Feb. 15, 2015, 6 p.m.
Let Me Confess My Undying Love For You
Reaction fic for 6x07. Kurt knows something was off with Blaine when he came to McKinley. And as a good friend he is, he is going to find out what was bothering his ex-fiance. One-shot.
K - Words: 2,362 - Last Updated: Feb 15, 2015 1,324 0 0 0 Categories: Romance, Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Tags: hurt/comfort,
Thank you for reading my little story. What do you think about it? Let me know if you like it. =)
I want to thank Kelly for being one hell of an editor. =)
Nika
Kurt shifted nervously on his seat for the thousandth time that evening, earning, again, curious looks from the three people sitting with him behind the table. The food on his plate was almost untouched and his contribution to the conversation could be summed up with one word - none. It seemed like the only activity he was interested in was checking his phone every five minutes.
"Are you okay?" Walter asked, concerned, and Kurt shot him a half convincing smile, assuring him he was alright. Rachel glared at him and kicked him under the table but Kurt just glared back at her and then fixed his eyes on the display of his phone.
"Please, excuse me. I need to use the restroom," he said and before anyone could say anything, he was gone.
As soon as he was out of sight, just around the corner in the hallway of the restaurant they were having their double date in, he dialed a familiar number.
"Come on, pick up the damn phone," he mumbled when his call was sent to voicemail. He tried it one more time. Nothing.
"Kurt," Rachel suddenly hissed into his ear, startling him. "What the hell are you doing? Get back to the table. Now!"
"I cant get in touch with Blaine!"
"You cant get in touch with Blaine? Are you crazy? You left ten minutes ago so you could call your ex?"
"There was something wrong with him today, Rachel. He wanted to talk to you about something...What if something happened? Youre his friend Rachel, you should have known something was bothering him!"
"He said he didnt remember what he wanted to talk about! We were on our way here. What was I supposed to do?"
"I dont know. Maybe take a minute to talk to him! Hes not responding to any of my text messages and the calls go straight to voicemail. I knew something was wrong. I knew it!"
"Kurt, do you realize how stupid this is? You are on a date for Gods sake! You cant just ditch Walter to call Blaine!"
"I wouldnt have to call him if you were a good friend to him and realized that something was wrong when he came to see you at McKinley!"
"Oh dont you dare put this on me, Kurt Hummel! Im nothing but a good friend to both of you. I do my best to balance this post break up situation and be there for you and for him but its really hard. I was nothing but supportive of you and your weird relationship with a guy who is the same age as my dads! I stood by you when you said you wanted to get Blaine back, I stood by you when you said you respect his relationship with Karofsky and dont wanna interfere. I was supportive when you started dating a fifty year old guy and I tried to make him welcome. I did everything I could not to be judgmental about it because youre trying to move on and its my job as your best friend to be here for you. But I cant be here for you and Blaine at the same time. Its not possible, Kurt! How would you feel if I cancelled our double date because Blaine had some troubles?"
"I need to go. I have to make sure he is okay."
"Kurt, were not done with dinner."
"Well, I am." Kurt turned on his heel and went back to their table, making up a very convincing tale about how he didnt feel good and that he should probably go home. A few minutes later he was behind the steering wheel of his car, on his way to Blaines apartment.
He didnt think when he banged on the door forcefully. He had no clue what he was doing there, or what he would tell Karofsky if he happened to open the door. He just needed to see Blaine. He thanked whatever deity that was up there when Blaine appeared at the door, a little sad, but all in all intact.
"Kurt? What are you doing here?"
"You werent answering your phone! Who does that? Do you have any idea how worried I was?"
"I wasnt in the mood to talk to anybody."
"Well, you could have at least replied to one of my texts, then! You know I hate it when I cant get in touch with you! What the hell, Blaine?"
"Im fine, okay? Im fine."
"Okay," Kurt nodded and took a deep breath. "Now, Im sorry if I interrupted anything. I hope Karofsky will understand my concern for you and he wont mind that I stopped by to check on you."
"Dave isnt here. And its not your place to be concerned about me anymore, Kurt."
"Its not my place? Its NOT my place?!" Kurt raised his voice and pushed Blaine inside, shutting the door behind them. He wasnt going to make a scene in the hallway but he had something to say about his concerns!
"I thought we agreed to be friends! And friends do worry about each other when something is obviously wrong! I know you. I can read you like an open book by this point! You came to McKinley because you wanted to talk about something. You let us shut you out, once again, when you found out we had plans but there was something wrong! And then you just turned off your phone so nobody could reach you and you expect me to be okay with it? I might have been an awful boyfriend and fiance but I am a good friend! And I cant help it, okay? Ill always worry about you! I know you moved on. I know I was late when I came to get you back but you are still my best friend, Blaine. So excuse me, if I worry when something is off!"
"Kurt, you cant cut your date short just because I dont pick up my phone," Blaine said tiredly.
"A date," Kurt snickered and leaned his back against the wall. He closed his eyes, trying to prevent the tears from breaking free but it was too late. "You wanna know about my date? I was glued to my phone so I wouldnt miss it if you texted me back. Walter is a very nice guy. Hes smart and witty and he treats everyone with the respect they deserve. He is sophisticated and we have a lot in common. Its easy to talk to him." Kurt turned his head to look at Blaine and the sight almost broke his heart. Blaine was sitting on the stool, his eyes filled with tears and Kurt had to beat the urge to run to him and take him into his arms. It was not his place to soothe him anymore.
"Hes kind of perfect. Hes like...cut out of my fifteen-year-old-self dream. Except that hes a lot older than someone I ever imagined myself with...But you know what? Even if he was twenty or thirty years younger than he is now, even if he was the most perfect human being on the whole planet, it still wouldnt be enough for me. We agreed to take it slow but there is no future in it. Neither for him, nor for me. We both know that. We keep each other company so we wont be lonely. I mostly hang out with him because it makes it seem like I moved on and no one is bothering me about it anymore. I appreciate their well meaning advice. And I know Ill have to move on eventually but that time hasnt come for me. I havent come to terms with blowing the best thing that ever happened to me yet. I know there is nothing I can do about it now. Youre with Karofsky and you seem content and happy. I respect that and I need you to know that I wish you all the best. You deserve to be loved and cherished and be with someone who is not afraid of intimacy. Im not afraid of it anymore...I just...Im not ready to share it with someone who isnt you. I made lot of mistakes and Ive learned from them. Unfortunately, it took me a little too much time and I lost you for them. The thing is, there will never be anyone like you. There will never be anyone more perfect for me than you. You have flaws and insecurities but you arent afraid to show them. You loved me with everything you had and sometimes it was overwhelming but it was the best feeling in the whole world. Im not ready to give up and admit that its over. I wanna keep it with me for a while longer because I know I will have to suppress these memories if I want to ever be in a relationship with someone else."
"Kurt…" Blaine said in a pleading voice that meant he wanted Kurt to stop talking but once Kurt started he had to get everything out. He walked slowly to the kitchen counter and stood right in front of Blaine.
"I love you, Blaine. I always have and I always will. I told June Dolloway that youre the love of my life and nothing and no one will come between us and I cant believe I let ME come between us. I have this recurring nightmare. All I see is your face when I broke off our engagement and usually I just cry myself to sleep after that. Im so sorry I hurt you, Blaine. I promised I wouldnt but I did. I promised I would never say goodbye to you but I did. I never really got a chance to tell you how sorry I am about it. Its my biggest regret and I want you to know that if I could take back the time and do everything differently, I would."
"Kurt…"
"God, this is probably the most inappropriate place to tell you this but I finally had to. Im sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I guess what I meant to say was that I will always care whether you are okay or not. So next time when you ignore your phone, expect me to come and see if you are safe. I wont hesitate to contact the FBI if I have to and you know Im not joking. Now, Im still your friend and Im here to listen to whatever it was you wanted to tell Rachel. Because there was something you came to McKinley to say and we failed to give you the support you needed. Which I am also sorry for."
"Dave broke up with me," Blaine confessed quietly.
"Oh," Kurts heart was beating fast as he took a seat next to Blaine. Blaine came to McKinley to seek comfort after the break up. The comfort that no one gave him when Kurt broke up with him. The comfort everyone should get from their friends…
"Im so sorry, Blaine. Did you guys get into a fight? Do you want to win him back? Maybe you can give him some time and then talk it out? Or maybe we can come up with some idea for a song you could serenade him with...I mean, Karofsky doesnt seem like someone who would enjoy it but youre a pro at serenading. Hell love it…"
"After everything youve just told me, youre going to sit here and help me to get back together with Dave?"
"Well, thats what friends are for, right?" Kurt asked, uncertain. "To help you and support you when you need it…"
"I dont want to win Dave back, Kurt. I want YOU to win ME back. Dave broke up with me because he knew I still have feelings for you."
Kurt blinked at him few times, and then the stream of new tears fell down his face.
"Y-You want me to...Are you serious?"
"I came to McKinley to tell you that I love you."
Kurt was full on crying but his eyes were shining with happiness. He laughed out loud and wiped the tears away with the back of his hand but it was pointless since new ones were still running down his cheeks.
"Why didnt you tell me? Oh my god, Blaine. I would have forgotten all about the double date and run away with you!"
"You respected my relationship with Dave. I respected your relationship with the old guy."
"Its not a relationship. We just hang out and call it dating."
"How was I supposed to know?" Blaine shrugged his shoulders but he was smiling brightly.
"I went to therapy." Kurt said softly. "After we broke up. And I worked on my issues. I want you to know that. I swear things will never get out of hand like before. I cant promise we wont fight. People fight, its natural. What I can promise is to always talk things out. I will never shut you out ever again. I will stock our household with plenty of towels and when I wipe my toothpaste mouth into one, I will throw it into a laundry basket and Ill put a new one in the bathroom. And I promise I will…"
"Kurt," Blaine put his finger on his mouth to shut him up. "We have enough time to talk about our issues. We dont have to do it right now."
"Okay," Kurt nodded and smiled. "I really want to kiss you right now but not here. Im sorry but I hate this apartment. Can we go somewhere else?"
"Wherever you want."
Kurt grabbed his hand and they quickly left the apartment. He led Blaine to his car and opened the passenger door for him. He drove around Lima for almost half an hour, trying to pick the best spot for the best reunion kiss until Blaine grew impatient and told him to park the car in the parking lot in front of the mall.
"Here?" Kurt asked with raised eyebrows, not liking their surroundings at all. There was nothing romantic about the mall.
"Here."
"Okay," Kurt unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, Blaine following his lead. They met by the trunk and Kurt stopped caring where they were with one look into Blaines eyes. He put one arm around his waist to bring him closer.
"Mr. Blaine Anderson, let me confess my undying love for you and give you the worlds most passionate kiss."