Aug. 19, 2012, 10:59 a.m.
Dirty Thoughts of a Baby Penguin
Kurt goes in search of Blaine to help him decorate Pav's casket and got more than he bargained for. Awkward!Kurt
T - Words: 3,626 - Last Updated: Aug 19, 2012 1,222 0 1 0 Categories: Cotton Candy Fluff, Romance, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: friendship,
Kurt walked down the hall towards Blaine's dorm. He was distraught. Pavarotti was his best friend, and now he was dead. His confidant was ripped away from him, and now he was left despondent in his unrequited love alone, with no one to talk too. He had spent the last few days wallowing, while Blaine and his Dad tried to cheer him up, but it just wasn't the same.
Sure his dad would listen, but it wasn't the same. He couldn't talk to his father about obliviously adorable boys. That would just be awkward for both of them.
While Blaine was an excellent listener, who always came up with something to add the make the situation better, he being the object of his desire was completely out of the question to complain to. But that didn't mean he couldn't talk to him in other cases and ask for help.
Yesterday, Finn had found Pav in their meat freezer, where Kurt had stored him until he could be buried, and had screamed loudly alerting his Dad and Carole. They told him that maybe keeping a dead bird in the freezer for a week, while he mourned for his bird's death wasn't a good idea, if he wasn't even making preparations yet for the burial.
So now, he was going to Blaine's room to ask if he'd like to help decorate Pav's casket. Blaine had loved that bird almost as much as he did, having been Pav's previous owner. So it was only right that Blaine was able to pay his respects the same way that Kurt could.
He was going to miss Pav so much. That bird had brought them together so many times, he'd lost count. Most of his best memories with Blaine was with that bird. Like when they would come over to each others houses to finish up some of their school work, and get so caught up singing with the Pav, they wouldn't get around to finishing it for hours.
Once Blaine had even released Pav in his bed room and they dance around singing as Pav flew circles around them tweeting along to the tone.
Kurt smiled to himself. He would remember that day for a long time. Blaine had held him close as the spun in circles with ridiculous smiles plastered on their faces. Kurt had even dipped Blaine a few times while Blaine laughed happily to himself. As Kurt had pulled Blaine back up they'd locked eyes, and Kurt was almost certain Blaine was going to kiss him. But then Pav had landed in Blaine's gelled curls, and the spell had been broken, in favor of Blaine exclaiming for him to take a picture while he grinned widely at the little bird perched upon his head.
He didn't think he'd imagined the look in Blaine's eyes. But Blaine hadn't done anything about it since then, so it really hadn't mattered. Kurt was content with where he stood with Blaine. He wasn't going push his luck for one little kiss.
Kurt grinned at the memory as he turned the corner to the hallway of Blaine's dorm. Not many people were in their dorms right now, but that was common as it was mid-day. But after a quick hug this morning, Blaine had stuttered out that he needed to go to his dorm and think about something for awhile. Kurt had been worried all morning about him, but figured he needed to give the boy sometime with whatever it was he'd been struggling with. It had been a few hours now though, and certainly Blaine would welcome the distraction.
Kurt approached Blaine door and rose his hand to knock. He stopped himself when he heard a low whine coming from inside the room. Kurt bit his lip in confusion before slowly opening the door. Blaine might be hurt, and surely social convention was below helping his best friend. Blaine wouldn't mind. He edged the door open and walked inside stopping at the sight. His mouth dropped open in shock.
Blaine was on his bed. Not only was he on his bed, but he wasn't wearing clothes, and his hands- they were… Blaine was touching himself. Kurt's mouth dried up at the thought, as he tried to will his body to move. Blaine would not be happy if he found out Kurt saw him do…this, and he'd be even more embarrassed if he opened his eyes right now and saw Kurt. But Kurt couldn't move, he was too caught up in the way Blaine's eyes were scrunched together tightly, and the little whimpers that Blaine was making. Suddenly Blaine let out a loud moan, his back lifting off the bed for a few seconds. "Kuuurrt"
Kurt eyes widened as his feet suddenly cooperated. He ran as fast as he could out of Blaine's room, only stopping to close the door tightly. Had Blaine seen him? He must have. That was why he had said his name, right? Certainly Blaine wouldn't be doing… that, while thinking of him. So Blaine had seen him, and now they were going to have to talk about it. He'd be lying if he wasn't a little aroused by the thought of Blaine doing that, and now the image was running through his mind repeatedly making his pants a little tighter with every step. But that didn't mean he wanted to talk about… doing those things.
This was going to taint their friendship, he just knew it. Kurt sighed unhappily as he walked back to the commons he had fixed up for decorating the casket. He'd concentrate on that for awhile, and tried to push the thought of Blaine in that position out of his mind. Besides Blaine knew how uncomfortable he was with the topic. Maybe if he pretended he hadn't seen anything, Blaine wouldn't try to bring it up, when he inevitably found him. 'Yes. That would the most ideal situation' Kurt thought as he settled down in his chair in front of the tiny boxes he would bury his little bird in.
Kurt remained in the room for a few hours as he glued little jewels on the box happily. The thought of Blaine hovered in the back of his mind refusing to go away. He didn't want to think of Blaine like that, it would only lead to trouble. But he couldn't push it out of his mind, because wow. Blaine was just, he was perfect. Sure he had seen Blaine without his shirt off a few times, because the Warblers, who were admittedly dapper to outsiders, sometimes got up to some crazy things after hours. But he had never had the opportunity to take in Blaine chest. That would have been inappropriate to do, and he'd never had the urge to lick sweat off of Blaine's neck before. The look on Blaine's face as he moaned, it was utterly breathtaking, and the way his voice had quivered as he said Kurt's name. Kurt had to stop several times to remind himself to breath and also remember that he shouldn't be thinking of Blaine like that. He was just a friend and nothing more.
Kurt's face scrunched up a little as he tried to concentrate on getting one of jewels exactly centered as he pushed the unwelcome thoughts away
"What's that?" Kurt jumped suddenly at the sound of Blaine's voice. 'Oh god, he knows I what I was just thinking about and now he's going to confront me'.
"I'm decorating Pavarotti's casket." Kurt told him looking up nervously as he waited for Blaine's accusation.
"Well, finish up. I have the perfect song for our number and we should practice." Blaine told Kurt nervously as he paused next to the table. 'maybe he decided not to bring it up?'
"Do tell." Kurt asked intrigued. He really loved this boy, anyone else would have immediately brought the situation up, but Blaine was willing to just ignore it for the sake of Kurt's comfort.
"'Candles' by Hey Monday. " Blaine told him voice not nearly as confident as usual but putting on a smile by the end. 'A break up song? Was this Blaine's way of telling him how uncomfortable the situation made him? Oh my gosh. Did these mean Blaine didn't want to be his friend anymore?'
"I'm impressed. You're usually so Top 40." Kurt smiled trying to hide his inner thoughts, maybe Blaine just wanted to sing that song. It was just a performance. It didn't mean anything.
"Well, I just…wanted something a little more emotional." Blaine sighed as he sat down next to Kurt, a smile still plastered on his face.
'Emotional? Maybe he really didn't want to be friends with him anymore? But that doesn't make sense, if Blaine really didn't want to be friends anymore, he would at least do Kurt the courtesy of telling him, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. It was just Blaine's way. No, Blaine was avoiding the situation, it must be about something else.'
"Why did you pick me to sing that song with?" Kurt asked, he had to be sure this wasn't about what had happened earlier.
Blaine paused for a moment as if to prepare himself. He shut his eyes before finally speaking "Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, 'Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever.'"
'What?!' Kurt's mind was reeling, all thoughts flew out of Kurt's brain, even the ones of earlier. 'Is he saying what I think he is say?'
Blaine took a deep breath before moving in and placing his hand on top of Kurt's "Watching you do Blackbird this week…that was a moment for me. About you." Blaine paused for a moment trying to find the words to finish what he wanted to tell Kurt.
Kurt tried to control the ridiculous smile that was threatening to cross his face. 'Blaine couldn't know about it, if he was saying. No that didn't matter right now, Blaine had just told him that he'd been looking for him forever. Nothing else in the world matters.'
"You move me, Kurt. And this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you."
'I move Blaine' Kurt's head helpfully supplied as the rest of his body twitched in anticipation. He couldn't pull his eyes away from Blaine's lips, and he was pretty sure his lips were quivering as he tried to find words to respond.
They were unneeded though, as Blaine leaned in gently pressing his lips against Kurt's. He felt Blaine reach a hand up to cup his face, and suddenly he snapped out of his trance. 'Blaine Anderson is kissing me.' His mind informed him. Kurt responded quickly, as he began to kiss Blaine back. His hand started to shake where it rested on the table, so he moved it to cup the other side of Blaine's face. They kissed passionately for a few seconds more, before he felt Blaine start to pull away a ridiculously wide smile appearing on his face.
"We should-we should practice." Blaine commented nervously blushing as his hand moved up in an attempt to hold his head.
"I thought we were." Kurt responded cheekily too happy to contain the joy that was clearly displayed across his face.
Blaine suddenly started to lean in again, and Kurt met him in the middle, their lips sealing together in a passionate kiss. He moved his hand up again to cup Blaine's face again as he felt Blaine's arms wound around his waist holding him close. Kurt moved to sit down again and Blaine came with him, falling into his lap, as they continued kissing. He felt Blaine's hands move up until he had his arms wrapped around Kurt's neck, he leaned into the kiss as his tongue began to explore Kurt's mouth. Kurt moved his arms down to Blaine's waist pulling him in closer, as Blaine let out a little moan, while their tongues started to battle for dominance. Kurt froze for a second as the image of Blaine on his bed suddenly appearing in his head. He shifted slightly hoping Blaine didn't notice his sudden discomfort and continued to kiss Blaine happily as he pushed the thought out of his head. Eventually they broke apart for air. Blaine didn't pull away though, he just rested his head against Kurt's shoulder as a silly little grin appeared on his face.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked running one his hands down Kurt's arms.
"Hmm?" Kurt responded leaning his head against Blaine's and pulling him closer, content to hold him.
"Will you go to dinner with me tomorrow?" Blaine stopped moving his hand and bite his lip.
"Blaine we always go to dinner together." Kurt smiled rolling his eyes at Blaine in fond exasperation. "You don't have to ask."
"Oh," Blaine suddenly deflated moving away from Kurt suddenly, as if he was hurt. "I just thought that- never mind." Blaine looked down at his hands and started to get up
"Wait. Blaine!" Kurt moved suddenly grabbing Blaine's arm to keep him from leaving. "You weren't asking about dinner, were you? Gosh, I'm an idiot." Kurt laughed slightly looking up from the hand that was grasping Blaine's arm into Blaine's eyes. "You were asking me on a date right?"
Blaine blushed in confirmation, looking down at his shoes miserably. " I got us reservations at that new Italian restaurant, Nick's been raving about."
"Oh Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed jumping up happily and throwing his arms around Blaine. "Of course. I'll go to dinner with you" He drew away from the hug for a second to place a kiss on Blaine's lips, just because he could. "It's perfect."
Blaine's smile returned to his face "Ok, right, good."
Kurt moved back sitting down again as he started to pick up the jewels in put them inside the box. "Blaine, help me pack this all up. I'll finish later."
Blaine quickly moved to start helping Kurt. They made a quick job of it, and Kurt stored his supplies in his bag hoisting it on his shoulder.
As they walked out of the commons, Kurt glanced down at Blaine's hand in wonder before bumping his hand against Blaine's until he got the hint. Blaine took his hand with a smile as they continued to walk, Kurt leading the way as he needed to drop off his bag in his room. They saw a few Warblers on the way there, who gave them a grin as they walked by with their hands swinging slightly, in good spirits.
As they arrived at Kurt's door, the memory of walking in on Blaine a few hours ago appeared, and Kurt shook his head to try to clear it out of his mind as he pushed his door open. He set his bag down on his chair and looked at Blaine.
"So what do you want to do?" Blaine asked happily as he released Kurt hand
"I- excuse me?" Kurt asked his voice a pitch higher then normal, the thought of Blaine naked still clearly cemented in his mind.
"Well, we don't have to do anything, I just thought you'd want to watch of movie or something." Blaine reassured him nervously hoping Kurt wouldn't send him away.
"Oh right." Kurt laughed nervously. "Well I chose last time, so it's your turn." He walked over to his couch, sitting down as he saw Blaine move over to his DVD collection grabbing a random one out.
Kurt shook his head giggling silently to himself as Blaine put it in. Blaine never looked at the DVD's, he just grabbed. After the fifth time Blaine did it, Kurt asked why, and Blaine reassured him that if it was in his collection it had to be good. Kurt had called him a dork and threw a kernel of popcorn at his head. It had been a mistake because it had started a popcorn fight and woken up Blaine's roommate. But it was worth it, just to see the happy grin on Blaine's adorable face.
Blaine sat down next to him grabbing the remote in order to start the movie and then leaned back against the couch. As the title "Time Traveler's Wife" came up, Kurt took the remote from his hands and after the mother and son stopped singing their first song, he fast forwarded to the boy in his living room. Blaine winced slightly. The mother had died in a car accident while singing with her son. That was exactly how Kurt's mother had died. He pulled Kurt in against him hugging him tightly, as the boy came back to the accident and a man explained he was a time traveler. "It's okay, Kurt." Blaine muttered against Kurt's hair stroking his hand back and forth against Kurt's back in comfort.
The next shot was of the man standing naked in the library having traveled back. Blaine shifted uncomfortably, holding Kurt tighter, but not saying anything. 'Was he allowed to comment on the men in the movies now that they were a couple, or would that just make Kurt feel inadequate or uncomfortable?' He felt Kurt stiffen next to him, and he decided he better not. It wasn't like this man was even a fifth as attractive as his Kurt, anyhow.
Kurt's eyes widened during this scene. All thoughts of his mother gone. Henry, the man on the screen, reminded him of the incident that happened a few hours earlier, and even if it hadn't he'd always imagined Blaine would look very much like Eric Bana when he got older. In fact the entire character of Henry reminded him so much of Blaine. He dreaded the rest of the movie. Henry was very naked a lot, and he couldn't let Blaine see him getting aroused. Embarrassing as it would be, Blaine would assume it was because of the movie, not because Kurt had caught him moaning his name, and now this movie was making sure to remind him of it as much as it could.
He had to tell Blaine, what had happened. Blaine clearly wasn't aware of it, or else he would have said something by now. But he was going to feel so guilty until Blaine knew.
They'd always shared everything before. It felt like if he didn't tell him now, it was going to set the tone of their relationship. They couldn't start hiding things from one another. It just wasn't the way they worked. Kurt sat in silence for awhile cuddled against Blaine as he tried to think of a way to tell him that didn't make him cringe.
When Henry gets on the subway, Kurt's guilt hit him hard. It was the scene where a grown Henry talks to his mother when he is three. It was just the push Kurt needed because thoughts of his mother suddenly appeared. He knew she would never want Kurt to keep something that was bothering him from the people he loved. She'd always told him to talk things out. So he did.
"I saw you earlier." Kurt stated matter-of-factly. It seemed the easiest way to tell Blaine, and he needed to just get it out there, before he freaked out. Blaine paused the movie quickly when he heard Kurt speak and turned to him.
"What do you mean?" Blaine asked confused "Earlier?"
"I came to your room to ask if you wanted to help with Pav's casket, and I," Kurt paused trying to prepare himself for what he would say next. "I, um saw what you were doing." Kurt wrung his fingers as he felt Blaine pull away.
"You saw me earl-"Blaine face lit up in sudden realization before he turned to Kurt in horror. "Oh my gosh. Kurt, I can explain. I, ah, I didn't mean to, it was the first time that has ever happened I swear. I- ah- I would never try to-" Blaine blushed as he continued stuttering until he felt Kurt place his hand on Blaine's arm.
"I'm not asking you to explain, Blaine. I just thought you should know." Kurt leaned in hugging Blaine. "And I know you are a perfect gentlemen, you don't have to justify yourself." He kissed Blaine's forehead moving closer.
Kurt thought to himself for a minute. Did he really want to go down this path? He wasn't immensely as uncomfortable with this conversation as he thought he would be so he took a shot. "The first that has ever happened? Certainly you've done…that before."
Blaine ducked his head, his face turning a darker shade of red that Kurt thought was utterly adorable. He obviously didn't expect Kurt to ask. "Well, ah. It's generally always been a faceless guy." Blaine looked up at him nervously. "That was the first time it was actually someone I knew."
Kurt reddened thinking about his response for a minute. It seemed like he should have felt violated when he heard Blaine moan his name. But he wasn't. That thought had never crossed his mind, he'd only felt shock and concern that Blaine would be embarrassed. So clearly, it didn't really bother him as much as it should have. He was still uncomfortable about sex, but Blaine hadn't really made him uncomfortable. So he decided it was fine, Blaine was his boyfriend now, Blaine was allowed to think of him like that. A thought suddenly sprung to mind, and Kurt began to worry.
"That- um. That wasn't why you came to the commons right?"
"Oh no, no!" Blaine exclaimed in horror at the thought pulling Kurt into a hug for reassurance. "I didn't do it because of that, sweetheart. I meant every word I said." Blaine stroked his hands through Kurt's hair trying to make sure he understood.
Kurt started to giggle happily tightening his grip on Blaine. "What's so funny, Kurt?"
"Oh, Nothing." Kurt looked up beaming as continued giggling "Honey."
"Oh, I see" Blaine grinned back at Kurt before taking Kurt's face in his hands and pressing his lips against Kurt's, their movie and conversation long forgotten in favor of discovering a part of each other that was new, but old in the same way.
Anyway I'm going to try to write some ACWT soon I swear. Also I have a 20 or pages of this thing I need to make a few adjustments to, to make it a little bit more fic like, and then I will post that too. Also I rp. That is what I do instead of writing a fic I am so desperately aware I need to write, because I have so much plot for that, I just need to write it all. Anyway. If you want to follow that, it is 'ablazernamedblaine' we haven't quite started yet, since we rebooted. (yes that is what the 20 or so pages are, I'm not going to let all of that writing go to waste.) Oh and my main blog in which you can tell me to stop being a dumbass and start writing. (honestly I welcome that) is porcelainhobbits. I also track a chance worth taking in case you want to complain there.
Ok so opinions of this fic please? And who do you suppose fits Clare and Henry. Obviously Kurt thinks Blaine is Henry lol, I have a slightly differing opinion.
Also you should know, in the original idea of this, they actually get to the first date before Kurt's start blurting lol. I still have ideas for that, but I think I can use them elsewhere
Comments
Haha, Kurt seeing Blaine jerking off - great. Kurt hearing Blaine moaning his name while jerking off - perfect! ;D x