Too Late
Zavocado
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Too Late: Chapter 10: Guardian


T - Words: 7,071 - Last Updated: May 13, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 35/35 - Created: Mar 25, 2013 - Updated: May 13, 2013
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Author's Notes: -slinks into room- So, a few days late, yeah. Almost three, actually. It's close to midnight. Sorry about that. My friends and I decided to use the days we all got off together to go to the beach for a few days. Fun was had.Anyway, the long awaited update is here. There isn't going to be one next week, though. It's the second to last week of my summer classes and I've got a lot to do with that and I'm already falling behind on writing for this story. The next update with be the 17th, so not this coming Monday but the one after it. That should get the Mondays back on track and give me time to play some catch up when keeping ahead of posting dates. I've been trying to stay 3-4 chapters ahead of what's being posted and I think I'm only two ahead now. Or it might be one and a half, I'm not sure.So enjoy the update, apologies once again for the lateness, and I will see you on the 17th!

Carole was surprised by how dejected Burt was when they met up Tuesday afternoon for their weekly date. He was distracted from the time they went to lunch until they got home shortly before five and picked a movie to watch. She didn't know what was bugging him, or why he was so quiet. Pressing him for answers never did any good either.

"Isn't this movie really sad?" Burt grunted from beside her on the couch. Carole glanced at the screen where The Notebook was playing. They were only a few minutes into her movie choice, but she honestly had no interest in watching it.

"Yes, I guess," she answered, hugging his arm tighter. "It's one of Kurt's favorites."

"Is it? It's got a really sappy romantic story, doesn't it?" Burt grumbled, adjusting his cap and sinking back into the cushions. He was clearly exhausted. Whether it was an emotional or physical exhaustion was hard to tell. With Burt it could easily be either. He'd been more tired lately, especially the past few days. Carole assumed it was from the budget cuts he'd had to make at the shop recently. They weren't in a lot of economic trouble, not yet with Burt running things, but it did make his job a little more difficult because the economy wasn't doing well.

"In a way," she agreed. Instead of asking him anything about the frown lining his face, Carole took his hand in hers and rubbed over his knuckles and up his forearm. He wouldn't talk until he was ready or until Carole had a clue about what was suddenly so wrong and knew where to press. Everything had been great since Blaine had appeared and Kurt had come out. Now all of a sudden, Burt was acting like this.

"Hmm, sounds– "

The front door creaked open. Burt jolted into a sitting position, upsetting Carole's grip on his hand and arm as he looked towards the opening to the hallway. Kurt was home. Burt's son was home and Burt looked more anxious and worried than he had all afternoon. Stomach fluttering, Carole watched the hallway, too. Kurt appeared, alone and miserable looking. He didn't even bother taking his jacket or shoes off as he wrenched open the door to his bedroom.

"Hey, Kurt," Burt greeted, voice wavering a little as Kurt froze and glanced over at them.

The look on his face was enough to make Carole gasp softly. She'd never seen him so heartbroken, and she had no explanation for why. His eyes were dull and red-rimmed as though he'd been crying. The confidence and bounce he'd started to carry himself with recently had deflated out of his limbs like they were balloons. Nothing about him was hopeful or happy. Kurt didn't even look like he knew what a smile was.

"Dad," Kurt replied softly, his voice thick. He sniffled and looked away as he hitched up his bag.

"A- any luck?" Burt asked. The concern in his voice made Carole pause. Something had happened, but it clearly hadn't been between Kurt and Burt like she'd started to suspect. That only left Blaine. There was nobody else important enough in Kurt's life to get such a reaction from him. Even his hair, usually coiffed up perfectly, was drooping. Not even bullies could bring Kurt down enough to make him stop styling his hair in the mornings.

Kurt shook his head and opened his door. "He wasn't there again," he answered weakly. "H- he– " Kurt bit his lip and stared up at the ceiling. There were tears in his eyes. "He's always been there, and now– what if I got him sent away?"

"Sent away?" Carole echoed. The phrase alarmed and confused her. Who could send Blaine away and how could Kurt have caused something like that? Not unless...

Blaine's family. His parents hadn't sounded accepting and maybe his older brother wasn't either. Since she'd met Blaine, Carole had learned that his parents had passed away and that he lived with his older brother, but she didn't know anything about him. Maybe he'd met Kurt or even caught the two of them–

"It doesn't matter," Kurt said, shaking his head. "It's all my fault."

Kurt's words only confirmed Carole's suspicions. The two boys had started dating and been caught cuddling or holding hands like they liked to do. Nothing else fit what she was hearing.

"No, it's not– "

Burt's words were greeted with the sound of Kurt's door clicking closed.

They were both silent for a few minutes as the television murmured dully in the background. Carole had no idea what was going on. She'd missed something huge and for whatever reason, Burt hadn't told her about it. That only made her more worried. It had to be serious if Burt wasn't bringing it up on his own. The very thought terrified her. There were so many possibilities when she only knew Blaine was apparently gone and Kurt was blaming himself for it.

"What happened?" she asked quietly after a few minutes.

Burt startled a bit and glanced over at her. His eyes were surprised as though he'd forgotten she was right beside him. They were scared, too, in a way Carole had never seen before. He'd been scared before Kurt had opened up to him, but this was different. HIs eyes were troubled, dark, like he was looking down a well he'd never reach the bottom of or that didn't have a bottom. It was almost as though whatever his answer was he doubted everything about it and had no ideas or hope for Blaine.

"It's... Carole, it's complicated. Really complicated," Burt sighed and slid his hat off to rub his temples. "I don't even know if I believe half of it, but the way he reacted and everything Kurt found... "

"Found?" Carole echoed in fear. She could think of several distinct possibilities for that. They were all just as bad as the next and erased her earlier suspicions about the two boys being caught being romantic. Someone was hurting Blaine, or he was hurting himself if Burt's words were anything to go by. Stomach churning, Carole clutched at Burt's hand and took a deep breath. She'd handled worse situations as a nurse, but it was different when she wasn't in the hospital and it was somebody she knew personally. Blaine had been through a lot recently; his parents had died, he'd had to struggle for however long with them over his sexuality, he'd moved to a new town with a brother that might or might not be homophobic like his parents had apparently been, and, like Kurt, he was enduring tormenting at school. It was a lot for the boy to deal with at once.

"It's... this is all going to sound completely insane, okay?" Burt began, squeezing her hand tightly as he faced her. Carole gave him a quizzical look. That didn't seem like such an insane notion to her, considering all they knew about Blaine. Burt looked tired again and rubbed at his chest like something inside of him was twinging uncomfortably. "Blaine's dead, Carole, and has been since we met him."

Of all the confessions or secrets she'd been expecting that hadn't been anywhere on her list. It hadn't even been in the same state as she was. Blaine was being abused or self-harming or any number of other violent situations had crossed her mind, but not that. What did that even mean? Surely it had to be a code from something else.

"I beg your pardon?" Carole gapped at him, completely flabbergasted. When had her boyfriend gone insane? Maybe he'd always been crazy and she hadn't noticed. Perhaps she'd accidentally ruptured her eardrum cleaning out her ears this morning and she'd miss-hear words for the rest of her life.

"I– I don't know all of the details," Burt began awkwardly. "But he's... did I ever tell you that Kurt had what I thought was an imaginary friend as a kid?"

Carole shook her head slowly, but allowed Burt to grip her hand. There was an explanation in all of this, and if nothing else she'd wait to hear him out before she told him how crazy he was. She loved him enough for that.

"He did, started right after Elizabeth died," Burt told her quietly. "I thought it was just his way of coping, but he talked about him for months and months. Going to the park, having tea parties on the front lawn, dancing and singing around and doing all sorts of things that Kurt loves. His name was Blaine."

"But he– you two think that a boy Kurt made up is the same Blaine he goes to school with?" Carole deduced. It sounded insane to her. Sure, she'd never met another Blaine before now, but it wasn't some bizarre name like Apple or Cherry Blossom or anything so bizarre or uncommon she'd never meet another.

"Kurt didn't make him up," Burt corrected, rubbing his jaw and sighing. "I mean, I thought he had, even until recently, but as soon as I met Blaine I immediately thought of the boy Kurt always described back then. Curly, dark hair, gelled to one side, triangle eyebrows, a bright smile, hazel eyes, and his name was Blaine Anderson, too, Carole."

Carole was silent as she digested that. It still didn't explain what Burt had told her about Blaine being "dead". That was ridiculous. She was a nurse and knew damn well if someone was dead or not, and Blaine was most definitely alive and well. Even thriving in his youth, but certainly not dead.

"He was so adamant that Blaine was real back then, but I finally just got sick of it and told him to stop," Burt confessed. "It was too much on top of Elizabeth's death, and now... He's just like that boy, Carole. Exactly as Kurt always described him. I've– Will Schuester recognized him, too, from his own time in school. I guess he was around then for something like he is now. I'm not sure. Kurt combed through all of these old yearbooks after that, and found a bunch of unpictured Blaine Andersons. Blaine has the same pocket watch Kurt used to tell me about, too."

"Lots of people have pocket watches, Burt– "

"It's got the same design on it," Burt insisted rather heatedly. She could hear the strain in his voice, the way it shook and cracked. He was terrified to tell her this, to possibly lose her over something that sounded so crazy, but he loved his son and believed and trusted Kurt more than anything. "I mean, I never saw it, but Kurt described it all the time as a kid, even drew pictures of it. I've seen the one Blaine carries. It's just like it, Carole, and Kurt found a date on the back of it. 1959. Blaine told him his grandfather had given it to him for his sixteenth birthday and that it was custom made for him. It was new, Carole."

"1959 isn't new," Carole agreed, frowning as she looked away from Burt. That still didn't explain such a huge leap in logic. Blaine being dead was still ridiculous. The boy was lying about something, but there was no reason to make such a bizarre claim. Maybe his parents' deaths had been part of something larger. He and his brother might be in the Witness Protection Program or something, using fake names and identities. But still... Will Schuester had said he'd recognized him. Logic couldn't explain that one away.

"Kurt looked through the 1959 and 1960 McKinley yearbooks, Carole," Burt said slowly. "He was in there. Pictured and everything. Kurt made photocopies of all of it and he went back to the library to see if he could find more and he... Carole, he found Blaine's obituary in an old newspaper. I know this is absolutely insane, okay? I know that, but... Kurt showed it to Blaine at dinner on Sunday. All of it."

"H- how did Blaine react?" Carole managed to ask. She didn't know what else to say. If Kurt and Burt had actual proof that Blaine, or somebody who looked identical to him, had been alive fifty years ago, then something fishy was going on.

"He... Carole, even then, right up until Kurt slapped that article down in front of him, I still didn't think it was true, but the look on his face when he saw it... god, it was like he was having some type of panic attack," Burt explained miserably. "That's not something you can fake. He freaked out and started demanding that Kurt put it away and he just... snapped. He... Carole, he s- said 'I'd like to see how you'd react to having your own death shoved under your damn nose'."

Shocked both by the word choice and the fact that Blaine had all but admitted to what Burt and Kurt had deduced, Carole said nothing. She wasn't sure if she trusted herself to speak. The entire story was so impossible and crazy for her to believe, but she trusted Burt and his honesty more than anything. If Burt was confiding this in her, then he wasn't lying. The facts might be wrong, or Blaine might eventually give them a better explanation, but from what Burt knew and guessed he was being honest with her.

"Kurt hasn't seen him since," Burt finished. "He tore out of here like death was biting at his ankles. Maybe it was... is. I don't know. I just know those pictures are him. The bow tie in his sophomore picture was one he just wore last week. You remember it? The one with little red and oranges leaves all over it?"

Carole nodded. "He called it his autumn bow tie. It was the cutest thing. Kurt loved it."

"Do... do you believe me?" Burt asked uncertainly. "I know it's a lot and crazy, but– "

"I do. Mostly, I mean, I'd like to hear Blaine really confirm it, but," Carole paused and squeezed his hand as she met his eyes. "I trust you, Burt, even though this sounds crazy. I find it a little hard to believe that such a lively boy is... dead."

"So do I," Burt agreed in relief, "but everything makes sense if he is and with what he said. He hasn't been at school since. Kurt... Kurt thinks he got him sent back to, like, heaven or something. Wherever he came from."

Of their entire conversation, that part was the least surprising to her. Carole worked in a hospital and most of her patients were religious and made religious requests prior to surgeries or before they passed away. Heaven was something her late-husband had believed in and that his parents were highly invested in. Christopher hadn't been overly religious after his Catholic upbringing, but his family had been. Even Carole was fond of the idea of Heaven. It was nice to think that there was something beyond the life she was already living, some place happy and gentle where she could rest and still watch over Finn and Kurt and the children she hoped they both had someday.

"Maybe he's right," Carole said. "Kurt, I mean. Blaine would make a wonderful angel. He's so kind."

Burt laughed a little and rubbed his head again. He still looked exhausted, but relieved that she was taking this so well. If she was honest, Carole still didn't entirely believe it, but there didn't seem to be anything else to it right now. There might never be anything else to it if Blaine never appeared again.

"I... I kind of like to think that if he is, that Kurt's mom sent him," Burt confessed with another weak laugh. He tried to grin, but it crumbled quickly as Carole slid her arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer.

"Maybe she did since she couldn't be here anymore," Carole agreed as she cradled his head against her chest. "Kurt's very own guardian angel. I think Blaine's done a nice job so far. I've never seen Kurt smile like he does when Blaine's around."

"Neither have I," Burt said softly. "I'm– god, Carole, I'm so scared he's gone now and he's not coming back. What if us finding out the truth got him sent back and– what's going to happen to Kurt now? What if he just lost the only real friend he's got?"

Carole took him into her arms and kissed his cheek. She said nothing as she heard him sniff and felt his hot tears dribble down her neck. Even after a year of dating and a serious relationship, she'd never seen Burt cry. Not when they had talked about their late-spouses or about Kurt's sexuality and his silence about it. But the thought of Kurt losing something that had so quickly become precious to him and had finally given them all hope was crushing for him.

If she was honest, it scared her, too. Kurt losing all hope after he'd come so far in only a few short weeks terrified her to no end.


The only relief Kurt had in the following two weeks was Blaine's reappearance at school the Thursday after their disastrous dinner. Blaine avoided him completely. Kurt wasn't sure if it was out of fear or guilt or anger, but he hated it. Even in classes, Blaine ignored him, sat away from him, and said nothing. It scared Kurt more than the truth of Blaine's existence did.

There was no doubt in Kurt's mind that Blaine's death in 1960 was real. Blaine's reaction had been all the confirmation he'd needed. Worse than Blaine's avoidance was Kurt's own gnawing guilt. In his own zealous for the truth, he'd shoved something traumatizing right in Blaine's face. The other boy had every right to be furious at him for that. Kurt was just glad he was still here. His worst fear had been Blaine being taken back to... wherever he was from.

But he was hurt, too, by the avoidance and lies. Surely Blaine had realized Kurt recognized him, not at first maybe but once it became obvious with his questions and suspicions. It hurt to think Blaine didn't trust him with the truth. Kurt was older now. He understood things more and could be trusted to keep such a secret. It was obvious that it was true, too. The few times Blaine did meet his gaze in class or at lunch or in Glee, his eyes spoke more than either of them had in two weeks. Blaine was hurt, too. Despite his own guilt and regret for pushing, Kurt could understand that much. He couldn't imagine having something so terrible in his own past and having to relive it at a friend's house during dinner of all things.

After almost two weeks since their fateful dinner, Kurt couldn't stand the silence anymore. There was nobody else he really talked to at school. A few of the girls in Glee Club had started talking to him, particularly Mercedes who he was finding he had quite a bit in common with, but he missed Blaine. If Blaine was dead he'd have to leave here at some point again. That was what had happened when Kurt was a boy, and he suspected it would happen this time, too. He didn't want to lose whatever time he had to see Blaine. Who knew how long it would be until he saw Blaine again after this time; another eight years or even longer. He'd be in New York City, might even be married the next time Blaine popped up in his life.

At lunch exactly a week after Blaine first returned to school, Kurt rushed to lunch as soon as the bell rang. He knew Blaine had started eating somewhere besides the cafeteria and today he was going to find him and apologize. The only thing he wanted was his friend back at this point, and he hated that he might have lost him because he'd been too over the top.

He was the first in line and snuck out as the horde of other students started filing in. Blaine hadn't even been appearing to get lunch since last week. Part of Kurt thought he didn't even need to eat, but he could just as easily be bringing his lunch from home.

If Blaine had a home. Maybe he just slept in a graveyard or in a tree or the clouds or somewhere not normal. Kurt had no idea. He had so many questions that only Blaine could answer. It took Kurt several minutes to dodge the few teachers making their way to the teacher's lounge after the final bell, but then the hallways were empty. Kurt ran through the list of places Blaine had seemed to frequent in the few weeks they'd hung out together.

There was the choir room, but unless he's asked Mr. Schuester for special permission or could walk through walls (Kurt wasn't ruling anything out) then it was locked except for classes and practice after school.

There was the gymnasium, too, but Kurt thought there had to be a class in there right now. Blaine would be noticed if he went in there. Coach Sylvester or Coach Beiste wouldn't let him slip past.

Which left the backside of the school facing the football stadium and student parking lot. With a shiver, Kurt realized it was the same place that the old paper article had mentioned as the site of Blaine's death. He couldn't believe Blaine would actively seek such a place out, but maybe it was comforting in some way. Being near the last place he'd been alive surely had to remind him of his own life and better times. Maybe he even visited there to help himself cope with what had happened so long ago, especially after Kurt had brought it up so recently.

With another surge of sickening guilt, Kurt hurried through the halls with his lunch tray and towards the back exit. He'd start there first. It was the most likely spot he'd find Blaine. They had met there most afternoons when they didn't have Glee and had a different final class. At least now he had a reason for why. Kurt had never asked before. He hadn't asked a lot of things he should have instead of shoving that stupid article under Blaine's nose.

Kurt pushed the door open slowly, trying to stop it from creaking, but it was no good. It creaked and a sneaker squeaked on the cement out of sight. Blaine was here.

"B- Blaine?" Kurt called nervously. "I- I know you're here," he swallowed thickly and squeezed his eyes shut. "Can we please talk? I... I miss you and I'm sorry and– "

The door was pulled open the rest of the way, revealing Blaine with a brown lunch bag in hand. He looked as miserable as Kurt felt. Without thinking, Kurt rushed forward, his lunch tray clattering to the ground as he threw himself into Blaine's arms.

"Ommph!" Blaine grunted and stumbled backwards as Kurt clutched at him desperately.

"I'm sorry, I never should have– I thought I'd never see you again– Blaine–"

Blaine's arms circled around him tightly as hot tears started running down Kurt's cheeks. He never thought he'd ever see Blaine again. He might have been back for a week, but the idea of losing his friendship after everything it had meant to him for so many years terrified him.

"Kurt, I– don't worry, I'm fine," Blaine murmured as Kurt squeezed him tighter and refused to let go. "You– I'm not sure how, but it's– "

He felt Blaine tense against him. Slowly he extracted himself from Blaine's arms and wiped his tears away.

"You're still mad at me," Kurt said quietly when he got a good look at Blaine's expression. "I don't blame you at all. I'm so sorry I just shoved it in your face like that, but I was hurt and–"

"So you threw m- my death in my face?" Blaine hissed angrily. His jaw clenched tightly as his eyes darted to the parking lot behind Kurt. "God, you do have any idea– "

"No, I don't," Kurt said sharply, "because you never trusted me enough to tell me."

Blaine laughed then, and it was so unlike anything Kurt had ever heard from him that it was startling. He'd never heard such a loathsome sound out of Blaine, and he had every certainty that Blaine was directing it at himself. It was eerie seeing Blaine's expression change so dramatically, no longer cheerful or comforting, but hard and pain-filled. For a second, Kurt caught a glimpse of something he couldn't name, but it was a huge reminder of something he'd never really stopped to think about. Blaine might be dead, but he still felt and acted like a real person. The boy before him still had struggles and heartache and pain from the horrible death he'd suffered and the life he'd once had and lost. He wasn't just a shoulder for Kurt to cry on.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said softly, hugging himself tightly. "That– this– I've been so insensitive, but I just wanted answers because you're him. You're what I've wanted back in my life for so long, Blaine."

"Kurt," Blaine rubbed his face tiredly and dropped down onto the steps. He looked frustrated and tired and still so hurt by everything Kurt had done. "I didn't tell you because I couldn't. The fact that I'm still here talking to you right now? This shouldn't be happening. That's the first thing we're told. If you get caught, you get pulled back and... "

He trailed away miserably, dropping his head onto his knees and shivering. Kurt had never imagined Blaine could be so vulnerable. He'd never imagined anything beyond what Blaine had been to him as a child. It struck him then how naive he'd been, how foolish. Blaine had so much to weigh him down and he'd ignored that because of his own anger at the lies. The idea that Blaine was lying because he had to, hadn't even crossed Kurt's mind.

"Pulled back to where?" Kurt asked nervously. He dreaded the answer. If Heaven was real, if any of the religions were right, it would terrify him. How could any of them be right if they were created by living people?

"To... Kurt, it's complicated. It's all so complicated," Blaine sighed heavily as Kurt sat down beside him and gently rubbed his back. "I've been waiting to just get yanked back for almost two weeks and... I'm still here. You know and I'm still here."

From inside the school, the bell that ended their lunch period rang. It startled both of them.

"I guess we'll have to sneak my lunch in Chemistry," Blaine quipped as he glanced behind them to where Kurt had dropped his tray. Kurt looked, too. The entire walkway was splattered with spaghetti and mixed vegetables. His carton of milk had busted and was oozing down the steps on Blaine's other side.

"You still want to be friends?" Kurt asked timidly as Blaine stood up and stretched.

Blaine looked shocked at the question. "Of course I do," he said at once, giving Kurt an incredulous look. "I am here for you after all."

"You're– "

"Later? Please?" Blaine begged, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "There's so much to explain and I know you've recognized me for a while and have a million questions."

"Dinner at my house?" Kurt offered as the sound of stampeding students started to reach his ears.

"Sure. As long as there isn't an interrogation for the second course," Blaine agreed. Kurt winced at the reminder, but he caught the playful glint in Blaine's eyes and realized he was joking. As they stepped back into the building, Blaine bit his lip and paused."Does... um, your dad. Does he k- know?"

Kurt froze halfway down the hall and swallowed. His dad and Carole knew now, but he wasn't sure how much of it Carole believed. "Yeah, he does," Kurt said slowly. "He won't ask about it if you don't want him to or pry or anything, okay? I can ask him not to."

"No, I just– god, none of this makes any sense," Blaine grumbled as they headed back upstairs to their class.

"You're preaching that one to the choir," Kurt quipped pointedly. "You being... well, you know," he lowered his voice as they passed by a crowd of cheerleaders, "dead, doesn't make any sense since your here, but... "

"Later," Blaine finished. "I promise."

Kurt accepted his word and the half a peanut butter sandwich he was offered as they took their seats. Blaine might have been keeping things from him, but he was also the greatest friend Kurt had ever had. He could wait a few more hours if it meant his questions were answered and he would finally, truly get to know Blaine Anderson.

Their last class after English was Glee, though it was technically considered Choir. The only members of it were the Glee Club members, though, so they tended to use the time for extra practice. Kurt barely paid attention and once the class was over he brushed Rachel off and hurried out with Blaine. Rachel had started becoming rather attached to him in the last few weeks, but he had no idea why. A lot of the Glee girls had started talking to him since he'd started opening up to Blaine and then his father. It was odd, but very nice as well. Having new friends certainly couldn't hurt him.

They made it back to his house quickly and after grabbing a snack to make up for their pitiful lunch, Kurt and Blaine settled down on his bed, legs crossed with a tray of apple slices, celery, and peanut butter between them. For a few moments, Kurt watched Blaine dip his celery stalk into the peanut butter and stuff it into his mouth. The boy ate more peanut butter than Finn, Carole, his dad, and himself combined. It was also the only time he ate like a pig.

"So... is this obsessive love of peanut butter a dead people thing or just a you thing?" Kurt asked curiously. "Cause I guess it'd make a good bonding agent to keep your skin and stuff from falling off like a zombie's after fifty years, but it's kind of gross to think you're held together by– why are you laughing at me?"

Blaine had fallen over backwards, his head hanging off the foot of Kurt's bed while he laughed until he couldn't breathe.

Suddenly feeling very foolish, Kurt glared at the other boy. "It's not funny. How am I supposed to know if you're just like us or if you're... "

He trailed away, facing burning at the very idea of what he'd just suggested.

"A peanut butter man?" Blaine snorted, wiping his eyes and giggling a little more. "I– wow. I'd say that's a first, but nobody else has ever known anything so... "

Blaine sat up as Kurt glared petulantly at him. It had been a stupid suggestion, but he was starting to think anything was possible. Even walking peanut butter corpses.

"So you're... " Kurt trailed off with a little nudge at Blaine's legs. The other boy sat up and shook his laughter off.

"I'm dead, yeah," Blaine said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck. "Peanut butter is just a Blaine thing. I'm basically just like you when I'm here. Breathing, warm, fleshy, and so on. I can't get sick, though, or grow taller or fatter or anything. Umm, do you just wanna ask questions, I guess? There's so much I could talk about, but I think it'd just confuse you if I started."

"Okay," Kurt agreed, still glaring slightly at Blaine as he grabbed an apple slice and tried to find a good place to start. There were hundreds of questions popping off like fireworks in his head. Finding an easy place to start was difficult. "So... it's all true? What I found out?"

Blaine nodded slowly, looking a little uncomfortable. "Yeah, the a- article and all of that. It was a long time ago. It doesn't really matter now."

Kurt watched him for a moment. Blaine was brushing that one off, even lying again. At least now Kurt had a reason for why he was. He didn't blame Blaine for not wanting to talk about such a terrible thing. It was even difficult for Kurt to relive his mother's death. He couldn't begin to imagine having to relive his own, or even being present for his own.

"You don't have to lie to me, Blaine," Kurt said gently. "It does matter, but if you don't want to talk about what happened then just say so. Please?"

"I– sorry," Blaine said sheepishly. "It's just... a habit. I've never told anyone anything about... this."

"This? Like where you're... from?" Kurt asked uncertainly. "Like, are you a ghost or an a- angel or– "

"No," Blaine said, smiling ruefully. "I mean, some people might consider me an angel if they believe that sort of thing, but... I don't. I've never been to a place called Heaven or even been told it exists outside of here. I'm just drifting. I guess that's the best way to put it."

"Drifting? Like between here and– " Kurt waved his hands about to try to convey what he meant. It was so difficult to make sense of any of this in his mind.

"I... Kurt, the place I come from – where I've been since I died – it's called the Between," Blaine explained slowly. "It's not Heaven or Hell or anything I've ever really heard from any religion. Honestly, it's a lot like here. Just... different."

"How?" Kurt asked curiously. Part of him was relieved that Blaine hadn't identified any particular religion as the truth for existence after death. The whole idea of such a place still scared him.

"It's timeless," Blaine said carefully. "There's no such thing there. It looks just like it does here. Same town, buildings for the most part, but everyone's stuck there until they sort themselves out. It's like being in limbo in a way. You can't move Beyond until– "

"Beyond?" Kurt echoed. "What's that?"

"Honestly? I don't know," Blaine said simply. "I won't know until I get there and you can't come back from there." He paused, looking thoughtful. "I think it's a little different for everyone, Kurt. Beyond, I mean. You get there when you're ready. Some people go straight there when they die, if they had a good life and had no regrets or anything still attaching them to your plane."

Kurt nodded slowly, trying to digest everything Blaine was saying. It was a lot to take in at once. The idea of a place called Between was weird to him, but given how it seemed to be a stepping stone for some people after they died, but before they went Beyond, the name made sense. It sounded like a place of second chances to Kurt. Somewhere people who had screwed up or been assaulted and murdered like Blaine, could go and find a way through their pain and grief until they were ready to get past it.

"So it's a plane," Kurt repeated, thinking about the type he'd learned about in geometry a few years ago. "That seems weird to me. The Between is like... right here with us then?"

"In a way, yeah," Blaine agreed. "You can't see them, they can't see you. Not until one of us crosses over into yours. Time is what separates us. There are some people, mostly kids, who can see some of us sometimes. That's where the idea of ghosts come from. It's here, but it's separate. Invisible to anyone alive because, at least in this life, you haven't crossed over into that world. You haven't left Time yet," Blaine finished. "Not like we have."

Time. It was the third time Blaine had mentioned it. Somehow it was much more than Kurt had ever imagined it was in his mind. To him it was just a way to count and pass the day away. A guideline of sorts for when to do this or that and to tell how old he was. For Blaine, it seemed much more important. Almost like it had taken on the role of a god.

"So Time," Kurt said uncertainly, "is like what rules over the Between? Or here? Is it like a god or deity or something weird I've never heard of?"

"I wouldn't say a god," Blaine decided after a moment. "More like an entity. It doesn't have a consciousness from what I've seen. It's just this force that progresses your world. We call here," Blaine gestured around the room, "the Present. This is the strongest moment in Time, whatever's happening here. The Between is completely detached from it. There is no Time there. No change or distance or anything progressive. It's kind of depressing to put into words, actually, being removed from Time."

"And you've been there, in the Between, since you died?" Kurt questioned. Blaine nodded and fiddled with a button on his sweater. Fifty years of never changing. Not growing older or younger or taller or wider. It blew Kurt's mind. He couldn't imagine living (was it even really living?) like that. "That sounds terrible."

"It's hard to get used to," Blaine agreed. "Most of us still do everything we used to do. Eating, sleeping, even breathing, just to feel normal. They're hard habits to stop and they're comforting. Good practice, too, for once we come back here where we have to do them."

"Why do you come back here?"

"To help us get through whatever we're struggling with," Blaine informed him. "We help people in similar situations or with things we've dealt with. Eventually we get a final mission where we deal with our own past. It's like a build up to that last one. To prepare us to be able to handle it."

"But for fifty years?" Kurt remarked hollowly. "That's such a long time."

"Most people aren't there for that long," Blaine admitted sheepishly. "Honestly, I don't know anyone who's been there for as long as I have, Kurt. Makes me feel old."

"But you're only sixteen– "

Blaine laughed. "Am I? I've been sixteen for fifty years," he remarked dully. "Somehow I don't think I am anymore, even if I look it."

"This is your last mission," Kurt deduced, watching Blaine's expression flicker fearfully. "What exactly do you have to do?"

"I don't know," Blaine said honestly. "I mean, I'm here for you, Kurt. To help you in some way and to deal with my own past, but... they don't hand out details for the last one. What happens and what I do is entirely up to me."

"That's... daunting," Kurt whispered. "God, I can't imagine... "

"I've figured parts of it out, I think," Blaine explained. "Helping you come out to your dad was part of it. I've done a lot of coming out cases, so that was easy to figure out. But the rest... I don't know. There's the obvious parts, you know, what connects what happened to me with your life– "

"Bullies," Kurt interjected miserably. He hated the lot of them. There was no logical reason for them to do half of the things they did. Just mindless fear and hatred driven actions from a bunch of stupid teenagers. It was what had happened to Blaine, if that news article had been anything to go by, and–

With a jolt, Kurt gasped and stared over at Blaine in horror.

"Kurt, what– "

"Am I– are you here to h- help me die? Please, don't– my dad wouldn't survive that. Not after my mom–"

"Kurt, woah, woah! Slow down," Blaine demanded, grabbing his hands and brushing his thumbs over Kurt's palms until Kurt started taking deep breaths. "Shh, just breathe."

Two calloused thumbs brushed over Kurt's cheeks as he took a slow deep breath. Blaine's hands were cupping his face, holding him steady as he calmed down and his heart stopped hammering against his ribs. His eyes drifted closed for a moment as Blaine's touch eased him through his panic and then his eyes flickered open.

Blaine was there, looking concerned, but strong as he smiled encouragingly and nodded. "Shh, deep breaths. You're fine, okay?"

Kurt nodded shakily and coughed to clear his throat. Blaine. He was always there for him, so kind and gentle with his bright, beautiful eyes and his warm smile.

"You okay?" Blaine whispered, brushing a tear away gently. "Yeah?"

Kurt nodded again and tried to smile. It barely pulled back his lips, but Blaine's touch was enough to keep him from crying anymore. The other boy smiled at him once more, and Kurt's stomach gave a funny tug at the look.

"Look, Kurt," Blaine started slowly, "I... honestly, I don't know what's going to happen. To you or anyone else, but I don't think you're dying anytime soon, okay? I'm here to help you and, in turn, help myself get past... that. I don't think the same thing happening to you would help either of us."

"But then–"

"I think I'm here to prevent something similar, but I just don't know," Blaine admitted, dropping his hands from Kurt's cheeks. The sudden lack of warmth made Kurt shiver and his stomach ache. "None of this makes any sense to me right now. All of this is so bizarre."

"Because I know?" Kurt asked timidly.

"Because they're allowing you to know," Blaine corrected. "They've never done that before. Not as far as I know. But it's... nice," he added. "I've never just been able to... talk. About it or anything before."

"Maybe that's part of this last mission?" Kurt suggested, not sure what term to use for what Blaine was here doing. "Maybe the person you're here helping has to know and figure it out so you can open up and get past whatever happened. Part of getting past things is usually talking about them, right?"

Blaine stared over at him for several minutes like he didn't believe him. The idea made sense to Kurt. The reason Blaine was here was because he didn't seem to be able to deal with what had happened on his own. He needed someone else to help him open up, accept what happened, and face it. That had to be why they'd given him back to Kurt. Together they'd face Kurt's bullies and really make his life complete again. At the same time, they'd piece Blaine's heart back together from the trauma he'd endured.

"We'll figure it out," Kurt decided simply, reaching out and taking Blaine's hand. "We've got time, right?"

"Until June," Blaine said heavily.

Blaine's grip was loose at first, his eyes a little unfocused and unsure. There was so much Blaine still hadn't told him that seemed hugely important, but it could wait. Just like his coming out had taken time, so would Blaine trusting him with the truth of his worst memories.


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