Blaine's pregnant. There are a lot of side effects, one of which Kurt happens to really like.
Author's Notes: I've never even written bp before never mind mpreg and the idea just wouldn't leave me alone because I think pregnant Blaine is really cute please don't hate me? Blaine has a vagina and all the stuff that goes with it or this wouldn't be possible. Let's all suspend our disbelief for a bit shall we?
When Blaine had asked for paternity leave, his boss thought he was joking.
But here he was, balanced precariously on a stepladder, trying to paint a nursery. It wasn’t going well; he’d almost fallen over three times now, still not used to being weighed down like this. As he reached forward to get the top of the wall, his belly brushed against it, smearing his shirt with yellow. His head fell and he let out a groan. He knew he should just call it a day and try to get some sleep, but he hated feeling so useless while Kurt was at work. Usually Kurt could work from home, but he’d been called in for some leather-related emergency, meaning there was nobody to tell Blaine to stop putting such a strain on himself and dab paint on his cheek and bring him bowls of spinach in bed. His brain was a mess of hormones anyway, but it didn’t help that the baby had been squirming all the night and he’d barely gotten two hours of sleep. He decided the last thing he needed on top of that was paint fumes; they could hurt the baby. The doctor had said it would be fine, but it couldn’t hurt to be cautious. And it definitely couldn’t hurt to go back to bed.
He waddled (yeah, he was definitely waddling now – ugh) to the bedroom, almost breaking a sweat in the process. If he ever did this again, he hoped it would be in winter, because this was just ridiculous. He was huge and the apartment was sweltering and everything was just so heavy. He felt stretched – and not in the good way – out of all recognition, and the bump was no longer cute. It was a thing that wouldn’t keep still and a constant pressure on his back, his hips and his skin. He was going to walk straight past the mirror and flop onto the bed, but he couldn’t help stopping to stare at himself. He was somewhat eye-catching.
He unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his swollen belly. He traced over the pink, silvery lines which showed just how much his body had changed, and frowned. He remembered sitting opposite that irritating doctor (admittedly everything had been irritating to him that day) who simply shrugged and asked them what they’d expected. ‘This isn’t just external. Your whole reproductive system is… female. It must have occurred to you that you’d have ovaries and a uterus to go with your vagina?’ Blaine was on the verge of punching her until he felt Kurt’s hand squeezing his. He wasn’t frowning or grimacing. He was smiling and his eyes were glistening.
“Blaine, you’re… we’re having a…”
He glanced at Blaine’s stomach for a second, and Blaine did the same. It wasn’t about him being a freak any more. It was about the whole new person in there, something that was part of him, part of both of them. It meant him and Kurt and love and family. He looked back up at Kurt, who was looking straight into his eyes instead of at his tummy. A hug, a kiss, and Blaine wasn’t scared any more.
It had all been so sweet, but there was nothing romantic about it now. The swollen bulge pulling his skin down, weighing on his pelvis until it ached, had become a thing he had to carry wherever her went. He walked differently, his legs pushed ever so slightly apart. He wanted the baby to come now, wanted to hold him and kiss him and, most importantly, put him down.
He shrugged the shirt off, sick of staring at himself, and stepped out of his pants and into bed. Within seconds he’d pushed away the single sheet covering him. The heat was closing in on him, almost solid, like another body pressed against his. He shifted from side to side, eventually settling on his back. Having the baby pushing down on top of him was easier than pulling to one side. His knees were bent, and with the bump so low (‘that means it’s a girl!’ Carole had gushed, only for the sonogram to prove her wrong, not that either of them minded) his legs naturally spread apart. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was as close as he could get.
There were a lot of side-effects to pregnancy. So many of his friends had moaned about how moody their wives were, how they kept eating weird stuff, hogging the covers, playing the pregnant card whenever they didn’t feel like doing something… but as far as he could tell, Kurt wasn’t sick of him yet. Maybe Blaine’s overwhelming urge to have sex with him at every opportunity was balancing it out. But when Kurt wasn’t home, the constant stream of filthy thoughts was just annoying. He wanted to sleep, but his head was full of Kurt, Kurt’s still slender figure, his arms, his neck, his hands, his chest, his cock, his everything.
Blaine didn’t even realise his hand was moving until he felt two fingers stroking lazily at his pussy, dipping between the folds to tease his clit. He felt dizzy almost instantly as the blood rushed down and he started squirming on the bed, his toes curling into the sheets.
Kurt managed to escape early. He assumed Blaine would still be asleep, as he’d been tossing and turning all night and it was barely lunchtime. He kept quiet, earphones still in as he put together a plate of fruit and cheese and bread before sneaking into the bedroom. He switched his music off on the landing, and as he approached the door he heard very familiar noises. There was panting, moaning, and-
“Kurt-”
Kurt’s eyebrows lifted as he smiled in surprise. Either Blaine was cheating on him with another Kurt, or he was keeping busy by himself. Kurt pushed the door open and grinned when he saw Blaine, writhing and sweaty, hand reaching past his bump and moving roughly between his legs. His eyes were closed and his hips were rolling in time with his fingers, jerking as he gasped around unfinished sentences and obscene groans of ‘Kurt’.
Kurt bit his lip and set the plate down on the dresser and yanked at his tie, stripping as quickly as he could without making a sound. He almost fell over but Blaine was so lost in his arousal (and frustration that he could no longer reach what he wanted) that he remained oblivious. He climbed on the bed, amazed that Blaine didn’t feel the mattress sinking, and settled between his legs. He could already feel the heat radiating from him and considered the different ways of approaching the situation. Surprising Blaine was pretty much a guarantee, but he wasn’t the type to do anything half-heartedly.
Blaine felt a change in pressure. The clench around his fingers loosened and something else sucked on them for a beat before something warm and soft pressed between his thighs. He tried to lift his head, but he couldn’t see past his stomach. He didn’t really need to see, though; he’d have known that tongue anywhere.
“Kurt?”
The only response was a hum, making him convulse and shiver. He grabbed blindly at the presence beneath him, catching onto Kurt’s hair. Kurt chuckled at Blaine’s groan and the way he went into spasm, shuddering as his whole body loosened up on the bed.
“Fuck, Blaine, you really couldn’t wait ‘til I got home?”
“Kurt, sorry, I just can’t-”
Blaine buried his face in the pillow and tried to apologise but was cut off as Kurt started sucking on his clit and he couldn’t help thrusting towards his mouth. His lips were swollen and dark pink and his thighs were trembling, occasionally squeezing around Kurt’s head. They were bigger than they used to be, soft and round, along with his belly, hips and ass, and no matter how disgusting Blaine thought he looked, Kurt loved how much of him there was. Kurt stroked up the sides of Blaine’s thighs to rest on his love handles, gripping firmly, smiling when his fingers delved into the pliant flesh covering his hip bones. He used his hold to pull Blaine closer, only stopping sucking so he could delve his tongue between the folds of his pussy. Blaine flung his head back into the mattress, as Kurt had dragged him down away from the pillows, and bucked up as he choked out another moan.
“Oh, God, Kurt, fuck, I, uh…”
Kurt tried to look up to see Blaine’s face, but he was completely hidden behind the bump. He kissed along the stretch marks, replacing his tongue with his thumb as he started pumping two fingers in and out of Blaine’s pussy, dragging slowly as he shifted onto his knees, kissing all over Blaine’s tummy so softly it only pushed him closer to the edge. It didn’t matter where Kurt touched him these days, the lightest brush over his skin, his waist, his shoulder, even a peck on the cheek sent a hot shiver down his spine, and with Kurt’s fingers fucking him while he made his way up to kiss him properly, deeply, letting him taste himself, it wasn’t long before he was shaking, clinging to Kurt’s neck. He let out a stuttered groan and slumped on the mattress and buried his face into Kurt’s shoulder as he was stroked slowly and firmly through his orgasm.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you; that’s it,” he whispered as Blaine’s hips jerked against his hand and he clenched spasmodically around his fingers, “just relax.” He stroked his hair and kissed his temple as he came down. He smiled at Blaine, sprawled out on the bed, panting, his stomach rising and falling as his breathing slowed. Kurt bent down to kiss the bump and kept kissing up his chest to make his way back to Blaine’s face. He cupped his jaw and pecked his nose and they both giggled. Blaine felt something nudge against his abdomen and looked down. He raised his eyebrows and grinned at Kurt, rubbing their noses together and wriggling as close to him as he could.
“You need some help with that?”
Kurt smiled softly, kissing Blaine’s cheek and snuggling up to him.
“No, you don’t have to-”
Blaine kissed him. It wasn’t a come-down, sleepy, content kiss. It was deep and dirty and building up to something.
“I want to.”
Kurt’s eyes widened.
“Seriously? Already? Shit, Blaine-”
“Well, it’s your fault I’m like this. I’d say it’s the least you can do.”
“Never let it be said that I’m not a dutiful husband,” Kurt growled, stroking Blaine’s waist as he rolled over to kneel between his legs again. He dipped two fingers into him where he was slick and still pulsing, dragging a moan out of him when he pulled them out and smeared his juice over his cock, already hard and flushed. “You sure, baby?”
Blaine rolled his eyes and launched himself up, pulling at Kurt’s waist so he had no choice but to drive straight into his pussy, hard and deep and perfect. Kurt stilled for a second, as he tried to take in the sight of Blaine, so round and gasping for air, gasping for him. But as much as Kurt loved him, especially like this, so soft and so much and so desperate, he couldn’t help laughing when he felt Blaine grind onto him in impatience. He leaned down to kiss him, finding a rhythm, only for Blaine to throw his arms around his neck and pull him closer. Kurt slid both hands under his back, lifting him easily despite the extra weight and manoeuvring them both so their hips were locked, thrusting together face to face.
Blaine kissed Kurt again, holding his face with both hands before sliding them down to his chest and pushing him down, slamming him onto the mattress. Kurt grinned devilishly, loving the feel of Blaine’s full weight pinning him down, seeing his face contort as he rolled his hips, driving his cock deeper. He couldn’t bounce up and down like he used to, but now it was intense and determined and purposeful, and if anything his hips were more flexible than before. His mouth fell open as half words and grunts poured out, and he grabbed blindly for Kurt’s hands, linking their fingers together on either side of his head.
He wasn’t sure if it was being held down, the fullness of Blaine’s figure, the bump rubbing up and down against his stomach, or just how completely wrecked Blaine was, but Kurt was barely holding on.
“Fuck, Blaine, I’m- oh, God-”
His back arched and Blaine’s hips started moving faster, desperate to come before Kurt did, just desperate to come however he could, and Kurt tugged his hand free and slid it between them, finding Blaine’s clit again and rubbing it in clumsy circles. Blaine started bucking against his hand, twisting to grab onto Kurt’s knee behind him, changing the angle of his cock and making a filthy moan spill from his lips. He fell forward, his hand diving into Kurt’s hair until their mouths mashed together, teeth colliding, tongues missing each other, until their hips rolled together one more time and they both gasped. Blaine pulled Kurt’s hand up from where he was clinging to the headboard and held it to his belly.
They stayed still for a moment, Blaine still convulsing around Kurt, their breathing harsh and their eyes closed. Kurt’s head flopped back onto the pillow and Blaine eased himself from Kurt’s cock, ignoring the mess they’d made of the sheets and falling down at Kurt’s side. He started nuzzling into his side, and Kurt wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, kissing his forehead.
He felt something move between them and looked down.
“Did he just?”
Blaine nodded.
“I didn’t-”
Blaine shook his head.
“It’s fine. I think he knows I’m sleepy, so obviously it’s time for him to wake up.”
Kurt wrinkled his nose.
“I’m sorry.”
Blaine smiled and snuggled closer to him.
“I guess I can forgive you. But if he’s not really cute I’m suing.”
“I understand. Hey, I brought food up. You hungry?”
“Always. Gimme.”
He lounged in bed, walking his fingers over his belly while Kurt fed him grapes and went down on him until he fell asleep, dead to the world no matter how much the baby kicked. Kurt wasn’t remotely tired, so he wrapped himself around Blaine, tucking his head under his chin and stroking over his tummy with his knuckles. He felt a movement, a kick or a nudge, and it wasn’t enough to wake Blaine, but it was enough to make Kurt tear up. He trapped his lip between his teeth so he wouldn’t make any noise. He bent awkwardly to nuzzle at the curve, kissing the spot the movement had come from.
“God, I can’t wait to meet you. Love you, baby.”
He lay back to look at Blaine again, his nose twitching in his sleep, his hand curling around his belly instinctively. Kurt smiled.
“I love both of you.”
End Notes: okay i promise never to do anything like that again okay bye