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Nothing Gold Can Stay

Kurt expected a lot of things when he agreed to come to Dalton on a cold winter's day, but he never expected this.


K - Words: 2,143 - Last Updated: Dec 13, 2011
971 0 2 0
Categories: Angst, Drama, Tragedy,
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,
Tags: established relationship,

Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

(Robert Frost)



4:00 pm

The air was crisp and clear as he walked across the slightly frozen grass. A few birds that hadn't left for the winter were still chirping merrily in the bare boughs of the old trees that flanked the Dalton Academy grounds.

He smiled as he remembered how he had felt on his first day here, so full of happiness and awe for this place that was soon to be his safe haven, his refuge from the rough world outside, his home.

Blaine shouldn't have come. It was a bad idea. He had suspected it the moment he had said yes to the friendly voice on the other end of the line, he had been almost sure when he had ended the call with a too excited "Great! See you later!" and he was absolutely convinced now that he was slowly making his way towards the entrance.

Because he felt it. He felt it tingle in his toes and flutter in his stomach, spreading a delightful warmth all over his body, comfortable and soothing like a summer's breeze in the middle of winter.

And he hated himself for it. How could he possibly feel that way?

He should know better, but he just couldn't help it.

The last couple of weeks had drained him completely.

Kurt, who was getting more anxious by the minute as he awaited his answer from NYADA, had been demanding all of his attention, and it didn't help that he was living with Finn, who was constantly bugged with the same stuff by Rachel.

One day, Finn and Blaine had just taken off to the movies as their respective other halfs were once again whining about how they would have to spend the rest of their professional lives performing at community theaters. He just couldn't stand it anymore.

It didn't help either that Kurt didn't seem to care at all about what was going to happen to their relationship once he had graduated and taken off to the Big Apple. Every time Blaine had tried to address it, Kurt had just pressed a kiss to his cheek and changed the topic. But Blaine needed to know. He would be the one stuck at McKinley all alone for another year, but he would be perfectly fine with it if he were sure that Kurt invested as much in their relationship as he did.

Recently, however, Blaine had felt that wasn't the case.

It had been Blaine who had transfered to McKinley despite all the warnings from his family and friends, and it had been Blaine who hadn't auditioned for the role of Tony in the first place because he wanted Kurt to get it.

It had been him who had kept quiet for so long even though he had been treated like an unwelcome guest by almost the entire Glee club. And it had been him who had stayed away from Sebastian all this time although he secretly enjoyed spending time with the carefree Warbler.

Kurt's priorities, on the other hand, had clearly shifted. When they had started dating, all his activities had been centered around Blaine, making him feel cared for and loved as if he was the single most important person on the planet. Blaine had never experienced that level of attention from anybody before, and it had been wonderful. Now, he had the feeling that Kurt kept scheduling their already scarce time together around his dancing lessons with Mike, vocal lessons, drama lessons, his regular shopping sprees with Mercedes and his girls' nights with Rachel.

Slowly, but surely, Blaine had started feeling neglected.

That wasn't the worst part, though.

The worst part was the fact that he had gotten used to it.

Blaine sighed and entered the familiar hallway. Although it was almost as cold inside as it was outside, a sudden wave of warmth spread all over his body. So they were still dealing with the same heating problems during the winter months as every year. He smiled and looked around, taking in the marvelous wood carvings and oil paintings on the walls, the smell of old books, paper and something else that was just typically Dalton filling his nose. He took a couple of deep breaths. This was home.

Checking his pocket watch, he quickly made his way down the spiral staircase without lingering, took a turn right and entered the Senior Commons.

*************************************************************************

4:25 pm

Kurt stopped in front of the impressive marble stairs leading to the main entrance and
took a few deep breaths, inhaling the crisp air. The entire school grounds were bathed in the golden light of the setting winter sun and the wind played with the remaining fallen leaves, making them twist and twirl once again before they'd eventually have to settle down and become one with the cold dark earth.

A sudden icy breeze made him gasp, and he pulled his coat tighter around his slender frame. He checked his phone once more.

"Meet me in the Senior Commons at 4:30 pm. We need to talk. Sebastian."

When Kurt had gotten the message, he had laughed hysterically at first. There was simply no way he'd meet this absolute nuisance on purpose, let alone talk to him. He had put the phone back in his pocket and ignored the text all day, but it somehow had him hooked.

What if Sebastian had finally come to his senses and wanted to make amends? Kurt had never been someone who enjoyed animosities, so if there was even a slight chance that this guy would apologize, he'd be happy to set things straight between them.

So three periods and countless stolen glances at the message later, he had made up his mind and accepted the invitation, although he still had the distinct feeling that there was a lot more to it than just a simple meeting.

Kurt entered the hallway that led to the spiral staircase where he had first laid eyes on Blaine and walked on, his coat still buttoned up because something was obviously wrong with the heating. It turned out to be even colder inside the building than it was outside, with the golden beams of the winter sun not permeating the thick walls of the old mansion. Kurt reached the top of the staircase and exhaled, raising his eyebrows in surprise as he watched his warm breath condense when it met the chilly air.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, he started his way down the once familiar stairs. The halls were completely void of students - understandable due to the icy temperatures - and Kurt figured they must have retreated to their respective commons which all hosted a fireplace or their dorm rooms in the other building in order to avoid an untimely death caused by hypothermia.

A chill ran down his spine as he took in the atmosphere. The hall was almost eerily quiet, and although the beams of the winter sun entered the room through the large windows on the left, their gentle warmth wasn't able to pass the high-tech isolation glass that must have cost Dalton a fortune to have it installed.

The dark metal handrail was smooth and cold as ice under his fingers, and he quickly removed his hands to warm them up in his coat pockets.

Kurt gasped as a realization hit him. Everything was quiet, cold and smooth. This place was nothing like the Dalton he remembered. This was Dalton without Blaine. Had it always been like that? Was it possible that the mere presence of one person could change a place completely?

Yes, it was.

Kurt smiled and walked on.

He opened the door of the Senior Commons at exactly 4:31 pm.

And his whole world fell apart.

*************************************************************************

4:32 pm

"Kurt! Come back!"

Blaine jumped up from the sofa he had been sitting on in the Dalton Senior Commons and tugged his shirt back into his pants, his eyes wide, his breath coming in gasps as his mind struggled to catch up with what had just happened.

He looked at the door, then back at the sofa where the tall blonde was still spread on his back with his hair thouroughly messed up, a victorious smirk on his face, "Oops! I think someone just walked in on us..."

Blaine stared at him, unable to think of a proper answer to this statement. His brain short-circuited as he took off after the man who had just left the room with an expression on his face he had only seen once before when Kurt had been elected Prom Queen.

He turned around the next corner and froze on the spot as he spotted Kurt's slender frame sitting on the bottom step of the spiral staircase that had hosted their first encounter, his head resting on his knees, his shoulders moving in tiny contractions as quiet sobs escaped his mouth.

Blaine felt as if all air had been sucked out of his lungs in the fracture of a second. A wave of nausea hit him full force and his knees started shaking almost violently, threatening to give in any second.

"Kurt", he whispered, his voice barely audible in the vast hall. This was it.

He mustered all his remaining courage and managed to walk over to the weeping boy on the stairs, kneeling down in front of him and grabbing his limp hands with obviously much more force than he had intended to use, causing Kurt to wince slightly under his touch.

"Kurt. Please let me explain,"

When Kurt locked eyes with him, he knew there would be no way back.

"There's nothing to explain, Blaine", Kurt answered, his voice quiet, but oddly calm and steady as he took a deep breath, "His cologne is all over you."

Blaine just stared at him for a couple of seconds while his mind was furiously working to find a way to tell Kurt what needed to be told. "Sebastian - he - ", he stuttered, " - he surprised me. I didn't initiate it."

Kurt chuckled hollowly, "Well, Blaine. Judging from the fact that you were lying on top of him, trying to pull his shirt out of his pants when I walked in, you weren't opposed to it, either."

The dark haired boy looked down at their now intertwined fingers resting on Kurt's knees, knowing that they had once promised to always be completely honest with each other.

"Yes."

Kurt sobbed quietly, his eyes fixed on some point at the far end of the hallway.

"Do you at least have feelings for him or were you just bored and looking for an adventure?"

Blaine still couldn't muster the courage to look at Kurt's face, afraid to meet the expression of hurt, sadness and complete and utter disappointment.

"I don't know."

"Of course you know."

"Sebastian - he...", Blaine sighed, his voice almost breaking, "Everything is so - easy with him, Kurt."

"Easy."

"Yes."

Kurt sobbed quietly again. "How long?"

"What do you mean?" Blaine stared at Kurt with a look of utter confusion, his voice thick with unshed tears and regret.

"How long have you been cheating on me?"

"No", Blaine whispered, "No, I haven't been cheating on you. This has never happened before."

"I don't believe you." Kurt took a trembling breath and locked eyes with Blaine, a single tear rolling down his left cheek before it disappeared where the jawline met the curve of his neck.

"We have always been completely honest with each other, Kurt. I'd never lie to you."

"I don't believe that, either." Kurt struggled to get rid of Blaine's hands that were now grasping his wrists tightly and got up from the stairs, looking very pale all of a sudden. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Blaine's forehead.

"Goodbye."

"Kurt!"

Blaine tried to move, but his legs simply failed to do their job. Paralyzed, he watched Kurt turn on his heel, walk up the stairs and around the corner.

"Kurt! Come back!"

He listened to the soft noise of the other man's footsteps until they had vanished completely before he sat down on the very spot where Kurt had been sitting and buried his face in his hands.

The large hall was cold as ice, but the single marble step was still warm from the heat of the other man's body.

Blaine started crying. Softly at first, barely audible for any passer-by.

Kurt was gone.

As the realization hit him, he sobbed loudly, drawing in a sharp breath and wrapping his arms around his knees.

The winter sun, which had still bathed every surface of the spiral staircase in its golden light only minutes ago, had set behind the small wood at the far west end of the Dalton grounds, and an eerie silence hang over the place as the day started its steady journey into the night.
End Notes: I apologize. But this has been bugging me for days and I had to get it out of my system.

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noooooooooooooooo aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh I would ADORE a follow up ... :D

Might happen! ;) Thanks for the review! <3