May 13, 2013, 2:59 p.m.
Too Late: Chapter 6: Coming Out
T - Words: 4,760 - Last Updated: May 13, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 35/35 - Created: Mar 25, 2013 - Updated: May 13, 2013 148 0 0 1 0
Fridays were Carole's favorite day of the week. It typically meant a long day of work and emergencies at the hospital, but afterwards she always had a nice evening to look forward to at the Hummel's home. This evening in particular would be eventful. Burt had called her during her lunch break and told her that Kurt had convinced his new friend to come over once again.
Carole had heard a lot about Blaine Anderson in the last week and she was already quite smitten with the very idea of him. He sounded just like what Kurt had been needing and missing from his life, and to top it all off he was also gay. Carole hoped that would help encourage Kurt to come out to his father some time soon. Everything she'd heard made her very hopeful that Kurt and Burt would soon be back on track and that their relationship wouldn't be so tense and distant. She only wanted what was best for both of them, even if they were both too stubborn to make it happen.
"Judy, I'm going to get going, okay?" she called, signing out on her last check sheet and ducking down to grab her purse.
Judy waved her off with a pleasant, "Have a nice night with your guys!" and then disappeared to start making her next set of rounds.
Carole quickly gathered up her coat, made sure she had her phone, then headed to the elevator, and outside to her car. The drive over to Burt's home was quiet for a Friday evening, but Carole was glad for it. She was distracted by her own excitement and the things Burt had been telling her about Kurt since she'd last seen him. Burt had said he'd changed in incredible ways, going from a sad, dejected looking boy to someone bubbling over with happiness every time Blaine was with him. It was encouraging to hear after everything Carole knew he was hiding and everything he'd been through since his mother had died eight years ago. She only hoped it all worked out as she thought it would.
The driveway was packed full when she pulled up to the curb. Finn was here, too. She wondered if he knew Blaine through school already and if he did, how they got along. Carole already knew that Kurt and Finn were cordial with each other at best, and she hoped as Kurt learned to open up about himself to all of them that that would change.
"Burt? Burt, I'm here!"
Her voice echoed throughout the main level of the house and was greeted by two shouts, one from the kitchen and the other from the living room.
"Hey, Mom!"
"In the kitchen, Carole!"
She shrugged her coat off and draped it over the hooks by the front door, glancing at Kurt's closed bedroom door. That wasn't unusual. She set her purse down on the little table where everyone's car keys were, and stepped into the living room where her son was watching television.
"Hi, sweetheart, how was practice?" she greeted, pecking him on the cheek as she glanced at the screen. Football, of course. Nothing new with Finn.
"Muddy," Finn informed her. "Took almost an hour for me to get it out of my ears."
Nose crinkled up in disgust, Carole leaned down and checked his ears just to make sure he really had gotten all the mud. When they passed her cleanliness test, she gave his shoulder a pat and stood up.
"How's Quinn?"
"Good, she wants me to come over tomorrow for dinner with her parents," Finn answered, eyes never leaving the television.
"That's fine," Carole told him, patting his shoulder once more and then turning to head into the kitchen. "Tell her parents hello for me."
Finn grunted in acknowledgement as Carole left him with his football game. Burt was at the stove when she entered the kitchen, baseball cap slightly crooked and sweat lining his brow. She smiled at the sight and hurried over to help. Burt startled a little as she leaned up to peck him on the cheek, but smiled brightly when he saw her.
"Hi," he greeted sweetly, setting his spoon down for a moment to kiss her properly.
"Hello," she replied, accepting his kiss and eyeing the selections of food he'd prepared so far. "I see you've been busy."
"Yeah, well, I figured we'd do this thing right for once," he offered with a small shrug, but the smile on his face told her a million other things. He was beaming, relaxed and at ease in a way she'd never seem him.
When Burt had told her about how Kurt's life had been changing, she hadn't realized how drastically it would affect Burt, too.
"Well, it looks and smells great, dear," she congratulated him. "I see Finn's doing his usual."
Burt's smile turned rueful, but he nodded. "You can take the boy outta the game... "
She smiled, too, as he trailed away. It was certainly true with Finn. Everything was football and Quinn. It made things simple in a lot of ways, but she did wish he'd branch out and focus more on his grades, too. Burt turned back to the stove, stirring and checking a few pots as Carole stretched and sat down on one of the bar stools at the counter. She'd hoped that Burt would bring Kurt and his new friend up on his own so that she could meet this mystery boy, but...
"So... "she started slowly, crossing her legs and leaning forward. "Is he here?"
"Is who here?" Burt grunted, hissing as boiling water splashed out and hit his hand.
Exasperated, Carole huffed and sat up a little straighter. Sometimes he could be really single-minded.
"You know who," she remarked pointedly, and when Burt still didn't answer she persisted, "Blaine, Burt. Blaine. The little dreamboat of a boy Kurt's smitten with and who is his first real friend."
"Oh, yeah," Burt said, sucking on his burnt finger and then shaking it vigorously. "They're downstairs. As usual. They always hole up down there."
The fact that Burt said that so easily made Carole glad and a little concerned all at once. She was grateful that Kurt finally had a good friend in his life, but Blaine was also gay. The door was closed, and there were two hormonal, teenager boys in the basement with compatible sexualities. To her that wasn't something either of them were accustom to being around. Blaine was the first openly gay boy Kurt had ever met his own age. She imagined the same could easily be said for Blaine. Burt might not think much of it because Kurt wasn't out with him yet, but to Carole it was no different than if Finn was locked up in his room with Quinn. Burt continued to worry over his finger as Carole stood up and headed towards the living room.
"Dinner's almost ready, right?" she asked as she looked in on Finn watching his game.
"Yeah, why?"
"I'll just go... get Kurt and Blaine, okay?"
"Sure, suit yourself," Burt said gruffly, turning back to the stove and adjusting the temperature. "Damn thing... "
Carole hurried past Finn without a word, and paused in front of Kurt's closed door. She'd been down to Kurt's room a few times, but only by his invitation. She didn't want to intrude, but she didn't want the two of them to start doing anything that they weren't knowledgeable about or ready for. The idea of Kurt being ready for that seemed unlikely, but she didn't know anything about Blaine other than that he was incredibly charming and Kurt was smitten with him. That didn't seem like a great combination in her mind.
Carefully, Carole opened Kurt's door and listened. It was quiet. After several seconds the silence started to worry her, but then she heard the murmur of two voices, not breathless and ragged, but slow and steady. Thank god. She listened for a few more seconds, hopelessly curious about their conversation and wanting more than anything for it be Blaine encouraging Kurt like she hoped he would. Slowly, she started down the stairs, trying not to make a lot of noise until the television in the living room faded and their voices were loud enough for her to hear.
"I – you don't know that he'll– "
"Kurt, I... it's just a feeling, but he loves you," another boy, Blaine, Carole assumed, insisted strongly. "He's your dad and he didn't care when I said I was– "
"You aren't his son," Kurt's voice snapped, sounding terrified. "It's different," he added quietly after a moment. "I'm different."
Her heart fluttered painfully at the rejection in Kurt's voice. She'd known he was uncomfortable with himself, but hearing it so bluntly was hard to listen to. She dropped down onto the step, sitting and catching a glimpse of Kurt's room below. Kurt's back was to her and the bed, where another teenage boy was sitting cross-legged and watching Kurt hug himself tightly. He was quite handsome, just as Burt had described, and the concern on his face astonished her. These two had known each other for a week and already Blaine's eyes were full of a warmth and understanding that Carole had wanted for Kurt for as long as she'd known him.
Blaine bit his lip and watched Kurt for a few moments longer before sitting up on his knees and reaching out towards him.
"Come here," he said, his voice gentle. It reminded Carole of evenings by the fire, curled up in front of the couch on a thick rug with Christopher and a large plush blanket wrapped around them. This boy cared, truly cared and all of her earlier worries vanished.
Kurt turned slightly as Blaine's hand reached out for his and he accepted the touch immediately, linking their hands together until their fingers were intertwined. Blaine pulled him over to the bed, patting the spot in front of him until Kurt settled down and crossed his legs, too. It was astonishing to watch how easily Kurt allowed Blaine to touch him and guide him. Nobody else was even remotely close to having that same trust. The fact that this boy, a friend of seven days, had accomplished such a feat was rather impressive and it told Carole that he was something unique all on his own.
"I know that you're scared, Kurt," Blaine began softly. "Believe me, I've been there. Nothing about it is easy, but your father loves you. Even I can see that and I've only talked to him for maybe an hour total. I get that you're scared – I respect that you're scared – but that's the thing of it, really. The greatest, most rewarding things in life are usually the scariest. That's how you know they're right, that they're worth the effort. There's no way around that, but I promise you no matter what, that being honest with him will make your life easier."
Easier, not better. Carole caught the difference immediately. She also could tell that Blaine, even after a brief period of time, had already grasped the strain in their relationship and that Burt most certainly wasn't going to react negatively. Kurt stared at Blaine for a long time after that. He was facing away from Carole, but she watched his hands grip Blaine's tightly between where their knee caps were brushing. It was a gentle pose; facing each other, hands clasped firmly between themselves. There was trust between them that already exceeded all of her expectations. She'd never seen Kurt so relaxed and peaceful. It was a wonderful change.
"I just– I don't want him to start treating me differently," Kurt whispered fearfully. "What if h- he can't meet me eyes anymore o- or starts trying to doing a bunch of macho stuff with me t- to try and, like, fix me or– "
"Hey, no," Blaine cut in vehemently. "There's nothing wrong with you – with us as people. Your dad won't do that. Mine, yes. Right up until the end," Blaine confessed, and Carole's brow wrinkled at his words. Was Blaine's father no longer a part of his life? Burt hadn't told her that, but perhaps he didn't know. "Trust me, your dad is pretty damn intimidating. He's a gruff kind of guy, but take it from an outsider looking in on you two – I think he just wants his little boy back. He wants you to talk to him, Kurt. Please, talk to him. He's not going to turn you out. I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life. If anything, I think he'll be thankful that you're trusting him enough to share this with him."
"I– you really think so?" Kurt muttered, voice cracking and a little deeper and gruffer than usual. He rubbed at his eyes for a moment.
"Yeah," Blaine said softly. "I really do. I wish I'd had a dad like yours. He might not entirely get it yet, but he seems willing to try, Kurt. Your his son and to him that's what's most important."
Kurt nodded weakly and retracted his hand to continue wiping at his tears. When he moved to hug himself tightly, Blaine did something that surprised Carole completely. He slid in closer and slowly pulled Kurt into a hug. It was gentle at first, and she could tell Kurt tensed slightly, but he relaxed after a moment and returned the embrace, loosely and then much tighter.
Yes, this boy was definitely everything Kurt needed right now. He was intelligent and encouraging and had been through what Kurt was struggling with right now. He cared and understood in a way nobody else ever had for Kurt and it amazed Carole to witness it.
"And you were right," Blaine murmured as he eased back and plopped back down on the bed across from Kurt. "You are different, but that's the best part about you, Kurt. You wouldn't be you without that difference, and yeah, right now the assholes at school like to get on you for it, but someday it's going to be what makes you into the incredible man I can already see."
Kurt's cheek pulled back and he half-laughed, half-cried as Blaine squeezed his hand once more. "You're too sweet for your own good, Blaine Anderson," he quipped playfully.
"Hey, I'm just calling it like I see it," Blaine replied with a grin. "And you are going to be amazing. It just takes some time to grow into your own skin."
"Thanks," Kurt said, wiping at his eyes once more and then standing up. "I'm gonna go wash my face, okay? Dinner's probably almost ready and I don't want my dad to think you made me cry– "
"Even though I sort of did?" Blaine teased, flashing a crooked smile at Kurt, who swatted at Blaine's head. He missed as Blaine ducked and toppled over backwards into the pillows.
"Yeah, well, it's the best cry I've had in a long time. I actually needed that one."
Carole watched Kurt circle around towards the stairs and then out of sight to the bathroom. Blaine's eyes followed him the entire time, his smile a little toothy and bright. She was already as smitten as Kurt with this boy for what he was doing and giving him. Judging by the sparkle in Blaine's eyes and the almost bashful tilt of his head, Kurt and her weren't the only ones smitten.
As silently as she could, Carole stood up and reached back to knock on the door before descending the stairs to pretend like she hadn't just listened to their heartfelt conversation. Blaine was looking towards her when she stepped onto the landing, a curious crinkle to his brow and a easy smile in place.
"You must be Blaine," she greeted, stepping down to shake his hand. "I'm Carole, Kurt's father's girlfriend."
"It's nice to meet you," Blaine replied, smiling a little wider as he shook her hand and sat up straighter. "Kurt speaks highly of you."
"Word at the Hummel house is that he's quite impressed with you as well," she returned with a teasing smile. Blaine looked surprised and a faint red tint colored his cheeks for a moment.
"Really? I mean, we've only known each other for a week so... "
"Burt says he never shuts up about you," Carole informed him. "Is he in the bathroom?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah," Blaine said vaguely, clearly still hooked by her other comment. "Yeah, he's just freshening up before dinner."
"It's almost ready," she told him. For a second she watched his eyes flicker towards the bathroom, looking surprised, but pleased, before he looked back towards her. "I think we're all quite glad he has a good friend now," she added before she could talk herself out of it. "He hasn't had it easy since he was little."
"I know," Blaine agreed quietly. "He... he'll be all right. He's got his dad and you."
"And you now," Carole added brightly, but Blaine's smile faltered in a way that made Carole's heart stutter a little in her chest. He didn't look very sure of that answer; if anything he looked quite sure of the opposite. "I'll see you two upstairs, okay?"
"Yeah, of course," Blaine responded, voice a little fainter as his gaze returned to the bathroom door.
Carole started to climb the stairs, but paused on the halfway landing and watched Blaine for a moment. He certainly seemed to like Kurt, as a friend and perhaps a little bit more, but he seemed... distant. Distant in a way she couldn't quite place. It was almost as if he knew he wouldn't be around for a long time, or perhaps knew he'd be leaving before long. That worried her, because it didn't make a whole lot of sense, especially with teenagers in today's world. There was still the internet and texting and a dozen other ways to keep in touch. Nothing compared to face-to-face interaction, especially when Kurt had been starving for it for so long, but it felt almost as if Blaine was already planning out how to say goodbye.
With one last glimpse, she turned back towards the door and left the basement.
Friday night went very well from Burt's view. Blaine hit it off with everyone at dinner. Carole seemed to adore him, Finn and him talked football all throughout dessert and Kurt... Kurt was the best part of the evening for Burt. He was lively, engaging, and smiled almost continuously, especially when Blaine talked to him. The look of Kurt's face then was amazing to see. Burt felt it was almost like he'd gone back and erased all of the bad things that happened to Kurt over the past sixteen years. Kurt never smiled like that. Not in his day to day life, not even in Burt's memories of his little boy. He didn't understand how the change had happened so fast, but nevertheless, he was glad for it. He'd been ready and willing to give anything for Kurt to find happiness again and he was well on his way to that from what Burt was seeing.
By Sunday, Burt was still reeling a little for the difference. He'd become so accustom to coming home and having to trek down to Kurt's room to even get a glimpse of him. Now, Kurt's door was open when he got home from the shop a little after six. Surprised, he paused at the open doorway and listened for a moment, but there was no laughter or talking that he could hear.
Instead of heading down right away to greet his son, Burt went into the kitchen, dug out a menu for a local pizza joint, and dialed the number. He hurried back over to Kurt's open door and hollered down to him.
"Hey, Kurt! Come up here and tell me want kind of pizza you want!"
"Just a minute!"
Burt turned away as the other end of the line was picked up. "Vito's Pizzeria, Sarah speaking, how can I help you?"
He ran through the usual information exchange, then ordered the pizzas he wanted, and was just getting ready to holler at Kurt again, when he came clomping up the stairs and tugged the menu from his father's hand. Kurt took one look at where he was ordering from and promptly demanded, "Meat Lover's, thin crust!"
"Yeah, and one medium– "
"Meat Lover's, thin crust?" Sarah offered with a little laugh. "Already putting it in, Mr. Hummel. Would your daughter like anything else?"
Burt grimaced a little at the assumption. "No, um, my son's all set with just that."
"Oh, your– I'm sorry, I just– "
"No, no, happens all the time," Burt said with a sigh and he watched Kurt's expression crumble a little. He didn't have to hear what the girl on the other end of the line was saying to know what sort of conversation Burt was having right now. "How long will it be?"
"Thirty to forty minutes."
"Thanks," Burt replied. He hung up then, finding it difficult to meet Kurt's gaze as he set the phone back down on its little cradle.
"They thought I was a girl again," Kurt said simply and the sullen tone was like a knife in Burt's chest.
"Bud, they don't– if they saw you then– "
"I'm used to it," Kurt said softly. He turned to head back to his room, but Burt couldn't stand that look. He couldn't stand any of this distance anymore. Blaine's friendship had already changed Kurt in a number of ways, but he still wasn't making any moves to talk to him. If Kurt wasn't going to come to him, then Burt was going to have to make sure he knew he could and should.
"Come on, let's go make a salad to go with it," Burt offered, catching Kurt by the shoulder and nodding towards the kitchen. "To make your healthy food regimen happy and all of that."
"It's for your own good– "
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Burt grumbled as Kurt open the refrigerator and started pulling vegetables out.
They worked quietly for close to ten minutes, Burt trying to find the right words to start the conversation he knew they needed to have. Kurt was in a better place now, he was happier and that should make this easier, but it didn't. If anything it made Burt even more scared. What if he screwed this talk up and Kurt shut him out even more? Then what would he do?
"So, um, that Blaine kid seems like a nice guy," Burt grunted, chopping up the pieces of celery Kurt had just handed him.
"Wh– oh, yeah," Kurt agreed awkwardly. "Blaine's really great."
"He's good for you," Burt added, trying not to wince at how stupid he thought he sounded. "It's... I've missed seeing you smile and be happy like you are with him around."
Kurt's hands slowed down under the faucet, the vegetables he was washing becoming slack in his grip at Burt's words. Still nervous, Burt chopped more furiously and used his sleeve to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He didn't know what he was doing. There were so many things he wanted to say, but so many things he wanted to wait on until Kurt took his own step forward and came out to him. Burt just wanted his son back in his life fully, and he hoped that Kurt would understand that after this.
"I'm glad you've got him, kiddo," Burt finally said as he finished cutting up the last carrot Kurt handed him. "It's good that you've got a friend like him with all that crap you get at school. And just... I know you don't wanna talk about what happens at school or whatever those dumb kids say, but I love you, Kurt. And if you, y'know, ever decide you do want to talk, know that I've always got a good pair of ears ready for you."
Silence was all Burt had honestly hoped for after he put himself out there for his son's benefit. He expected them to wash their hands, clean up the counter and sink, then separate off into their own areas of the house like always. Everything ended up going right along with that guess until he started to head back into the living room.
"D- Dad?"
Kurt's voice was timid, even shaky, as Burt spun back around to face him. He arched an eyebrow in surprise, but gave Kurt his full attention, hoping desperately that he wasn't going to be the only one reaching out to mend their relationship.
"I, um," Kurt hugged himself tightly and took a deep breath. "I haven't been– I mean, I– but... "
Tentatively, Burt took a few steps forward and met Kurt's skittish gaze as he reached up and clasped Kurt's shoulder. When Kurt didn't make any moves to pull away, Burt took a deep breath. "Take your time, kiddo. I'm here for however long and whenever you need me to be, all right?"
Kurt gave him a jerky nod and squirmed slightly as his eyes flickered all around the room, finally returning to Burt's. "I... Blaine's a really great guy, Dad. He's... he knows a lot about how to be honest and how much good it can do for someone when they are and... I want to be honest with you. About myself and who I am, because I haven't been f- for a while now."
Burt nodded solemnly, throat tight and heart pounding. This was it. Kurt was finally going to open up to him, maybe just enough to say he was gay or he might even leave it at questioning his sexuality, but it was more progress than they'd made since Kurt started high school three years ago.
"Dad, I... "Kurt trailed away, face stricken and lower lip quivering. He took a deep breath as Burt watched him square his shoulders like he was expecting a boulder to come barreling into him as soon as he admitted the truth. Perhaps those were his expectations, only the boulder would be his father. Burt couldn't even stomach the idea. "Dad... I'm gay."
Relief burst through Burt at Kurt's words. Finally. Those words were all he'd wanted Kurt to say to him for so long. It was the one step he'd wanted Kurt to take towards him and now maybe they could really start to be more open.
Kurt was trembling as Burt watched him, eyes watering and lips parted.
"I know," he said simply. "I've known for a long time, buddy. I... I'm so glad you finally told me."
"Y- you knew? But– "
"All you wanted for your third birthday was a pair of sensible heels," Burt remarked with a shrug. "Pretty sure me and your mom both knew it, or at least suspected. I– I'm still getting used to the idea, Kurt. But no matter what, you are my son. I love you no matter who you are or who you love. As long as you're happy, then I'm happy for you."
"Dad, I– " Kurt mouthed wordlessly at him and Burt was just thinking about reaching out and gripping his shoulder when Kurt launched himself into his arms and buried his face against Burt's neck.
Burt could feel hot tears on his neck as he circled his own arms tightly around Kurt's thin torso and hugged him back. It felt so good to hug his son again after years without doing so. Carole had been right after all and he made a note to thank her for pushing him to talk to Kurt. His son was finally being honest with him, or at least starting to with the one thing Kurt had obviously been dreading telling him for a long time.
"I– thanks, Dad," Kurt muttered, sniffling as he eased back out of Burt's embrace and stared up at him. "I didn't know if you'd– Blaine thought you'd be okay, but–"
"I will always love you, Kurt," Burt assured him, giving him a watery smile. "Nothing you do can ever change that."
"I love you, too," Kurt murmured, wiping at his eyes and smiling uncertainly. "I, um, I've gotta go start moisturizing."
"Okay, I'm gonna watch the game," Burt said with a short nod. "I'll call you when it gets here, okay?"
Kurt nodded shakily and hurried out of the room. His bedroom door didn't snap closed behind him as Burt slumped back against the wall in relief. He hadn't known what to expect when Kurt had first dragged Blaine home a little over a week ago. It had been strange and confusing and the most hope-filled moment Burt had had in a long time. Somehow, Blaine had convinced or at least encouraged Kurt to come out to him. Kurt had obviously been thinking about it before now, and with Burt's first move, he'd done it. Burt was still a little confused about Blaine and the boy his son had made up, but he was so grateful he'd shown up when he had.