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Kurt Hummel, gentleman-burglar

One-shot I've written a while ago, as a part of vintage!AU, Arsène Lupin inspired. Blaine is a passenger on a ship La Provence and meets Kurt, an old friend of Anderson's family.


T - Words: 2,161 - Last Updated: Aug 02, 2012
801 0 0 0
Categories: AU, Crime, Romance,
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,

Author's Notes: I didn't want to post it anywhere else but Tumblr, but a friend of mine insisted, so here you go.
"You are a very mysterious man, Mr. Hummel," Blaine says and gives his companion a warm smile.

They are sitting in the beautiful dining room. Music plays softly in the background, the candle light shines in their eyes. The transatlantic steamship La Provence is the last place Blaine would expect to find his old friend. Well. He isn't Blaine's friend. But Hummels has always been friends of the family, and Burt Hummel before he died, was Mr. Anderson's business partner and also his best friend. Blaine never met Kurt as from what he knew, Kurt was a really sick child and rarely left his home. After his father died, he moved to France to live with his aunt. No one heard from him and Blaine is really glad that eventually the fate has brought them together. He knows his father will be glad to welcome Kurt in their mansion.

"Then why don't you tell me what brings you to America?" he asks. "It must be something really important. It's been years since you left."

"I have already told you, Mr. Anderson," Kurt smiles in somewhat playful way. "I want to see my homeland. Isn't it the best of reasons?"

"You won't fool me," Blaine laughs. "I heard you speaking French."

"And?"

"I have never heard American speaking with such beautiful accent," he says. "Actually, you speak French better than you speak English. I don't think you miss America much. If you had, you would have returned a long time ago."

"Is that so?" Kurt smirks. "Then what do you think? What's your theory? What brings me here?"

"I don't know. Maybe you're Ars�ne Lupin and you're here to rob us."

They both laugh. Ars�ne Lupin is a legend. A hero and a villain. Thief who knows the word "ethic". The man who has never had the blood on his hands. The defender of the innocents and the enemy of those who are rich and contemptible. Loved by the public, and at the same time the most wanted criminal. And he's here. Somewhere between the guests. Blaine overheard someone talking that Ars�ne Lupin wasn't the only one hiding. Policemen working incognito were supposed to arrest him as soon as the ship reaches America.

"You haven't told me what brought you to France," Kurt points out. "How can I know you're not here to rob me?"

"Business," Blaine says, taking a sip from his glass of wine. "Nothing interesting, really. My father wants to expand his activities to the Europe and wanted me to take care of things."

"But I thought your father's factories produce guns and sells them in Europe, anyway."

Blaine laughs. "He wants to have factories in Europe now. England, France, Germany… He says the war is coming and wants to take care of business before it's too late."

Kurt smiles gently. No one really believes in war. No one but fanatics.

"Do you think he's here somewhere?" Blaine asks, his eyes sparkling in the dim candle light. "Ars�ne Lupin, I mean." He looks in Kurt's eyes. "They say he could be anybody."

"Mr. Anderson, one more comment and I will start to think that you're suspecting me," Kurt says, sounding a little offended although he really isn't.

"If you weren't an old friend of the family, indeed, I would suspect you," Blaine laughs. "Then again how can I be sure that you really are Kurt Hummel? I only have your word. My dad isn't here to confirm it."

"Well, if I were indeed Ars�ne Lupin as you suspect me to be, I would have already stolen something from you."

Blaine moves closer with his chair to look deeper in Mr. Hummel's eyes. "And what exactly would you like to steal from me if I may ask?"

"In theory?"

"Of course."

Kurt is examining him with his bright eyes for a moment, and Blaine immediately feels a cold shiver down his spine. Then the man takes Blaine wrist in his hand, and with his long fingers wanders to the signet-ring on Blaine's finger.

"I would never steal that," Kurt says his voice deep, and again mysterious. "I'm afraid it's fake. It's gold, yes, but the ring itself is not… old enough to be in such a respectful family like Andersons. But I have to admit, someone's done a very good work."

"I know it's fake," Blaine smiles. "The original was stolen a long time ago, before I was born. But how did you know that?"

"The symbol on the signet," Kurt replies. "It looks too fresh. And how can I tell? I don't think you want me to bore you with such details. I have my ways. And coming back to your first question… If I were Ars�ne Lupin, I would steal the pocket watch. The one you hide from the world. Of course the one in your pocket is fake. You have the original hidden in your cabin." He ends with a smile.

Blaine looks at him, his eyes wide and skin suddenly pale. "H-how… How do you know about the watch? I have never shown it to anybody. I've never told…"

"In this conversation I am Ars�ne Lupin," Kurt reminds him and gives him an eye. "I cannot share my secrets with my victim. Even a charming one."

"Your victim?"

"I'm about to steal your pocket watch, isn't that correct?"

Blaine takes his hand away from Kurt's grip, and his skin is burning where Kurt touched it. Everything was a game but suddenly it's not anymore. One look in Mr. Hummel's eyes says everything he needs to know.

"It's you," Blaine whispered. "You are Ars�ne Lupin."

Kurt doesn't move. He's not playing, he's not pretending, he doesn't try to explain. He doesn't laugh. In fact, he looks somewhat bored. He sighs and puts a hand in his pocket, clearly looking for something, and then when he finds it, he hands to Blaine something who to his surprise, turns out to be a business card. He has already heard about Ars�ne Lupin and his tricks from the newspapers but still, he reads carefully:

Ars�ne Lupin
The gentleman-burglar

Enchant�!


Blaine looks at him and for the first time, he feels the panic rushing through his veins. He's not afraid of Kurt… Ars�ne stealing something from him. Not knowing what the man's capable of, he's afraid of the worst.

"Now," Kurt said and stood up. "Why don't we go to your cabin and focus on business? Shall we?"

Again Kurt's hand wanders to his pocket.

Blaine is pretty sure he can see the knife.

Kurt waits impatiently for Blaine to open his cabin, and starts tapping his foot to the rhythm of the song played by orchestra when they were leaving the dining room.

"I love the music these days, don't you?" he says, humming quietly. "Maybe it's not very sophisticated but I still enjoy it."

Blaine doesn't answer. His jaw is clenched and his heart beats so loudly that he's actually surprised that Kurt can't hear it. Or maybe he does. He just doesn't care.

"Darling, no need to be so scared," Kurt purrs when Blaine finally opens the door. "Relax a little. We don't want you to die on me here. You're too handsome to be dead."

"If you don't want to kill me, why is there a knife in your pocket?" he asks, his hands trembling slightly.

"I would never kill anyone," Kurt says seriously. "I just don't want you to hurt me, officer Anderson."

Blaine closes the door immediately and pins Kurt to the wall.

"How?" is the only thing he asks.

"You're hurting me now," Kurt points out. He can't move. "I guess it would be a great time to use that knife. But I don't think you'll kill me so maybe I should pass."

"Don't play games and answer my question!"

Kurt rolls eyes. "Policemen. Always so tense." Blaine shakes him violently, and Kurt groans when his head collides with the wall.

"Fine," he says. "First of all, the ring on your finger. It's a fake, made a few days ago. Just before your voyage. The original ring has never been stolen. It still belongs to the real Blaine Anderson." Blaine doesn't interrupt him so he continues. "Another thing. Your accent. It happens that I actually know The Andersons. They're from the south, and you speak like a New Yorker."

He sighs quietly. "Which of course doesn't mean that you're not Blaine Anderson. You are. You're just not the Blaine Anderson. You're one of the policemen. I must say, I'm slightly surprised, I didn't suspect American police to cooperate so nicely with French government. But there is something that I can't understand." He looks in Blaine's eyes who seem slightly less angry, and it makes Kurt smile. Blaine's impressed. "You actually were surprised when I told you I'm Ars�ne Lupin. Of course, you nicely played the victim but still, you were surprised. You're intelligent. I'm brilliant and smarter than you but still, you remained oblivious."

"It just never occurred you," he continues. "That this innocent man with high-pitched voice may be a criminal."

"No," Blaine says. "But I would never expect you to travel as Kurt Hummel."

Kurt laughs. "Why?"

"Because…" Blaine lets go of his hands but he doesn't move away. "This is your real identity. You're… you. No make-up, no masquerades, no changing your voice. Kurt Hummel isn't Ars�ne Lupin. Ars�ne Lupin is Kurt Hummel. The final disguise. And by being so simple, it's the most genius one."

The realization hits him suddenly and his eyes widen. He feels stupid. He understands know how much he underestimated Blaine. Oh, what a game he played. Wonderful, wonderful game. Checkmate. Just like that. Blaine never bothered to hide his identity. Not really. He could if he wanted to but he didn't.

Because he knew who Kurt was from the very beginning.

That was the real reason why he went to France. To find everything about Kurt's past. He found first information in America. But he needed more. The puzzles weren't complete. And at this point, Kurt knows that Blaine has found everything he was looking for.

Kurt's jaw clenches. "You do realize that I can't let go now? Not with this information. I won't let you find your superiors and just tell them everything about me."

"I won't," Blaine says simply.

Kurt raises his eyebrows. "Why?"

"You still don't understand, do you?" Blaine says. He's so close that Kurt can feel his breath on his neck. "You were my mystery. My obsession. I found out about you a few years ago. And I knew I wasn't going to stop until I knew everything about you. Until I caught you."

Kurt stays silent. Blaine takes one of his hands, and entwine their fingers. "And let's say I'd told my superiors I found Ars�ne Lupin. You'd go to jail. The fun is over. I can't let it to be over."

"I will find you again, one day," he says. "And maybe then I will arrest you. Maybe I won't. And trust me. No matter what you'll do, no matter where you'll hide… I will always find you."

They fall silent. Blaine doesn't say another word. Kurt doesn't feel like talking either. Instead he lets Blaine kiss him furiously and moans quietly when Blaine's tongue presses against his lips. He'd kissed boys before, but never, ever liked this. Before he realizes what's happening, his clothes are gone, and Blaine is all over him. His moans vibrating inside him, his mouth against his, skin against skin, forehead against forehead, and Blaine's sweat mixing with his. And this is when Kurt realizes how badly he wants it. How badly he wants Blaine inside him and all over him. They're enemies now, he realizes, but somehow he's already sure that he can't live another minute without him. He hates him and loves him equally. And maybe, just maybe, in different reality they could be lovers. But even with the smell of sex in the air, they're everything but lovers. And it should stay that way forever.

When Blaine wakes up the next morning, the cabin is empty. He smiles gently, and then he notices it. A small card on the pillow.

Checkmate, mon ami.

When he goes to the dining room, everything's louder. The excited voices fill the air, and Blaine sees that policemen aren't incognito anymore. One of his friends, James, waves at him and when Blaine comes closer he says immediately:

"We've got him, buddy! We've got Ars�ne Lupin! Can you believe that?"

Blaine is quiet for a moment. And suddenly he understands. Checkmate. Of course. He can't help but laugh, and James gives him a worried look but he doesn't care.

He's not very surprised when a month later, every newspaper has the same headline:

Ars�ne Lupin's marvelous disappearance! The gentleman-thief comes back!

Blaine just shakes his head with a smile. He knew a long time before newspapers. One day earlier, someone's stolen his pocket watch during the dinner with his brother, Cooper. Restaurant was an easy target, he had to admit. Instead of a watch, in his pocket he found another card:

Find me now, mon ami!
You promised!

Yours forever,
Ars�ne Lupin


And lower:

P.s. Your watch isn't working. Why would you own a watch that's not working? You are a mysterious man, Mr. Anderson.

And of course, being a gentleman, Blaine would never break the promise.

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