Ne Me Quitte Pas Mon Chere

Success at composure is long gone; control of what’s happening is all in the hands of the anxiety Blaine is feeling right now.

Up until this point, sobbing on his boyfriend’s shoulder while having sex, which should be embarrassing but he can’t care right now, he was able to keep it together. The knowledge that Kurt would be leaving him in no less than a month overwhelmed his every nerve. It was enough that Kurt was sitting with his back to the headboard buried inside him so deep while Blaine sat on his lap, but now he’s crying because it’s all becoming so real. It’s all so sudden that it feels as if a rock just hit him on the chest and he can’t breathe.

“Blaine. Blaine, calm down. What’s wrong?,” he hears faintly from Kurt as he tries to slow the wracking sobs coming out of him.

“Sor- Sorry. Just k- keep going,” he says in a failed attempt to sound calm. Blaine alternates the strength of his grip at the nape of Kurt’s neck to remind himself that Kurt is here, he’s not going anywhere, not yet. It doesn’t work. His body won’t listen to him; he’s trembling in the arms of his love for loving him too much.

“Blaine, please tell me what’s wrong. Did I hurt you?,”

“No. No, you didn’t do anything. I’m okay, I just need a minute,” Blaine sniffles and lifts his head too quickly. “Just keep going,” because he needs to feel the stretch and pleasurable burn of Kurt; his cock filling him so good. He needs to feel the authenticity of what’s happening now, not the longing and solitude he knows he’ll feel once Kurt is off to New York.

Blaine shifts his gaze down to the middle of them and places his hands on each side of Kurt’s neck. He lifts up a little and whimpers at the feeling of the rush he feels in his belly when he feels Kurt’s cock moves inside him. He sinks down slowly and tries to push back up but he feels hands gripping his waist to stop.

“Blaine, stop,” Kurt says with a concerned shake in his voice.

“Kurt, just- Please,” Blaine half whispers into the hollow of Kurt’s neck, right below his chin, “Please don’t leave me here.”

An unpleasant shiver traveled down Kurt’s spine at the sheer magnitude of the vulnerability he’s never heard in Blaine’s voice. Blaine “Courage” Anderson, probably one of the people with the strongest will and bravery he’s ever seen in this abomination of a world. This is the boy, no man, that took his heart and kept it locked away in his own for an eternity of safe keeping.

“Sweetheart, I am never leaving you,” Kurt mumbles into Blaine’s hair before pressing a kiss to his temple. “Whatever gave you that idea is completely not true. Separation makes the heart go fonder, right?” They both chuckle until Kurt hears Blaine still sniffling and discreetly try to wipe away tears even though they wear literally joined at the hip right now.

By this time, though, Kurt had pulled out but still had Blaine sitting in his lap with the heat of each other still resonating in the embrace. It’d only been two or three minutes but the amount of thoughts his mind was processing made Kurt feel as if they’d been wrapped up in each other for hours. Each of them savoring this mutually agreed moment of silence in order to let the reality of the future sink in because as much as they wanted to set aside this talk, it had to happen. Although not now, because Kurt wasn’t going to let a moment as precious as being with Blaine like this go to waste. It’s not ignoring the problem as much as it solving it. Kurt can’t deny Blaine, sweet, strong Blaine, security and the admission of Kurt’s love for him.

By now they both calmed down enough to remember the actual reason they were sitting naked and wrapped up on Kurt’s soft duvet.

“And Blaine?”

“Hm?”

“You do have to believe I won’t abandon you. Not like the others,” Kurt says, placing a hand on Blaine’s cheek to turn his face up to look into his eyes, “I’m always here. I don’t make promises lightly Blaine Anderson and I really am never going to say goodbye to you. No one in their right mind could. I love you so much and distance will not change that”

Blaine gave him a small smile and turned his head down.

“I’m sorry for overacting,” Blaine says then stopping Kurt before he could interject, “Don’t say I didn’t because I did. I’ve kept all these worries bottled up because I didn’t want you, or me for that fact, to worry about me. And look, I ended up losing control anyways. I try so hard to be strong for you and for myself, but end up even more stubborn than Finn,” finishes Blaine and they both laughing at the realization.

“Let’s not talk about this now. Plus,” Kurt leans in close to Blaine’s ear and darkly says with a flick of his wrist on Blaine’s half-hard cock “I’m not leaving you like this, either.”

Blaine gasps into Kurt’s ears and relocates his hands to Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt’s strokes on him are smooth and slow, building up the tension at the base of his spine. Breath after breath  Blaine feels more like just grinding on Kurt’s hip and get off here and now, but Kurt’s hand feels so good and his breath in Blaine’s ear is erratic, seeming to enjoy this unraveling before him as much as Blaine is.

“Please,” he hears himself say close to a messy bunch of lush, light brown hair. “Please Kurt, now.”

“Tell me. What do you need, sweetie?”

“You. Just you,” says Blaine. He turns his head to the left to meet with Kurt’s mouth in a desperate, messy kiss.

Blaine whimpers into the kiss after an especially good stroke and breaks away from Kurt’s lips.

“Kurt, please I need more,” he says, lips still so close to Kurt’s.

“Want me inside you again?,” Kurt halts the stroking, ignoring Blaine’s grunt of protest, and shifts his hand back to in between Blaine’s opening, where he’s now still so open and sore from just a several minutes earlier. “God, you’re still open for my Blaine. Want me to fuck you again?” whispers Kurt hotly while hooking his chin on Blaine’s shoulder to look behind him.

“Please,” whimpers Blaine. He grasps Kurt’s hair in his hands. He feels a hand move to the small of his back and the blunt pressure of Kurt’s cock at his entrance.

“I’m going to go slow, alright?” he hears and nods his head at the side of Kurt’s neck.

The burn and stretch is always the most overwhelming for him. No matter how many times they do this, the familiarity of it seems to go out the window at the moment Kurt keeps pushing in. It’s like he penetrates (no pun intended) yet another part of his heart, another part of their soul. Like the reconnection of their souls is where this pleasure comes from.

Kurt’s always been on either side of the spectrum when they’re in bed, sweet and gentle or rough and fast; this is new, this is something in between. The desperation Blaine felt at the beginning of all this with a splash of this new recognition of separation off in the horizon made this that much more intense.

Blaine couldn’t wait any longer so as soon as Kurt was fully sheathed inside him, he started moving his hips up and down in increments at a time. In no time he was bouncing on Kurt’s lap almost relentless as his breath grew more erratic by the minute.

Kurt was keeping him so close that he could feel his cock rubbing on Kurt’s belly on every thrust. The hot weight of him leaving traces of precome and a sheen of sweat on both of them.

He was close but he still needed that push over the edge. Kurt moved his hands to Blaine’s hip and waist on a particularly deep thrust and kept Blaine seated on him. He shifted up slightly and-

“Kurt, oh my god, right there,” whimpered Blaine after a few thrusts to that sweet spot. He pushed himself down while Kurt thrust his hips up deep and hard as Blaine let out soft, surprised cries.

“That’s right, sweetie. I’m here. I got you,” whispered Kurt into the air they’re currently sharing. Blaine is hanging on the Kurt’s shoulder now while Kurt moves to mouth wetly at the side of Blaine’s neck and that oh so responsive spot at the juncture of his shoulder and neck. He starts sucking a mark into his neck and hears Blaine gasp somewhere a little bit above him. Kurt moves his mouth over the bruise to sooth it then works his way up Blaine’s neck with small kisses here and there.

Kurt leans in as if to kiss Blaine, but stops a few millimeters away and nuzzles his nose a little.

“You gonna come for me?” Kurt asks.

“Ye-yeah. I’m so close. God, so close,” Blaine responds, breath shaky and legs trembling.

Kurt wraps a hand around him and strokes in earnest while thrusting more slowly, but sharper into him. Blaine lets the gasps and whimpers flow out of him because it’s so good and he feels like his skin is on fire and tight and just so good.

Kurt starts to thumb at the head and thrusts at the same time, and Blaine loses all sense of the word control. His body arches into Kurt, the only thing currently supporting him is the hand still on Blaine’s back. Kurt kisses the sharp cries away as Blaine unravels in his arms. He strokes him gently through it until Blaine and his cock are spent, the only trace is the come streaked up both their chests. Kurt grabs onto Blaine’s waist and thrusts three, four, five more times and comes. He bites down on Blaine shoulders to muffle his ecstasy as he empties himself inside Blaine pulse after pulse of pleasure.

Blaine gasps at the oversensitivity but ignores it because the sting of Kurt’s thrusts makes the aftershocks oddly good. He pets Kurt’s hair and back as they both continue to calm down.

“I love you,” whispers Blaine with a smile when he lifts his head off of Kurt’s shoulder

Kurt giggles and gives his nose a small peck. “I love you too, Blaine Anderson.”