Kurt could remember the day he saw his moms mark. At first, his childish mind convinced him someone had drawn with marker on his mothers left shoulder. She had to sit down with him to explain that the little sketch of a car steering wheel was a symbol of her husband, Kurts dad. Although he knew it wasnt marker, he still didnt fully understand it at the time. But, he knew he wanted one of his own.

    Upon the start of grade school, Kurt would sneak out of his bed, after being tucked in, and tiptoe to the bathroom. Hed pull the neck of his shirt down, exposing his left shoulder. Freckles like constillations that slowly faded over time. But, no tiny steering wheel. It was beyond him why he didnt have one like his parents did. And he never dared tell anybody, for fear that perhaps something was wrong with him.

    It wasnt until a bright eyed boy with bushy black hair moved to Kurts neighborhood. The two boys were fast friends, growing to be inseperable. Everyday, Kurt and his friend, Blaine, would race to get their homework completed on the bus ride home. Blaine would always finish first, because he was younger than Kurt therefor having shorter and easier assignments.

    When the bus would drop them off, the two would go straight to Blaines house, because he had all of the really cool toys and the bigger backyard, in which theyd pretend to be astronauts on missions. Blaine was always the pilot on their adventures, in charge of where they went, which was usually the moon. Kurt had wanted to be the celestial cartographer, but Blaine didnt know what that was. So, Kurt was the photographer, since the words sounded similar enough to Blaine.

    But sometimes they wouldnt go to space. Sometimes just sitting and coloring in Blaines room was enough. Thats when theyd talk. One of those days, Blaine had closed his door and got very quiet. It was strange, since he was usually the garrulous one. Kurt asked him if he felt okay and he nodded, then quietly whispered that he had a secret. Pinky promising not to tell anyone, Kurt had eagerly awaited Blaines words. The younger boy had crawled over the crayons and whispered into Kurts ear. His older brother, Cooper, had gotten his soul marked. 

    Kurt was skeptical. How could Blaine know this? Had he seen it? No. Did Cooper tell him about it? No. Blaine told him it was because Cooper was sixteen and everyone gets their mark when they turn sixteen. Kurt asked him how he knew so much about wheels, then he felt wise when Blaine didnt understand his terminology. He explained that he called it a wheel, because everyone got a wheel. His mom had the car wheel and his dad had the steering wheel of a pirate ship. Blaine found it funny and Kurt didnt know why. According to Blaine, not everyone gets a wheel. The symbol is supposed to represent part of your soulmates life. Mr. Anderson had the shape of Hawiia behind his ear, while Blaines mom had the shape of Ohio behind hers. She claims that was how she knew where to find him, where he grew up. Kurt supposed that made sense, but he still hoped he got a wheel. However, he did stop checking his shoulder at night. He wouldnt have do that again for another ten years.

    A year later was hard for the Hummel family. Kurts mom had gotten sick. No one told Kurt what with, just that it was bad. She started living in the hospital and Kurt only got to see her on the weekends. It was clear Burt had a hard time with it, too, worse than Kurt. He was missing days at his tire shop and if he wasnt taking care of Kurt, he was at the hospital with his wife. He cried sometimes, Kurt would hear him at night in his room. As the year progressed into the next, the crying would only become more. More often. More intense. 

    When Mrs. Hummel passed away, his dad rarely left his room. It was as if it hurt for him to just breathe. But, Kurt didnt understand. He was hurting, too. All wanted was his father to be there for him, but he wasnt. 

    At least he still had Blaine. Blaine became Kurts strength, his fight. He was oxygen to Kurt. The two would sit out in Kurts lawn, lying on their backs, with silence between them. They didnt need to talk. Kurt just needed to remember that life still goes on. The summer sun still burns their skin. The Popsicles were still cold. Their teenage neighbor still mows his lawn shirtless. Mosquitos still bite and bees still sting. Blaine still holds Kurts hand. Except now his mom was gone and everything was different.

     Even at the funeral Kurt and Blaine ended up lying in the yard. Blaine knew when the bone crushing hugs and pitying looks had gotten to be too much for Kurt, so hed snuck him outside with two Popsicles keeping his pockets cold. The two sat side by side, crisscross applesauce, eating their Popsicles. Once theyd finished and read the silly jokes on the sticks that still made them laugh, they lay down and looked up at the stars.

    Blaine waited for the silence to become unbearable. He rolled over to face Kurt and asked if he thought his moms mark was still there. Kurt didnt hesitate. Of course; of course its still there. A soulmate isnt something you could ever shed. Blaine nodded, making sense of it. Kurt confessed to missing his mom, as tears rolled over the curves of his face to nourish the soft grass. Blaine let him cry, knowing it was what he needed. He also needed a buddy, so Blaine promised to be there for him, always, no matter what.

    And Blaine kept his promise. Kurt and Blaine engaged in some form of communication everyday, even if it was just a quick text to say hello. Whenever they had to bring their moms into school for their Mothers Day choir show, Blaine had at least tried to beat up the kids that laughed at Kurt for bringing his dad. Then, when Blaine was grounded for starting a fight at school, he still managed to sneak out and be there for Kurts birthday brunch.

    Blaine was especially careful to never miss Kurts birthday brunches. It was something his parents had been doing for him since he was very little. His dad would make eggs and bacon, while his mom served the tea and crêpes. After she had passed, Kurt and Blaine stumbled upon her recipe. Blaine had agreed to take over the job, so Kurt could sleep in on his birthday.

    However, this year was a very special birthday for Kurt. Hed been awake since three in the morning, like a little kid on Christmas. The first thing he did was tiptoe into his bathroom, pull down the neck of his shirt, exposing his left shoulder. Bruises and scars like constellations that he hoped would fade over time. But no steering wheel, no outline of Hawiia. He checked next behind his ear. Again, it was blank. He checked under his arm, where his stepbrother, Finn, told him he and Rachel found theirs. Even behind his knee, where Mr. Schuester said he didnt find his for a week. Kurt was ready to give up, maybe take a shower, then sit and read until a decent waking hour. But, as he was slipping out of his silk pajama pants, he noticed a little mark on the inside of his ankle. A crescent moon. Kurt broke out with a huge grin, starring giddily at the mark. He had a soulmate. He knew it, for sure now, that someone out in the world was born to be in love with Kurt. Their souls were bound and Kurt hadnt even met him yet. Or maybe he has and he just doesnt know it. Finn and Rachel knew each other before they were marked, maybe Kurt would be in the same boat. Giggling to himself, Kurt ran his thumb over the mark and traced it with his finger. He thought about what his soulmate might be doing today. The moon, Kurt bit his lip, maybe they were an astronomer. Or an astronaut. Yes, that would be hot.

    At nine, Kurt was all dressed and ready for his birthday brunch, when Blaine came up to his room. He came bearing tea and a small, wrapped box. Instead of making crêpes, Carole said he could go up and give Kurt company, while she finished the cooking. He sat on the end of Kurts bed, failing to conceal his glee. He wanted to see Kurts mark. Kurt shifted on his feet. Hed put on long socks to cover the mark. Even though he and Blaine shared everything, his mark was something different. This wasnt for Blaine; it was for Kurt and his soulmate. Blaine wasnt a part of it. Kurt explained that to him, but Blaine just looked at him and smiled his smug little smile.  He dredged up and excellent point, along with the feelings Kurt had been burying since puberty hit. What if it was Blaine? What if he and Blaine were soulmates? Kurt felt his self sweating under Blaines playful gaze. Did he know? Was he able to tell that Kurt has been madly in love with him for ten years? Is he aware of the affect that he has on people?

    Kurt tried to shake the feeling and broke Blaines stare. He ruffled his younger friends hair. The two of them had reached a place in their relationship in which Blaine doesnt feel the need to gel his hair around Kurt. It was like when they were little, before either of them used hair products. He told him he wanted to see Blaines first, then hed show him his. Blaine only rolled his eyes, knowing he still had another year.

    Since their brunch wasnt ready yet and Kurt was being stubborn, Blaine decided it was gift time. He produced an impeccably wrapped gift, which Kurt knew was the work of Mrs. Anderson. He felt very little remorse when he ripped through the neat paper. But, it all dissipated when he saw the bow tie with the constillations printed on it. Blaine said he knew that he was the one who really liked bow ties, but Kurt wore them sometimes and he saw it and he just thought of him. Also, that he finally knew what a celestial cartographer does. Blaine suggested that perhaps he could wear it the day he meets his soulmate. It was more fitting than Blaine knew.

    Having a mark had changed Kurt. He walked taller, he talked smarter, he looked hotter or at least he felt like he did. It was like he had his own little secret. Technically he did. He had yet to share his mark with anyone, because he wanted Blaine to be the first. But he also wanted to maintain the upper hand. If they were soulmates, he wanted to see Blaines mark and know his own to put it together, instead of the other way around.

    It was a year that Blaine had to wait, so a year he waited. Finally, then, it was his turn to be sixteen, get his mark. At 12:02AM of his birthday, he woke Kurt up with a text saying he was coming over. Kurt wasnt prepared for an impromptu visit; he looked like hed just woken up, which he had, and his parents would loose it on them and probably call Blaines parents, who would also go postal. Kurt tried to text him and call him, tell him it could wait until the morning. Midnight isnt a good time for a hangout, especially on a Thursday night. But, Blaine never responded. Kurt figured he was already on his way and his text had come too late. So, he waited and waited. Kurt considered sneaking out front to see if he was there. But, he eventually fell asleep.

    In the morning, when Kurt woke up, he checked his phone. Still nothing from Blaine. He texted him happy birthday and that hed be there to pick him up to drive him to school. After hurrying to get dressed, since he planned to surprise Blaine with the crêpes this year, he started to make his way down to the kitchen. The first oddity was that Finn was already awake and out of his room before the last second. And Carole was still home talking to Burt, who hadnt changed out of his pajamas yet. They seemed very serious and Carole looked as if shed been crying. Kurt asked Finn what was going, but his brother shrugged, just as confused. Burt called the boys downstairs. Kurt was so unsure of how to feel. His mind had gone silent, making it impossible for him to formulate any guesses as to what had caused such an odd morning. Then, standing at the bottom of the stairs, he saw Mrs. and Mr. Anderson in tears. Blaine. It was Blaine, thats why he never texted Kurt back. 

    Burt was talking to him and Finn, explaining what had happened. Blaine had snuck out last night on his bike. It was dark and Kurts neighbor, the one who always mowed the lawn shirtless, had been coming home late, drunk. He was being taken in for accidental manslaughter. Manslaughter. Blaine. He accidentally slaughtered Blaine. Kurt was going to be sick.

    Carole had found him lying in their yard when she was leaving for work. Her guess was a blunt impact from the car knocking him to the pavment, causing internal bleeding. Based on where the bike was left, he probably had just enough strength to get up and move into the grass where Carole had found him. She kept saying that maybe if someone had found him sooner. Maybe if Kurt had gone outside to see if he was there. 

    Kurt was distraught. He broke through the cluster of concerned parents and into the front yard. A police car was outside, with crime scene tape up around their lawn. Blaine was gone, but theyd left an outline of where hed been lying, just like he did with Kurt. Blaine died on his birthday, on his back and gazing at the stars without Kurt.

    The sight of it was hard to bare, so Kurt turned his back on the scene, running back to his room. He fell into his bed, burying his face in his pillow. He wanted it to be midnight again. He wanted to be annoyed that Blaine had woken him up with a text. He wanted to wake up to Burt yelling at him for sneaking Blaine into his room at night. Not this. This awful feeling of choking, suffocating. It felt like Kurt had been the one to die and this was his purgatory hell.

    Kurt started missing school and if he wasnt being visited by friends and family, he was alone with only memories of Blaine and his small little mark. He cried sometimes, only when he knew he was alone in the house. When he was alone everything became more. More unbearable. More intense. He rarely left his room. It was as if it hurt just to breathe. Because, without Blaine, there was no strength. No fight. No air. Nothing.

    Rachel and Mercedes had to drag Kurt to the funeral. So much of him wanted to go to the funeral, to see Blaine one last time. But, he was sure he wouldnt be able to handle it. Rachel and Mercedes promised him they wouldnt leave his side for the entire service. So, he found a way to get up and put on his celestial bow tie.

    However, once they were there, surrounded by all of Blaines friends and his family and their misery, he wished he could be there alone. Blaine had an open casket, which Kurt was sure he wouldve hated, and looking at him was just as if he was sleeping. Even after Kurt had passed to say his goodbyes, he loomed by Blaine and his mourners.

    Blaine didnt like to be mourned. He once told Kurt that he didnt fear death, he feared how everyone would take it. At the time, Kurt promised him that, giving he outlived Blaine, he would do his best to take it well. But, that promise has since been broken, because here Kurt was, most certainly falling apart. Once everyone else was occupied away from the body, Kurt stayed, telling his friends he needed a moment with Blaine.

    Standing over the boy he loved, Kurt knew what he needed. Itd be closure of sorts. He glanced over his shoulder to be certain he wasnt being watched. Gently, he touched Blaines ankle, sliding his pants up to expose the skin. For once, he didnt have on ankle jeans and they actually put socks on him. Kurt turned out Blaines right foot with great care and there it was. A little mark on his ankle. A star.

    Kurt bit his lip, combating the threatening tears. He knew he had to keep it together, he had to keep the promise hed made to his soulmate. He had to shove his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching out to touch Blaine again. It was tremendous effort to keep from crying or yelling, because he was so close with Blaine, yet still not close enough. He never kissed his soulmate. He never told his soulmate how much he loves him. He never even told his soulmate that theyre soulmates. He needed to, but he knew Blaine wasnt really in there.

    After the funeral, Kurt knew where he needed to be. He headed straight home, despite Rachel and Mercedess pleads for him to stay out with them. Sitting down in the grass, he remembered exactly where Blaine had been when he took his final breath. He sat down next to him in the grass, tracing his small moon. He understood, now, that it wasnt for an astronaut. It was for a little boy who loved to show his celestial photographer the moon. 

    It was always beyond Blaine that people could look at these marks and somehow know that was the person they were meant for. Hell never figure it out, but now Kurt knows and he intends to tell Blaine. 

    "They just look at these two marks and it all makes sense, somehow." He told Blaine. "Like when I look at you, at us, I know youll always be my soulmate and Ill never love anyone more." Kurt fell onto his back, exhaling then bringing more oxygen into his lungs. Because at last it was there, he had oxygen and fight and strength. Maybe it wasnt everything, but he could tell he had more than nothing. He had the world that still turns. "Oh," Kurt rolled his head to face Blaine, "I wore the bow tie you gave me. Its a little late for the day I meet my soulmate, but I suppose its something." Kurt patted the grass next to him, smiling, as life goes on.