A Klaine fanfiction post-breakup with an alternate ending for the episode 'Shooting Star' and it's not a good one...
Author's Notes: Warnings: Character death, self-hate (is that a warning?)AND IF YOU GUYS ARE TOO UPSET WITH THE ENDING I WILL WRITE A SEQUEL AND I PROMISE IT WILL GET BETTER! :* good luck. ....I love you?
"Artie what are you doing?" Blaine asked, taking short uneasy breaths, his body taut with fear.
"Is there anything you want to tell anyone?" Artie asked, filming Blaine. It seemed like such a simple question to anyone else, but to Blaine, it was impossible.
A million thoughts rushed into his head, crowding through his mind. Regret strung over him like a bowstring. Self-loathing came next, at the mistakes he had made, at how he had hurt Kurt. Now there really was nothing he could do to fix it, it was all over.
His mind rushed back to the first time he had seen Kurt, walking down the stairs at Dalton, as beautiful as ever. The thing that really captivated Blaine's attention was Kurt's eyes, bright, bluish-green, and filled with curiosity. They had been searching for something, something more than either of them could explain.
And now it was gone, that thing he was searching for, it was shattered, 'because of me," Blaine thought as he closed his red eyes tightly. And now, his life could be over, and he would never be able to fix it. And with Artie's question, there was nothing else on his mind but, 'I love you, Kurt, please forgive me'. He was empty, he had nothing, and now he might die. But the truth was that he had been dead for a while.
Artie's question rang in his head like the wedding bells he would never hear standing next to Kurt.
His mind wandered to their first kiss. He inhaled deeply, his eyes still shut tightly. Maybe if he closed them tight enough he would just disappear, maybe he would just wake up from this nightmare in Kurt's arms.
And then there was their first time. So different it had been from the time when Kurt was visiting for the wedding. Blaine thought that maybe it would feel the same, but it didn't. Not when Kurt was reminding him every chance he had that they were only friends, not when Kurt acted like Blaine didn't mean anything to him. But it was his own fault; he was the one that caused Kurt so much pain. No, their first time meant something, it meant love. It meant the something that Blaine gave away, it was his doing.
Blaine waved Artie off with his hand weakly, or maybe it was just to hit the memories away as he closed in on himself, burying his head in his knees and crying softly. He might never hear Kurt's voice again, he might never see those eyes again; those eyes that took him by surprise the night Kurt came into his life.
Blaine sat there, completely motionless. He had cried himself out of tears, so now his expression remained entirely stoic. There was no sign of life on the outside of his body, but his thoughts were racing, and his heart was pounding at his pulse point. 'I need Kurt', he thought. 'But Kurt doesn't need you, and you have nobody to blame but yourself. I just want to know that Kurt loves me.'
Suddenly, they heard another gunshot sound from the hallway. Blaine's head shot up, as he looked around frantically at tear-soaked faces. His heart had been pounding so hard against his chest, that he had not heard his own whimpers escape his throat. He pulled out his phone and texted Kurt's number, his thumbs shaking over the buttons.
B: I love you so much Kurt. I'm so sorry for what I did to you.
K: Blaine, please.
B: There's money I have been saving to buy you a ring in my bottom drawer.
K: Blaine!
The doorknob shook and rattled, as the silhouette of a man showed through the paper over the glass. 'You hurt Kurt. You hurt him so badly. Remember those tears streaming from those once bright eyes, the night that you broke him? Remember them? Because they're not going anywhere, and it's all because of you.' Kurt's eyes had faded that night, and the light that they once carried vanished. Blaine let out a loud, sharp whine at his thoughts.
All of his friends' heads turned to look at him. Tears fell from their eyes, but they stared into Blaine. Blaine looked back and forth through the New Directions, what had he done?
K: Don't do this over text. Call me.
B: Can't.
K: Really, Blaine?
B: Please just know that I love you.
"I thought you were in there, you little bastards!" They heard the man yell.
Blaine's heart sank to the pit of his stomach, his vision was now completely blurred by tears, his heart was pounding low in his body, his mind was blank, and his breathing was quick.
"Why did you do that?" Sam mouthed from across the room, a horrified expression on his face. Tears streaked his face, as realization hit him.
Blaine tugged at his hair roughly, yanking it out of the gel. 'This is your fault!' his mind screamed at him.
It all happened at once. They heard the door being kicked open, the shooter coming into view.
No one looked accusing anymore, no, it was way worse now, they all looked horrified, and Blaine only had himself to blame.
Will ran in front of his kids, trying to protect them as much as he could, but there was little he could do. In a matter of seconds, Will had fallen to the floor bleeding. He was still breathing, but his breaths were rapid and forced. Then, the shooter turned to Blaine. Blaine was the only one sitting alone, he was the most vulnerable. The man fired his shotgun into the innocent-looking dark-haired boy's head. Screams flooded through the room.
Everything slowed down, 'He never said he loves you too because he doesn't, and now, Blaine, you've hurt EVERYBODY you've ever loved,' he thought as the bullet rushed towards him. His body forced out an unbearable shriek before his mind went black.
His body slumped to the ground, blood shining through his head and dripping from his mouth. Blaine Anderson was dead.
K: I love you, too.
Part 2
Kurt flipped through the channels on his TV looking for something good to watch. He had the apartment to himself that day because Rachel was out with her friends. He was bored out of his mind, and he had to catch himself from falling asleep. He needed coffee. Suddenly, he heard his phone buzz.
B: I love you so much Kurt. I'm so sorry for what I did to you.
Kurt sighed. It hurt to see Blaine's name, it hurt to think of Blaine, yet he ached to hear his voice again.
K: Blaine, please.
B: There's money I've been saving to buy you a ring in my bottom drawer.
So Blaine was going to try and make him feel guilty now. He rolled his eyes, a bit annoyed, though it did touch him that Blaine was going to buy him a ring. Why was it making him happy? It's not like he was going to say yes. Was he taking advantage of Blaine? Was it the fact that somebody wanted him so badly, or was it that he took pleasure in making Blaine work so hard? Either way, he felt kind of offended.
K: Blaine!
Kurt slumped against the back of the couch. Why was he scolding Blaine when he was actually glad that they were talking? What if Blaine just stopped all of the sudden? What if Blaine just stopped trying?
He figured he'd been too harsh, because Blaine wasn't texting back. Maybe this wasn't a good way to talk.
K: Don't do this over text. Call me.
Truth was, Kurt didn't know if he could hold himself together if he heard Blaine's voice, but he needed to.
B: Can't.
Kurt's heart sank, and he also felt a little annoyed. It's not like this was going to be easy for him either.
K: Really, Blaine?
Kurt turned off the TV. There was too much to focus on with it being powered.
Just then, there was a knock at the door. Kurt sat his phone down and went to answer it. It was his client waiting to pick up some pictures that Kurt had taken. Shit! How had he forgotten? He did not look presentable at all. His hair was a mess, and he was wearing sweatpants! But he had an excuse, he did not buy the sweatpants, they were Blaine's, and they were very short on Kurt's long legs. He just wore them because they smelled like Blaine, and that was the closest thing he had to actually being with Blaine.
"Hello, I'm so sorry. Come in," Kurt said, ushering the woman inside. He heard his phone buzz, but he did not check it. He couldn't make himself look even worse.
He rummaged around for some papers as his client stood near the door. He finally found the pictures that he had taken and rushed over, "Here they are. Just pick the ones you like," Kurt said, watching as the woman shuffled through the pictures.
"They are beautiful. Thank you, Kurt," She said, as she handed him back the ones she didn't want. She searched through her purse and pulled out the money to pay Kurt.
He gladly accepted it and waved her goodbye. He was eager to know what the message on his phone said for some reason. Why was he getting so anxious?
He picked his phone up and read the message slowly.
B: Please just know that I love you.
Kurt sighed, and felt his eyes watering up. It almost sounded like a plea, or maybe a beg, but he couldn't really interpret Blaine's intentions through text.
K: I love you, too.
Kurt felt a tear roll down his cheek. He really did love Blaine. He couldn't wait for the next time he could see him.