Dec. 13, 2013, 6 p.m.
Gaia's Son
Just like every other child in the age of 6, Kurt is going to receive his Perfect Gift from one of the Offerenda Gods. Something perfect, something just for him. Kurt is getting Blaine.
M - Words: 10,700 - Last Updated: Dec 13, 2013 643 0 0 1 Categories: Angst, AU, Romance, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Burt Hummel, Carole Hudson-Hummel, Kurt Hummel, OC,
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Earth, Water, Fire and Air hadnt always had that name. They had been named Geb, Osiris, Rê and Shou in ancient Egypt; Gaia, Thalassa, Hephaestus and Aether by the Greek and then, centuries later, the names they currently had. The only constant being their duty on the planet. They were to provide a perfect gift to every child of the age of six around the globe, and were to deliver it on the morning of the 21st of December, the Winter Solstice.
The gift could take different shapes but once its form was definite it was either put in a bubble if it was from Air, in a rock if it was from Earth, in a blue bottle if it was from Water, or a red and orange one if it was from Fire. The package was labelled with the childs name it belonged too and sent on their way. Some gifts couldnt be bottled though. A pet couldnt be bottled, a boat either. It was much easier to bottle seeds, charisma, wit, or skills.
They had decided centuries ago to live away from the mortals, dedicating their time to conceive and create the gifts and to look over the ones they had already sent. No one was supposed to be able to come and visit them. It was a lonely life, yet filled with the joy of knowing that boys and girls from around the planet were given a chance of being happy.
This year, they were going to send their gift to Kurt Hummel, born and raised in Ohio by Burt and Elizabeth Hummel. Earth remembered, with a fond smile, putting Burts perfect present in a small, easily breakable rock all those years ago. Fire had taken care of Elizabeths gift. Burts gift had been a kind heart, the man had put it to good use over the years and Earth smiled at the time about to come where he could rely again on her present.
Kurt was singing loudly with his Mommy to the disc they were listening to as she put the last decoration on their tree. It was the 20th of December and Kurt was a big boy now. Being a big boy meant that tomorrow he was going to wake up his perfect present will have been delivered.
Kurt clapped and bounced rhythmically on his fathers armchair as his mother hit the high note. They sang along to two more songs before his mother decided that it was time to calm down a bit. Kurt sat back on the chair and took his book from the ground, where it had been discarded the second they had started to sing. The book was big, almost as big as Kurts lap. Kurt liked his book, it told myths and legends about the Offerenda Gods. The book had pictures but it also had text and Kurt tried to read it, frowning in concentration as he tried to make out the words. The book was telling him how the four gods had always tried to give every child in the world something special, something unique and to cherish. There was pretty drawings of the gods. No one had seen them in centuries and the only representation that they had was sculptures made of them by the Greeks or paintings from when they had been partying with the Sun King in France in 1701. Kurt loved following the drapes of Earth and Waters dresses, the two women were almost prettier than his mom and Fire and Air looked so elegant and strong. Kurt poked at his little arm wondering if one day he would be as strong as them.
Elizabeth hauled Kurt from his seat and sat in the armchair, taking her son into her lap. The little boy instantly cuddled against her shoulder as his mother stroked his cheek.
"Are you okay, sweetie?"
"Yes." Kurt answered with a trembling voice and the woman smiled in his sons hair, kissing him right after.
"Do you think about tomorrow?"
"No, what is tomorrow?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes at her stubborn son. She knew he was worried, he had been for a while now, but he didnt talk about it.
"Well tomorrow is Easter, so there is a little bunny –"
"Mommy, snot funny." Kurt mumbled against his mothers shoulder as he tried to hide himself a little more.
"Are you afraid about the present youre going to get?" The woman tried one more time. She wasnt one to push but she could feel her son distress and didnt want to leave him like that.
"What if my present is ugly?" Kurt suddenly erupted, looking right at his mom with teary eyes. "What if they forget about me? What if I dont get a present?" The little boy sniffed a little, two big tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Oh, baby. Of course youll get a present, and it will be perfect. Youll see. Maybe you wont know what to do with it first, maybe it will be surprising, but youll see that it will be perfect." The mother tried to reassure her son. "Who do you want your gift from?"
"Waters presents are always so beautiful." Kurt answered with dreamy eyes, turning several pages of his books to show his mom. "But I think Fire will bring me my present."
The woman and her son talked some more, about what Kurt was afraid about and what he thought could be a cool gift. He fell asleep in his mothers arms and Burt had to carry him to his bed.
The next morning Kurt rushed out of bed and ran down the stairs. The little boy couldnt wait anymore and he wanted to see his present. Kurt sprinted to the tree and started to look around for a wrapped gift. There wasnt anything, though. The little boy sat in front of the tree and put his head in his little hands, studying the tree and waiting like that until his mom woke up and found him sitting in front of the tree.
"Kurt, baby, what are you doing here?" The woman rubbed her eyes, still heavy with sleep as she closed her nightgown around her waist.
"I dont know where my Perfect Gift is, Mommy." Kurt answered with a pout, still not moving from his place.
"Oh Kurt, I thought you remembered. Your gift must be outside, in front of the door, silly." Kurts face lightened up and the boy stood up quickly before rushing to the door to open it. He put his hand on the doorknob and opened the door.
What Kurt saw first was two big pools of amber and green right in front of him. The little boy stared at what was in front of him, his mouth hanging a little.
"Im sorry but have you seen my Perfect Gift?" Kurt asked to the boy in front of him. The other boy must have been Kurts age, his lower body was covered by leafs and flowers creating a skirt around his waist, ivy coming out of it and curling around his little torso and his arms. Kurt looked at the boys hair, dark curly hair, with two branches coming out of his skull like two antlers with leaves hanging here and there. His hands and feet were dirty with grass and mud, just like his face, but it looked pretty with the ivy and the leaves on the boys body.
"Hello," finally the boy spoke. Kurt thought that he had a really beautiful voice, it was comforting and made to sing. "Im Blaine, are you Kurt Hummel?"
Kurt nodded, biting his lower lip and playing with the hem of his shirt. He wasnt used to having people his age talk to him, and Blaine was really pretty even if he was half naked in the middle of winter. When Kurt nodded Blaine beamed at him and his eyes sparkled with joy.
"Hello Kurt, Im your Perfect Gift!" Blaine exclaimed as he stepped closer to Kurt who instantly stepped back. Blaine cocked his head to the side, without hurt or confusion on his face. Instead he extended his hand for Kurt to shake. Kurt carefully took the boys hand in his and held it for few seconds, not knowing what to do.
Burt and Elizabeth had been listening to the exchange from the hallway and when it became clear that Kurt didnt know what he was doing Burt stepped in to help his son.
"Kurt? Kiddo, why dont you invite Blaine in?" Kurt turned around to look at his father. Burt smiled at him and that was all it took for Kurt to invite Blaine in. Because if his daddy thought it was good idea then it must have been.
Blaine wobbled behind Kurt, following him into the house. When Kurt sat in front of the tree, Blaine did the same. They sat in front of each other, looking at the other for a while, not saying a word, Blaine mimicking everything that Kurt did.
Elizabeth came back with a basin full of clear water and soap and spare clothes for Blaine. She gently washed his face, hands and feet and helped him into the clothes.
Kurt looked at his mother, uncertain of what to do next.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, dear?"
"This is Blaine, he is my Perfect Gift." Kurt talked to his mother to avoid saying anything to Blaine, he didnt know what to say to him, he didnt know what would happen next and it was all really confusing.
The two parents came back with two mugs of cocoa in their hands, ready to open a present. Kurt welcomed the distraction since he still had to find what he wanted to say to Blaine. It was the tradition, whether or not someone was getting a Perfect Gift, to open a present on the morning of the 21st of December to celebrate the Offerenda Gods.
"Blaine, Im sorry honey, we didnt know youd be with us today so there is no present for you under the tree. But well find you something, alright?" Elizabeth gently said to the boy as he watched Kurt open his gifts.
"Its alright, Mrs Hummel. Im Kurts, I dont need a present." The boy answered, smiling at the woman.
Later on, Burt and Elizabeth were busy in the kitchen while Kurt and Blaine were sitting on Kurts bed, still having yet to say a word to each other.
"I like the branches on your head." Kurt finally said. Blaine smiled broadly at that, tilting his head to Kurt.
"Do you want to touch it?" Kurt slowly brought his hand to the wood and petted it, giggling awkwardly.
"Its pretty." Blaine blushed at the compliment and tilted back his head so he was able to look into Kurts eyes.
Soon after, Blaine had to take them out and take a full bath to get rid of the rest of the mud.
Burt and Elizabeth tried not to analyze the gift too much. They knew that Kurt wasnt the most popular kid at school, but getting another being as perfect gift was quite something. But the two adults were just grateful that the other little boy was here and seemed so eager to befriend their son. They were intrigued but they hoped it would all work out perfectly in the end.
Two weeks after Christmas, Kurt came back from school with a big bruise on his leg.
Blaine didnt go to school with Kurt, he was a gift, hence he wasnt allowed to go to school with Kurt. Elizabeth was teaching him everything she could when she came back from work, and during the day Blaine would stay with Burt in the shop, reading and coloring. The two boys were allowed to be alone in the house whenever Kurt got back from school, if they did their homework together, and didnt watch too much tv.
Blaine noticed the bruise on Kurts leg and poked it to see if it hurt.
"Blaine!" Kurt whined in retaliation when Blaine poked his finger a little too deep into the bruise.
"Does it hurt?"
"Yes, no." Kurt answered, earning a frown from Blaine.
"Who did this to you, Kurt?" Blaine took Kurts hand in his and waited for an answer.
"No one, I just bumped into a table." Kurt knew that Blaine didnt believe him, but it didnt matter.
"People are a little mean sometimes." Kurt admitted after a while, shrugging like it was normal. They were sitting at the kitchen table and had taken out the cereals box from the cupboard and poured themselves a bowl.
"I know, they are stupid." Kurt giggled at that.
"They call me names and they push me." Blaines spoon stopped halfway to his mouth, which was hanging wide open.
"They are buttheads!" Blaine decided with a frown on his face, Kurt giggled some more, a little shocked by the insult. They didnt have the right to insult people. "But your friends? What did they say?"
Kurts mouth twitched at the question and instead of answering, Kurt put a big spoon of cereal in his mouth, some milk dripping on his clothes.
"I dont have friends." Kurt said his mouth full of cereal.
"I am your friend." Kurt looked up, hope written all over his face.
"Really?"
"Of course." Blaine laughed a little, making the statement sound like a normality.
Kurt stayed silent, it was the first time that he had had a friend, he didnt know what you were supposed to do with one. But it didnt matter, Blaine was his friend, he had a friend and cereal. It was going to be okay.
Two years later, Elizabeth died and Blaine saw how affected Kurt was For a while, the boy didnt cry, didnt show any emotion and instead, after a chicken incident, Kurt started to take over several chores that his mother used to do. Kurt started to cook and look after his dad. Blaine helped; he cleaned as much as an 8 year old could, and tried to cheer up a devastated Burt. He and Kurt somewhat succeed, because after a while, Burt started to get better and acted more and more like the father he was before. Blaine was here, he was helping, just not the right person. He and Kurt didnt share much for a while, and Blaine knew that the other was holding off. They still watched Disney together but they didnt sing, they still baked together but they didnt made too much dough to lick it out of the bowl anymore, Kurt didnt come straight to Blaines room to talk with him. Blaine could feel how distressed the other boy was, but it still had to be Kurts choice to come to him, Blaine didnt want to push him.
Blaine waited until one night, he heard footsteps outside of his room, and then he heard his door creak open. Kurt closed the door as silently as possible, and stepped in the dark room.
"Kurt?"
Instead of answering, Kurt jumped into the bed and lay next to Blaine. Blaine turned to him, but didnt say anything. The little boy scooted closer to Kurt and tried to hug him. At first, Kurt stayed still. Blaine ran his hand over the other boys back, trying to sooth him a little. It wasnt the first time that Kurt had snuck into his bed, they used to sleep together a lot the first year Blaine had been in the house.
Kurt leaned into Blaines embrace and started crying against the boys pajamas. Kurt cried and cried, for an hour, hiding his face in Blaines arms.
Blaine didnt say a word, he was just glad that Kurt had come to him, he was relieved that the boy was finally letting go and letting himself grieve, instead of pretending that everything was okay. Blaine held Kurt all night, even after they both drifted to sleep.
Kurt sneaked into Blaines room for two months, and every night Blaine held Kurt, sometimes singing him to sleep. For Blaine it wasnt much, he knew he couldve done more, but Kurt was still putting some distance between them, and Blaine didnt want to push.
It was Blaine who had the idea of hiding in Elizabeths closet, in between her dresses and coats. The first time they did it, Kurt stayed in there for two hours, and after a while, it became a ritual. That was how Blaine got Kurt to open to him a little. It took a year for the boy to get Kurt to really talk to him. Blaine knew that Kurt had no friends at school, and he also knew that he wasnt talking to his dad. So Blaine listened and asked questions about Kurt, and in the darkness of the closet, Elizabeths perfume still hanging in the air, Kurt and Blaine became closer than ever, sharing little secrets and talking about anything and everything.
When they reached twelve, Blaine was allowed to stay at home if he wanted. He spent his days in the garden behind the house talking to the flowers, gardening, watering bushes, and getting rid of weeds. Burt soon found out that the boy stayed outside far more than he initially thought. It wasnt that hard to figure it out, every afternoon when Burt came back from work, he found Kurt sitting in the garden on a chair doing his homework and Blaines hands deep in the mud or the grass, doing whatever was needed to be done in the garden.
The man invested in everything that is needed to garden: shovels, picks, a wheelbarrow, a watering can, weedkiller, seeds, and so on. When he offered them to Blaine, the boy spent two hours with Kurt tidying everything in the little house in the back of the garden.
Kurt and Blaine spent all their free time together, Blaine talking about gardening and Kurt talking about school. Blaine listened how Kurt was afraid to go to school, how some people taunted him and stupidly pranked him, how they called him names and bullied him. Blaine listened and hugged Kurt, he tried to give him all the strength he had in himself, the courage as well. Blaine walked Kurt to school every morning because it was the least he could do for Kurt, and at least while they were walking together Kurt wasnt thinking about school and what was going to happen to him that day. Several times, Blaine got in a fight with boys from Kurts school. Blaine also picked Kurt up from school, and sometimes the other boy came out with new bruises on his arms or his stomach grumbling because someone had taken his lunch. Burt got called by the principal every time, and every time he laughed at how silly the situation was. Because out of his two boys, it was the one that wasnt in school that got him called by the principal. Burt took his time with the principal to tell him what he thought of his school, about letting children being bullied by other children without doing anything.
None of them condone violence, but Blaine had told Burt that if it was the only way to keep Kurt safe then he would do it.
Kurt didnt say anything about Blaine getting in fights for him, he had a friend just for him, a friend who was willing to fight for him and listen to him. Blaine was his best friend and Kurt was grateful for him, because thanks to Blaine, sometimes Kurt didnt feel so afraid to go to school. He stopped by the school library once and took a book about gardening out and offered it to Blaine.
"Blaine! Youre not going to believe it!" Kurt shouted when he met Blaine outside of school. Kurt was now in his sophomore year. It had taken some time, but one day Kurt had come home and told Blaine that he thought he had made friends, Blaine hadnt known what to do with this information. It had been them, just them for so long. He was glad that Kurt had people at school to look out for him, but then what place did that leave him in?
"What is it?" Blaine wondered, handing Kurt a bit of his snack. Kurt took the snack and reached out to Blaine, hooking his arm around Blaines, not daring to hold his hand like they used to when they were little.
"You know Rachel and Mercedes?"
"Yes, Kurt. I know all about Rachel and Mercedes." Blaine laughed gently at Kurts excitement, still waiting for the other boy to explain.
"They invited me for a sleepover! Ive never had a sleepover or friend to invite me to one before. How cool is that? We are going to watch films and eat pizza; this is going to be so fun!"
"Kurt! Thats great!" Blaine said, genuinely happy for Kurt. It wasnt surprising he wasnt invited, Blaine was Kurts, but he didnt belong with the human. He didnt exactly know what he was, or what to call himself, but he knew that he must have been something quite different to be treated so differently.
Kurt talked all the way to their house about Rachel and Mercedes and everything they had planned to do. It wasnt the first time that Blaine felt out of place and unnecessary, but it was the first time he felt that soon he would become useless to Kurt. Kurt would had amazing friends to support him, and invite him over, and take care of him. Blaine had fit that role, but not anymore and probably not ever again. He could feel that Kurt was growing apart from him, he could see it clearly and yet, he was going to stay here until he couldnt. Because Kurt is his everything, always had been, and he couldnt walk away like that anyway.
It took two years for Kurt and Blaine to completely grow apart. Blaine was just a fixture in Kurts life, he knew it. But he was more like the old teddy bear you cant just get rid of because of all the memories that it holds, Blaine was like the house you grew up in or the shop you used to spend hours and hours in. He wasnt needed anymore, but his presence was required anyway. The more Kurt had started to make friends, the more Blaine had found a shelter in the garden.
He stopped picking him up from school, instead focusing on the garden.
Kurt had been afraid something might have happened to Blaine the first time he didnt see him outside of school. He had rushed home to find Blaine working hard in the garden. Kurt had watched him work until Blaine looked exhausted and then, Kurt had bring him some water and a snack.
Kurt loved watching Blaine work in the garden. He belonged there, and Kurt could feel it. Blaine looked so pleased whenever he witnessed a new plant growing. Kurt saw that Blaine was at ease in the garden and soon Kurt started to feel like he was intruding. Instead of crowding Blaine, Kurt continued to look at him gardening from his room.
For Kurt, watching Blaine garden was probably the same as Blaine watching a flower open.
Kurt talked with Blaine about setting his dad up with Carole, and Blaine gladly helped. It had been a while since the two boys had elaborate a plan like that, and it felt good to have Blaine by his side. Kurt caught himself studying Blaines face more often than he liked to admit. But when Kurt had started to plan the wedding Blaine had just shied away and offered his help to transport chairs and anything heavy.
Kurt tried to talk about New York with Blaine, but instead of listening Blaine had just smiled at him and walked back to the garden. Kurt had wanted to offer Blaine to coming with him, to come to New York and find school he might be accepted into. Kurt knew that Blaine had always wanted to go to school and to learn. But the boy had barely listened to him. Kurt bit his lip and turned back to his bedroom with a heavy heart. Whenever Kurt brought up New York in the few months that preceded his leaving, Blaine barely joined the conversation.
So when Kurt left for New York, he thought that maybe some time apart would be good for them. Kurt found himself agreeing to on a date with Adam, sweet, gentle, caring Adam. It was fun being with him, nice even. But it wasnt as easy and comfortable as being with Blaine. Maybe it was because Blaine had known him since they were children, maybe it was because Blaine was his perfect gift. Maybe it was simply because Blaine was exactly what Kurt wanted in a man. Kurt tried to call Blaine several times, opening his phone and scrolling down until he found Blaines number. He didnt call though, too afraid that Blaine, once again, would shut him out.
Whenever Kurt would come home, Blaine was excited, he missed Kurt, he missed hugging him and listening to him. But Blaine also knew that he must have paled in comparison to everything that Kurt was leaving behind in New York. Blaine found himself writing an email to Kurt more than once, before deleting it, too afraid to look stupid. He wanted Kurt to notice him, he wanted Kurt to see him, but not because he was being clingy or because he was in the way.
To Blaine, Kurt had grown to be a mature, strong, and independent man. Kurt was confident and he was living the life he had always wanted. He had friends now, more than he can count, he had people who looked up to him and who supported him. He had friends to laugh with and talk with until dawn. And Blaine felt like he wasnt one of them anymore. .
It was normal for Kurt to grow, it was normal for him to go on with his life. It was also normal for Blaine to want to do the same thing. He was a Perfect Gift, he had been made by Earth herself. He had to go and convince her to give him a life. No matter the price.
When Kurt went home for the holidays he stopped several times in front of Blaines door. He had practiced his speech in front of his mirror; he knew what he wanted to say. It went a little like this.
"Blaine, I know we dont talk as much as we use to, and I know we dont know each other as well as we used to. But I want to, Ive always wanted to, and I was wondering if maybe youd like to go on a date with me?"
Kurt didnt knock on the door, afraid of being rejected. Little did he know that Blaine was doing the same thing for another reason.
Blaine waited all weekend to gather enough courage to tell him, to get up and go to his room and talk to him. He waited until Sunday afternoon to finally knock on Kurts door.
"Come in!" Kurt answered from inside. It had been a while since Blaine had been in Kurts room. Kurt looked up at him and smiled shyly. Blaine was completely oblivious to this though, and instead he focused on how much it broke his heart to feel like he didnt matter to Kurt anymore.
"Ur, yes? Blaine?"
"I need to talk to you, if its alright?"
"Yes sure, come here." Kurt patted the spot in front of him on the bed and waited for Blaine to sit.
"Its been a while now, and Ive been thinking about this a lot. I think its clear that my presence is no longer required here and I would like your permission to leave." Kurt gasped at the admission
"You what? Blaine, what are you talking about?" Kurt tried to find Blaines hand but the man in front of him just locked his settled in Kurts stomach at Blaines words.
"I want to leave, Kurt."
"But, but you cant. Youve always been here, weve always been friends!" Kurt argued, trying to find something, anything to make Blaine change his mind.
"I didnt have a choice, Kurt. I had to be your friend. "
"Of course you had a choice, you couldve stayed away if you wanted, it was your call!" Kurt shouted back, feeling like he was losing Blaine a little more every time he said was panicking, he couldnt lose Blaine, not when he had so much to tell him.
"No it wasnt, and you know it, I know it, everyone knows it. I was made for you. Made, Kurt! It was never my choice." Blaine stood up and walked in circle in Kurts room, too angry to stay sitting on the bed.
"So, what are you telling me? That you were my friend out of necessity? That you never wanted to be my friend? That the friendship we have is based on absolutely nothing? Go on, tell me exactly what it is that youre thinking for once, Blaine, and dont hold back." Kurt dared, hoping that Blaine would say something, hint at what he had done wrong and that he would be able to fix whatever Blaine was blaming him for.
"I want freedom."
"But youre free already!"
"Im yours, Kurt. I dont have the control of my life! Im an object at best."
"This is ridiculous." Kurt shoved his hands in the air, Blaine rolling his eyes at him.
"You wouldnt understand anyway. Im just asking for you to agree on letting me go."
"I dont want you to go, though, because you know what? I know exactly whats going to happen. I have seen it clearly for a while now."Kurt said, his voice turning sad and resigned, instead of tainted with anger like it had been from the beginning. " Its all over your face and its printed in your eyes. Once youre gone, youre never going to come back and Ill lose you forever. Because thats it, right? Once youre gone there is no coming back." Kurt whispered, his heart breaking with every word. Because it was the truth and Blaine wasnt saying anything to contradict him.
"Kurt, please. I need to do this, for me, for you. I want to know I had a choice at least once."
"No." Kurt answered stubbornly.
"Kurt." Blaine pleaded, stepping closer to the other man.
"No, you dont get it, Blaine." Kurt shouted, his eyes filling with tears. "If I say yes, Ill lose you, but if I say no Ill lose you too. I have no way of winning here, how is that fair?"
"What about me? How is that fair for me?"
"No, no it isnt." Kurt gulped audibly, wiping furiously his tears from his cheek and looking away from Blaine. "Is it what you really want? This? To go away and find whatever it is that youre looking for?"
"Yes, I need to do this for myself. I need to be selfish here, Kurt."
"If I make you stay, will you resent me? Will you hate me? Will I lose you even more than I already have?" Kurt looked back at Blaine, his eyes sadder than ever, and Blaine could read all the desperation and sorrow in Kurts blue eyes.
"Probably." Kurt sighed and stepped even closer to Blaine, smiling sadly at him while tears continued to roll on his cheek.
"Youre already gone though." Kurt brushed his thumb against Blaines temple before tapping lightly against it. "In here, youre far gone, I already lost you."
Blaine didnt answer because it wasnt a question, Kurt was just stating a fact. A painful one, but a truthful one. Kurts hand fell back against his side and his mouth turned into a frown as he tried to hold back the fresh tears that menaced to fall on his cheeks.
"Then go."
"Kurt, I-"
"Blaine, just… just go, okay?" Blaine nodded and kissed Kurts temple. He was free to go wherever he needed to go, to go find the only person that could truly free him. Blaine knew that Kurt would explain everything to Burt, Carole and Finn. Blaine took the bag he had prepared months ago and cowardly left, without the strength to say goodbye. He left without hugging Carole one last time, without fist bumping with Finn one last time. He just left, leaving the only family he had ever known behind.
Blaine took the bus to the airport. He had money in his bank account, money he had earned while gardening for the neighbors for years. There was enough to buy a ticket to New Zealand, not return, just go. Blaine paid, and hours later he was on a flight taking him where he felt pull toward.
When Blaine finally landed in New Zealand, he immediately took a bus to Te Urewera National Park on the North Island. He didnt have a map, he didnt have a backpack, or anything else that might help him find his way. There was no logical way of finding the Offerenda Gods domain. No human was able to find them, so of course there would be no map or directions to where he was going. He had to rely on his instincts and his luck.
Blaine started to walk mindlessly, trying to avoid the hiking roads in the forest. He had to lose himself in the forest, he had to walk so far into the forest that he would never be able to find his way back. This was how you found your way to the Domain. Blaine walked mindlessly for hours, turning right, left, and sometimes not, not because something caught his eye, but just because he felt like it. The ground was covered with a blanket of leaves, brown and orange. Blaine walked into the forest, he walked toward the darkest places of it. There were no birds singing where he was heading. The noise of his boots resonating like thunder every time he stepped on a dead branch, breaking the heavy silence that surrounded him. He was alone, there was no animals, no river, or even winds to keep him company, so Blaine walked. There was no point in running, this wasnt a race, he knew that as much as the destination was important the path he was following mattered more. Blaine followed the silence, blindly trusting it.
He had no idea how long he had been walking when he stumbled on a glade. Two thin trees created a door to a trunk bathed in light, hovering next to it, there was a branch covered with dark red and yellow leaves captured the warm light. Blaine tilted his head to the side, intrigued by this apparition of the sun in the middle of the forest. The trees were high here and the branches were dense, it shouldnt had been possible for any ray of sun to pierce through it. But still, there it was, and Blaine was captivated by the sight. He marched toward the trunk, making sure to walk in between the two thin trees. He walked around it, placing his hand on it. The moss felt dirty and wet, probably from the last rain, the wood was rough, fissured, earthy, home.
Blaine closed his eyes, with his hand still on the wood, his palm flat against the trunk, Blaine closed his eyes and breathed deep. He let his body be fed by the Sun and fueled by the wood. There was nothing but him and the earth and Blaine felt right.
He slowly opened his eyes and placed a grateful kiss on the wood before turning toward the other end of the glade, where the lights darkened and the trees lead to the forest again. Blaine didnt walk long before the trees ended abruptly and instead were replaced by a field of ferns. Just like the tree bordering the field, the ferns harbored some orange leaves. It was much more difficult for him to advance, the ferns covered the ground and were high enough to be up to his waist. Blaine tried to made his way through it without walking too much on the plants, trying to let his passage be as unknown as possible for the flora. He must have been walking for hours because the sun started to fade and instead of the warm glowing sun, a light grey light pierced through the trees, engulfing him in a glooming fog.
Blaine didnt notice it at first, but as the night settled, lights erupted from the plants, just like a million fireflies. They illuminated the field, their glow hot and vibrant against the orange and green of the ferns. Blaine followed them, he didnt know where he was, hadnt known for a long time now. He rid himself of his shoes, feeling the need to be barefoot on the ground. And then he started running. It still wasnt about getting to his destination faster, it was about freeing himself, it was about being around what made him him. Blaine ran and ran, his lungs on fire with how harsh his breathing was, but he felt alive, he felt empowering by it, his feet barely touching the ground as he ran toward absolutely nothing.
Thats when he saw it. The domain, leading to the amazing mansion. Blaine stopped. This was it, this was the place he had been looking for and he felt a pull toward it, a string going right from his chest to somewhere in the house. Blaine let himself be led by the string, it was too strong to be ignored.
He shortly arrived in front of a magnificent gate, which opened without the need of being touched. Blaine had never seen such a garden, flowers and bushes in abundance, cut perfectly in different patterns and placed to create a faux French garden. Blaine followed the path, created with small torches on each side of it.
Two people greeted him at the door and instantly took charge of him, leading him through several rooms, each more beautiful than the former. For some reason, Blaine knew he must have been in the Earth aisle. The furniture was made with dark wood, stunningly shaped, and their beauty accented by small patches of green here and there on the chairs, the couches, and curtains. The ceiling was painted with scene he knew from books, it represented the genesis of Earth, it illustrated how Earth would choose and create her perfect presents. Blaine let himself be undressed by the two people, they bathed him and then dressed him with a green tunic. They put a crown made of branches and leaves in his hair, now completely curly. They put perfume on him and put bracelets on his arms and wrists, leaving his feet bare.
No one asked him any questions on his way, Blaine passed several others people in the aisle, but instead of talking to him they would bow down their head and walk faster. The two people that had helped him brought him in front of a high door with the four elements being represented on it and intertwining with each other, complementing each other, creating a mesmerizing ensemble. The door opened and Blaine was pushed inside, the door quickly closing behind him in a loud thump.
Blaine turned back and walked toward the four chairs in front of him, occupied by two men and two women. The four people were all patiently waiting for him to come closer. They were dressed in togas or dresses, colored with what represented their element and who they were. Earth and Water sat next to each other on the right side, while Fire and Air sat on the left.
"Hello, Blaine." Earth finally spoke, raising her hands to Blaine to greet him. She gazed at him with a motherly look and smiled warmly at him. "Its good to see you in proper clothes." The woman joked lightly, trying to put at ease the boy in front of her. Blaine took a deep breath and smiled in return, gathering the courage he needed to talk.
"Hello, Im Blaine and Im here with a request." Blaine started simple, his name and what he was here for, simple sentences to get himself through this. They all turned their head toward Earth, waiting for her to lead this interview.
"Im listening, my child." Water took Earths hand in hers, knowing that it was really rare for her to see one of her creations.
"I was made for Kurt Hummel, Im his perfect gift. I was given the opportunity to be something he needed and to help him. I like to think I did, I like to think that somehow my presence changed something. But Im not useful anymore because he has grown into the bravest and strongest man I know. I want to be released; I want a life on my own." Blaine breathed, his whole body shaking with nerves.
"Blaine, child, do you know what you are asking out of me?" Blaine looked up and saw tears in the womans eyes. This wasnt the deity talking anymore, the woman looked like a mother worried for her child. "If I release you, Blaine, if I let you go, you wont be able to come back here, I wont be able to help you, and you wont be able to help Kurt. In any way or form." Fire and Air werent saying a word, only looking between the woman and Blaine, without any animosity, more curiosity, and maybe a little awe at the stupidity, or courage, of the boy.
"I feel like my duty as a perfect is done. Kurt is courageous and brave, he has amazing friends to support him when he needs them, he has a father and stepmother, he has a brother, and he is so talented. And then, there is me." Blaine shrugged, motioning at himself with his hand, making his bracelets dance on his wrist. "I did all I could, and I helped as much as I could, but my duty is done now. I am not after an end here, what Im asking for is new beginning. I want a life." Earth stood up and walked toward Blaine, tears falling freely on her cheeks. She hugged the boy and petted his hair, like a mother would do. When she looked into Blaines eyes, the boy understood that she looked at him like a mother because she was. She was his mother, she had created him and given birth to him. The strings he had always felt toward flowers and other flora were the strings that tied him to his creator, his mother.
"Blaine, I cant release you, only you can. But once youre done, there is no turning back. You will be human, you will suffer, and you will fear. Kurt, his dad, everyone you ever knew wont remember you. The bond that is between you and Kurt will be destroyed, and the string between you and I will be too."
"Boy," Fire asked his voice low and warm. "What do you want to do with a life?"
"I want to be me, I want to know I have a choice." The three others deities nodded their approval to Earth who turned back to Blaine. Her hands cup his face and she gently brushed her thumbs on his cheeks.
"I see your struggles and I share your pain. Youve been living for as long as youve been next to Kurt. I want you to be safe, my child. Losing you would break my heart." The flowers on Earths crown changed from bright yellow to a less vibrant shade of green, some of them changing to a somber orange to fit the womans mood.
"Ive been living but I wasnt my own person." Blaine pleaded one last time, brushing his cheek against one of Earths hands.
"Then, so be it. " Earth painfully agreed, "Make wise choices, may they always be dictated by a kind heart for they will bring you felicity. Please, be safe my child, and may Neptune be your guardian." Earth sent Blaine on his way, but not before whispering a few more words to him.
Blaine looked at the god one last time, before opening the large door and stumbling directly into the forest. The doors closed loudly and Blaine twisted around to see them disappear, leaving him alone in the middle of the woods.
Blaine had no idea what day it was or even what time it was, the sky was dark with menacing clouds, the trees high and threatening on each side of the road. Blaine started walking, having no idea where he was heading. The more he walked the more he was surrounded by a thick grey and blue fog, the branches leaning more and more to create arches above his head until Blaine couldnt see the sky anymore. Blaine moved forward, not stopping for a second. He could feel something coming, something bad and frightening. Blaine was feeling nauseous with apprehension.
Blaine continued to move, until he started to notice a form on the side of the road. He couldnt see what it was because of the forest, but the more he marched toward it the more neat it became. It was him, or someone looking exactly like him. The man was looking at him, smiling and waving, and it felt wrong. Blaine could see the smile but it froze him to the bone, the waving slowed down until the movement was imperceptible. Blaine approached the man and it was him, there was no doubt about it. It wasnt a mirror, or a mirage, it was him, looking right at himself, his eyes empty from any emotion and his body looking dull. Suddenly, the man looked as he was going to yell but a silent scream erupted from his mouth and his head exploded into a million butterflies.
Blaine yelled and started running, the body following him, butterflies still coming out of the body like he was nothing, like it was just a transport for something that wasnt him. Another form appeared, and once again it looked exactly like Blaine, except that he was covered in thorns, his feet glued to the ground by roots and moss and mushrooms. Blaine ran faster, trying to escape the dull body behind him and not wanting to see what was going to happen to this one. But the second he arrived next to the body, roots and branches erupted from the ground and encircled it, trapping him and making it disappear into the ground.
Blaine fell backward at the force of the roots taking the body under, his eyes wide with fear. His bare feet already hurt from the running, and his hands were a little scratched from the fall, but Blaine stood up and started running again. It was a nightmare, it felt like every fear he ever had was coming to life, was coming to haunt him and hunt him. He didnt want to be a dull body with no mind of his own, he didnt want to be trapped as an earth child with no choice. Blaine ran again, and the more he moved the more nightmares appeared. A representation of Kurt popped out of nowhere, he was thin and pale, he looked tired, like sadness had taken a constant place on his face. He was thin, thinner than usual, and Blaine reached out to him, he couldnt walk past Kurt and not touch him. But his hand couldnt touch Kurt, couldnt hold him and save him, not anymore. Blaine had failed his duty and this was the result.
Blaine tried to remind himself that it was just the representation of his nightmare, that it wasnt the truth, but tears were already falling freely on his cheeks. They blurred his vision as he stumbled forward, not wanting to see what would happen to this version of Kurt. Another Kurt appeared, happy, healthy, strong, and confident. Blaine noticed his own ghost behind the man, trying to be there for him, trying to fulfill his duty but failing because Kurt had never needed him, because Kurt was his own person and he could save himself, because he didnt needed Blaines help.
Blaine furiously brushed his tears with his forearms and walked forward fast, his insides churning and twisting in pain. Blaine walked, blinded by the pain and the tears, not seeing where he was going.
The fog started to disappear, and Blaine saw a crossroad right in front of him. There were no indications, no directions. He had three roads he could choose from. In a leap of faith, Blaine went left, an arch made of rock appearing. Blaine walked right through it, and found himself in the middle of a field. He recognized the road farther down, it lead to a tiny village Blaine had slept once in.
A loud thunder broke the silence around him and Blaine looked up, seeing a sky heavy with clouds. Several lightning strikes pierced the sky, followed by a growling thunder, loud and challenging. The sky became dark blue, the clouds growing and fattening. Suddenly the sky was split in two by a lightning strike that shocked Blaine, electrocuting him and cutting his breathing for several long seconds. He felt all the strings being cut one by one, freeing him from his duty, delivering him from being just a present. He felt life through the lighting, life being punched into him. 2,000 volts power forcing him to accept life as a mortal, not as a child of earth, as a human. His body shook under the electrostatic discharge, making his convulse and fall to the ground, unconscious.
When Blaine woke up several hours later, a warm rain was falling on him, washing any traces of what had happened off his body. Washing Blaine from his fears and tears, from the pain and the nightmares.
Blaine noticed the lightning figures going from above his heart to his chest and ribcage, following the veins and creating a perfect Lichtenberg figure. He had on his skin the tattoo of a lightening bolt with all the ramifications they sometimes had. Blaine felt light, he felt empty, free. The tattoo was the sign, the sign that Blaine was now his own person, that he was being given a chance to make his own choices. For everyone else, it would be a sign that Blaine had nearly died, but for him, it was the sign that he had been given life.
Blaine stayed in the little town for a year, a nice old woman agreeing to give him a bed if he helped her with chores around the house. Helping the woman wasnt difficult and it gave Blaine enough time to think, to be curious and to learn. He found out that no matter how much of a free person he was now, he still felt a pull toward the garden and the woods. He felt like, when he was lying on the grass, he could breathe a little bit easier. The old woman noticed all details of course, and pushed him to take gardening lessons and cabinetmaker classes. Blaine loved being able to make plants grow, he loved seeing them change from a small bulb into a colorful and majestic flower, but he revealed himself in sculpting wood. The way it came out under his hand, how he could sculpt entire scenery into a single bit of wood, how he could cut tender arabesques and still feel the roughness of the wood under his finger, brought him more joy than he could have ever thought. He thought about Kurt, he thought about him all the time, if he was being honest. Not being able to see the man was one of the hardest things about his day and night. He caught himself looking at things and immediately thinking about showing it to Kurt, happy to have found something to make the man smile, until it would occur to him that Kurt wasnt here, that he couldnt show him anything and then loneliness and hurt would settle heavily in Blaines chest. He missed Kurt more than anything, but even after a year he still wasnt sure that he wanted to see him, because it was Kurt or because of the bond they once shared. So Blaine stayed away, he traveled around the country, learning more about wood crafting, making stupid decisions just for the sake of it. He met new people, gentle ones, funny ones, horrible ones, and stupid ones. He saw a lot and experienced so much, until it wasnt enough anymore, until the hole in his chest had grown so big that it couldnt be filled with anything new.
Blaine decided to fly back to the US, to see Kurt one last time, to make sure he was happy. One last time, Blaine promised to himself.
Even after a year or so it still wasnt difficult to find Burt. The man still had the same schedule, opening the shop at 7 in the morning and closing it around 6 or 7 with an hour break for lunch. Blaine smiled at Burt and his schedule, it had looked silly all those years, to always follow the same pattern every day, maybe even monotonous. But right now, it felt safe, known, and homey. Blaine knew what was coming next, he knew when he could go to talk to him, and when the man would be buried under papers for insurances. Blaine sat as far away as he could, hiding behind a tree whose branches were leaning dangerously close to the ground under the heavy weight of snow. He could see the shop and people coming and going from it, yet he was almost sure that no one could see him from the shop. That was the point though: seeing but not being seen.
Blaine knew that Burt wouldnt remember him, it was part of the deal he had made. Thats why Blaine had decided not to go talk to him, not to find a stupid reason to walk in the shop and ask the man something. What would have been the point beside hurting himself? He was just here to make sure everyone was happy and healthy, nothing more, nothing less.
Blaine stayed where he was for a whole day, comfortable in the winter coat he was wearing and his ears safely tucked in his beanie. He saw Burt taking his lunch break, he saw him talking to his co-worker and patting them on the back, he saw him laughing and looking happier than ever. Blaine took a deep breath, and closed his eyes in relief. Burt was fine; he was more than that actually. It was good, it was supposed to be good. It felt wrong though. Blaine was supposed to be able to go over to the shop, to talk to Burt and have him to recognize him, Burt was supposed to look at him and see the boy he had raised. Instead, Blaine knew that the man would look at him with genuine gentleness, but it wouldnt be more than kindness toward a stranger. Because that was what Blaine was now, a stranger.
Blaine saw Carole driving to the shop and going out of her car to pick her husband up, Blaine held his breath. A tear rolled down his cheek and Blaine wiped his quickly with his sleeve. He had decided not to be a part of this family, he didnt have the right to feel remorse or regret.
Blaine saw them driving away and he sat on the snow, not caring that he was freezing now, still trying to sort out everything he had seen and felt this day. It was a blur, a mix of contradictory feelings and thoughts, his wants of belonging and the knowledge of not being able to.
Once Blaine saw all the lights being turned off and heard the shop being closed, the man stood up and walked away, wandering around the town. He didnt have to fear being recognized by anyone, he knew no one remembered him. Blaine walked around, the shops were exactly the same, the houses hadnt changed, and the people were still here, not looking any different than when he had left. It felt good, knowing that some things dont change, and no matter how long it had been, they are still here waiting for you. It also felt suffocating, things were still the same, they hadnt moved, hadnt changed when Blaine felt like he hadnt been the Blaine that had lived here in a while. In more way than one, Blaine wasnt the same Blaine that had lived here, but it wasnt just a matter of being human or not, it was a matter of who he was.
Blaine grabbed some coffee from a food truck and sat on a bench in a park, not wanting to go back to his hotel. He still had to see Kurt. It was supposed to be Christmas holidays; Kurt surely would have come back for this. Blaine had thought that maybe he would have caught a glimpse of him at the shop, but no such luck.
Even if it was still fairly early, the night was settling and the sky was now a darker shade of blue, forcing the lights to be turned on. The trees were all covered in Christmas lights, the decorations following all the branches and creating a long arc all through the main road of the park. The little bulbs were a warm yellow light in the dark night, shining from under the snow.
The park was nearly empty, save from few people that were probably going home. The silence was comfortable around him as he stayed on the cold bench. The snow made everything calmer, almost soothing, and the lights were a nice company.
Blaine was dreading seeing Kurt. He still had nightmares sometimes, of Kurt being unhealthy, of something, anything happening to him without Blaine knowing or being able to do anything. He had nightmares about learning that Kurt had died because of several causes that he could have prevented. In a way Blaine was relieved he didnt have to talk to Kurt. He didnt know what he couldve told him anyway.
Blaine sipped his coffee, not noticing someone approaching and sitting next to him. When Blaine turned his head to see who it was his heart skipped a beat and he breathed harshly.
"Do you mind if I sit here?" The man next to him asked, his voice a little higher than usual. Blaine could only nod. Kurt, Kurt was sitting next to him, a coffee in his glove covered hands. Blaine bit his lip and bowed his head down. He didnt know what to say or what to do. Kurt was obviously alive and healthy, his hair higher than ever on his head and his cheeks painted in red, probably because of how cold it was.
"Why did you stay outside of my fathers shop all day?" Kurt asked after a minute of silence. Blaine barely swallowed his coffee before coughing loudly, his throat burning at the sensation.
"I…"
"I saw you from a window, it was you wasnt it?" Blaine didnt talk and instead frowned at Kurt. The man fidgeted under Blaines stare, and instead asked another question that was burning his lips. "We know each other, right? Im sorry, this must sound like a line but," Kurt tilted his head to the side to study Blaine. "Its just that you look so familiar." Kurt giggled to himself, into his coffee, before turning back to Blaine.
"Im sorry, this is stupid, Im being stupid. Have a nice evening."
"Wait!" Blaine didnt know what he was going to say or do, he just knew that right now he couldnt let Kurt go away, he couldnt let him walk away and pretend they werent them. He had this hole in his chest and it just wasnt going anywhere. Blaine knew, Blaine knew that this hole was Kurt shaped, and that no matter how much more he tried to pretend, he would still yearn for that man. Blaine had had life, Blaine had had time to find out who he was and what it was to be himself, to be free and to make his own decisions. He had put aside this empty space inside of him to the back of his mind because he just thought that this was what you were supposed to feel when you missed someone. It wasnt that though. It was more, it had always been more when it came to Kurt.
Blaine stood up and moved toward Kurt. They were alone, in the park, hidden behind a large tree, standing on the snow that was covering some grass that was probably forbidden to walk on. Blaine walked to Kurt as the man waited for him to say something or to explain himself. His steps were muffled by the snow as he approached.
Blaine brought his hand to Kurts face and almost expected for him to flinch and shy away, but Kurt stayed still, waiting to see what would happen next. He also was looking straight at Blaine, his eyes glued to the mans features.
Blaines eyes started to water as he took in the man in front of him. Kurt, his Kurt, was standing right in front of him and letting him touch his face, and he wasnt shying away. Blaines hand was warm where he was touching Kurts cheek and it felt right. Even if they were freezing, if they hadnt said a word to each other for seconds now, being here next to Kurt it was right. Having Kurt in his life, touching Kurt, and smiling at him was right. How could he had thought, even for a second, that he might want something else when Kurt was right here, as he had been all Blaines life.
"Oh, Kurt, I was so stupid." Blaine choked, tears rolling down his cheeks as Kurt stepped closer on instinct. "I chose you, always. You are my choice." At the words, the snow under Blaines feet started to glow, a different shade of green flashing one after the other before circling up Blaines legs, making its way up to Blaines abdomen. Blaines body was bathed in a warm green light, following every vein on his body, touching every nerve and diluting itself in Blaines blood.
Blaine let go of Kurts face, afraid that it might hurt him. Blaine looked down at his hand and indeed the glow was still making its way down to his fingers, following the intricate path of Blaines veins. It wasnt hurting him though, the light coming from the ground wasnt hurting, it was filling him with something he hadnt felt in a year. Blaine gazed at Kurt who was standing right in front of him, his two hands over his mouth and his eyes wide with shock.
Shortly, a string of light burst out of Blaines chest and settled on Kurt, locking them together, quickly followed by dozens and dozens of small strings coming out of Blaines body and going right to Kurts, bringing them closer and closer every time a string locked itself on Kurts body, until they were a breath apart.
The glow was affecting them both, and Blaine knew he was experiencing being attached to Kurt once again, he knew he was being given the power of being Kurts, he had life and he had choices. He had had the chance to walk away and to forget, but he chose Kurt, he would always choose Kurt. Blaine welcomed the string of Fate, and let them tie him once again with the man in front of him. Blaine reached out to Kurt, to give him something to hold and to hang on to. Kurt took Blaines hand and gripped it tightly. Blaine could feel fear in Kurts grip, and he locked eyes with him, trying to reassure him with only a glance and their hands, clasped tight.
The glow stopped abruptly, Kurt and Blaine stumbling on the ground, the strength of the glow leaving them. They breathed harshly for a minute, weak from what had just happened. Blaine was still trying to control his heart when Kurt launched himself at him, and pinned him on the ground. The man looked at him with rage and Kurt slapped Blaine right there and then, leaving a bright red mark on the mans cheek.
"Where the hell where you, Blaine?" Kurt spat, Blaines eyes growing big at his name, the slap almost forgotten. He tried to open his mouth to answer, but instead Kurt sneaked himself closer to Blaine and covered Blaines body with his. "I cant believe you left, you idiot." Blaine encircled the mans body with his arms and tightened his grip, knowing that he had plenty of time to explain what had happened to him.