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Even Though (Blaine's Oblivious)

Blaine realizes how important Kurt is to him after the death of Pavarotti. A short recounting of the development of Blaine and Kurt's relationship. Mild Season 2 spoilers.


K - Words: 1,620 - Last Updated: Feb 07, 2012
920 0 1 2
Categories: Songfics,
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel,
Tags: friendship,

It hadn’t come as a shock that Kurt bonded to little Pavarotti shortly after he transferred to Dalton Academy.  That was kind of the purpose, really.  Blaine congratulated himself for reinstating that “new kid takes care of the mascot – or else” policy.  It likely had started as a form of hazing in the early days of the Warblers, but the role of caretaker had mostly fallen to the Director (when there was one) or the Council as of late.  Once Kurt had confided in Blaine that yes, he would be transferring, Blaine had approached Wes and David shortly after that conversation.

“I know it seems like a lot of responsibility to hand over to someone who’s not even auditioned to be a Warbler, but in the instance that he does, and my confidence that he will, I propose that he be the first member of the Warblers to take care of Pavarotti for the first month or two that he’s here.”  Here, Blaine paused to gauge their reactions – and received nothing.  It wasn’t that the boys were insensitive (exactly), but that it was better to approach situations logically first.  “This policy was adopted to help assimilate newcomers to the school, give them a sense of pride and camaraderie…” and Blaine trailed off, losing his focus because all he kept thinking was “…and it’d be good for him.”  He felt somewhat responsible that the bullying at McKinley had escalated to the point it had.  Not that he had the specifics, but Kurt had text messaged him earlier that day saying:

Had enough of the Neanderthals.  Talked to Dad & Carole.  Will be in Dalton on Monday.

Blaine could only imagine what that meant.  Whatever it was, it had to have been big…hence why he pleaded, no, presented his case to Wes and David now.  He opened his mouth again, but David shook his head.  “This won’t be put to a vote, Blaine.  Pending a successful audition into the Warblers, Kurt will be temporarily the keeper of Pavarotti.”  Relieved, Blaine thanked them and excused himself to go to the mess hall for the remainder of lunch period.

                In the first couple of weeks, Blaine noticed subtle changes in Kurt.  After the vocally astounding but misguided solo audition of “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina,” he realized that Kurt no longer had to suffer being bullied, but in fact was still being asked to, well, hide.  Like he had pointed out to Kurt, there was a reason behind the uniforms.  The Warblers could dazzle crowds with favorite oldies hits as well as turn around and get their classmates to dance around to renditions of pop songs they’d hear on the radio in their rooms or driving off campus for meals.  But Broadway?  That was a little too sensational for them, and Blaine hated seeing Kurt being knocked down a peg.  Then again, it was quite adorable when later that day, a frantic Kurt sought Blaine’s help when Pavarotti was molting, terrified that it had been something more serious.  His plan that Kurt would become attached to something solely connected to Dalton seemed to be paying off; Kurt’s heart was the biggest that he had ever encountered and hoped that Kurt started to feel more at home at the school.  It wasn’t McKinley, but there were quite a few good aspects to being at Dalton, after all!

                Blaine himself was thrilled to be able to spend more time with Kurt; even in a school where a zero-tolerance bullying policy was enforced, it didn’t mean that everybody necessarily understood.  Of course, there were plenty of other things to chatter excitedly about (their favorite Vogue cover, for example), or even have the off argument over.  And argue they did, particularly over one rather embarrassing drunken evening that led to kissing Rachel Berry (twice) and the rather uncomfortable conversation about Kurt’s untapped sex appeal.  At any rate, between rehearsals for the Warblers, the coffee breaks they managed to sneak before and after classes, and studying together every so often, Blaine wondered how life could get any better.

During a study and brainstorming session, during which Blaine was emphatically trying to calm down the Council and the rest of the Warblers with a radical new idea for the upcoming regional competition (wearing standard Dalton jackets with red ties with blue piping), the doors suddenly burst open to reveal Kurt, clad in black and clearly upset.  He announced that Pavarotti was dead, and Blaine could see his dear friend grieving, even under a thinly veiled jealous jab at the Warbler Council’s tendency to give all solos to Blaine.  Kurt handed off a cassette tape to the nearest boy and waited.  He began to sing “Blackbird,” a song always familiar, yet not often performed.  One by one, the Warblers added harmonies and soft percussive tones, all lifting their voices in a moment of remembrance of their little mascot.  Yet this time was different.  Kurt wasn’t performing, he was simply feeling.  And out of the corner of his eye, Blaine caught sight of his friend shifting away from the door, moving in front of the Council table. 

                Blaine stopped.  He couldn’t have drawn a breath if his life depended on it.  All he could do was stare at Kurt, watch in awe, and drink in every little detail of this moment.  It wasn’t that the heavens opened or anything dramatic like that.  It was like finding where that one missing piece of puzzle goes and realizing how it fits.  He had already known Kurt was immensely important to him; the sudden closeness of their friendship had proved that.  It was finally realizing where Kurt belonged in his life.

                Oh!  THERE you are…

It was all Blaine could to do keep from rushing over to throw his arms around Kurt, nearly overcome by the sudden desire to kiss his tears away.

Following the miniature memorial, the room remained somber, most students returning to their studies in the common lounge rather than to the heated discussion of competition strategy.  Blaine slipped out in a daze, mentally forcing himself to not follow Kurt, but instead return to his own room, where he quickly closed the door.  Exhaling (how long had he been holding his breath?), he crossed the floor in one-two-three steps and plopped down onto his bed.

                Holy shit…I’ve been an idiot.  How did I miss this?

Bewildered and unable to keep still, Blaine sat up and spotted his guitar tucked behind his desk.  It was widely known amongst the Warblers that he was a competent pianist, but less known that he was teaching himself guitar.  And he refused to play in front of others until he was “competition ready.”  He went to pick it up and settled back on his bed, his back pressed against the wall.  He lightly strummed, winced, and began to tune the instrument.  Blaine mentally walked himself through his many interactions with Kurt, including some recently that had been more awkward and downright upsetting, all the while practicing chord after chord.   He smiled in spite of himself.  Music came naturally.  Practically everything else came more naturally to him than romance, although he’d be the first to admit that he wanted a boyfriend too.  And now, he realized he had all but fallen for Kurt already, without being aware of it!

                It wasn’t until that thought that he also noticed he’d been subconsciously playing something.  Blaine sat a bit more upright and began to watch his fingers more intently.   He then began to hum along, finding a melody.  So far, he liked what he heard.  But lyrics were always his weakest point, especially off the cuff.

He slowed down the pace of the song to give himself enough time to find what words might fit.  Softly, he began to sing.

Even though I was blind before, 
I've realized there is so much more. 
And it was always deep down in the core of me, 
I know it now. 

No shit.  Blaine chuckled to himself.

And even though it seems too much to take,
There's a feeling I can't seem to shake.

I feel like I'm reading the signs, ‘cause I know that I'm coming around.
 

Blaine smirked.  This is a little sappy, and I don’t really care.

I thought I wanted someone perfect as could be. 
When what I needed was the one who was perfect for me. 
Even though it used to seem so wrong, 
I've taken you for granted far too long. 
I'm falling right into the denouement. 
And now, I'm breaking ground. 
Even though I felt it from the start, 
It's only now we're beating with one heart. 
I'm sure that now it's the time 
‘Cause I know that I'm…

Blaine paused, words completely escaping him.  He closed his eyes, and suddenly the image of Kurt leaning against the dorm room doorway came to mind.  Blaine imagined Kurt with his flirty little smile then walking gently toward him, the sunlight from the window passing over his face as he approached.  That was it, then.

The sun is starting to shine. 
‘Cause I know that I'm…
I'm coming around!

Satisfied, Blaine sat the guitar aside on his bed and quickly rushed over to his desk to locate a piece of paper on which to scribble this new song.  He was elated and yet terribly self-conscious at the sheer vulnerability of actually having written it. So, Blaine decided, Kurt’s not going to hear this song, but I need to somehow make it up to him with all the crap I’ve put him through lately, make him happy…maybe admit to him that I want more than just friendship, too.

Amidst his thoughts, he did not see the figure slipping away from just outside his dorm room.  Kurt Hummel quickened his steps, his heart pounding, and bit his lower lip to keep from smiling.

 

 


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