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Happiness Never Held Onto Me

Kurt sees no problem with wearing a kilt to school - but everyone else certainly does. Fortunately, Puck has a plan.


K - Words: 4,161 - Last Updated: Nov 25, 2011
1,375 0 1 4
Categories: Romance,
Characters: Blaine Anderson, David Karofsky, Kurt Hummel, Noah Puckerman,
Tags: hurt/comfort,

Author's Notes: McKinley!Blaine before it was canon. Woo.
Blaine no longer does a double take at his boyfriend's insane outfits every day, which is good because he has more of a chance to do a double take at how gorgeous his boyfriend is no matter what he's wearing. Sometimes, though, he has to stop and stare and wonder why.

Today is one of those days.

"Oh my god," Blaine says when Kurt greets him by his locker one morning. His voice is calm, but he can't focus on Kurt's face because he's too busy staring at his legs.

"Good morning to you, too," Kurt chirps.

"You're wearing a skirt," Blaine says stupidly, because, well, he is.

"Kilt," Kurt corrects with a smile, pulling some books from his locker. "And it is men's clothing, for your information, so don't start."

"Nnngh." Blaine replies, trying to drag his eyes from Kurt's very long, very elegant legs.

"I figure if Gerard Butler can rock one I have a shot, right?" Before Blaine has a chance to say that Kurt is so much hotter than Gerard Butler, which, let's face it, is hard to do, Kurt kisses him on the cheek. "Actually, don't answer that. See you in Glee Club?"

Blaine nods, and he doesn't notice the stares Kurt gets as he walks away.

--

Kurt does notice the stares, but he tries his hardest to pretend they're appreciative, or maybe awe-inspired, not bewildered or amused like their laughter would imply. After all, what other boy here could rock this look? Except for Blaine, maybe. Ooh, there's a nice mental image.

The sight of Karofsky snaps him out of these pleasant thoughts. He watches as the bully's eyes linger on his legs, linger for far too long, and shudders. When their eyes meet, Karofsky's expression is one of hate and confusion, and far more terrifying, want. He steps to the side to deliberately shoulder-check Kurt, just enough to make him stumble and nearly drop his books, and then he's gone. Kurt takes a deep breath.

He came back to McKinley because he's not afraid anymore, refuses to be afraid. Like hell will they make him regret his clothing choices.

Kurt keeps walking, head held high.

--

"Oh god. That's just a whole new level of gay."

"Fascinating, Noah." Kurt struts into the choir room and sits down between Blaine and Mercedes. "I wasn't aware that there was a higher level of gay. You must be quite the expert on the matter."

"Damn straight," Puck says proudly. Lauren snorts loudly, Puck looks confused, and Finn reaches over and gives Kurt a high five.

"But seriously," Mercedes says, eyeing his outfit critically. "Why are you wearing a skirt?"

"It's a kilt," Kurt corrects, and wonders why no one understands this. "It's Scottish."

"Are you even Scottish?"

"It's very…plaid." Says Quinn.

"Is Kurt a girl now?" Brittany whispers. Kurt rolls his eyes.

"I think it's hot." Blaine nudges Kurt with his shoulder.

"Oh really?" Kurt raises his eyebrows. "Hmm. Noted." Kurt drapes his legs over Blaine's lap, which seems to please him for the moment. Other than a few more comments from the boys, everyone shuts up about his outfit, and he gets to feel his boyfriend's eyes on him from across the room while he tries to dance in the kilt, so everything turns out okay.

--

Kurt and Blaine are walking hand in hand when Kurt suddenly slams back into a locket, crying out in surprise or pain, Blaine can't tell which.

"Hey! What the hell?" Blaine yells. Karofsky and Azimio turn back to face him.

"Problem, Frodo?" Azimio sneers.

"Yeah, actually."

"Blaine," Kurt warns. He sounds tired more than angry or sad, and for some reason that's terrifying. Blaine ignores him.

"We were just wondering when Hummel here got a sex change," Karofsky said. "Or is he just embracing his inner drag queen?"

Kurt gapes at them. "Seriously? You're harassing me because you don't approve of my outfit? Out of everything you could hate me for?"

"How many times do we have to say it? You come in here dressed like a girl, you're provoking us." Karofsky snaps back. "So why don't you take your faggot skirts and your faggot boy toy back to that prep school where you belong, since you're obviously too good for the likes of us."

"It's not a skirt, it's a kilt," Kurt says automatically, but then Blaine steps forward.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to talk to him like that?" He snarls.

"Blaine," Kurt says sharply.

"He can't just –"

"They're not worth it."

Azimio and Karofsky just laugh. When Kurt starts to stand up straight and leave, Karofsky pushes him back into the locker before high-fiving Azimio and walking away.

Kurt inhales shakily, straightening out his kilt and jacket.

"Kurt, are you…"

"Stop fussing. I'm fine." His voice trembles, and his fingers clutch at the strap of his bag so hard his knuckles turn white. Blaine hates this more than he hates Karofsky, hates seeing Kurt scared and hurt. He hates it so much that he wants to punch someone, and he's not a violent person by any means.

"You are not. God damn it. I'm going to kill him."

"Don't you dare get yourself hurt because of me, Blaine Anderson. I said I'm fine, so leave it. Let's just get this day over with." Kurt sighs.

Blaine shakes his head. "Come on." Kurt frowns. Blaine grabs his hand. "We're going to see the principal."

"Oh god. No. I've tried it, he's not going to listen," Kurt protests as Blaine drags him along. "He doesn't care."

"It's different now. I saw you get harassed, so you have a witness. Maybe we have a chance this time." When Kurt still resists, Blaine sighs. It's time to pull out his ace card. "I can't sit by and watch this happen to you. I can't. Every time that… that bastard comes near you it just kills me. Please, please let me help you."

Kurt doesn't look pleased about it, and Blaine understands why. Kurt hates asking for help, hates feeling weak. Blaine understands, but that doesn't mean he agrees. Maybe it's because he's a coward, whereas Kurt is the bravest person he knows, but he doesn't feel like it's wrong to get help.

"Do you want to go get Mr. Schue to talk to him with us?" Blaine asks gently. Kurt shakes his head. "Or Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell? Or… heck, even Coach Sylvester. She kind of likes you. I think."

"It won't make a difference." They pause in front of the door to Figgins' office, and Kurt hesitates. "It's not like I'm scared," he says, looking over at Blaine, begging him to understand. "It's just… setting myself up for failure is something I'm way too accustomed to."

"But you'll never get anything accomplished if you don't push boundaries," Blaine points out.

"That's true." Sucking in a deep breath, Kurt knocks on the door. After a moment, Figgins' voice tells them to come inside.

Blaine squeezes Kurt's hand as they step inside the office. Figgins glances up at them. "Mr. Hummel. Mr. Anderson." He frowns. "Mr. Hummel, is that a skirt you're wearing?"

"No sir. It's a kilt."

"It looks like women's clothing to me."

"I assure you, sir, it's not."

"…right." Figgins doesn't look convinced. "Please take a seat. What can I do for you?"

Kurt clears his throat. "I wanted to report to you that David Karofsky has been harassing me again."

"In what way?"

"Blaine and I were walking down the hall, and he shoved me into a locker. Then he started insulting Blaine and I. He called me a fag and claimed I was provoking him with my outfit."

"Is this true?" Figgins looks at Blaine.

"Yes sir. I saw the entire thing."

Figgins sighs and sits back in his chair. "And were you provoking him, Mr. Hummel?"

"I – what – no, why would I? I don't want him near me!"

"So you're saying you came to school wearing a skirt –"

"It's called a kilt –"

"- without the intention of being noticed?"

Kurt stares at him. Blaine doesn't know what to do. He feels like he should defend Kurt, but he has no idea what he can say that won't get them both in trouble. "I… well, of course I want people to notice me," Kurt says, sounding confused. "But I didn't put together this outfit with the intention of getting beaten up."

"All I'm saying is that maybe you should think about the effect your clothes have on other students." Figgins shrugs. "That is why we have a dress code."

"But it's not against the dress code," Kurt says, a little smugly. Like they ever enforce the dress code, anyway. "I checked. In addition, technically I'm not cross-dressing, either. I'm not going to censor myself just because… ugh. Look, that's not the point I'm trying to make. The point is, I have a witness who saw Karofsky assault me. That's all the evidence you need, right?"

Figgins sighs, rubbing his eyes. "You have to understand where I'm coming from, Mr. Hummel. You say you're not provoking him, yet you wear these clothes that you know for a fact will get Mr. Karofsky's attention. You choose to transfer back knowing that you will be harassed by Mr. Karofsky again if you do."

"You're…. you're blaming this on me?" Kurt stares at him.

"Mr. Figgins, this is hardly fair," Blaine protests.

"You think I like this? Being assaulted and abused every single day of my life?" Kurt's voice gets higher with every word. "And then you tell me to censor myself because I'm somehow trying to egg him on?"

"You knew that this would happen when you chose to transfer back. I'm sorry, but my hands are tied."

"I can't believe this." Kurt looks at him in disgust. His grip on Blaine's hand is so tight it feels like his fingers might snap. Even if Kurt had expected failure, he obviously hadn't expected this. "I'm not doing anything wrong; you're just too blind to see what's happening here."

"I will not be spoken to this way."

"Why? Afraid you'll realize you're wrong?"

"Detention, Mr. Hummel."

Kurt stares at him for a long moment, and then stands up, ready to storm out, but he glances at Blaine first. "Wait for me outside," Blaine says softly, and he knows that he's insane but he doesn't regret what he's about to do. Kurt looks a little confused, but he nods, brushing his fingers against Blaine's shoulder before he turns and walks out, slamming the door behind him. Blaine takes a deep breath and turns back to the principal, who simply watches him, waiting.

"You could be doing something about this." Blaine says quietly. "Kurt has been bullied literally every single day of his life. He gets shoved into lockers and thrown into dumpsters and no one cares. Sometimes not even his best friends." He clenches his hands into fists. "Yeah, he knew what would happen when he came back here. And so did I. I followed him because I thought I could protect him, because I couldn't stand the thought of him getting hurt and not being there to do something about it. I know I can't always do that, but you know who can? You. But you don't. Why? It doesn't even matter that he's gay,he's still your student, and it's your job to make sure that school is a safe environment for your students. And you just don't." He feels his voice rising with every word, knows that he's rapidly losing control of his temper, and he doesn't care. "It's sickening. It's pathetic. You're pathetic."

Figgins just looks at him for a minute. "Are you done?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Detention."

Blaine stands up and leaves without another word.

Kurt is waiting for him outside like he said he would be, looking at Blaine with wide eyes. Blaine doesn't know what he might have heard or what he thinks if he did hear anything. He grabs Blaine's hand anyway – only then does Blaine realize that he's shaking. He hasn't felt this powerless in a long time.

"Are you okay?" Blaine murmurs.

"I'm always okay." The way he hides his face against Blaine's shoulder even though the angle is awkward says otherwise, and it makes Blaine's chest ache. "Hang out at my house tonight?" Kurt asks. "I called Dad and asked. I just… don't feel like being alone."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course."

Kurt nods, and then without warning throws his arms around Blaine's neck in a crushing hug. "Thank you," he whispers. Blaine isn't sure what he's thanking him for, but he doesn't ask. He just holds his boyfriend close, because right now that's all he can do.

--

Kurt is curled up next to Blaine on the couch, watching a movie with Finn (Die Hard, he thinks it is, though he's blanked out every scene not involving Alan Rickman), when the phone rings.

Finn picks it up first. "'Sup, bro?" He answers cheerfully, and then frowns. "Really? Uh, yeah, okay." He hands the phone to Kurt. "Puck wants to talk to you."

Kurt and Blaine exchange a look. Puck has never called him before, and he can't imagine why he would start now. He takes the phone, looks at it skeptically, and holds it up to his ear. "Noah. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Nuh-uh, none of that 'Noah ' crap. You can call me Puck."

"…should I be honored?"

"Or Puckzilla. Or Puckasaurus. I'm partial to Puckasaurus."

"I'd really rather not."

"Okay, cool, whatever. Just wondering why you didn't tell us about your run in with Karofsky and Azimio today."

Kurt blinks. "I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that that was any of your business. How do you even know about that?"

"Azimio kept bragging about it. Douchebag should know not to mess with my boy. Anyway, how are we supposed to form a perimeter around you if we don't know you're getting beaten up?"

"Look, it wasn't a big deal, and I'd really rather just forget about it." Kurt groans, rubbing his eyes.

"Okay, just one of the guys know so we can kick his ass next time, okay?"

Kurt knows that he won't do this, but he doesn't say so. "Whatever."

"So, you should wear that weird skirt thing again tomorrow."

"It's a kilt, Noah. And no, I will not wear it again, seeing as it's the very thing that got me in trouble today and apparently Figgins doesn't approve." He rolls his eyes. He doesn't mention that obviously he can't wear it tomorrow because that would be repeating outfits two days in a row and he just can't let himself go that much.

"Come on, bro," Puck pleads. "Just this once?"

"Why?"

"You'll find out. Just say you'll wear it."

"Fine, I'll fulfill your bizarre fantasy this once." He doesn't have the energy to fight it, no matter how annoyed he is. "Is that all?"

"Yeah, man. Thanks. Lemme talk to Finn."

Kurt hands the phone to Finn without a word.

--

It takes a long time for Kurt to leave his car that morning.

"I don't even know why I'm scared," he says with a sigh, unconsciously leaning into Blaine's touch. Blaine is currently standing between Kurt's legs, his hands resting on Kurt's hips as he tries to coax him out of the car. "It's not like this different from any other day."

"You don't have to do what Puck says," Blaine says gently. "You don't have to wear the skirt. I mean kilt."

Kurt forces a smile. "I feel obligated to, if only to find out what Noah has planned. Anyway, it's not really about the kilt. It's just, I kind of expected things to be different after I transferred back. Like maybe everyone else would get a clue. But it's exactly the same as it was."

"Maybe we could ditch the day. Go parking instead." Blaine wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, which coaxes a laugh out of Kurt.

"I wish."

Blaine sighs, letting his hands drift from Kurt's waist to rest on his thighs. The warm weight of his hands, his thumbs stroking over the fabric underneath, is more comforting than Kurt ever thought it could be. "Just tell me what I can do. You know I'd do anything for you." He looks straight into Kurt's eyes as he says it, and Kurt feels his throat tighten. Because he knows that it's true, that Blaine means it from the bottom of his heart.

"I know," Kurt whispers, and he wraps his arms around Blaine's neck and pulls him close, hiding his face in the crook of his neck and breathing deeply. Blaine's hands spread out across his back, warm and firm and so there. He's always been there whenever Kurt needs him, from the very beginning."Just having you here with me is so much more than I could hope for."

"I won't let anything happen to you."

Kurt has to smile. That's a promise they both know he can't keep. But it's nice to hear, anyway. "I love you," he breathes, clinging to him tightly. "I know I don't tell you that often enough, but it's true."

Blaine kisses the top of his head and pulls away reluctantly. "Come on. We'll get through this together."

Though Kurt doesn't ask him to, Blaine walks him to every class and somehow manages to meet him at the end of each one, holding his hand the entire time. Kurt gets even more strange looks than yesterday, from just about everyone, and when he meets their eyes, they scoff and look away. Almost every teacher asks him why he's wearing his 'skirt' again, even though they expressed their disapproval of it the day before. He ignores every one of them.

After 4th period, Karofsky appears, along with Azimio, and moves to shove Kurt and Blaine up against the lockers, but without warning, a hand shoots out to grab his wrist, effectively stopping him.

At first, Kurt assumes that it's Blaine, but no, Blaine looks just as surprised, and anyway this newcomer's hand is bigger than Blaine's his arm more muscled.

"Oh, sweet hell," Kurt says as it finally sinks in whose arm this is. Kurt's jaw drops at the sight of Noah Puckerman wearing a skirt.

Not even a kilt, but a long, hideous floral-print pink skirt that looks like it came out of his mother's closer.

"What the fuck, man?" Karofsky snaps, trying to jerk away, but Puck's grip just tightens.

"I could be wrong, but it kinda looked like you were about to lay a hand on my boy Kurt," Puck says conversationally.

"Noah, what are you doing?" Kurt hisses, so focused on that monstrosity of a skirt that he almost misses it when Finn and Mike appear behind Puck, both wearing equally horrid skirts – Mike's is bright green and frilly, and Finn's, though worn over jeans, is disturbingly short. And really, like they couldn't at least find a nice top to go with it… no, slightly more important issues at hand.

"Showing them what happens when they mess with my friends."

"So has he finally turned you all into fags, too?" Azimio asks, taking a step toward Kurt. Blaine steps between them, but not before Finn steps forward and lightly shoves the larger boy back. They aren't being violent by any means, which is honestly surprising considering that Puck is leading them. Maybe he's changed more than Kurt originally thought. "You bring your little boyfriend here and now you pull all this? You're just rubbing it in our faces now. The hell is up with the skirts?"

"Who cares?" Finn shrugs. "Straight guys wear kilts all the time. I looked it up online."

"Finn, that's a skirt," Kurt can't help but add. "Not a kilt." No one listens.

"They're clothes, dude," Puck says flatly. "You're beating this kid up because of his clothes."

Karofsky and Azimio glance at each other, looking baffled, like they'd never considered this tiny fact before. Of course, there are deeper reasons behind Karofsky's abuse, but Puck doesn't need to know that.

"So here's what's gonna happen," Puck says. "You're gonna stay away from my boys. Both of them. You're not going to give him shit for what he wears. I'd prefer it if you didn't even look at him."

"Screw you."

"Yeah, bet you'd like that, wouldn't you Karofsky?"

Blaine sucks in his breath and grips Kurt's hand so tightly it hurts. And that's when Kurt starts panicking.

"Puck, stop talking!" He yelps, because oh god Karofsky will think I told him and he's going to take it out on me or Blaine oh god oh god oh god… "Shut up right now!"

To his surprise Puck listens, letting go of the bully's wrist and stepping back. Karofsky stays very still for a moment, looking back and forth between Kurt and Puck. Kurt tries to meet his eyes, shaking his head slightly and trying to silently say I swear I didn't tell, I wouldn't do that, not even to you.

"Fine." Karofsky says shortly, his voice strangely subdued. He shoots everyone another glare, and then turns around and stalks away, with Azimio following close behind him, looking utterly baffled.

"This isn't over!" He yells back over his shoulder. Puck offers him a wide grin and an obscene gesture. Once they're out of sight, Puck turns to Kurt and Blaine, looking rather pleased with himself.

Kurt isn't sure what just happened, he only knows that his hands won't stop shaking. Blaine, still speechless, had slowly inched closer to Kurt during the whole encounter, and he has never been more glad to let someone invade his personal space. He leans into Blaine's embrace, trying to stop shivering.

"What were you thinking?" Kurt hisses. "You're insane. All of you. You're freaking insane."

"But it worked, right? I mean, they stopped. They're leaving you alone."

"For now. Until they come after me more pissed off than ever."

Puck shrugs. "So we'll be there to stop 'em."

"But you can't always do that." Kurt's voice gets higher with every word, and he doesn't even know why he's freaking out so much. "You can't protect me every second and you shouldn't have to! And for the love of god what are you wearing?"

"Well, we were gonna get some of the other dudes to help out, but they weren't really cool with raiding their mom's closets." Finn shrugs.

"Not the point, Finn."

"Hey, we just wanted to help," Mike insists. "And we heard you were getting picked on for the whole skirt thing, which is really stupid. I mean, who cares? So we thought we should show them that you can be awesome and badass, like the five of us, and still wear a skirt."

"I am wearing a kilt," Kurt says, pausing only to contemplate that Mike just sort of called him 'awesome' and 'badass', which is pretty nice. "And the monstrosities that you're wearing are definitely not kilts."

The other boys stare at him blankly. "There's a difference?" Puck sounds genuinely surprised. Kurt startles himself and the rest of them with his laughter.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "No, not really." On impulse, he steps forward and hugs all three of his defenders. They seem surprised but return the hugs, though Puck's is gruff and one-armed, and he can't really do more than wrap his arms awkwardly around Finn's waist. "Despite how bizarre your methods were, it may have helped. So… thank you." He steps back, taking Blaine's hand again.

"You gonna actually start telling us when those assholes are picking on you?" Puck demands.

"I…" Kurt glances over at Blaine, who just gives him stern look. He wants to believe that he and Blaine can take care of each other just fine on their own, but… well, maybe it's not wrong to ask for help now and then. "We'll see?"

"Good enough." The bell rings, and together they all start walking toward the choir room, ignoring the stares from passersby. Puck glances down to admire the skirt swirling around his own legs. "Y'know, I don't get what the big deal is. This is pretty comfortable. How long do you think we have until they stick us in detention?"

Blaine laughs aloud, but Kurt just shakes his head.

Blaine doesn't know what to say to any of the guys, or what to do – he's the only one not wearing a kilt or skirt, after all – but when he looks at Kurt, he can't help but smile. And yeah, he's still shaking a little, still full of adrenaline, not scared for himself but scared for Kurt. But he won't run anymore – he came here to prove he didn't have to. As soon as he can he's going to talk to Mr. Shuester, and maybe (if he can manage to get a word in without her insulting his hair) Coach Sylvester, and Kurt's father if he has to (even though Kurt will kill him for it) and they're going to put a stop to all of this. It might take a while, but he won't give up. He can't keep Kurt safe physically, not as well as the rest of the guys, but he sure as hell will do what he can.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asks softly, stroking Blaine's hand with his thumb as they walk side by side.

"Yeah. Just thinking."

"That's dangerous."

Blaine grins, tugging Kurt closer and wrapping an arm around his waist. "It's going to get better, you know," he says, and he doesn't mean that in an abstract, far-in-the-future way. He's going to do his best to make it better now.

"Yeah," Kurt replies quietly, and Blaine can't tell if he believes him or not, but he smiles, and that's enough for now.

Comments

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I loved Kurts line when he admits that there isn't really a difference between a skirt and a kilt. I love when Puck is protective of Kurt and even goes to extreme lengths to do it. Great story.