o, I think I messed up. Big messed up. Kurt's out on the back porch and Daddy's pouring him a glass of the juice I'm not allowed to drink. Wine. Not juice. And. I really messed up.

And he told me to wait here at the kitchen table which is really horrible because I sort of want to be in my room right now. On my bed. In a ball. Curled around Lizzie.

But Daddy said to stay here. And wait. And now he's gone outside with the wine and—let me peek. Yes, he's kissing Kurt's forehead, so that's good. But Kurt's still sitting out there and here comes Daddy, oh my goodness.

"I'msorryImessedupandmadeKurtcryIdidn'tmeanto." Well, that came out really fast, didn't it?

"I know you didn't mean to, Buddy but we still need to talk about this."

"I just want to go trick or treating and I thought since Kurt sewed such cool stuff he could make me a cool Lizzie costume and I don't understand why that's such a bad thing and why he's crying and on the back porch and drinking wine when we're in here and—I really messed up. I just want candy."

I like when Daddy smiles at me, but I think I'm still in trouble. "Let's back up. Why was Nana here?"

"Because," and I slap my hand over my mouth because oh my goodness, I remember why Nana was here and now I think I know how I made Kurt cry and I am the worst boy to ever live on Prospect Avenue. 601 Prospect Avenue, Lima, Ohio 45804.

Kurt's daddy just died and they just had the fun'ral and—"because she was helping take care of me while you took care of Kurt. Oh Daddy, I really messed up."

"You did. And I'm disappointed in you."

"I'm…Daddy," and I do not want to cry right now. Daddy has his serious face on and I need to be brave. It's not his angry face.

"Ade, even if Kurt's dad hadn't just died and even if he was our typical happy, whole Kurt, you have no business asking him – expecting him – to just whip up some elaborate Halloween costume for you. Especially not a few days before trick or treat."

"But we talked about it before! Before Burt got sick! We did, Daddy. He said he'd make me a Lizzie costume and I sorta—I sorta took it as a promise." Shoot. This feels awful.

"Do you think he meant it as a promise before Burt got sick?"

"Yes."

"So do I. But sometimes, honey…" Daddy's eyes are as big as mine feel right now and I really wish he'd just give me a hug becau—oh. His hugs are so warm. Sometimes I think he can read my mind.

"I'm sorry, Daddy. I didn't mean to make him cry."

"You didn't make him cry. Not really. I think he really wants to fulfill that promise for you but it got lost in all of the other stuff and he's feeling sort of crappy about it too. Because if I know Kurt, the thought that he's not only let you down, but also missed a chance to make the best Halloween costume in our neighborhood, well."

"Maybe I should go outside and talk to him."

"Let's wait for him to come to you this time, okay?" I don't like waiting. "You know, store bought costumes aren't that bad. You'll still get to go trick or treating."

Daddy laughed when he saw my face when he talked about store bought costumes and mumbled something about Kurt having too much 'fluence on me, whatever that means, and now Kurt's coming in and suddenly I feel all twisted up again because I love Kurt and I still feel really awful. So, I decide to try something. "Kurt? Can you wait right here for a minute?"

"Ye—"

"I'm really sorry and—I need you—" I hold up my finger and run upstairs to my room super-duper fast and get what I want from my school bag and am back down in a flash. I bet he didn't even have time to finish his word. "Here." I hand him a dum-dum lollipop I got from school today. Cream soda. "Cream soda's my favorite."

"Mine too."

"It is not."

"It is too! Cream soda and root beer. If you try them together, it's like a root beer float."

"I don't have any root beer ones right now."

"You will after trick or treating, I bet." He opens up his arms for me to sit on his lap and he has one of the best laps of all of ever, so here I am, on his lap. "Do you know what a compromise is?"

"No."

"It's when two people who have different ideas about something mush their ideas together to make a third idea. One person gets a little of their way, the other person gets a little of theirs and in the end, everyone's happy."

"I like this idea already."

Kurt looks up at Daddy who has that weird look on his face he gets sometimes when Kurt and I have talks. It looks like he has gas, but he still smiles. "Blaine, is tonight bath night?"

"It is, but it can be skipped."

I'm really liking this idea already.

"Okay, let's go to Target—"

"I said I don't want a costume from the store!!" I'm not liking this idea after all.

"Adrian James. If you want to go trick or treating at all, you will—"

Kurt put his hand up to stop Daddy from talking, which woah. If I ever did that, I'd be in so much trouble! "I didn't say we're getting a costume from the store, Ade. I said we're going to Target. We're going to get something to help us make our costume." Kurt pulls a napkin from the holder and motions to Daddy to get him a pen. And then he starts drawing.

I love watching Kurt draw. Maybe someday I'll be as good as he is.

And he draws me in a sweat suit. And then looks at me. I look back at him because I don't get it.

"No? You don't want to go as a jogger?"

"Noooo…Kuuuurrrrt…"

"Easy big guy. I'm only teasing. Okay, so we'll take this sweat suit and then add stuff to it. If you didn't get a Lizzie monster costume, but maybe…a friend of Lizzie monster. What would it look like?"

"Oh. Um. Spots. And he's blue. Same as Lizzie. And his spots are…orange. Yes. And he has three eyes. Wiggly like Cookie Monster."

"Teeth?"

"Pointed. Scraggly."

Kurt keeps sketching and hands me the pen. "Show me the eyes. Are they spread out or...?"

So I draw what I think and he says, "Ping pong balls?"

"Oooh! Yes! Cool! And suction cup doo-hickeys for the arms. Like octopus arms."

"Hrmm…we could maybe get little suction cups, but if we can't find enough, how about circles that look like them?"

"Kurt, honey. You're getting overly ambitious again."

And Kurt and I look at Daddy like he's the one with suction cups arms because he just does not understand how fast Kurt sews and how excited I am and sometimes he just drives me crazy when he tries to be all practic—I don't know that word. All grown-up. Which, I know he's a grown up but, oh my goodness.

But then again, he is right a lot of the time too, so I ask, "Kurt? Can you do this? By trick or treat?"

"Sure. We have all weekend; I just have a teleconference Saturday and we have to go pick out our pumpkin to carve, but yes. But only if you'll help me."

And of course I help him. And we buy It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown to watch it. Oh, you should have heard Kurt in the store when Daddy confessed I'd never seen it.

"Honestly, Blaine. How can you have a five-year-old that's never seen this before?"

And Daddy sort of stared at him funny and said, "Our Halloween was sort of rough last year too, Kurt."

And oh boy, did it get really yucky right then. Right there in the middle of the Target store in front of all of the huge TV sets. Daddy looked mad and Kurt looked hurt and I just sat there and played with the string to my new hoodie for my costume. And then, I felt Kurt's fingers in my hair and he said, "Well, Adrian. You messed up today. I messed up today. I guess it's Daddy's turn now."

And Daddy kissed his cheek and said it was okay, even though he had a big old tear just sitting there waiting to fall down his cheek. Kurt kissed it and called himself a bad name that I pretended I didn't hear. But, it was okay then and I heard Mommy's name as they whispered and I remembered that she died right before Halloween too and I'm beginning to think that Halloween is sort of gross.

But, we're trying. And my costume, you guys. Is awesome. We decided I'm Lizzie's big brother and all four of us go trick or treating together. I even get to use a huge pillow case for all of my candy.

Because you know that monsters get the most candy. Especially nice, scary ones like me and Lizzie.

Oh, and three more things.

Try root beer and cream soda dum dums together. First, you look like you have fangs with two sticks in your mouth and that's awesome and it's super yummy. Like a root beer float.

Also, I got too much taffy. Gross. But? No rocks like poor Charlie Brown. Of course, my costume was better.

And finally, next year? We all made a deal. No one dies before Halloween. I think Kurt's already planning my costume. And no, I'm not telling you. You're just going to have to wait.