A dull ringing hummed against Blaine's head, waking him up as the house creaked in protest to the winds gusting outside. With a groan, he squinted around in the darkness of his bedroom, trying to understand where the noise was coming from and, more importantly, why such a noise was happening in the middle of the night. Silence followed a second ring and by the time the third one began, Blaine was coherent enough to realize it was his cell phone, buried somewhere in his pillows or bedding. He'd fallen asleep talking to Kurt however many hours beforehand and, as he rolled over and started digging, he was suddenly blinded by the light of the screen as he pushed one of his pillows aside.

He scrambled to grab it and answer before it jumped to his voice mail, fumbling and yawning sleepily.

"H- h- hello?" Blaine mumbled, another yawn crawling out of his mouth.

"They're at it again," Kurt deadpanned, sounding amused and perturbed. "Figured you'd be interested in knowing what you're getting into when you move up here in a few months."

"Who's the girl this time?" Blaine rasped, stretching before he snuggled back down with the body pillow Kurt had given him. It had become his new sleeping companion when he was in Lima without the comfort of Kurt's warm scent and presence beside him. "Pillow's starting to lose its Kurt smell, by the way," he mentioned, rubbing at one eye and then the other.

"Then you better bring it along next weekend," Kurt chimed in playfully. "I'm sure I can get that smell back in no time to help you sleep. Well," Kurt paused and Blaine could hear his grin in the silence, "as long as you do the same for my big pillow."

"It's a date," Blaine agreed, squinting over at his night-stand to check the time. "It's almost four in the morning. Why on earth is Rachel bitching when it's the weekend?"

"She's going to some Broadway show with Brody and wants to be well rested, I think. Hold on, I'll check."

Blaine heard Kurt shuffling his phone and then the distinct murmur of voices in the background turned into a roar.

"You're just pissed because – oh, fuck, yes, right there– you aren't getting any!" Santana yelled, her voice breathy and high and what Blaine imagined was a tone that meant she was close to orgasm.

"I am not!" Rachel bellowed. "I g- get plenty with Brody– "

"Plenty bad," Santana snarled, but her voice cut off with a loud moan.

"So I'd hate to break up this little love fest, but why the hell does it matter on a Saturday night?" Kurt shouted, louder in Blaine's ears than the girls. "Blaine wants to know," he added offhandedly. "I'm quite curious myself."

Blaine grimaced at the inclusion of his name, but listened closely anyway as Rachel rattled on about needing precisely eight hours of sleep every night in order to perform at her peak abilities.

"Why didn't you just go to Brody's?" Kurt demanded as an unfamiliar woman's voice moaned in the background. "It has to be quieter there– "

"It's because she's sick of getting stuffed instead of satisfied," Santana replied.

"I am plenty sat– "

The phone was shuffled around again and the women's voices dimmed as Kurt's breathing returned against Blaine's ear.

"It's funny, really," Kurt admitted. "They're only noisy when Rachel's here. I guess she's trying to prove some bizarre point."

"Another new girl from the bar?" Blaine queried as the woman cried out in the background. "She doesn't sound familiar."

"Actually, I think it's that red head… um, Alessa? Alexa?" The phone was moved again and a second later Kurt bellowed, "Santana, do you at least know her name?"

"Her name's Alexa!"

"My name's Alexa!"

"Thanks!"

Blaine rolled his eyes and snorted. "At least she's not jumping around from girl to girl still."

"Yeah, I think they've started getting breakfast in the mornings after they're all done pissing Rachel off," Kurt told him. "So how are you? Any word from NYADA or Julliard again?"

Blaine hummed a negative and sighed at the thought of his final two schools. He'd been smart and hadn't sent in rejects to the other handful yet, but he was still nervous. His NYADA audition a few weeks ago had gone quite well. He'd taken Rachel and Kurt's advice, even some from Isaac, and gone for depth over bells and whistles. He'd taken an old Backstreet Boys song, gutting the drums, guitar, and the rest of the instrumental noise, adapted it for piano and taken the stage alone, just himself and the baby grand that hung out in the choir room. It had been an incredible risk, especially with his arrangement, but it had actually worked. Madame Tibideaux had even complimented his arrangement and said he should think of it as an option in terms of a career path.

"Should be some time in the next few weeks," Blaine answered, curling his legs around the body pillow he had pressed against himself. "I miss you. Three weeks is such a long time."

"I know," Kurt agreed, his voice soft and slightly raspy. "And they aren't helping. Every night it just makes me wish you were here. Your skin against mine and– "

Kurt's words stuttered to a halt, his breathing sharp and loud against Blaine's ear. He knew what Kurt was imagining, knew he wouldn't dare say it since Blaine was still so uncomfortable with the physicality of it.

"You can say it, Kurt," Blaine said softly. "I want to know what you think about when you're alone. Just you and your hand, wishing it was mine instead."

"Y- you were on your side and I was pressed up behind you, slow and close," Kurt said after a moment, breathing still heavy. "I love taking you like that."

"It's my favorite," Blaine agreed, eyes drifting closed as he imagined it, Kurt pressed up against his back, one arm curled snuggly around his waist and the other hooked under his armpit, fingers tangling into his sweaty curls as they moved together slowly…

"Fuck, I'm so hard," Kurt groaned, and Blaine could imagine Kurt sliding his pajama pants down his hips and freeing his erection. "Are you– "

Blaine flinched at the question, because the honest answer was no. He wasn't. Even talking about bottoming did nothing for him now, and he knew it was because the immediate thought was of the last time he'd been stretched and it still made him queasy.

"Kurt, I– no, I'm sorry, I just– "

"Oh," Kurt said in disappointment as more noises echoed from the loft. "I'm sorry for overstepping or making you uncomfortable– "

"No, god, Kurt, don't be. I'm just… stupid. I can't even think about it without remembering and I'm just so sick of being at a standstill with this," Blaine said furiously, his eyes burning. "I'm sorry I'm ruining this for you– "

"Blaine, you aren't– "

"It feels like I am," Blaine said miserably. "I wish I could just make sense of it all in my mind. Like, I know it's different, but… "

He couldn't continue the thought, not over the phone. It was a discussion he had to have face to face with Kurt instead of while Santana and her new girl were fucking in the background. Telling Kurt that sex with Eli had to mean something to him, because sex had always meant something before that, wasn't a fear he wanted to say over the phone. It didn't even make sense to him, and it hurt twice as much to think that that hour with Eli had meant something to him, even though he didn't think it did. But his only experiences had meant something incredible, loving, and blissful, and with Eli… he came up blank. It had to mean something different, but he couldn't imagine how the same physical act could be so opposite in his head and heart.

"It's fine, Blaine, really," Kurt insisted. "Just… I wish I had some solution for you, baby."

"It's not yours to– "

Blaine trailed off as he realized what was missing. It wasn't what the encounter had meant to him that was messing with his head so much, he knew it had been meaningless and selfish, a headlong dive to fill the void of pain, but it was what it had meant to the other boy, to Eli, that he didn't know. He hadn't stayed that night to even find out. Because as much as he wanted to define that night as meaningless and nothing but a mistake, it was an experience that had been two sided. It couldn't be fully meaningless if it had meant something to Eli like sex did for Kurt and Blaine. That was the problem he was having in letting this go.

"Kurt, I– I think I know what I need to do," Blaine said abruptly, fumbling over his words. "I– it's– I need you to trust me, okay?"

"You know I do," Kurt said immediately. "More than I ever have. But… Blaine, what are you going to– "

"I'll tell you everything when I see you this weekend, okay? I promise," Blaine said softly, untangling himself from his bedding and stumbling over to his desk. "It's… god, it's probably crazy, but… I think this is what I need to do to get my head and heart on the same page."

As he spoke Blaine flipped his laptop open and waited for it to load up. Once it did, he opened his internet browser and logged onto Facebook.

"You do whatever you need to, okay? Just… I love you," Kurt murmured, yawning loudly a second later. "They're quieting down. I'm gonna get some sleep, all right?"

"I love you, too," Blaine said sincerely, typing four letters into his search bar. "Thank you for trusting me so much."

"Mhmm," Kurt yawned softly, mumbling unintelligibly and then said goodnight.

Blaine hung up as well, setting his phone down in the dim light of his computer screen and clicking on the profile he'd been searching for. If he'd told Kurt what he was about to do, the other man would probably never agree. He was already half talking himself out of the decision when he sent a short message.

It would be worth it if it meant he finally got past this block. Kurt would understand that.

Tuesday afternoon, Blaine skipped out on Glee Club after school. Instead, he headed straight over to the mall in town, anxiously checking his watch as he sat down at an empty table next to the Taco Bell stand in the food court. When he'd suggested it as a place to meet, he'd thought it was ideal. There was no tone of solitude or a suggestion that there'd be anything more than conversation. The place left no room for misinterpretation of what this meeting was about and Blaine just hoped that it didn't make the other boy decide not to show.

Blaine stared at the watch on his wrist as three o'clock came and then went. At a quarter after, Blaine had all but given up until–

"Blaine, right?"

The voice grated at his nerves, making him flinch because, despite the distance of time, he still knew the inflections and pitch perfectly. It haunted him regardless of his state of consciousness and hopefully, after this, Blaine would finally be free of it.

"Eli," Blaine greeted, voice even as he turned around in his seat. "Hi."

"Odd place to meet," Eli said offhandedly, glancing around at the elderly couples dotting the eating area and the mother with her two toddlers a few booths away. "Look," he said abruptly, "whatever you caught, you didn't get it from me, so if you're just trying to warn me to get tested I do every three months and I'm still clean– "

"No, no, that's– " Blaine shook his head in disbelief and waved towards the seat across from him. "That's not it, but I'm clean, too. Tested a few weeks ago. Um… please, sit."

Looking cautious and uneasy, Eli sat down, glancing around them as though he expected someone to jump out and tackle him. It was so different seeing him again, months later, in broad daylight and without the insistent press of his mouth as soon as Blaine stepped into his room. He took a deep breath, trying to coach himself through what he had to get out and learn from the other boy.

"I have a boyfriend," Blaine stated, resting his hands on the table and trying to remain calm. He'd worked out the various things he wanted to say since he'd first messaged Eli again. He just hoped somehow being honest with the guy he'd cheated with helped like he thought it would. "I had a boyfriend when we hooked up."

Eli raised an eyebrow, looking a little surly as he shrugged. "So?"

"So," Blaine continued forcefully, "he means everything to me and what we did has haunted me since October. I need to know what it meant to you."

Blaine watched as Eli leaned back, looking thoughtful and he thought he knew the answer that he was going to get from him. It was the one he was hoping for; the one that meant it had been meaningless for both parties. That it had truly meant nothing and was incomparable to what he shared with Kurt.

"Honestly, I barely even remember you," Eli admitted, shrugging carelessly. "We fucked, it was fun, and that's that, dude. Stop making it into something dramatic when it's justsex. Sex just feels good," Eli added, standing up and looking annoyed. "So if you're done wasting my time, I've got a guy waiting for me."

The words didn't sting, not like Blaine thought they should. Eli didn't care about him, didn't even remember him. There was nothing positive shared between them and never had been. Something felt like it snapped in Blaine's chest as the certainty sunk into his skin, trickling out and sealing over the last little breaks in his heart. It would still take time to settle and mesh, but he breathed easier with the answer. There was no connection to this and what he and Kurt had and that made all the difference.

As Eli began stalking away, Blaine spun around in his chair.

"Do you love him? This guy?"

Eli snorted derisively. "No, what's the fun in that?" he snapped, starting to look angry. "I really have better things to do than talk to you, so– "

"I'm sorry you haven't figured it out yet."

Just as he had started to turn away again, Eli stopped, turning and glaring at Blaine, who continued quietly and with purpose.

"I wish the best for you, I really do," Blaine said calmly. "I hope someday you understand what I've learned with Kurt and all of this. Everything is better when you're in love, sex included, and nothing else can ever compared to sharing yourself with someone who means that much to you. Not even a one night stand. It can't touch that intimacy because there isn't any involved. It's empty and someday I hope you see that and want more for yourself."

Before Eli could snap or snarl at him, Blaine stood up and smiled softly, lips closed as he gave Eli a sad look.

"Good luck, Eli, and thanks, really," Blaine said, shrugging slightly. "Probably sounds odd since this was the worst year of my life, but I'm glad I've learned all of this about myself. I'm glad I figured all of this out now and bettered myself from it. It's not easy to find love; it's even harder to have faith in it."

Blaine turned away, walked past the mother with her two little toddlers, and headed for the closest exit. He still had to meet Sam for their usual afternoon boxing and workout regimen, now with a lighter feeling in his head and a lot of thoughts and realizations to process. As he pushed through the door and the sunlight hit his skin, he smiled more fully, chest loose as the struggle in his chest continued to unwind and dissolve. It was just another memory now, still lingering with negativity, but with the strength and realization of his growth now attached.

Kurt was anxious as he stood on the subway, hand grasping the railing along the ceiling as he headed back to Bushwick with a stuffy crowd of other commuters. It was Friday afternoon, his first day of a three day break from work, because Blaine was visiting. He grinned sheepishly at the thought, and more importantly at the phone call from last night. He couldn't place what had been different, but Blaine had sounded pleased, happier than he had in weeks. Kurt hoped it meant whatever Blaine had thought of had worked and that he would hear about it tonight, but there had been some type of progress with Blaine's struggle and Kurt was relieved.

He also hoped that Blaine was very naked when he got home in twenty minutes, because three weeks without his touch was far too long.

As the subway stopped, Kurt hurried off, bustling through the crowds and heading up to the street where he hustled along towards his loft. The sidewalk was crowded today, much more so than usual, and Kurt glared spitefully at the sun beating down and the warm breeze fluffing up his hair. It was the first nice day in several weeks and a Friday, so everyone was out and about, enjoying the weather while it lasted.

Up the stairs and through the sliding door; Kurt didn't even pause as he dropped his bag onto the couch and hurried into his room. Blaine was there, curled on his side, shirtless and fast asleep. Kurt pouted at the sight, disappointed, but knowing Blaine had to be exhausted after the week he'd had; finalizing the last prom details, continuing graduation plans with the committee for that, Glee rehearsals for Nationals in another two weeks, and all of the final projects and papers that were starting to be due.

Kurt shrugged out of his shirt and slowly eased his boots off before sliding up behind Blaine and tugged him against his chest. A nap did sound like a decent alternative to sex, after all. There would always be time for that later and then all day tomorrow.

Blaine hummed in his sleep, wiggling back against Kurt, who groaned in dismay, because even if he'd decided that a nap was good, his dick was still throbbing.

" 'urt?" Blaine murmured, rolling more into Kurt and blinking slowly up at him.

"Hi," Kurt whispered, twisting his hips away so that Blaine didn't grow uncomfortable with his erection against his ass. "Nap time?"

"Mmm, 'unch of screaming 'abies on train," Blaine complained quietly, turning more until he could tuck his head under Kurt's chin.

Despite his attempts to turn away, Kurt found Blaine's thigh pressed against his hard-on. He whimpered weakly, swallowing loudly as he felt Blaine grin against his throat.

"Never pegged you as a nap kink kind of guy," Blaine said lightly, trailing his hands teasingly down Kurt's side to his hip.

"Never pegged you as a sleepy tease," Kurt countered, but Blaine's hands moved back up, still heavy and awkward as Blaine yawned.

"Mmm, too comfy for blowjobs right now," Blaine sighed, pressing a gentle kiss to Kurt's throat. "Rain check?"

"As long as it's good for when we wake up," Kurt agreed, slipping his arms around Blaine's waist and rolling onto his back.

As the weight of Blaine's body settled down on his, Kurt was surprised to feel Blaine's cock against his own thigh, not completely hard, but definitely on its way there. Ever since they'd gotten back together, it was rare for Blaine to be hard first or to be the one starting anything sexual. Kurt knew there was a lot of reasons behind that, but he hadn't realized how much he missed Blaine against him like this, comfortable and relaxed even though he was hard. It made his blood surge faster, despite the cute little snuffling snore Blaine had just released against his neck.

"Blaine? Are you asleep again?"

It took a moment, but Blaine shifted slightly before he slurred, "Not 'et."

"This boner isn't going to go away when you're hard against me," Kurt said bluntly. "Any chance I can wake you up enough to help me with it?"

Blaine groaned tiredly and wiggled some more, his leg pressing down against Kurt, who moaned weakly as his hips jerked off the bed.

"Wanna talk before we do anything," Blaine yawned, eyes still closed as he let his left hand drift over Kurt's chest and start rubbing slowly at one of his nipples. "Need to tell you things."

Tension spiked in Kurt's chest, bringing a little prickle of fear with it. It scared him how quickly his mind still jumped to the worst conclusions, the ones that told him it had happened all over again despite their better communication and the growth they'd both experienced.

"Blaine, what– I– " Kurt babbled helpfully, his heart aching as it beat faster.

At the sound of his voice breaking, Blaine propped himself up, suddenly wide awake and looking upset. "Kurt, no. It's not– I will never do that again," Blaine said vehemently. "You are it for me and I have the faith and believe to back that up, okay? It's nothing terrible like that, I promise."

But Kurt was still panicking despite Blaine's reassurances. It was overwhelming now that the thoughts were there, and he had no idea how to calm himself down. Some pessimistic part of his conscious had still clung to the silent terror that would yield a repeat of Blaine's mistake. He wouldn't survive that; his heart had barely managed the first one.

Kurt found himself in Blaine's arms a few seconds later, hugged tight as his spine was rubbed soothingly and sweet kisses dotted his forehead. He felt foolish for even thinking it, but he'd never originally thought it was a possibility either. It had to be a path their relationship could take if he was doing to be mature and understand where they were.

After several minutes, Kurt found himself relaxing in Blaine's embrace, clinging tightly and hopefully. He didn't know what he would do without Blaine again, if the only thing he had to replace this man was loneliness and heartache.

"It isn't what you thought at all, Kurt," Blaine whispered softly, "but I did see Eli again."

Kurt tensed at the statement, the certainty behind it, and waited, trying to make sense of how this scenario worked. Blaine had seen Eli again but had said it wasn't what Kurt had thought. What else could Blaine possibly see him for? He didn't even know the guy, not the way he did friends or even acquaintances, so it wasn't just to hang out or anything simple. They'd met once for an hour and done things Kurt still didn't like to think about.

"I asked him to meet me at the mall," Blaine continued quietly, "so he wouldn't get the wrong idea. I told him I had a boyfriend when we hooked up. Kurt, I– knowing what it meant to him helped so much."

"It meant something to him," Kurt stated blankly, unable to believe it because from what Kurt understood, Blaine had said it was meaningless. "I thought it was meaningless– "

"For me, yes, and I assumed for him, but it takes two and… I had to know I was right and," Blaine paused and shook his head before smiling. "He didn't even remember me, Kurt. It truly meant nothing like I thought it had."

Kurt pondered his words, his heart rate slowing down as he realized what Blaine had really been after when he'd made this decision. He also understood why he had asked Kurt to trust him instead of saying his plan over the phone. He wouldn't have agreed to it, no matter what the reason was. But Blaine was smiling against his chin now, relaxed and more in control and at ease than he had been in so long.

Maybe it had been a good idea, following that last connection and seeing what, if anything, was actually there.

"Kurt, please, say something," Blaine said quietly a few minutes later.

Kurt felt his smile shrink against his neck and realized he'd snapped earlier and that Blaine assumed he was mad, maybe even furious, and he wasn't. Blaine had faced Eli, tied off that last piece of pain, and was better for it. He wasn't mad, but he wasn't entirely okay either. The very thought of Blaine with that boy again made Kurt itch to have Blaine, to inspect every inch of him for hickeys or marks that weren't made by him.

"I'm glad it helped, Blaine," Kurt finally said. "I really am, I just… I didn't expect that. It scared me for a minute."

"Because you don't trust me?" Blaine asked quietly.

"Because I doubted this was as real as it's always felt," Kurt said immediately, and the truth of his words didn't hit him until Blaine raised them up and brushed his bangs back. "I do trust you. I just don't like the idea of him within seeing distance of you, that's all. Not after… "

Blaine swallowed, looking tearful, but nodded. "Something that devoid of meaning for the people involved can't change the connection and meaning we share, Kurt. I thought what I'd done had tainted my flesh, but it can't now. There's nothing important attached to it like there is with you, and while it definitely defines me in a lot of ways, it's not going to control me anymore."

Kurt watched Blaine as he finished, his jaw closing and jutting strongly as his gaze settled on Kurt beside him. It amazed Kurt that, even now, Blaine was still changing, still learning and shaping himself from the mistake he'd made in October.

"So does that mean you're ready for… " Kurt trailed off, unable to finish the question in case it ended in a definite "no" that shut that part of their sex life off permanently.

"It means I still need time to… process all of this, but I think I'll be there soon," Blaine decided after a moment. "I want to make sure I'm sure, so that you don't have to worry if I'm ready or not."

Kurt bit his lip, fighting down the hopeful smile Blaine's words brought. "Thank you for telling me," he murmured, pecking Blaine on the cheek. Someday they would have that again. He was relieved and overwhelmed at the thought, already imagining Blaine pressing back against him or perhaps climbing on top of him, in total control as he held Kurt down and rode…

"Kurt, you're getting hard just thinking about it, aren't you?"

"Maybe," Kurt admitted sheepishly, shifting his hips away again but still smiling.

"Well, I am awake now," Blaine said slowly, dragging a light finger over Kurt's chest. "And we could explore a little further than we have so far, if you want… "

"Really?" Kurt blurted, bolting up into a sitting position.

Blaine snorted in delighted amusement at Kurt's reaction, and reached up to cup his jaw.

"Yes, really," Blaine agreed, propping himself up on his elbows and grinning shyly. "Nothing crazy, but… I'd like to feel some part of you again, even if it's not all of you yet."

A rumbling groan clawed up Kurt's throat at the suggestions Blaine was giving. He quickly rolled on top of Blaine, pressing him down into the bed and whining in relief as he felt Blaine arch up against him.

"Missed having you under me," Kurt rasped, voice low and shaky as he started to fumble with Blaine's jeans. "Fuck, you're throbbing, I can feel it."

Blaine grunted as Kurt popped his jeans open and started tugging them down his hips. The little whimper that followed made Kurt pause to bit to his lip and stop himself from panting. It was startling how fast he'd just gotten turned on, but at this point, just the idea of going down on Blaine, or having his mouth or fingers anywhere near this area of his body, made him ache from head to toe. Blaine's erection slid out of his jeans, curving up towards his belly and resting heavily on the smooth, toned expanse of skin. Without bothering to remove Blaine's jeans completely, Kurt grabbed Blaine by the hips, dropping his mouth to Blaine's cock and pressing his tongue along the thick length.

Above him, Blaine jerked, moaning high and loud, as Kurt nibbled along the underside, moaning at the delightful taste of Blaine against his tongue after so long.

"God, you taste better than I remember," Kurt panted, cupping Blaine's balls and starting to roll them gently in his hand. It was a motion that always made Blaine jerk and gasp, and this time Blaine's hips rocketed off the bed, a high-pitched keen breaking past his lips and making Kurt's cock strain roughly against his own jeans.

Blaine's hands flumped down on either side of his hips, fingers curling into the blankets and tugging as Kurt worked over him continuously, following an old cycle that he'd always used to tease Blaine into a frenzied state of dizziness before he stretched him open. His teeth scraped over one sharp hipbone and then his tongue pressed along the dimple of Blaine's abdominal muscles, following the sharp line down to the base of his cock, only to circle around and slid up to the other hip.

Kurt knew the nips drove Blaine crazy, made him twist and jerk and whine, and the fact that it still did, that Kurt still had that control when he wanted, made warmth spread through his chest. Blaine was still his, wholly and completely, and to him this was all the proof he needed. No other man knew Blaine this well, or understood that a sharp nibble along his three ribs made him cry out louder than when he was being fucked just the right way. Blaine was a visible map for Kurt and Kurt alone, and as he let his tongue paint its way up Blaine's skin, he already knew Blaine was coming undone.

"K- Kurt– holy– p- please– been so long– oh!"

"Tell me what you need," Kurt purred, lips brushing up Blaine's throat and then pressing softly under his earlobe. "I bet you need those beautiful lips stretched around a nice cock, don't you?"

For once, Kurt was nervous about uttering the phrase, unsure if Blaine was ready for that aspect of their relationship. Dirty talk hadn't been an overarching theme for them, but it had certainly happened a lot as they got more comfortable with power and letting the other have more, or even total, control.

Blaine's fingers unclenched from the bedding, fumbling towards Kurt's jeans, and without another thought of doubt, Kurt sat up, straddling Blaine's chest as he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and eased them down until his cock sprung free, heavy and pulsing as it drooped towards Blaine's parted lips.

"Is this what you want?" Kurt whispered, voice shaky as he petted through Blaine's mused up curls and slowly eased one hand around to the back of Blaine's head, cupping his scalp and urging him forward. With his other hand, Kurt took hold of his cock, slowly teasing the tip over Blaine's trembling lips. "Do you want to feel my cock stretch your throat?"

Blaine's eyes, dark and lustful, finally glanced up at his face. It was a look Kurt had been dreaming about, a stare he'd thought he'd never fully receive again. Blaine was pliant and willing below him, ready for Kurt to do as he pleased for as long as he pleased, and it was almost strange for Kurt after everything that had changed. Having Blaine so needy and wanting wasn't a dominate part of their everyday relationship, so it was a funny shift to turn back into, but it was still warm, familiar and welcoming.

"Fuck my mouth," Blaine urged, parting his lips as Kurt stroked his cheek gently. "I want to be yours."

"Sweet boy," Kurt murmured as Blaine's arms curled around his thighs and urged his hips forward. The tip of his cock pressed through Blaine's parted lips, his teeth tugging a little until Blaine opened wider, moaning around him as Kurt's hands tangled sharply into his hair.

"Fuck," Kurt swore, head thrown back as he thrust in a few more inches, slowly easing Blaine's throat open until Blaine gagged and he eased out. "God, you take it so well."

Blaine groaned as Kurt thrust back into his mouth, deeper into the heat until he felt the tip of his cock hit the back of Blaine's throat and then push through, into the tighter muscles. Blaine swallowed thickly around him, his whines muffled as his tongue swept along the ridge on the underside of Kurt's cock.

Kurt shivered, letting his hips start rolling at their own pace, trusting Blaine to remember their signs if he needed to pause or stop. He kept his gentle grip on the back of Blaine's head, supporting him so his neck didn't start to ache as he fucked Blaine's mouth. It was a beautiful sight to see, Blaine's huge eyes locked on him, his hips stuttering under Kurt, as his mouth stretched wider to accept the entire length of Kurt's cock.

Saliva soaked Kurt's erection, dripping down his ball sack and onto Blaine's collarbones and chin. Kurt was trembling as he moved a little faster, Blaine's hands sliding up to his ass and encouraging him. He was drenched in sweat, and his heart was twanging like a rubber band at the thrill of having a moment like this again.

"B- Blaine– oh god– baby, I'm gonna– "

Blaine swallowed repeatedly, eyes watering as Kurt groaned and arched, his head falling back as his stomach spun tighter with heat and a fluttering muscles. He was so close already, so ridiculous excited to have the heat of Blaine's body around him once more–

With a shout, Kurt came, his cock slipping out of Blaine's throat and mouth as he spilled over, twitching as he coated Blaine's face. Trembling, Kurt sunk down against Blaine until his face was buried against Blaine's neck.

"I didn't get to taste you," Blaine pouted, breathing to heavy.

It took Kurt a moment realize that there was still a very hard cock jutting against his hip and that Blaine was rutting against him. Shaking, he pushed himself up and his stomach pooled with more heat again at the sight of Blaine's face. Kurt's come was painted over his cheeks, a thick line down his chin, and one dangerously close to sliding down into Blaine's eyes.

"God, you're so hot," Kurt rasped, leaning down and carefully licking at that trail of his come. He followed it down Blaine's forehead, through his eyebrow, and then slowly brushed his tongue over Blaine's eyelid. "So beautiful," Kurt continued, kissing Blaine's open mouth and swirling his come-covered tongue into Blaine's mouth for him to taste. "What do you need me to do for you?"

Blaine sucked on Kurt's lips for a few seconds longer, catching his tongue and taking the last of the taste from it. Kurt let his hand drift down, capturing Blaine's slick erection and eliciting a pleading groan from Blaine.

"Tell me," Kurt encouraged as he stroked him, "what you need."

He kissed the underside of Blaine's earlobe again, stomach still pulled taut at the thought of the come coating Blaine's face.

"F- finger me?" Blaine stammered breathlessly. "I– I need more– just wannafeel you."

Kurt grinned, kissed Blaine swiftly and swiped the lube of his night-stand. He quickly popped it open, poured a little onto his fingers, and started to warm it up as he sucked over Blaine's neck, his lips firm and rough as Blaine fucked into his fist.

"Kurt, hurry," Blaine begged, and Kurt knew that voice, the one that meant Blaine was tottering on the edge of his orgasm unless Kurt eased up and slowed him down. This wasn't a moment Kurt wanted to rush into, not after the last time he'd touched Blaine there and gotten such a terrible reaction from it.

He eased up on his stroking; focusing more of kissing over Blaine's neck as he dipped one finger down towards Blaine's perineum and then slowly pushed down towards his ass cheeks. Kurt tensed, expecting the absolute worst, but–

"Fuck," Blaine groaned, his voice cracking and full of emotion as he draped his forearm over his eyes. He pushed his ass back against Kurt's finger and hand, biting his lip and swearing again. "Kurt, please."

Trembling, both with the weakness from his orgasm and his own nerves about breeching this moment, Kurt pressed his finger against the puckered skin, circling it softly as Blaine sighed and pushed against him again. After a few moments, where he caught himself and tried to grapple for the control he had minutes ago, Kurt pushed the tip in, feeling Blaine tighten and grab at the bedding.

"More," Blaine demanded roughly, pushing himself down onto Kurt's finger.

The demand surprised Kurt but he obeyed, beginning to thrust, and then tentatively adding a second finger. Blaine tensed then, paused, and grasped for Kurt's hand. Immediately, Kurt tangled his fingers with Blaine's as he nodded for Kurt to roll them over. A little uncertain, Kurt did so, taking Blaine's weight with him until the other man was settled down on top of him.

"Love you," Blaine whispered, digging his elbows into the bed and kissing Kurt quickly. He sunk back onto Kurt's fingers with a drawn out groan. "Stay just like that," he murmured vaguely. "Feels so good just like that."

Kurt did as requested, keeping his right hand stiff and steady for Blaine to push back on as he took hold of Blaine's cock with the other, stroking and twisting as Blaine moved about him. There were deep groans vibrating across his skin as Blaine shifted and fucked himself, both onto Kurt's fingers and through his fist. It wasn't something they'd ever done before. Almost without fail, Blaine had always been docile and submissive when he bottomed, even in a fingering capacity.

This was nice, exhilarating, like firecrackers igniting and popping in Kurt's belly as he watched Blaine take control in such a vulnerable position. It was releasing to know it didn't always have to be him dominating them if they played with power, regardless of position.

Blaine raised himself up more, his hands pressing into the mattress as he rolled his hips. Kurt leaned up dotting Blaine's chest with sloppy kisses until a shout of ecstasy echoed above him and Blaine started coming over his fist.

Shaking and groaning, Blaine collapsed down onto him, knocking them both back down into the rumpled bedding and pillows. Jeans still twisted around their thighs, Kurt sighed and hugged Blaine tightly against his chest, amazed at the huge jump they'd just made and so thankful that Blaine had found a way to get there within himself and his own guilt.

Kurt tugged Blaine up enough to have his face in licking distance and slowly cleaned the rest of the come off his face so that it didn't crust over and mess up the skincare Kurt meticulously kept on him about.

"You're the best," Blaine murmured sleepily, caressing Kurt's chest and neck as he lapped up the last drop of come and kissed Blaine's cheek. "I'll never break your trust again," he added after a moment. "I know you're still not there yet with everything, but we're both still getting there with all of this. I'm just glad we're doing the last leg of this journey together."

"So am I," Kurt said after a moment. "I don't think I could forgive you if there weren't so many positive things between us. We're getting there, I think," he added softly. "It just takes time and effort to heal these things."

"Mhmm," Blaine hummed, nodding against his chest and then brushing his lips against Kurt's neck.

They didn't speak after that. For a long time, they just held each other, kissing occasionally and rubbing over skin when it got too cold in the loft. It was a perfect evening for Kurt, better than anything he could have imagined, and as he fell asleep, a new warmth settled in his chest, steady and full of faith and a trust he'd always imagined himself having in Blaine before, but never realizing he hadn't had until it had burrowed into his heart just now.