June 8, 2012, 10:43 p.m.
I Didn't Get In
3x22 "Goodbye" reaction drabble. Kurt tells Blaine of his rejection. I know there have been a ton of these, but I am still bitter about this epiosde.
K - Words: 959 - Last Updated: Jun 08, 2012 710 0 0 0 Categories: Angst, Cotton Candy Fluff, Tags: hurt/comfort,
“I didn’t get in.”
Kurt’s words hung in the hair like a thick smoke, suffocating him as he tried to smile and congratulate Rachel as convincingly as he could. Rachel opened her mouth to apologize, to come up with a new plan, but he stopped her. Kurt reached forward and pulled her into a tight hug. He didn’t want her to feel guilty for succeeding and somewhere in him he was truly happy for her, but right now old insecurities and resentments threatened to overtake him. He quickly left the choir room, leaving Finn and Rachel behind to console each other.
He walked in a daze down the deserted hallway, tears brimming in his eyes as he clenched the envelope that held every shattered dream he spent his entire life working toward. He has been too confident. Madame Thibideaux’s praise of his audition had given him false hope and Kurt kicked himself for foolishly assuming that her words meant something was guaranteed. Rachel had CHOKED. She had messed up her audition twice and proceeded to hassle Madame Thibideaux into giving her the privilege of a third chance. Kurt couldn’t help but feel angry and bitter. Why did he feel like Rachel’s success always came at the expense of his? Even her failures that were never really failures overshadowed his successes.
She is your friend. Kurt reminded himself. She is your best friend who got into the school of her dreams. Stop it. Tears welled up in his eyes even more. He quickly wiped a stray tear away with the heel of his palm and blinked his eyes. Kurt felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, pulling him out of his melancholy fog. He dug it out of his pocket and looked at the message.
From Blaine:
I’ll be waiting by my car whenever you guys are done. See you soon!
Kurt hitched in a ragged breath. His tears fell freely from his eyes and he tapped out a brief response. Blaine would be disappointed. Kurt dreaded telling Blaine that he had a big, fat, failure for a boyfriend; a soon-to-be Lima Loser. How could Blaine, perfect, funny, supremely talented Blaine, not be embarrassed by his failure of a boyfriend who couldn't even get into college?
As he walked across the parking lot, he saw Blaine leaning against the car door, flicking at something absentmindedly on his iPhone. Blaine glanced up at the sound of approaching footsteps, smiling brightly and excitedly as he saw Kurt walking towards him.
“So?!” Blaine asked excitedly, bouncing on his toes in anticipation of the good news.
Kurt stared at Blaine, eyes void of any joy, watering with unshed tears.
“I…I didn’t get in.” Kurt forced out in a strained voice. He huffed in defeat and lamely held his letter out to Blaine. Blaine’s mouth hung open in disbelief. His heart constricted, unable to move or fathom the reality of Kurt’s words. He grabbed the piece of paper from Kurt’s hand.
Mr. Hummel, we regret to inform you…
Blaine’s heart broke as he looked up at Kurt, who tried to discreetly wipe a tear off his cheekbone and attempted to avoid eye contact.
“Kurt—“
“They didn’t want me,” Kurt muttered. His voice cracked and as he looked into Blaine’s wide eyes, the tears he had attempted to hide behind a façade of strength broke through.
Blaine rushed forward and pulled Kurt against him, tightly wrapping his arms around his back. Kurt began to sob freely into Blaine’s shoulder and neck, clinging to him like a lifeline.
“I was so stupid…” Kurt gasped out. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” He sobbed into Blaine’s sweater. Blaine gripped him tighter, soothingly stroking the hair at the nape of Kurt’s neck.
“You aren’t stupid. You’re amazing. You are talented and beautiful and kind and intelligent. We’ll figure out the rest, I promise,” he whispered, placing a kiss in Kurt’s hair.
After what felt like forever, Kurt’s sobs quieted and tears subsided. He sighed and reluctantly loosened his grip on Blaine. He lifted his head from Blaine’s shoulder, leaving a trail of tears and snot on Blaine’s cardigan. Kurt reached up to attempt and wipe it off but Blaine stopped him.
“Don’t worry about it. That’s the least of my worries.”
Kurt nodded with another sigh and reached to intertwine his fingers with Blaine’s.
“Where do you want to go?” Blaine asked, leading Kurt to the passenger door. “My house is empty if you don’t want to tell your dad yet.” Kurt shook his head.
“I need to tell him before he hears it from Finn…”
Blaine nodded and opened the door for Kurt. Kurt squeezed his hand, leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss on Blaine’s lips.
“Thank you. I don’t know what I would do with out you,” he said with such sincerity Blaine caught himself releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
“I love you, Kurt. I’ll always be here for you. Not matter what.” Blaine said, his hazel eyes fierce with the truth of his words.
“I know. I love you too.” Kurt smiled genuinely.
He climbed into the passenger seat and Blaine shut the door. He crossed in front of his Jeep and hopped into the driver’s seat. As they made their way to Kurt’s house, Blaine reached across the console and grasped Kurt’s left hand, rubbing his knuckles.
He thought he idea of Kurt leaving him for a year was painful and he had selfishly wished they wouldn’t have to be parted, but not like this. Watching the rug be pulled out from underneath Kurt and break him down like this was something he wished he never had to see. They would figure this out. They had to.