The day Blaine broke up with Kurt, he’s pretty sure the world went black. And even though it killed him to do it, even though he thought he would absolutely die to say the words, Blaine had to set Kurt free. He knew Kurt deserved to move on to New York without his high school boyfriend holding him back. He knew that even as the pained cries of Kurt’s denial hit his back, that it was the right thing to do. The best thing to do. He knew that eventually Kurt would move on, eventually Kurt wouldn’t feel the pain. As for himself though, it felt as if he were on the shore of a vast ocean of pain. But he had to swim it, for Kurt.

The day Blaine broke up with Kurt, Kurt was almost a hundred percent sure the world stopped turning. As he saw Blaine walk away, pretending not to hear Kurt’s pleas for him to stop, Kurt felt himself collapse. He lay curled up against the door jamb, between the storm door and the front door, an endless mantra of ‘please don’t leave me’ running through his head. He doesn’t know the particulars, but is sure Finn’s responsible, somehow though, he finds himself in his bed, the comforter tucked in around his feet the way he always liked best as a child. For a moment he feels the security of being held tight by the covers, but that is broken as he falls apart once more when he sees Blaine walking away behind his eyelids.

It takes days. Maybe even weeks. But eventually the boys are coaxed out of their respective hiding places. Their mutual friends are both curious as to why they broke up, especially if each of them are so torn up over it. Kurt doesn’t have the answer, just the curiosity as to how a day that began with waking up in each other’s arms, continued through many declarations of love, could end in the words, “Kurt, I love you. But we can’t...we can’t be together anymore.” And the endless pleas for him not to leave. Eventually the boys collect themselves to put on a mask of indifference. Kurt packs away his things, gets on a plane with Rachel and is on his way to New York. Blaine goes on tentative outings with Tina and Artie, trying to be animated about the new school year. Each of them tries to not think about the other. Each of them tries to focus on the here and now of school and their friends. But neither of them can do it for very long.

After Kurt went to New York, and Finn moved to Georgia, Burt took it upon himself to be at Blaine’s car one afternoon as school let out. Blaine was shocked to find Burt at his car, and cringed back slightly, running a nervous hands through the curls that he felt no motivation to tame anymore. Burt frowned slightly at the boy in front of him, his hair was no longer carefully gelled, but had messy curls pressed to one side, likely from this morning’s bedhead. His outfit lacked its usual verve, no longer bowties and bright cardigans, now a wrinkled henley that Burt recognized as Kurt’s. Burt searched Blaine’s eyes, no longer alive with a happy crinkle, just sad and with a look that said, ‘I’m only here because I have to be.’ Blaine cleared his throat, “Um, h-hello Mr. Hummel.” Burt smiled warmly, “Kid I told you a million times, it’s Burt.” Blaine nodded, “I...I um, I know I just thought that you would, um, er, change your mind.” Burt pursed his lips slightly, as much as it killed Burt to see Kurt as upset as he had been, he still liked Blaine. Hell if he was being honest, he loved the kid like he was his own son. And he could see as plain as anyone, that his ‘son’ was hurting. Burt just nodded, “Well, I didn’t. Actually I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with me and Carole Friday night?”

Blaine shrunk back a little, flinching as he remembered with painful clarity all the Friday Night Dinners he had attended alongside Kurt. Burt watched the conflicting emotions run across Blaine’s face, “Look kid, with the boys gone, Carole and I get lonely. And I know you can’t go all the way to Albany every weekend to see your folks so I thought if your uncle didn’t have any plans you’d come eat with us.” Blaine bit his lip, no he was sure his uncle that lived on the outskirts of Lima had no plans, but still, it would be hard to go back there, where there were so many memories, “Yeah. Thanks. That’d be great, what time do you want me?” Burt smiled, “Same time as always. And Blaine?” Blaine looked up before climbing in his car, “Yeah?” Burt grinned, “You’re still family.”

Blaine left the Hummel’s that night with an even bigger ache in his chest than the one he’d been nursing for the past three months. He’d excused himself to use the bathroom, but actually ended up in Kurt’s room, clutching one of the pillows that still smelled like Kurt. Blaine left not long after, barely making it around a corner before the tears made it too hard to see. He knew it wasn’t fair. He knew the pain he felt was self inflicted, and he knew that it was all his fault. But somehow that didn’t make it hurt any less.

The next day, he found himself at Hummel Tire and Lube, standing in front of Burt. Burt took one look at Blaine, and held his arms wide open. Blaine stumbled blindly into Burt’s arms, the second time ever that Blaine had hugged him. Blaine allowed himself to bury his face in Burt’s uniform, inhaling deeply and letting out a strangled, “You smell like Kurt.” Burt just nodded and patted Blaine’s back. Blaine finally calmed down enough to pull back, “I’m sorry...I just...it just. It hurts...so much.” Burt nodded grimly, “You know it hurts him too. I skype him everyday, and he doesn’t say it anymore, just a couple times when I know Rachel let him go a little heavy on the wine, but losing you killed him. He’s...he’s not alive anymore Blaine. He’s back to being that shell of a person that got shoved around and put down all the time and he doesn’t...he’s not lit up like he used to be, like the way he would be when he came back hours after curfew after being with you. Like just being with you would be. And if you two are hurting so much, how can it possibly be the right thing?” Blaine sighed, “I just, I didn’t want him to feel held back.” Burt rolled his eyes, “Kid. You are not doing him any favors. He needs you. You need him. I wish you could see yourselves. The kid’s worn the same outfit three times this week, and I talked to Tina, you wear that henley of Kurt’s more than twice a week. I’m not clothes guru, but I know that’s not normal for you two. I don’t care who you think you’re helping, but you’re not. You’re both too hurt over this. So fix it.”

Blaine nodded and got into his car. His original plan had been to go back to his uncle’s and regroup, but somehow he found himself on the interstate, headed north, blindly asking Siri to give him directions to New York. He drove for hours and hours, only stopping when his phone began to ring for the fifth time. He pulled over to the shoulder and answered his phone, “Hello?” His uncle on the other end was livid, “Blaine Everett Anderson! Where the hell have you been?” Blaine sighed, “Uncle Bernie, I had to do something.” Blaine could hear a knowing tone in his favorite uncle’s voice, “This got anything to do with that boy of yours?” Blaine smiled to himself, “Yeah...I, I screwed up Uncle Bernie.” His uncle actually laughed at that, “You think I don’t know that? You sure as hell fucked up. I’m almost ashamed to admit that an Anderson would let someone so special get away.” Blaine swallowed the lump in his throat, “I, I know Uncle Bernie. I’m ashamed too.” Blaine’s uncle chuckled over the phone, “Look kid. Do what you gotta do. Get the boy back. Just be back by Tuesday. I’ll get you a doctor’s note for Monday. And call the boy’s dad, I called him looking for you and it worried him that you hadn’t made it home yet.” Blaine smiled slightly, “Sure thing. Love you Uncle Bernie.” His uncle replied, “You too, Kid, you too. Now go get him.”

It was a ten hour drive from Lima to New York city, and it took almost a quarter as long to find Kurt’s dorm. Blaine looked again at the text Carole had sent him, double checking the address. He parked on the side of some alley that looked questionable at best, and followed his phone’s directions. Half an hour later, he was standing outside a building labeled, ‘Kolping House’, staring at it as if it was from Narnia. Blaine took a shuddering breath, okay, I’m really here. I totally just drove seven hundred miles to see a boy. Okay not a boy but Kurt. God. Shit. What if he throws me out? What if he hates me? No...he can’t hate me. His dad said...Oh my God why am I still here? At that moment a boy came up from behind me, “Excuse me?” Blaine turned around about to apologize as the boy said, “Are you looking for someone?” Blaine’s mouth clamped shut and he nodded. The boy grinned, “Maybe I can assist you, I’m the dorm advisor.” Okay, maybe the guy was too old to be referred to as a boy, “Um, I’m looking for Kurt. Kurt Hummel?” The man nodded knowingly.

“You must be the boyfriend.” Blaine raised an eyebrow, “He, he talks about me?” The man laughed softly, “Um, not exactly, I’m Adam by the way. I’m dating Rachel, and I asked her once if Kurt was always so reserved, and she kind of explained what happened.” Blaine nodded mutely, and Adam smiled encouragingly, “I take it this means you’re here to introduce me to the Kurt that’s all bright eyed and smiles?” Blaine laughed without humor, “I...I don’t even know if he’ll take me back.” Adam rolled his eyes, “Follow me.” Blaine followed Adam up several flights of stairs and was pulled to a stop in front of a door that had a sign that read ‘Kurt Hummel’ on it with a gold star. Obviously Rachel’s doing. Adam knocked on the door, “Kurt? You have a guest.” Blaine heard Kurt move behind the door and his heart skipped a beat, Kurt was behind that door. “Rachel you don’t have to have your boyfriend introduce you every time, just come in already.” The doorknob was turning and Adam looked at Blaine, “I’ll leave you to it then, shall I?”

Kurt pulled the door open to reveal a very disheveled Blaine. Blaine didn’t realize all the dark circles he had underneath his eyes, didn’t know how aged his face looked. But he could see how tired Kurt looked, could tell that he’d stopped the moisturizing routine. Could see that he had been wearing the same shirt for a while. Kurt’s jaw dropped, “B-blaine? What are you doing here?” Blaine’s heart stopped, “I...Kurt. I don’t know...what I was thinking. No. I do. I talked myself into thinking that you didn’t need a lame high school boyfriend holding you back. I...I was stupid. I thought...I thought you’d be happier without me...” Kurt cocked a hand on his hip, a watery echo of his previously diva-like stance, “Did you now? And how wrong were you about that?” Blaine’s voice broke, “So, so wrong Kurt. I...I can’t live without you. Everyday is so, so hard without you. And I don’t want to be without you anymore.” Tears began to roll down Kurt’s cheeks as he choked out, “B-blaine. I-I. I, you can’t do that to me again.” Blaine’s lip quivered and he shook his head, “N-never again.” With that Kurt threw his arms around Blaine’s neck, inhaling deeply.

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist and took a full deep breath, “God...I feel like I can finally breathe now.” Kurt squeezed Blaine tight, “I know exactly what you mean. I feel like for the longest time, my heart has been missing.” Blaine pressed sloppy kisses to each part of Kurt he could reach, “S’cause I left mine here with you, and took yours with me.” Kurt laughed, and shook his head indulgently, “Always such a silly romantic.” Blaine gave a watery grin, “I love you so much Kurt.” Kurt pulled back slightly to kiss Blaine deeply, “I love you too. So much.” Kurt pulled Blaine back close against him, and whispered in his ear, “I put my arms around you and I’m home.”