Professor Schuester was just about to say his vows, the whole church silent, waiting for yet another pure, too-hopeful couple to make promises of love, trust, faithfulness. Mainly the ones Blaine had broken. Fortunately, he didn’t have the time to bother, because he only had eyes for Kurt.

Blaine could see his face from where he was sitting; the perfect arch of his nose, the thin line of his closed lips, the curve of his perfectly styled hair, the sharpness of his shoulder leaned right against... him.

Blaine didn’t even know the boy’s name, but he didn’t care: he hated him already. He wasn’t a fan of hate in general: it was something he’d ever only felt for his bullies, and no one else. No one should ever deserve something so harsh, so sharp and unforgiving, and he truly hoped that Kurt hadn’t ever hated him, not even in that moment, when he had admitted the truth.

And yet, Blaine hated an unnamed boy and his blond, not curly hair just because he was holding Kurt’s hand, something so simple and innocent and at the same time the worst of sins. Blaine should have been the one holding it.

He should have been the one taking Kurt at the wedding, whispering ridiculously cheesy things in his ear to make him smile and scrunch up his face. Kurt would make comments about everyone’s outfit and Blaine would laugh, trying to keep him quiet and avoid offended glares.

So yeah, he was staring. Openly staring. He couldn’t help it. It was the only thing left for him to do, staring. Watching Kurt’s life like a movie on a screen and knowing he would never be a part of it.

Suddenly, Kurt shifted on his seat on the bench and his gaze fell on Blaine, probably by accident. Kurt looked away instantly, but when he realized that Blaine had been looking at him all along, he turned around again and his face froze, his features sharp and angry. Blaine looked down at his feet, ashamed of being caught like that, but then he heard rustling and whispering and lifted his head in time to see Kurt excusing himself to the boy next to him – Blaine refused to call him boyfriend - and slowly leaving his seat, making other people move to reach the end of the bench.

Without thinking, Blaine stood up and followed him as silently as possible, completely oblivious of the people staring at him. It was probably pretty obvious who he was going after, but he couldn’t care less.

The morning sun hit his eyes as soon as he stepped out of the main door of the church, so he covered them with his right hand to look around the parking lot. Kurt was already at his car, fumbling with the keys to open it, his movements nervous and uncoordinated in a way they very rarely got.

“Kurt!” Blaine yelled, walking down the stairs. “Kurt, wait!”

Kurt turned around and glared at him for a split second before opening the door and climbing inside his car, slamming the door closed with too much force. Blaine ran until he reached Kurt’s car and climbed inside it on the passenger seat. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say, but it was clear that Kurt was irritated because of something he’d done, again, so he wouldn’t let it go that easily. He wanted to know.

Kurt didn’t even lift his head from where he had placed it on the steering wheel to look at Blaine, his eyes closed and his fists clenched at his sides. God, he was furious. Blaine braced himself for the worst when he asked: “What’s wrong?”

Kurt’s jaw clenched visibly, his lips tight. Once, Blaine would have taken Kurt’s hands in his and stroked his knuckles with his thumbs to help him relax. The sudden closeness and the small space in which they were made it all worse.

“Stop looking at me” Kurt said in a whisper, his eyes still closed. Blaine blinked.

“You- you mean right now? I just wanted-“

“I mean in the church. Stop looking at me” Kurt said, opening his blue eyes and lifting his head for the first time. He looked at Blaine like he wanted to rip his head off, but Blaine found himself unable to look away. It had been so long.

“I wasn’t looking at you” he lied, pointedly looking at Kurt while saying it.

Of course I was. You’re beautiful.

“Yes, you were!” Kurt said, his voice suddenly higher like it got when he was really angry about something. “Stop looking at me like that!”

“Like what?”

“Like- like I broke your heart or something! ‘Cause you did!”

Kurt seemed to regret saying it the moment the sentence left his mouth, the lines of his face softening a bit, but not nearly enough for Blaine to feel less awful. He stared at Kurt with a pained expression, suddenly on the verge of tears, because apparently Kurt was as far from forgiveness as he was weeks before. Maybe even farther.

“I’m sorry” Blaine said in a choked whisper. Kurt seemed to blink back tears at that, but Blaine couldn’t be sure.

“Stop saying it” he whispered back. “I know you are.”

A cold, suffocating silence fell between them, the car windows almost completely fogged and their breaths palpable in the air around them. They stared at each other, Blaine trying to find in Kurt’s eyes answers to questions he didn’t even know, to find a way to make it all better.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked eventually, baring his doubts with honesty. It came so natural with Kurt, that he hadn’t lost the habit yet. Kurt’s features hardened again.

“I want you to stop looking at me” he breathed, gesticulating with his hands between them. “I can’t focus, I can’t think, I can’t-“

“What?” Blaine found himself asking, leaning closer to Kurt without even meaning to. Kurt swallowed at the action, his gaze falling dangerously where Blaine knew there were his lips, but he didn’t move back on his seat. There was a pause.

“I can’t breathe when you look at me.”

The way he said it, so pained and broken, made something snap in Blaine. He grabbed the back of Kurt’s neck and pushed him towards him in a bruising kiss, their noses bumping against each other and their mouths forced together too soon, too hard, too fast, but Kurt didn’t pull away. He whined.

He whined in Blaine’s mouth and mirrored his actions, grabbing the back of his neck to pull him closer, closer, closer, even though they couldn’t get any closer than that, their breaths mingled in one and their tongues fighting and stroking and discovering each other all over again.

They’d never kissed like that before; always soft, always languid and caring, even during sex. They’d never kissed in such a desperate way, like they couldn’t get enough, like they needed it to breathe.

Blaine cradled Kurt’s face in his hands, his thumbs on Kurt’s cheekbones, and kissed him harder, sucking his lower lip into his mouth. When he heard a choked sob between them, he pulled away slightly, his lips just an inch from Kurt’s and the tips of their noses pressed together like they’d been so long before on the soft sheets of Blaine’s bed.

“I miss you” Kurt choked out before Blaine could ask what was wrong, and just like that, they were kissing again, Kurt taking the lead. Blaine opened up for him like he always did when Kurt needed him to, whining and groaning because yes, this, please don’t ever stop, please.

Kurt pushed him back on his seat, Blaine’s head thumping against the window and Kurt’s hand leaving a print on it when he balanced himself over Blaine, their lips never separating. Blaine shifted downwards and suddenly they were horizontal, Kurt sprawled on top of Blaine, their hips frantic and desperate to seek the friction they needed.

Blaine trailed one hand down Kurt’s spine to cup his ass and push his hips down even more, slotting their cocks right against one another, hard through their clothes. Kurt moaned and thrust downwards, one of his hands leaving Blaine’s face to travel south and lift the leg that wasn’t trapped against the seat to bring it up over his.

They were kissing and thrusting and Blaine was so hot, so desperate, so overwhelmed, that he didn’t even realize it when he whispered heatedly between them “I’ll never let you go again.”

“Never, Blaine, please” Kurt begged, his moans driving Blaine wild.

“Never, baby, never again” he said between kisses, his hips meeting Kurt’s in a well-practiced dance. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, love you, love you so much.”

That was all it took for Kurt to come shamelessly in his pants, whispering Blaine’s name in his ear like it was a precious secret, and that was all it took for Blaine to come as well.

They panted against each other’s mouths, Blaine’s arms circling Kurt’s waist and clinging to him while Kurt tucked his face in Blaine’s neck, his warm breath like fire on his overheated and sweaty skin. Their clothes were rumpled and their pants were ruined and their hair were a mess, but Blaine didn’t care.

When Kurt lifted his head from his neck to leave the sweetest of kisses on his jaw, Blaine felt like he was finally forgiven.