And there'll be no sunlight if I lose you baby.

And there'll be no clear skies if I lose you baby.

Just like the clouds my eyes will do the same.

If you walk away Everyday it will rain. - Bruno Mars

~

Five weeks. It had been five weeks since Blaine left and and broken Kurt's heart. Five weeks of being unable to move, to get up, to do anything but be bitter and feel all the hurt and the pain. Five weeks of unforgiveness. Five weeks of not even being able to cry because he was so angry that it overrode the tears he felt he should be shedding. Five weeks of ignoring Blaine's pleas for another chance. Five weeks of wondering if he should give Blaine another chance. Five weeks to pray to a god he didn't even believe in for everything to go back to the way it was before. Before Blaine cheated. Before things fell apart. Before Vogue, ignored phone calls, and unaccepted NYADA letters. Before conflicts, and competition and hurt feelings. He wished he could go back and start over. Oh how he would do things over again. It would be different. He would do everything different to make sure Blaine felt loved and cherished and wanted, that he would never feel alone, and he would never feel the need to seek solace in someone else.

Five weeks of cursing Blaine. Of blaming him. Five weeks of hating not only what Blaine did, but hating that fact that Kurt felt like this was something he could have somehow prevented. Like it was somehow his fault. He knew it wasn't. It was Blaine's stupid decision that brought them to this point. Blaine not thinking that had crumbled Kurt's heart. The fault landed solely on Blaine. Kurt knew that and yet...he still sat there for five weeks thinking of everything he'd ever done to hurt Blaine that would cause him to do something so horrible as to run to someone elses arms to seek solace.

Five weeks of being angry at himself, because as angry as he was at Blaine for hurting him like this, he still remembered the good things. He still loved Blaine. He always would. Five weeks of wallowing in misery because he didn't see how anything would ever be worth it again. Not when Blaine wasn't there to share it with him.

Five weeks after the confession, he was back in Lima. Everyone had gone down to see the Glee club's production of Grease, and as much as he wanted to stayed holed up in his apartment in New York, as much as he wanted to stay and never see Blaine again, he wouldn't allow himself. If he stayed in New York, if he didn't come, Blaine would know it was because of him. Kurt didn't want that; he had to save face. He had to make Blaine believe that he was fine. That he was over it. That he had moved on and let go. Maybe it was selfish and mean of him to think that way...but then Blaine had broken his heart. It seemed only fair to get Blaine where it really hurt by showing him that the world had not ended for him, just because of the betrayal. Even if in reality it felt like it had.

So Kurt went to Lima, he went to the play and he faced Blaine for the first time since that fateful conversation in the park, smile plastered on his face. Or at least that had been the plan. He should have known that the second he laid eyes on Blaine his resolve would crumble and resemble the pieces of his broken heart.

It didn't take much. A glance, a brief moment when their eyes locked, Blaine on stage and Kurt in the audience. It didn't even last a second, but Kurt saw the heartbreak and the self loathing in that one glance. Blaine hated himself; even more than Kurt hated him and that was saying a lot. Because Kurt did hate Blaine. He hated him for what he had done, For not trying harder, for not resisting temptation. He hated him for giving up too soon. And he hated that in spite of it all he still loved him, still ached to hold him in his arms. Still wanted to give Blaine his forever even if everything they had built their relationship on was gone. For the first time since Blaine had told him what he did, he felt tears prick behind his eyes. After that first night, Kurt didn't shed any tears. He wanted to, but the anger stopped them from coming. His eyes had been dry for five weeks despite the broken heart, and for the first time he felt them threatening to fall. He spent the rest of the play fighting back tears, wishing for a different ending for them, watching Blaine get more and more distracted, wishing for the same things.

When the play ended and final calls were coming to an end, Kurt finally lost control, tears spilling down his cheeks as he pushed his way out of the auditorium, unable to face the tears that were falling down Blaine's own cheeks.

Once safely out of the auditorium Kurt ran down the hall tears blinding him. He didn't even realize where his feet had taken him til he was in the choir room, door slamming behind him. He had gone there on autopilot. Maybe he subconsciously thought that it would be easier being in there, the room where no matter what crap was going on in his life, things always felt a little bit easier, a little bit safer because it was where he belonged. If that was the case, His subconscious was lying to him then, because it wasn't easier. If anything it was harder because all he saw was every moment he and Blaine shared together in this room. The good and the bad. And it made it hurt all that much worse. He ran his hand over the piano once, before collapsing to the ground, crying for everything that was and the broken dreams and wishes that he had for him and Blaine. He cried for himself, and he cried for Blaine. And then he just cried because he couldn't stop once he started. He clutched to the piano and his aching heart and let five weeks of pent up tears flow as he lost all track of time, not caring about anything other than his breaking heart.

The door opened slowly, tentatively while Kurt still sat sobbing in a heap. He figured that Rachel had been looking for him and had finally found him. He expected for Rachel to gasp and run to him and hold him and comfort him and tell him it was going to be alright while he sobbed in her arms. Instead of Rachel though he heard a deep, wrecked voice call out to him.

"Kurt?"

Kurt looked up to see Blaine standing there, tears streaming down his cheeks, a pleading look evident on his face. Pleading for forgiveness, a second chance, to be heard out at the very least. Kurt didn't really know or cared. The only thing that registered in his mind was that Blaine was there and with his heart breaking so completely he knew that the only thing that could ever stop the incredible pain that had enveloped him was Blaine, despite him being the one that caused it in the first place.

"Blaine..." His voice broke over the word as he sniffed, pushing the tears from his eyes.

"Baby, I'm so sorry!" His voice was broken, shaky, and barely a whisper. Kurt broke into a fresh wave of tears at that and in a matter of seconds hBlaine had crossed the room pulling Kurt up off the floor and lifting him up, Blaine's hand's under his thighs, supporting him as Kurt's legs automatically wrapped themselves around Blaine's waist, his arms flung around his's neck as their lips met in a frenzy.

They kissed hard and long and deep. They kissed till they had lost track of the time.They kissed til their tears mingled so that they could no longer tell whose was whose. They kissed till they couldn't breath anymore. They kissed til Blaine's arms started to shake with exhaustion and could no longer hold the wait of Kurt's body. And still they kissed more, breaking only to get some much needed oxygen, to turn and shift so that Kurt's weight was resting against the piano allowing their hands to roam, touching anything and everything they could get their hands on.

They kissed til it was no longer enough, letting their lips roam while they ripped off their shirts, uncareful and in a frenzy to feel each other, to feel the heat of their skin pressed together; Everything was still there, the pain the hurt, the broken trust, but Kurt couldn't find it in himself to care. Not when Blaine was there pressed against him touching him and clinging to him as if his life depended on it, as if he let go or stopped that it would all just disappear. As if he needed him more than he needed air. Because Kurt understood. It felt like his own life depended on this. He was afraid that if he stopped to think it he'd no longer be able to continue. If he thought, he'd be rational and make them step back and then his heart would never repair. Right now though, he felt whole. The problems were still there but they didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the feel of Blaine's skin and mouth against him.

So they continued their tirade on each others mouths, lips only parting to explore the columns of their neck, shoulders, chest, anything they could reach, tongues lapping at skin, tasting, sucking, biting. Their hands groped each others bodies desperately, touching what ever they could, re-familiarizing themselves with the other, almost as if they were determined to find every little change that had taken place on the bodies that they had long ago memorized.

Blaine's hands moved to Kurt's back pressing their bare chests together, trying to get as close as possible. Kurt plunged his hands into Blaine's gel slicked hair, not caring that the was probably hurting him. He grabbed and pulled and tugged til the hold of the gel gave out and the curls started to loosen. He reveled in the feel of Blaine's fingers digging and clawing and scratching at his back every time he pulled a little too tight. It wasn't slow. It wasn't sweet, and it wasn't gentle. It bracing, and hard and desperate and exactly what they both needed.

He moved a hand to the small of Blaine's back, reveling in the feel of his skin beneath his fingers before pressing in hard, and bringing Blaine close enough so that he could feel his growing erection. Blaine whimpered.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt" Blaine rasped against Kurt's mouth pulling away slightly. Blaine just growled in response and returned to kissing him as if he was a starving man that had been deprived of food. Unwilling to let his mind think about what Blaine was sorry for. That someone else had been here, had touched and tasted and explored what had previously only been known to Kurt. He wouldn't think on that. He couldn't.

Blaine's hands dropped down to Kurt's ass and gave a tight squeeze. Kurt moaned in appreciation and tightened the hold his legs had around Blaine's waist, pulling him closer, leaning back til he was lying on the piano, Blaine following him, lifting him self up so he was lying on top of Kurt, pressing all of his weight against him. The Feel of the hard, cold piano against his back in contrast to the soft, hot heat of Blaine's skin sent a shiver through Kurt. He dragged his nails down Blaine's back causing him to shake and gasp in response.

Blaine pulled away slightly then, eyes dark and heavy with lust, his breath heaving and body shaking with adrenaline and desire. He silently pleaded with Kurt, searching, making sure this was what Kurt wanted. Kurt nodded, almost imperatively and then Blaine's mouth was back on his, searing and desperate as they rocked their bodies together, grinding their hips, backs arching, fingers clenching against skin. Blaine broke away and trailed a line of kisses down his jaw, giving them the air that they both desperately needed.

"Blaine...Ah..." Kurt breathed as Blaine's mouth trailed down his neck, finding that spot on his collarbone and sucking hard enough that he would leave a mark. Blaine's hands moved to grip Kurt's waist, fingers digging in so that Kurt was sure that he would have bruises the next day. Blaine shifted, and Kurt threw his head back and gasped as Blaine ground his erection with Kurt's and squeezed his legs tighter around Blaine's hips. He plunged a hand into Blaine's tight pants, past his boxer briefs and squeezed while also tugging on Blaine's hair, eliciting a broken moan from Blaine. His fingers tightened around Blaine's curls and tugged hard pulling Blaine's head back to look him squarely in the eyes. Blaine had a hazy look about him, and his eyes were dark with lust and wanting.

"Please," Kurt pleaded. Pleaded for what he didn't quite know. For more touch, more skin, more grinding, more of everything, certainly, but also pleading for Blaine to help him forget, For Blaine to erase the past, for them to somehow rebuild everything that had been broken. He lifted his head up, arching off the piano and pressed his mouth to Blaine's. Obligingly, Blaine gripped Kurt tighter, pulled him up so that they were sitting on the piano top, Blaine in Kurt's lap.

Kurt hummed in agreement as his hands moved to make quick work of Blaine's belt while, above him, Blaine did the same to Kurt's. They finally broke their frantic kissing so that they could concentrate on the important matter of removing said belts, and soon they had disposed of the rest of their clothing one fell swoop. They both took a few seconds to appreciate the bodies that they had been deprived of for so long, too long, before pressing themselves together and searching out each others mouths once again, groaning at the contact of their groins.

There was nothing slow or searching about the way they made love. There was no long gazes into each others eyes as they slowly rocked together. There was no savoring. There was no loving caresses or murmurs of sweet nothings. For now, it was all heat and wanting, hard and fast, gripping hands, digging nails and hard thrusts, and ever entwining tongues, them panting into each others mouths as they were starved for the others touch. It was all desperation, too dry, the friction hurting a little but still deliciously satisfying, and filled with plenty of passion and need as they climaxed together each calling the others name into their mouths, never breaking the kiss. It was over all too quickly, but neither seemed bothered by it.

They continued to rock together as they rode out their orgasms till eventually Blaine collapsed on top of Kurt letting him take all of his weight. They laid there awhile, spread out on the cold piano top, their naked bodies entwined, sticky with sweat and cum. Their breathing eventually evened out and the room slid slowly back into focus.

It would have been like any other time they had been together, all heat and lust and want all wrapped around the undeniable fact that they loved each other, except that when Blaine finally pulled back, removing his weight off of Kurt and leaving him cold and feeling empty, Blaine was silently pleading, his lips were trembling, his cheeks stained with tear tracks, and his eyes puffy and red rimmed. Kurt knew that Blaine understood that nothing had changed. Their want and desire didn't erase the pain and the hurt and betrayal. They would still have to talk. They would still need to face their problems. And it wasn't going to be easy. But as Kurt slid off the cold surface of the piano and slowly got cleaned up as best as he could before getting dressed, he knew that he couldn't walk away. He had already forgiven Blaine, he realized. Forgiving wasn't the problem or the issue really. Trusting Blaine again, rebuilding the things that had broken that was what needed to be worked on. And he would. Because as much as it hurt, as hard as it would be, it would be even harder to stay away from Blaine. And it would be worth it. It would be so worth it.

Finally dressed, Kurt looked at Blaine, so small and broken, desperate and sorry. He held out his hand in invitation, letting Blaine know that it was okay, they would be okay as long as they worked on it together. Blaine's eyes filled with tears again, relief sweeping across his features as he took his hand and held on to it, entwining their fingers together. They both looked down at their hands and Kurt smiled a little. This was right. And it was worth fighting for. Giving a little tug, Kurt led Blaine out of the room in search of a quiet place. They still needed to talk after all.