"Hey, Kurt,"�Finn said, coming into the kitchen and heavily dropping a stack of books and notecards onto the table.

Kurt reluctantly looked up from his homework to give Finn a lingering glare. He'd come down from his room to actually get something done.�Up in his room, Blaine had been trying to video chat with him, and while the possibilities that could have brought about were enticing, they weren't exactly productive.�When Blaine had started e-mailing shirtless pictures of himself as further incentive, Kurt had done the only logical thing he could think of and left. He was an eighteen year old boy and had only marginal self-restraint on good days, after all.

"What do you want, Finn?"

"I need to get this paper written. I was kind of hoping that getting out of my room might actually make that happen."

"Yeah, I've heard that internet porn doesn't do a lot for productivity,"�Kurt replied dryly, dropping his attention back down to his painfully long and tedious government assignment.

"Oh, don't act like you never look at porn." Finn was taking great pains to look affronted as he grabbed a can of Pepsi out of the fridge, scoffing loudly and furrowing his eyebrows.

"I don't."

"Why not?"�Finn asked incredulously, plopping himself down and jostling the table. Kurt raised an eyebrow at him and readjusted his things that had shifted out of place when Finn sat down. He really had no idea how big and awkward he was, did he?

"Because it grosses me out," Kurt said with a little shrug. It still did. Even after all he and Blaine had done together, watching porn still didn't do it for him.

"You're missing out,"�Finn grinned, the glassy-eyed, dopey expression on his face telling Kurt that he was remembering something particularly memorable from whatever he'd been watching earlier. Disgusting.

"Well, I guess it's just my loss then," Kurt replied blandly, harshly flipping a page in his book.

They really hadn't talked much since Finn had barged into Kurt's room earlier that week, catching him in the middle of giving Blaine head and in turn giving Kurt a red eye for the next twenty-four hours. Honestly, Kurt had nothing to say to Finn other than maybe to ask what color he wanted his coffin to be. For a good twenty minutes, they both worked diligently on their homework. Kurt had almost finished his assignment when Finn sighed the kind of sigh one lets out when they're trying to get someone's attention or sympathy. A few moments passed and he did it again, even louder and more annoyingly this time.

"What do you want, Finn?" Kurt asked, not looking up from his assignment.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Oh goody.

"About what?"

"About..." he paused for way too long, "You and Blaine's sex life." Kurt dropped his pen and intentionally made a show of slowly dragging his gaze up to meet Finn's, looking as irritated as possible.

"No, you can't talk to me about that. Ever."

"Come on." Kurt slapped a hand down on the table.

"Did you think that I�was going to actually want to have a conversation with you about this? I mean, seriously, Finn. I know you're pretty dense, but this is ridiculous even for you."

"I just need some help, okay? God, you don't have to be so mean to me all the time."

"Well you don't have to be so-"

"No, you've been a total shit to me lately and I'm sick of it. I'm sorry that I walked in on you and Blaine. Really, I am, and I've apologized about a million times already." He had, but it didn't make the awfulness of that moment just go away. Kurt was pretty sure that Blaine still hadn't looked at Finn since and now Kurt was afraid to open his eyes whenever he dropped to his knees in front of his boyfriend.

"If I had just barged in on you and Rachel without knocking-"

"I did knock."

"Okay, whatever. If I had walked in on you and Rachel doing something, you would be equally mortified, I'm sure."

"In order for that to happen, Rachel and I would actually have to do things,"�Finn said, "And that's what I�want to talk to you about."

"But, I�heard about what happened,"�Kurt replied, outwardly shuddering at the details Rachel had let slip when she'd been talking with himself and Mercedes the other day.�There were things that Kurt just did not need to know about Finn. Ever.

Ever.

"She gave me one handjob back in June, and I've had some seriously superhuman patience ever since then waiting to see if she would want to do something again. I didn't suggest the blowjob, she did, and then all of that�happened,"�Finn said, taking his own turn to shudder. Even though it was pretty much the last conversation Kurt wanted to have, Finn looked so distressed that he shut his book and turned his attention over to his obviously conflicted step-brother.

"So, what did you want to know?"

"When did you guys start fooling around?" Kurt took a deep breath, hesitating. "Come on, Kurt. If you were straight and had a girlfriend, we would talk about this stuff all the time.�I don't care that you're gay. I don't care that you have a boyfriend. I care that you and your significant other have gone way farther than Rachel and I have and I want to know when it started."

Kurt nodded, a little taken aback by Finn's honesty, and decided to just go with it. What did he have to lose?�Finn had already seen them together and had learned way more about his and Blaine's sex life in the last week than he should have, so what was the harm in indulging his questions?

"At the beginning of summer break. We really didn't have the alone time before then, and honestly, I wasn't ready until then anyway."

"What made you ready?"

"I don't know, I just was all of a sudden. If Blaine had been pushy from the start, it would've really turned me off. But I don't think that he was ready yet either."

"Oh, he was ready," Finn laughed a little, prompting Kurt to raise an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Last spring, after you two started dating, Blaine was always walking around with this look on his face."

"What look?" Okay, now Kurt was getting angry. Why did it always take Finn so damned long to make a point?

"The same look that I have on my face all the time, like he was two seconds away from exploding," Finn said, "It's not a bad thing, Kurt. Stop looking so pissed. All it means is that he wanted you, but he respected you enough to wait."

"Do you respect Rachel enough to keep waiting?" Kurt asked, desperate to turn the conversation away from him and Blaine.

"Of course. I love Rachel. It's just... I don't understand what the problem is. I'm not forcing her at all, and any time I make any moves to, you know, move things along, she just freaks out."

Kurt took a long sip of his water. He'd had so many plans for the evening: to finish his homework, eat dinner, jerk off with Blaine via webcam, and then go to bed. It would have been such a wonderful evening, but now the absolute last thing he was thinking about was Blaine or the way he'd been flexing in those pictures he'd sent or-

Focus, Kurt. Focus.

It was time to take the conversation to a much more intimate place. A place he was definitely not looking forward to.

"When you try to move things along, what do you do?" Finn flushed and looked down at his hands. "Finn, you walked in on me with Blaine's dick in my mouth the other day. I think we're past needing to be embarrassed around each other about anything. At all."

"Right..."�Finn said, coughing a little and taking a long sip of his soda, "I, you know, let her know how excited she gets me."

Oh lord. It was even worse than Kurt could have guessed.

"Well no wonder you're having problems,"�Kurt rolled his eyes, "Rachel's a girl. You can't go around just poking her with your hard-on and expecting her to get all excited about it. Not when you two aren't doing sexual things on a regular basis. Right now, she probably just sees that part of you as this big scary thing that's going to hurt like hell the first time you put it inside of her. And she has no idea what it's like to have one, so she has no idea what to do with one. Just jabbing her with it isn't going to make her want to put it in her mouth,�Finn."

"Well, whenever I try to touch her down there, she freaks out, too."

"And how do you approach that?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you try to,"�Kurt started, wondering if he could drown himself in what remained of his glass of water. Probably not enough to get the job done. Damn it.�"When you try to finger her, what do you do?"

"I, you know, slide my hand between her legs and-" Finn made this strange downward swooping movement with his hand that was equal parts disturbing and unnecessary. Kurt rushed to intervene.

"Oh my god, Finn. She isn't Santana. You need to ease into it. I'm gay and even I know this stuff," Kurt cried out exasperatedly.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?"�Finn asked, "I�mean, we always make out for a long time first and now she lets me touch her boobs whenever I want, so I always do that before�I try going down there."

"Give her a massage, tell her she's beautiful, tell her how much you love her, what parts of her body turn you on. Just do something. She has to know how much you love her so she knows that she can trust you."

Kurt had no idea where this stuff was coming from. Apparently he'd seen enough chick flicks over the years to have gleaned something from them. The thing was, though, that he knew that everything he was saying was true.�Rachel was his friend on most days, and he knew that she was really nervous about getting more physical with Finn. She was a smart girl and knew that one thing would eventually lead to another, and even though at one point in time she'd thought that she was ready for sex, now that it was right in her lap (or poking into her leg, apparently), it had gotten pretty scary for her.

"Is that what Blaine did with you?" Kurt narrowed his eyes and sucked in a harsh breath.

"I'm not a girl, Finn," he spat.

"I know that! I just know that he was ready before you were and-" Finn was stumbling over his words, his face turning even redder, and Kurt couldn't feel sorry for him, because honestly, what in the hell had he been thinking even broaching this conversation in the first place?

"It wasn't that I wasn't ready.�I thought about it all the time and was pretty much a walking hard-on until we did start to do things. We would have started fooling around sooner if we just would have had time, but those were the circumstances and once we did have the time,�I was more than ready." Kurt wanted to slip into a state of remembrance and think back on every steamy moment of that sunny summer afternoon, but then Finn was opening that giant mouth of his and ruining everything. Again. As per usual.

"What do you guys do together?"

"Seriously, Finn?�Why don't you go watch a gay porno or something? I'm sure that there are entire sections devoted to it on the sites you go to. You'll learn all about it there,"�Kurt said, knowing that if Finn actually followed his advice, he'd see all of the really scary stuff that had made Kurt such a nervous wreck about sex back in the day.

"Shit, sorry.�That's not what I�meant. What I�meant to ask was what you guys did during your first time together."

"I'm not telling you that." Kurt felt his face go hot, the heat spreading down his neck and god knows where else.

"Why not?"

"Because it's private," Kurt said, hurrying to change the subject, "Look, you two have been together on and off. There have been trust issues on both ends. You need to prove to Rachel that she can trust you; that you care about her."

"And how do I do that? I tell her that I�love her all the time."

"Don't tell her. Show her."

"How?"

"Take care of her first," Kurt said.

"What do you mean?" Finn asked, his face screwing into a look of confusion that two years ago Kurt would have found adorable.�Now all he wanted was to punch him in his big stupid head.

"Give her an orgasm, Finn, and do it soon,"�Kurt said.

"We have a date tonight," Finn said hesitantly, looking down at his hands again.

"Perfect. Do it then. Now, can I finish my homework, please?"

Please.

"There was one more thing I wanted to talk to you about."

Kurt actually wanted to do his AP Government homework now. He wanted to do it so fucking badly. He was so excited about it, in fact, that he had the book halfway open already and then was forced to dramatically slam it back shut.

"Yes?"

"I know that you heard about what happened with Rachel. She told you, right?" Kurt nodded. "What did she tell you?"

"That she was giving you a blowjob and you tried to murder her via asphyxiation with your penis. Or that's pretty much the way she made it sound. It happens, Finn, and it's not nearly as big of a deal as Rachel's making it out to be."

"Yeah, I know. But that's not what had actually happened,"�Finn said, looking down at his hands and sighing heavily,�"She said that she wanted to give me a blowjob, which obviously really surprised me, but I�was so excited that I�just said yes. But when she started, it was weird."

"What do you mean weird?" Okay, Finn had managed to pique his interest.

"Just the stuff she was doing. Like, slapping it against her tongue."�Well, well, well, it appeared as though Finn wasn't the only one in that relationship who was frequenting the filthy underbelly of the internet.

"Porno moves?"

"Pretty much. And it was weird, because watching all of that stuff in the videos is always hot, but having it actually happen to me was weird. Like, really weird," Finn told him, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table.

"Because it wasn't something that Rachel would normally do?" Kurt suggested.

"Exactly,"�Finn said, sighing a little, "But anyways, I was trying really hard to get into it, because, hey, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob for the first time. But then..."

"What happened?" Kurt asked leaning forward a little and mirroring Finn's pose.

Even though he hated himself at the moment, juicy gossip was good, no matter what the source. The story Rachel had concocted had been so dramatic and ridiculous, but Rachel was telling it so exaggerated details were something that they'd all become used to. The fact that she had made up the story to cover for something else was something that Kurt needed to know about. Like now.

"She had kind of a lot of it in her mouth, and she started to pull back and," Finn sucked in a deep breath, suddenly looking pained, "She scraped her teeth the whole way."

"Oh no."

"And I don't mean that her teeth accidentally bumped it. I mean she used all of her teeth on my thing on purpose. I freaked out and yelled and she just kind of ran away. It was awful and it scared the hell out of me.�I thought she was going to bite it off or something."

"Well, if you've just been poking her with it for the last three months, she might want to,"�Kurt said, practically mumbling as he tried not to think about what that must have felt like, because OW. Kurt liked it when Blaine lightly scraped his teeth on the underside of his cock every once and awhile, but definitely not the way Finn had described it. "So, that's really awful, but why did you want to talk to me about it? Hoping to commiserate?"

"No,"�Finn shook his head,�"I was kind of hoping you could do me a favor."

"And that is?"

"Could you talk to Rachel? You know, maybe give her some pointers or something?" There was no way he could be serious.

"You want me to give blowjob tips to your girlfriend? Absolutely not." Kurt shrank back in his chair and opened his text book, hoping that Finn would get the hint that the conversation was over.

"Come on,�Kurt. I didn't see much, but Blaine was clearly enjoying what you were doing the other day."

"Stop talking,"�Kurt said, his eyes wide and his mouth refusing to shut all the way because he was, you know, fucking horrified.

"Rachel's too proud to ask for help on her own, and now she obviously knows that the internet isn't her friend here. She's not used to not being good at things, and I know that this is really bothering her.�I was just thinking that if you offered, then maybe-"

"No."

Should he try saying it in another language? Non. Nein. Nyet. Would that help? Because Finn clearly wasn't getting the point.

"Come on. I�would do it for you."

"Really?�If I was straight and you were gay, you would give my girlfriend advice on how to give me good head?�Really, Finn?"

"Will you at least think about it? Please? Do it for Rachel, or consider it an apology freaking punching the crap out of me the other day.�I still have a bruise." And if he didn't shut up immediately, he was going to get another one. Or twelve.

"Fine, I'll think about it,"�Kurt lied just to shut him up.

"Really?" Finn's face lit up full of hope and sunshine and the promise of getting his dick properly sucked.

"Really," Kurt lied again, "Now can I please finish my homework?"

"Sure,"�Finn said with a little smile, "Thanks for talking to me, Kurt. And I'll try what you said tonight."

"Please don't let me know how it goes."

Finn nodded and started to chew on the end of his pen as he dove back into his paper. Kurt slowly let out a ragged breath and tried to cover it by downing the rest of his water.

That could have been worse. A lot worse, given who his conversation partner had been. Now he just had to come up with an excuse as to why he wouldn't be giving Rachel blowjob advice. One, it would be awkward beyond belief. Two, Rachel wasn't exactly good about taking orders from others. Three, the person he was going to be helping her blow was his step-brother and something about that was just weird. And wrong. And Kurt wanted nothing to do with it.

Six hours later, Kurt was leaning back in his desk chair, his cheeks flushed crimson, a glassy-eyed, dopey expression on his face, and an ear bud plugged into his left ear.

"God bless the internet,"�Blaine laughed, his voice resonating roughly in Kurt's ear as he smiled through the computer screen.

"If there actually is a god, I'm pretty sure that he would not be happy about the way we use the internet,"�Kurt answered, dropping the wadded up Kleenex in his hand into the garbage can at his feet. It clipped the edge and dropped to the floor. Kurt glared at it. That garbage can was clearly out to destroy him one illicit deposit at a time. He huffed loudly and bent down to pick it up.

"Everything okay over there?"�Blaine asked.

"Everything's fine,"�Kurt grumbled through gritted teeth. Distantly, he heard the front door slam shut and footsteps rush hard and plodding up the stairs. It was almost eleven, and Burt and Carole had been in bed for over an hour. Finn was back from his date and apparently wanted to wake up the entire household. Kurt bit back a groan of complaint as Blaine yanked his shirt back over his head.

"Whiner," Blaine teased. Kurt fixed him with his fiercest bitch glare and stood to yank his pajama pants back up.�Now it was Blaine's turn to complain.

"Whiner," Kurt retorted. A soft yet insistent knock sounded on Kurt's door. "Oh, this should be fun."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow?"�Blaine asked.

"I'm not done with you yet. Just hold on,"�Kurt smiled, pulling his shirt on as he headed for the door. No sooner had he unlocked and pulled the door open than Finn was rushing into the room and wrapping up Kurt in a crushing, spine-cracking hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Finn repeated, not letting Kurt go.

"Um, why are you thanking me? And hugging me? And still hugging me?" Kurt asked, giving Finn a couple of light pats on the back, "Finn, seriously. Let me go."

"Sorry, I just..."�Finn trailed off, looking happier than Kurt had ever seen him. He was practically glowing.

Oh.

"I take it that my advice worked?"�Kurt asked, wanting to add that he had specifically told Finn not to tell him about how it'd gone.

"I didn't need to use it, because you talking to Rachel totally worked. Like, oh my god." Kurt was pretty sure that he was now wearing Finn's typical trademark expression of complete confusion.

"I didn't talk to Rachel."

"You didn't?" And Finn took the look back for himself.

"When would I�have? I was with you until you left, and I certainly didn't rush to call her before you got to her house,"�Kurt said.

"Well, if you didn't, then who did?�Because seriously. I can't even come up with the right words to describe how amazing-" Kurt reached up to slap a hand over Finn's mouth.

"I don't want the details."�

Okay, now he knew how Finn had felt when he'd learned more than he wanted to know about Kurt and Blaine's sex life. It was awful and awkward, and Kurt made the immediate decision to never overshare ever again. Unless Finn was being particularly douchey and needed to be punished, of course.

Movement out of the corner of Kurt's eye caught his attention and he looked over at his computer to see Blaine waving wildly. Kurt walked over and unplugged his headphones, Finn trailing after him.

"Uh, hey Blaine,"�Finn said, turning to Kurt, "You two videochat at night when everyone is asleep?" Kurt cleared his throat.

"So, what were you waving at us about?" he asked quickly, trying not to blush and avoiding Finn's question.

"Um, I�know where Rachel got the advice from," Blaine said, suddenly looking a little bashful.

- - -
"Hello, Blaine. I'm so glad that you could come over," Rachel said, opening the door widely and stepping aside to let him enter.

"You said that there was an emergency about Kurt. What's going on?" Blaine asked, following Rachel as she started to lead him through the house.

"There's no emergency. Well, there is, but not about Kurt. I'm sorry that I lied, but given the fact that you and I used to be romantically involved-"

"We went on one date."

"-I assumed that you might not be too keen on running right over to help me with my problem,"�Rachel continued as if Blaine hadn't interrupted her, "I can't ask the girls in Glee because they're either as inexperienced as I am or they would laugh at me. And I can't ask�Kurt because Finn is his step-brother, and I know that it would put him in an awkward position. So, you were the only person I could think of who could help me."

"Help you with what?" Blaine asked as they stepped into the kitchen. Rachel stepped up to the table and gestured toward it with a Vanna White-esque motion. Sitting in the middle of the kitchen table was a bunch of bananas.

- - -
"It was you?" Finn asked, "Dude, I'm buying you a present. Whatever you want. Do you want a new car?�I'll totally buy you a new car."

"You can't afford a car, you idiot,"�Kurt spat, his judgmental gaze not leaving Blaine's face.

"Whatever. I'll find a way,"�Finn said.

"Really not necessary,"�Blaine said, "But, you know, maybe some coffee or something would be nice because that was without a doubt the most awkward hour of my entire life."

"More awkward than what happened the other day?" Kurt asked, pointing to his eye and tapping the tip of his finger against his cheekbone a few times for good measure.

"One of Rachel's dads walked in the back door while I had a banana down my throat, so it was at least as awkward as that." Kurt rolled his eyes, unable to see how Blaine could possibly find that as awkward as him coming in Kurt's eye in front of Finn.

"That's a great move, by the way,"�Finn said, still smiling like a kid who just got to Disney World, "Seriously Kurt, you're one lucky guy."

"Go away. Now. And we're never talking about this again,"�Kurt said. Finn nodded a little and gave Kurt another hug, trapping his arms against his sides and squeezing tightly.

"That was for Blaine. Thank you!" Finn said, bending down to wave directly at the webcam before practically bounding from the room, shutting the door loudly behind himself.

"You gave blowjob advice to Rachel Berry? How did you possibly agree to that?" Kurt asked, sitting back down and plugging his headphones back in to make their conversation a little more private. Blaine shrugged and settled back in his chair.

"What can I say? I like bananas."