It’s a lazy Wednesday afternoon mid-summer, and the heat is rolling in through the open window.  Blaine is pinned on his boyfriend’s bed, between Kurt’s legs, and with the luxury of an otherwise empty house, they are taking their time.  They’ve been kissing for what feels like hours and Blaine’s sure that if he took the time to look, he’d find that Kurt’s lips are red and swollen. They’re not actually in a rush to do anything.  In fact, they’ve barely progressed beyond kissing, but that’s part of what this summer is about: those seemingly endless and empty weeks with plenty of time to explore and learn each other.    

He’d already lost his shirt, but Blaine just feels impatient now, can barely think of anything but his frantic need for skin-on-skin, and reaches up to try and get Kurt’s vest off. 

“Why do you have to wear so many layers?” he pants as he pulls away to try and focus on the task at hand.  It’s very hard to focus, however, when Kurt has started sucking a path down his neck from his ear.  In fact, it’s so hard to focus that Blaine just cannot get his left hand to do what he wants at all.  He growls in frustration.

“Fucking button.” He curses, and Kurt blinks at him, because he’s never heard Blaine swear before, and the word doesn’t sit well with him.  Blaine, meanwhile, continues his attempt to undo the buttons, still very unsuccessfully.   His left hand is shaking and he can’t seem to get a hold of them at all.

“I can’t - the button - my hand - oh god-“ he whimpers, and Kurt can see that tears are forming in his eyes.

“Blaine?” He calls quietly.  Blaine doesn’t seem to hear him, is too busy trying desperately to open the first button still.  “Blaine, honey,” he tries again, but still no response.  The tears are threatening to spill over now, and it’s not just Blaine’s hand that is shaking either.  His entire body is trembling and he is practically tearing at the button.  Kurt, sensing something is terribly wrong, grabs Blaine’s hands with his own and rolls them over so that Blaine is leaning against his side. 

Blaine is now clearly struggling to breathe, and Kurt thinks he might be having a panic attack.  The tears that Kurt watched build have started to fall, and he is gasping and spluttering.  Kurt is completely caught off-guard by Blaine’s sudden change in mood, and he’s not really sure what to do except that he needs to calm him down.

He pulls him in closer, and remembering that Blaine had told him he’d always found Kurt’s voice soothing, begins to sing.  The effect is nearly immediate; Blaine goes slack in his arms, and his breathing evens out a little.  He continues to sing and rubs soothing patterns into his skin.  Eventually, Blaine seems to calm down completely, because he joins in singing with Kurt, and Kurt can’t help but laugh because on his list of things to do this summer, he hadn’t put down singing Nursery Rhymes with Blaine.  When they’ve finished their rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Kurt leans down and pressed a kiss against the mass of curls tucked under his chin.

“Want to tell me what that was about?” He asks quietly, and Blaine stiffens again. He exhales shakily, and nods into Kurt’s chest.

“Take your time.” Kurt tells him as he rubs a hand soothingly along Blaine’s back, and then realises he’s still shirtless, “Did you want to put your shirt back on first?”  Blaine nods again, and reluctantly untangles himself from Kurt.   He quickly pulls the shirt back on, and then drops his hands limply to his side when he realises he can’t do it back up.  Kurt quickly stands up and does it for him, kissing his collar bone lightly before it gets covered.  He smiles gently at him, and pulls him back to the bed so they’re both sitting cross-legged facing each other, still holding hands.

Blaine lets out another deep, shaky breath.  “I’m sorry-“ he begins, but Kurt’s scowl is enough to cut his apology short.  “I’m not... I don’t know how to-“ he pauses again, worrying his own lip.

“Why don’t you start at the beginning?”  Kurt suggests lightly, squeezing his hand.

“Okay.  I can do that.  Uh - do you, do you remember when you asked me to prom?”  He begins, and looks at Kurt almost as if he’s begging, please please remember, and it only takes a moment for it to click.

“The guys who beat you up?”  Kurt asks, and winces when Blaine’s eyes clench tightly shut for a moment.

“Yeah,” Blaine sighs, takes a deep breath to compose himself, and when he starts talking again, it’s like the floodgate has opened. 

“Well, you remember what they did to me, but it was a lot more than just a few kicks or punches.  They punched me in the stomach until I couldn’t stand, and then they kept kicking me, right in the same spot on my head, right here,” he touches a spot on the right side of his head above his ear. “They just wouldn’t stop, no matter how much I screamed or pleaded.  The pain was so intense, and my vision was swimming.  I started vomiting, but even that didn’t deter them.  They just kept laughing at me.  Eventually I blacked out and they must have gotten bored.  Someone found me and called an ambulance.” Blaine shudders at the memory whilst Kurt too shudders, but at the images his description is evoking. 

“When I finally woke up, I was in hospital, hooked up to all these machines, and I could hear my heart beat on that stupid computer.  I had no idea what had happened - I couldn’t remember a thing and my parents weren’t there - until a doctor came in and explained it to me.  He didn’t know what had happened to me during the attack, but as he talked to me, I started to remember.  Then he told me about the damage that had been caused.”  He has to stop for a moment to take another calming breath, and Kurt squeezes his hands gently again.

“He said - he said that there might be some damage to my brain, but that there was no way of telling if there was, and how extensive it could be.  I was so terrified, Kurt.  And my Mom and Dad were nowhere to be found, and I had no-one to comfort me.”

Kurt can see him clearly in his mind, smaller and so lonely and scared, and his heart clenches in protest.  How could his parents have left him alone at a time like that?

“I got out of hospital a couple of days after, when it was apparent that there was no serious damage.  I could talk and there was no effect on my memory, and I was only so unsure on my feet because I had three cracked ribs and a badly twisted ankle.”  Kurt hissed and Blaine shrugged.

“The only effect it seemed to have was on my left hand; I couldn’t control it properly anymore.  In the beginning, it would shake constantly and I couldn’t pick anything up with it.  My fingers kept twitching and it kept spasming randomly. The doctors told me with some time and physiotherapy, I’d probably regain full use of it.  The worst part?  I couldn’t write any more.  I used to be left-handed, you know?” He looks up at Kurt with a sad smile, and flexes the hand in question.

“Anyway, the physiotherapy didn’t work, so I took up piano as a way of exercising it, and I have to take medicine for it, but it doesn’t really bother me unless I’m feeling particularly overwhelmed or I’ve overworked it.”

Kurt nods, but he can’t understand why he’d gotten so upset.  “Why did you get so shaken, baby?”

Blaine swallows.  “I haven’t had a problem controlling my hand like that in months now.  I thought it was finally going away. I didn’t think I’d ever have to tell you, I didn’t want to tell you.  I was scared of what you’d think.” 

Kurt frowns, and pulls him in for a hug.  “Blaine, nothing you say or do will ever change how I feel about you?  Did you really think something as small as this would really bother me?”

“But I’m brain-damaged, Kurt.”  He argues.

“I don’t care.  Even if you had to be spoon fed, I’d still love you Blaine.”

Blaine doesn’t seem to have any more to say, so Kurt just holds him for a while.  After some time, Blaine pulls away, mumbling something about going to wash his face.   As he goes into the bathroom, he shoots Kurt a grateful smile.

Kurt takes the time to collect himself as well.  He tidies the sheets on the bed as he works through what Blaine has told him.  Kurt curses inwardly once more at the bastards who hurt Blaine, but he knows it’s no use.  It doesn’t change how he feels about Blaine, not really, except for feeling extremely warm at the thought of Blaine feeling comfortable enough to share something like that with Kurt.  He is busy mulling over how far they’ve come since that meeting on those stairs when Blaine re-enters the room.

Kurt grins shyly as he decides it’s time for a change of topic.  “So, I overwhelm you then?”

“All the time.”