm, but Kurt had let go of Blaine as soon as his boyfriend came. Blaine barely noticed because all thoughts had been pushed out of his head.

Both boys slumped when they had spent themselves, Kurt back into his pillows and Blaine onto Kurt. They lay there, Blaine still kneeling awkwardly between Kurt's legs, their hands trapped between their sticky bodies, breathing heavily. Blaine was twisted in a way that was becoming uncomfortable, so he made himself stretch out his legs so he was lying fully on Kurt's chest, his legs between the other boy's. Kurt lifted one hand, slowly because his whole body felt heavy, and placed it on Blaine's back. He had intended to stroke it, but couldn't find the energy.

Kurt took a deep breath, forcing himself to remember how to speak. "Thank you. I love you." He didn't really remember any other words at that moment. Those were the important ones and his brain wasn't working any more than it had to.

Blaine made a noise in the back of his throat and kissed Kurt's chest through his t-shirt. "You don't have to thank me. L-love you." He had to breathe a couple of times before he spoke again. "So you see the appeal now?"

"Definitely." The word came out with a breath, almost lost in the rush of air.

"Good. Does that mean we can do it again?"

Kurt pressed his fingers into Blaine's back. "Oh, believe me, we are going to be doing that a lot."

"Never pegged you for a sex maniac. Not…not complaining, though," Blaine said.

"If I'm a sex maniac, am I still middle-aged?"

"Are you really bringing this up now?"

"Well, you started it with your crossword puzzle."

"No," Blaine said. "Your 'titillating' trumped that."

"They were titillating pamphlets, though, weren't they?"

"Mmm, practically erotic."

"Oh, shut up."

Comments

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hot AND funny, what more could you want

Ok, wow. Your writing is so splendiferously amazing that I think I may have - pardon the TMI - had my first orgasm. From a fic about nothing more than a hand-job. I haven't been THAT turned on in a while, and I read a LOT of fics. That was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Nice work. ;) (p.s. Perfect ending.)

Ok, wow. Your writing is so splendiferously amazing that I think I may have - pardon the TMI - had my first orgasm. From a fic about nothing more than a hand-job. I haven't been THAT turned on in a while, and I read a LOT of fics. That was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Nice work. ;) (p.s. Perfect ending.)