Kurt knew this was a bad idea.

He knew this was a bad idea when Finn told him that Puck had convinced Rachel to throw a party.

He knew this was a bad idea when she let him break into her dad’s liquor cabinet.

He knew it was a bad idea when she started screaming “SPIN THE BOTTLE!”

But here he was. Sitting in Rachel’s basement watching an empty bottle spinning around on a checker board.

Sam and Brittney were currently sucking face and as much as he wanted to seem like he was having a goodtime, he decided that he would leave the leering and drooling to Puck. He instead turned his attention to his right to check on Blaine. Completely and utterly wasted Blaine.

He tried not to let it sting too much that while he sat there completely sober, trying not to get too sloppy because he still wanted to impress Blaine, Blaine had no concerns about how he appeared to Kurt. Not that it mattered. It’s not like him and Blaine were dating. Why shouldn’t he want to get drunk and let loose at a party? Kurt and Blaine were friends. That's all they’ll ever be.

Because even though Blaine "really cared" about him like he claimed while trying to let Kurt down easy on valentine’s day, (Kurt honestly wasn’t listening, he couldn’t hear much over the sound of his heart shattering into a million pieces) he wasn’t Kurt’s. And now matter how much further Kurt fell in love with him, Blaine didn’t feel the same.

Kurt was pulled out of that depressing train of thought by Rachel who had knocked into him while trying to reach for the bottle.

"MY TURN!" She yelled and spun the bottle. Kurt watched as the bottle spun quickly before it started to slow, pointing towards his side of the circle. Kurt closed his eyes momentarily pleading, please don't make me kiss Rachel. I already kissed Brittney I don't want to have to live through that again. But when he opened his eyes he sighed in relief when he saw the bottle was not pointed at him, but his breath was cut short when he noticed who it was, pointed at.

"Blaine Warbler I’m gunna rock. Your. World."

And then it was happening. No time to prepare his heart for the pieces that had been put back together recently to fall apart again. No time to prepare his back for the knife being stabbed in it.

He then notices the change in the kiss too. How it went from just a drunken dare to something more passionate. But he wasn't the only one. The rest of the groups laughter died down as Blaine reached up to cup Rachel's cheek. After sitting there watching, a mix of false excitement and horror on his face, it finally became too much.

"Alright! I think we've had enough of that!" he tries desperately to get this nightmare to stop. Stop. Stop.

Thankfully, they broke apart, but the look of disgust Kurt hoped would cross Blaine’s face when he realized who he was kissing was not there. A drunken happy smile came across his handsome features instead as Kurt felt his heart drop into his stomach.

"Your face. Tastes awesome."

Of course it does. It's Blaine. He probably tastes delicious and his lips are probably soft and gentle and now probably taste like Rachel's strawberry lip balm and Kurt wants to vomit.

But now Rachel is getting up and pulling Blaine along with her as she makes her way to the stage and Blaine doesn't even look back, he goes willingly and Kurt is frozen. The look of horror still etched on his face as he tries to take in this turn of events.

"Hey bro, you okay?" Kurt looks up to see a concerned looking Finn and knows he's not talking about the fact that Rachel almost fell on top of him while trying to get up. Finn's heard Kurt talking to Blaine on the phone when he comes home for the weekend and he was there when Kurt came home on Valentine’s Day and ran straight to his room but not fast enough to hide the tears streaming down his face.

"Uh.....yeah, fine." Kurt managed to choke out around the lump in his throat, gripping Finn's forearm to steady his shaking knees as he pulled himself up.

"Kurt" Finn said warningly, and Kurt could tell he didn't believe him and as sweet as it was that he was concerned for him, Kurt didn't really feel like talking about it.

Kurt sighed as he turned to Finn, "don't worry, I'll... I'll be ok." Kurt said, fixing Finn with a halfhearted smile and turning away to go sit down before he could reply.

He sat down on the piano bench with a bottle of water and as the music started he forced a smile on his face and tried not to cry.

~~~

"Kurtsieeeeeeee! Yer alike da bestest"

"Glad you think so Blaine, now, ugh, come on, almost there." Kurt urged as he flung Blaine's arm around his shoulders again and nodded at Finn from Blaine's other side to start climbing the stairs.

Finn grunted but obliged and grabbed Blaine around the waist and together they began hauling Blaine up the stairs. Finn had been stubbornly bitter ever since Kurt had informed him that yes, they were taking Blaine home there is no way he can drive all the way back to Westerville in this state and God, Finn it doesn’t matter who he's kissing he still my best friend, NOT my boyfriend.

"Fiiiin!" Blaine slurred, "haz anyone eva told yew yer reeeeeeally t tall?" Blaine stumbled a little on the last step but the boys secure grip on his waist prevented it.

"Yeah, you might have petitioned that, like, 5 or 6 times" Finn grunted, obviously annoyed, as him and Kurt shoved their way into Kurt's room and carefully dumped Blaine on the bed.

Kurt then began unlacing Blaine’s shoes to take them off; he didn’t even realize Finn was still there until he turned around to find him shuffling awkwardly in his doorway looking at his shoes.

"Thank you, Finn, for helping me with him." Kurt said as he threw Blaine’s shoes in the corner and leaned against the bed to start unlacing his own boots. Blaine stirred with a groan when the bed moved slightly but then fell silent once again.

"Are you gunna be ok, Kurt?" Finn asked timidly, still standing in Kurt's doorway.

Kurt finished with his boots and made his way over to his closet. "Yeah, I think he passed out already, he should be easy to handle" he replied absently, dumping his boots in his closet and grabbing his pajamas.

"No.... I mean... Uh... Are you gunna be ok?" Finn asked again, clearly struggling to find the right words.

Kurt stopped then, catching what Finn was trying to say. "I'll be alright, Finn. I'll be fine." He lied. "Goodnight"

He turned and quickly ran into the bathroom, shutting the door shut behind him and leaning back against it, letting out a breathe he didn't know he was holding. He knows that Finn probably doesn’t believe him, but he really doesn’t want to have that conversation with Blaine in the room, unconscious or not.

After he hears the door shut he changes into his pjs and quickly goes through his nightly routine.

When opens the door and steps into his bedroom, he's surprised to find Blaine is sitting upright looking around with a confused expression on his face.

"Where am I?" Blaine asks, sounding slightly more sober than before.

"You're in my room, and you’re crashing here for the night" Kurt explains, walking towards the bed.

"No, I gotta… I gotta go back to Westerville." Blaine argues as he attempts to stand but the alcohol is still affecting his balance so he ends up falling back on the bed. When he goes to try again, Kurt puts his hands on his shoulders, pushing down gently to ground him there.

"Nuh uh, you’re staying right here where you won't have a chance to kill yourself while driving this drunk." He scolds.

Blaine looks up at Kurt for a long time, studying his face, after a while a smile spreads out across his face.

"You," Blaine pokes Kurt in the chest, “are the bestest. Ever." Blaine says then bursts into laughter, throwing his arms around Kurt and squeezes him. "Best best friend ever." He says and suddenly falls back onto the bed, still holding Kurt, pulling him on top of him.

"Oh my god, BLAINE! Let me go!" Kurt whines uncomfortably because he is lying on top of Blaine.

Blaine loosens his grip but doesn’t let go. He instead unclasps his hands and moves them around to Kurt’s sides.

With a giant smile on his face, he digs his fingers into Kurt’s ribs and shouts “TICKLE FIGHT!

Kurt screams and jerks off Blaine instinctively falling backwards off the bed and hitting his shoulder hard on the edge of his bedside table.

“Shit!” Kurt yells clutching his shoulder. He sits there for a while and just focuses on breathing and trying not to think about the pain that is quickly subsiding.

Only when the pain is a dull ache does he realize Blaine is staring at him sitting on the edge of the bed tears running down his face.

“Hey,” Kurt says softly rising up to kneel between Blaine’s legs. When Blaine doesn’t respond, Kurt reaches out and gently tilts his head up. Blaine looks at him with sadness in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Kurt whispers, still a little confused why Blaine is crying when he was cracking up not 5 minutes ago.

“I… I.. I hur-“ sniffle ”I h-hurt you.” Blaine says weakly, dropping his head and continuing to silently cry.
“What?” Kurt asks a little timidly, what was Blaine talking about?

“I wanted to h-have a tickle fight with my b-bestest friend and you f-fell off the bed.”

Kurt almost laughs. Almost. Because wow, he is like a toddler. And of course Blaine is an emotional drunk. He should have hung out with Santana tonight. Kurt smiles at the thought but then stops because now Blaine is crying harder and blubbering,

“-and you’re always so nice to everyone and you’re funny and you’re sarcastic but in the best way and you’ve never done anything bad to me and I just practically pushed you off the bed, and oh god I’m a horrible best friend.”

Blaine hiccups and barries his face in his hands, full out sobbing at this point.

“shh, shh, shh, no Blaine come on, don’t cry,” Kurt coos, trying to make Blaine feel better while he cries. “You’ve helped me out tons of times!” Kurt says when the crying doesn’t stop.

Blaine lifts his head, looking at Kurt through tear filled eyes, “oh yeah, when?!” Blaine challenges.

“Like the first day you met me!” Kurt says, sitting down next to Blaine on the bed. “You could have totally beaten me up for spying but you didn’t!” Kurt tries to convince Blaine.

“I would never hurt you,” Blaine mumbles while whipping his face with his shirt sleeve. Kurt pretends to not notice the irony in that statement.

“Exactly,” Kurt squeezes Blaine’s arm while reaching across to the night stand and grabbing a tissue and handing it to Blaine.

“and you want to know a secret?” Kurt asks, truly feeling as if he’s talking to a toddler when Blaine’s face lights up as he nods his head excitedly.

“You’re the bestest friend I’ve ever had.” Kurt whispers into Blaine’s ear, slightly regretting that choice when the proximity allows Kurt to smell Blaine’s delicious cologne still wafting through the stench of alcohol.

When he leans back to look at Blaine’s face he is smiling at Kurt brighter than a Christmas tree, a gleam of hope in his eyes as he scoots closer to Kurt, invading his personal space.

“Do you really mean that?” Blaine asks and fixes Kurt with what is an adorable attempt at a stern glare but comes out as more of a pout that has Kurt internally swooning.

“Of course” Kurt says, standing up quickly before Blaine could lean in anymore and Kurt’s mind melted into Blaine. Delicious. Hot. Want.

Blaine jumps up quickly and pulls Kurt into another tight hug before pulling away and sticking his bottom lip out, pouting and saying “Is it bedtime now?”

“Yes, now get in so we can stop with this emotional rollercoaster.” Kurt commands, gripping Blaine’s shoulders and turning him towards the bed.

They crawl under the sheets, Kurt lying on his side away from Blaine and making sure to stay on his side of the
bed.

They say their goodnights and Kurt turns off the lamp on the bedside table. About 10 minutes go by and Kurt is almost positive that Blaine is asleep by now when he feels a warm hand on his hip.

He ignores it, thinking that Blaine must have rolled over
in his sleep and his hand unconsciously landed there.

That is until the hand moves over his hip bone and down over his stomach.

Ok, Blaine probably sleeps with a teddy bear or something, that’s not that surprising, and now he’s subconsciously reaching for it. No big deal. I don’t mind cuddling with Blaine. As friends. Friend cuddling. Platonic drunk friend cuddling.

But all the thoughts of this being innocent and accidental are thrown out the window when he feels Blaine’s hot breath on his back along with the lightest touches of lips on the base of his neck. He shivers but remains still, not sure what to do as the hand continues its path toward the drawstring of his pajama pants.

“Mmm, yeah” Blaine hums. Scooting closer up behind Kurt on the bed to where he’s practically spooning him. Well, ok, Blaine is having a sex dream while in bed with me. Just remain calm and breathe.

Blaine’s other hand begins fiddling with the hem of the back of Kurt’s shirt as the kisses on his neck become more firm and lengthier.

Kurt just lays there, still as a statue, completely at loss of what to do. Does he shake Blaine off? Yes. That’s what he should do. That’s the right thing to do. Blaine would thank him later and he should do it now and – oh, god, that mouth.

Blaine’s kisses have gone from sweet little pecks to wet little nips and bites. The hand that was smoothly tracing the toned muscles of Kurt’s torso is now undoing the drawstring of Kurt’s pants.

Then, Blaine tugs Kurt back flush against him and Kurt barely has time to register the hot, hard, length being pressed against his ass through his pants before he’s letting out a low moan as Blaine’s hand palms him lightly through his pants.

Blaine is then rutting up as Kurt is unconsciously grinding down and, yes Blaine is hard and god when did Kurt become this hard, he does not remember that happening, but then again he is a little preoccupied with a horny drunken boy grinding against his ass in his sleep.

“God, k-Kurt” Blaine whispers the first words in the past hour breathlessly and then- wait, what?

Kurt rolls over quickly in Blaine’s arms, startling with he sees that Blaine’s eyes are very open and not asleep.

“W-what are you doing?” Kurt hisses and silently curses himself for sounding so unhinged when in reality; he is, so very very unhinged and hard.

“Shh, come on Kurt, just, please…” He trails off and leans in towards Kurt’s lips, closer, closer and then Kurt sees what’s happening and no, no, no, he will not let his first real kiss with Blaine be when he’s drunk and horny and not thinking clearly enough to realize that this is Kurt, your best friend that you really really care about but you don’t want to mess this up.

So he turns his face toward the ceiling quickly as Blaine’s lips fall onto his jaw. But Blaine doesn’t let that deter him as he continues sucking and biting and kissing all over Kurt’s neck. Kurt takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself as much as possible before he grabs Blaine’s hands that have been roaming all over Kurt’s body and driving him crazy and-

“No. No Blaine, stop. Stop.” Kurt says firmly, nudging Blaine’s lips off gently with his shoulder and rolling on his side facing Blaine.

Blaine’s face is inches away from his own and he can feel Blaine’s breath on his face and it would just be so easy to just close the short distance and let Blaine runs his hands over him and just sit back and soak in every touch and every kiss and just pretend that for one night Blaine is his and Blaine loves him too and needs him too and he could pretend that all this was real and not driven by hormones but by love.

But it’s not.

Blaine’s not his. Not his to hold, to love, to kiss, or to touch.

So, he pushes Blaine away gently and ignores the look of confusion on his face and looks at him sternly with a final. “No.”

“What?” Blaine asks.

“We can’t do this. W-We shouldn’t do this.” But god
dammit, I want to. More than anything.

“Why not?” Blaine asks starring at Kurt through the darkness.

“Because you don’t want this, you’re just horny and drunk and y-you don’t want-“me.

Blaine smiles slightly and wraps his arm back around Kurt and pulling him close again, his lips return to Kurt’s neck placing a gentle kiss to the spot just below his ear. But before Kurt’s mind can catch up to what’s happening and push Blaine off again, Blaine presses flush against him and whispers hotly in his ear,

“I want you.”

And Kurt surrenders. Lying back onto his back and letting Blaine’s hand return to his pants, palming him with firm confident strokes and holding Kurt tightly against him, leaving dark marks on Kurt’s collarbone and some on his shoulder.

He knows he’ll regret it in the morning, knows he probably won’t be able to look Blaine in the eye for a week. But he also knows that this as close to Blaine as he’s going to get when there are still Rachels and Jeremiahs in the world. So call him selfish can call him manipulative but he’s going to take what he can. Cause it might be all he’ll ever get.

And it’s not like this is all for him. He can tell Blaine’s enjoying it too if his rock hard length pressed securely to Kurt’s thigh is anything to go on. He’s doing this for both of them. Its community service really, and maybe he could put this on his resume and – dear god, what are you thinking? He’s drunk and horny and now you’re horny. That’s all this is. Stop fooling yourself. Just a late night drunken hook-up.

And since it is just a hook-up, shouldn’t he feel cheap? That’s how he supposed to feel but right now all his body is pulsing with is want want want. And really how can you feel cheap when in between leaving dark marks all over Kurt’s neck and unbuttoning his shirt Blaine’s whispering “god, you’re beautiful” and “I want you so bad”. And now Blaine’s got his shirt open and he’s hovering over him, resting his weight on his elbows on either side of Kurt’s head and he’s still sucking on his neck and chest and he keeps shifting and Kurt’s mewling beneath him trying to figure what the hell is going on and god Blaine do something!

And then good god it was worth waiting for Blaine to find the right position because when he thrusts his hips down like oh yes, just like that, right there, oh god yes it’s the most perfect friction and Kurt can’t help that he’s thrusting up to meet Blaine and their grinding together and he can feel Blaine’s cock, rubbing against Kurt’s through his pants, pulsing and just as hard as Kurt’s.

Kurt doesn’t even notice the sounds he’s making until Blaine’s whispering against his neck “Shh, baby, shh, so good so good so good”. But as the thrusting gets harder and they start to lose their rhythm, it gets harder and harder to stifle his moans and keeping the volume down while he wraps his arms around Blaine’s shoulders and his legs around his waist, locking them at the ankle and practically clinging to Blaine as he gets closer and closer.

Blaine then moves his head from Kurt’s neck to his ear, “Come on, Kurt. Let go.”

And then Kurt stills, while enormous waves of pleasure course through his body. He bites down on Blaine’s shirt to prevent screaming his name into the empty room as he comes hot and hard in his pants, harder than he has ever come from his hand. He’s vaguely aware of Blaine biting on the junction between his neck and shoulder and being gently lowered back onto the bed.

Blaine flops down next to him and Kurt doesn’t even have a minute to process what just happened before Blaine’s arms are wrapping around his waist again and pulling him close nuzzling his neck and spooning him. Blaine sighs happily and cuddles Kurt closer before pressing a gentle kiss to Kurt’s neck and whispers, “mmm, night. Love you, Kurt.” Before his breath evens out and he’s sound asleep.

Kurt sucks in a breath as the gravity of what just happened, what they just did, and what Blaine just said tumbles down on him and how much he wants everything about this to mean more than it does. It’s too much and he can feel panic start to set in. but before he can properly freak out (because oh my god! What was I thinking?!, he just had a drunken dry hump session with his best friend that he’s in love with but has put him strictly in the friend’s zone) he turns on his side and pushes everything out of his mind, promising himself he will deal with all of this and all the things that it brings tomorrow when he can’t feel his heart breaking in his chest.

So he just pulls the covers up around him and Blaine, and snuggles down into the pillow.

And as he wipes the fast falling tears from his cheeks he tries not to think about how much he wanted it to be real or how much he wants Blaine to remember what he said, he whispers into the dark

“I love you too, Blaine”.